After the Fairy Tale
by LadyKatie
Summary: Harry Potter's life isn't as perfect as most people think. After his marriage falls apart he goes in search of something more and just may find it... in an old enemy. But how will this new life fit with his old one?  H/D SLASH.
1. Secrets Revealed

**Author's Note: This Harry/Draco romance is completely Deathly Hallows (and epilogue) compatible! Impossible, you say? Very nearly impossible, but not quite. I am, as always committed to complete canon accuracy. If there is something that the books themselves don't cover, then I rely on some of JKR's comments about the characters' futures (as given by the Harry Potter wiki.) I used my imagination to fill in the blanks on everything else.**

**Warnings and Pairings: Rated M for the occasional sex scene, lots of swearing, drug use, non-monogamy, H/D, Harry/OMC, Draco/OMC, Harry/Draco/OMC, promiscuity (that's actually an understatement), themes of death, suicide and depression. Despite all of that, it really isn't a dark fic.**

**Disclaimer: Why yes, I AM JK Rowling…. OK, not really. No copyright infringement intended.**

After the Fairy Tale

by LadyKatie

Chapter One – Secrets Revealed

Distantly Harry could hear the sound of giddy revelers and offensively loud music. It was the night when people took to the streets, dancing and drinking, but after so many years Harry still couldn't bring himself to celebrate it, this day that held so much sadness. He had fought against those who wished to name the day after him and won, though sometimes it was still referred to by his name. In the past he stayed home with Ginny and pretended the outside world didn't exist. This year, of course, was different.

Harry had come to the Leaky Cauldron often over the past few weeks. It was a familiar, friendly place. His old school friend, Hannah, had bought the building when Tom retired and she ran the place now. Hannah had learned not to call him by name when he was there, knowing that he didn't want the attention. Tonight it probably wouldn't have mattered. There were three people in the bar besides Harry and one of them was Hannah. It became tradition not to celebrate Victory at Hogwarts Day indoors. Harry couldn't argue with the reasoning for this. Too many of them had been in hiding when Voldemort was in power. When the war ended and they were free, they preferred to keep the parties out in the streets. Hogwarts began taking two days off from classes and opened up the grounds for the one night for people to gather, both to celebrate and to pay their respects to the large memorial that had been set up for the victims of the war. Madam Rosemerta hosted a huge party just outside of Hogsmeade and the students were allowed to go down to it. At her request, Harry went there on the first anniversary. He gave a speech (written by Hermione) about the rebuilding of the school and reforming the Ministry. People had congratulated him and thanked him. It had been exactly like the days immediately following the war. But with less grief. Harry hadn't gone back since.

His life had been quiet mostly. He became an auror right away to help Kingsley clean up the last of the Death Eaters. After Ginny's successful Quidditch career, they got married and had three children. He loved them more than anything else, but eventually even that wasn't enough. He had moved out of their home only a month ago. Now, instead of sitting at home, reminiscing with Ginny, Harry was on a barstool, sipping firewhiskey, wondering what the hell he was going to do with his life.

"What's this?" came a drawling, familiar voice. "Harry Potter doesn't celebrate his own victory?"

Harry didn't have to look. He wasn't even surprised that Draco Malfoy was there. It was fitting really that on the one day Harry didn't want to see anyone he would run into the one person he never really cared to see. Harry had only laid eyes on Malfoy three times since the end of the war. The first was after the battle when he gave Draco's wand back. The second was a few years later in Diagon Alley. They had nodded in acknowledgement, but said nothing. The third was just that past September when they were both sending their sons off to their first year of Hogwarts. Each time Harry found himself obsessing about Malfoy and his life since the war. He had spent so much time in school tracking Malfoy's every move that it was hard to not wonder what his life was like now. Rumor had it Draco spent much of his time out of the country and Harry figured that was easiest for him. The Malfoy name never did mean quite the same thing again. But then there had been a lot of other rumors about the Malfoy family over the years and Harry was never quite sure what to believe.

Harry took another sip of his firewhiskey and answered the sarcastic question. "You know, the first time he stayed dead for thirteen years."

Malfoy ordered a firewhiskey from Hannah, who scowled at him before getting his drink. "It's been twenty years now. Think we're safe yet?"

"All that means is we've been pushing our luck for the past seven years."

"When did you become so cynical?"

"When was I ever an optimist?"

Without asking whether he was welcome or not, Malfoy sat down on the stool next to Harry and lit a cigarette. He seemed so much more… sloppy than Harry remembered. Every time Harry had seen him over the years Draco was so stiff and proper. His clothes were always neat and fashionable, without a fiber out of place. He stood straight and tall and arrogantly proud. Tonight he was slightly more relaxed. He didn't appear to be drunk already, yet he leaned against the bar like any other slob.

"I never go to those parties either," said Malfoy conversationally.

"Why should you? Your side lost."

"The only side I was on was that of my parents," he spat. "I was never on _his_ side."

The mention of Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy reminded Harry of something he read in the paper just a few months ago.

"I was sorry to hear about your father, by the way."

"I really doubt that, Potter."

"Okay. Well, I can't say I really liked the man, but I'm sorry for your family's loss. I saw him out with your son once in Diagon Alley and he seemed... changed. And your son seemed so happy with him."

"He was never convicted," Draco reminded him.

Harry snorted. "Because your mum saved me, not because he was innocent."

Draco wasn't foolish enough to try to deny that. He knew what his father was. His mother's actions changed their family's allegiance and that was what kept them all out of prison. Nothing else. He and Harry were silent while they each took another sip from their drinks.

"He regretted it," Draco said just above a whisper. "So much that he couldn't live with it anymore."

That did get Harry's attention. "The _Prophet_ said it was an accident."

"You of all people know not to believe the _Prophet_. The accident was sitting down with a bottle of firewhiskey and his own self-made poison. He created it with no antidote, for that reason alone. Probably had been planning it for weeks. Can you blame us for keeping that out of the _Prophet_?"

"No. I'm sorry." Harry thought a moment. "So why are you telling me?"

"You don't have any reason to tell anyone else. If you did they would want to know why you were on such friendly terms with me." Draco slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, studying Harry closely. "So why are you here, drowning your sorrows when you could be at home making more little Potters?"

Harry hesitated. Somewhere in his mind he questioned the sudden appearance of Malfoy and his less than hostile demeanor. Why should he sit here and spill his guts to a man who he not only hadn't spoken to in twenty years, but whom he didn't even like in the first place? On the other hand, Ron and Hermione had sort of been obligated to side with Ginny in their whole situation. It wasn't creating any real problems within the family, but Harry got the distinct impression that Ron didn't want to hear Harry's side of it. Hell, he needed to talk to someone.

"Ginny and I aren't together anymore. We're getting a divorce."

"Shocking," Draco replied, although he looked quite unsurprised. The split had been the talk of the tabloids. Everyone in the country had heard. Harry remembered hearing about Draco's own divorce just before Christmas. "Nobody stays married anymore. So what happened with you and the Weaselette?"

"Would you not call her that? She may be my ex, but she's still the mother of my kids."

"Sorry. Well?"

"Oh. I don't know. Why does anyone get divorced?"

"She divorced the savior of the wizarding world, so there must have been a reason."

"We just fell out of love. Nothing dramatic. Just realized that we weren't happy anymore. It's been happening for a couple years. What about you?"

Draco shrugged and took another drag from his cigarette. "She caught me fucking the gardener."

Harry's eyebrows shot up and he nearly spit out his drink. So the Prophet got one right... That was very intriguing.

"Are you serious?"

Draco smirked. "Didn't think I was actually a pouf, did you?"

"I had no reason to consider your sexuality at all, Malfoy. It's not something I really fixate on. Though I heard the rumors."

"And I heard some about you." Draco noticed how Harry's hand froze on his glass. "Though yours didn't make it into the _Prophet_. Apparently they feel they are above printing such obvious and slanderous lies about the great Harry Potter."

Harry cleared his throat in what he hoped was a casual-sounding manner. "So where did you see them?"

"Some of the less reputable publications have speculated for a while now. I browse them every now and then."

"Just in case you see a preposterous story about an old school rival so you can track him down in a pub and harass him?"

Draco actually laughed. "Don't flatter yourself, Potter. I don't care enough about you to make the effort. And you're not really my type."

"Thanks."

"But I don't think the story was so preposterous."

Harry stared down into his drink. "Stop it, Malfoy."

Draco practically squealed in delight. "I love being right."

"You're not."

"You're body language says otherwise."

"You're watching my body? I thought I'm not your type."

"I lied."

For the second time in as many minutes Harry nearly spit out his drink. Draco only laughed and took another sip of his own.

"So how long have you known?"

"Known what?" Harry asked, resolutely _not_ looking in the other man's direction. He noticed Hannah at the end of the room, out of earshot, but watching them closely.

"That you're gay, Potter."

"I'm not."

"Whatever."

"Just drop it, Malfoy." Harry stood up and set some coins down on the counter to pay for his drink. "And don't believe everything you read in the bloody papers."

Draco swiveled on his stool to watch him leave and smiled. He'd never really given a whole lot of thought on Potter one way or another. Not since school when all they did was fight. But now, knowing that the paper had gotten it right _and_ that Potter was nowhere near comfortable with the topic, he decided that there were worse things to do than catching up with an old classmate. He just may have to find himself in a bar with Potter more often.


	2. All Good Things

**Chapter Two – All Good Things…**

It wasn't an easy thing, admitting that it was over. In fact, it was the hardest thing Harry had ever done, including vanquishing the most powerful Dark wizard in history. But it was the right thing to do. Ginny was actually taking it much better than he was. She was tough, like the rest of her family. Harry believed she could take just about anything and he admired her for it. It wasn't that he didn't love her. He did with all his heart. But their love had somehow shifted over the years. It was so much less passionate, less romantic. It had come to the point where he could almost describe his love for his wife in the same terms as he would for Hermione. And that just wasn't right. No one could live like that. Ginny deserved better. _He_ deserved better.

It had been coming for a few years, but with three kids in the house it was easy to put their relationship on the backburner. Then James went away to school and the house was a little quieter and the holes in their marriage were more noticeable. And when Al went to Hogwarts too it only got worse. Lily was still at home, but she was so quiet, so self sufficient that there were moments when it was almost like she wasn't there at all. At night, when she was tucked into bed, the adults had more time to consider their relationship. Most marriages became somewhat predictable at some point. After so many years together and children running around it was easy to be less in love and at first that was what they thought it was. They had always been big believers in being honest and straightforward about their feelings and that was how they went to work trying to fix things. It didn't go as well as they'd hoped. By Christmas they were thankful to have the other two kids home to create a distraction. At Easter they told the children that Harry would be moving out.

And it happened just that quietly. No fights. No affairs. Just a quiet acceptance that their feelings were unchanging. In keeping with the tradition of their relationship Harry was completely honest about his own issues. It wasn't as if there was someone else lined up for Harry. He wasn't leaving her _for_ anyone else. It was just that there was something missing, something he needed that he didn't realize was missing before. He wasn't sure what it was, only that Ginny didn't have it. He sincerely didn't know what he was looking for.

Lily was spending the day at the Burrow when he and Ginny had that final conversation on the matter. They sat at the kitchen table, tea in front of them. He reached across the table surface and held her hand, both their wedding rings in plain view and she stared down at them as she considered everything he had just told her. He was incomplete in some way. For a long time she thought it was just part of his history. Harry Potter carried more emotional baggage than anyone else on the planet. But as long as he seemed happy she let him remain that way. There was always something missing though. He may not have known it at times, but she'd seen it and told him as much. He loved her, she knew, but never let himself be completely free with her. Even in their most intimate moments there was something that he was missing. A part of him was somewhere else. So she let him go.

Later on Harry wondered if Ginny had always suspected the truth. He didn't discover it himself until the week he moved out. He'd been in the locker room at work, changing out of his dirty robes after a long day out on the job. The room was empty apart from himself and a very young auror, William Davis, whom he didn't know well. Davis had been glancing at him from his locker twenty feet away for some time. There had been a couple others there, including Ron, but when they left Davis looked around cautiously to ensure privacy. He cleared his throat.

"So, er, Potter, that was really brilliant work on the Burton case."

"Thanks," Harry replied. People had been congratulating him and Ron on it all week, but Harry had been the one to write up the report and present it at the weekly training meeting as a new tool for detecting hidden surveillance charms. Just the way Davis had gone about offering his praise put him on guard however. The young man seemed almost nervous speaking to him and he was coming closer.

"I… I know this isn't my business, but I heard… about your marriage."

"Oh." It hadn't taken the _Prophet_ long to print that story.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"No, it's okay. I guess I have to get used to it, eh?"

Davis came closer, right up into Harry's personal space. They were almost touching. Harry could feel the man's breath hitting his cheek, hot and smelling of peppermint.

"Must be weird for you. After all these years to be single again."

"A little too old for all that, I think."

"Well, I wouldn't worry about that," Davis smiled. "You're still a catch." And then he did something Harry absolutely was not prepared for. He winked.

Harry stood completely still, shocked, as Davis left the room. Harry remained exactly where he was for several minutes, willing his heart to not pound out of his chest. And willing his penis to not betray him. He was definitely feeling something that he should _not_ be feeling for this man. He'd noticed Davis around before of course. Everyone noticed him. He was a good auror with a very promising career ahead of him and, if Harry must admit it, he was very good looking. But Harry had never had such… close contact with him. And he'd never thought of him like _that_. Maybe he'd noticed other men before, appreciated them, but he'd never given much more thought to it. Maybe he just hadn't _let _himself think any more about it. But after that day Harry felt he had a better idea of what it was that he was looking for and why he couldn't find it with Ginny.

He ended up with a flat in muggle London. It was close enough to Diagon Alley to be convenient, but far enough away for some semblance of privacy. As soon as word got out that the Chosen One was back on the market he couldn't get a moment's peace. And then the rumors started. He'd heard some of them, despite the fact they only ran in the less reputable papers. He wasn't sure if it was just one of those natural rumors that was bound to pop up under such circumstances or if it was more directly related to the incident with Davis in the locker room. Harry hadn't told anyone about it of course, but Davis wasn't an idiot. Harry hadn't done a very good job hiding his attraction- or his surprise at the attraction- and he didn't know if Davis was the sort who would sell a story. He didn't think many people really believed the rumor, but the night in the Leaky Cauldron with Malfoy had unnerved him. He didn't even know what he wanted or how to begin figuring out his own sexuality. And he certainly didn't want Draco Malfoy meddling in it.

Once the kids came home from school that summer Harry and Ginny worked out a better visitation schedule. Up until then it was a very casual thing to go see Lily whenever he wanted. He was proud that he and Ginny had maintained such a good relationship with each other. So many other divorced couples he knew couldn't stop fighting, but he and Ginny got along as well as they ever had. Two weeks after school ended Harry had all three of his children over to his flat for the weekend. James had big Quidditch news to share and gave the play-by-play on how Gryffindor had almost gotten the Cup, but they lost a game to Slytherin. Al couldn't stop talking about his first year. He was sorted into Gryffindor of course and was already completely invested in the House rivalries.

"Rose is angry because she would be first in our class if it wasn't for Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" Harry asked curiously. It amused him for some reason that he couldn't escape from Malfoy even while with his own children.

"Scorpius. He's a Slytherin in our year. He's sort of mean, but I guess he gets good marks. Rose hates him now."

Harry nodded, thinking how much of a fit Hermione would have thrown if Draco was ahead of her in any class.

"And what do you think of Scorpius?"

"Well… he's a Slytherin."

"Yes. And?"

"Well I know you said that not all Slytherins are bad, but it sure seems like most of them are. And even some of the Slytherins don't like Scorpius. It's got something to do with his dad or granddad. I'm not sure."

"I think I know what that's about. It's sad people won't let it go." Harry thought about Lucius Malfoy torturing himself for nearly twenty years over what he had done and finally taking his own life because of it. That legacy shouldn't be passed on to the child.

"What did they do?" Al asked, wide eyed.

"It has to do with the war and it was a long time ago. It doesn't make Scorpius a bad person."

"He usually minds his own business, 'cept when people talk about his dad. Then he usually gets detention."

"I suspect it's not much different than what you and James would do if someone said something bad about your family."

"But they only say good stuff about you."

"That may be. But perhaps that is only because they don't remember the bad stuff. I did a lot of bad stuff. And good stuff. And sometimes even bad stuff that turned out good in the end. The point is, you wouldn't want to be judged on my bad behavior, so Scorpius shouldn't be judged by what people think of his dad. Regardless of what your Uncle Ron says about it."

Al thought about that a few moments. Finally he looked up at his dad.

"Was what Scorpius' dad did really bad?"

"He was… He did all he knew how to protect his family. It's hard to know right and wrong when you're scared for someone you love."

Al seemed satisfied by this answer, but it gave Harry more to think on. How bad was Draco really? True he was never really a Death Eater, at least not in spirit, but was he at all a threat anymore? He currently knew something deeply personal about Harry that not even Ron or Hermione was aware of. Could Harry really trust him with such a secret in the long term?

Harry got the answer to that question a few weeks later. He had gotten brave and ventured out into the muggle world for an evening. Having gotten over some of his initial shock and fear about exploring his sexuality, he was getting more and more eager to really figure things out. So he went out in search of the answers. His first stop was to a place he'd heard rumors about just in passing, a bar that had gotten the reputation of being "that gay place" among people who made jokes about that sort of thing.

He dressed casually, in jeans and a t-shirt and arrived at the bar around nine on a Friday evening. He ordered a beer and sat, content to merely observe for a while. It didn't seem to be very busy, but as he sat there the place got very crowded very quickly. He got several offers of free drinks, which he politely turned down. It had been a long time since he was single. He didn't know modern dating protocol and he certainly was not comfortable with whatever would be expected of him after a few drinks. He was trying to ease himself into this.

In the weeks since Davis' subtle flirting Harry had begun to really consider the possibility of being attracted to men in some way. He never had before and it irritated him to the point of distraction because he found himself searching his memory for anything in his past that could explain the sudden interest. He analyzed things far more than necessary looking for hints of secret attraction. Every moment in the Gryffindor locker room, every night undressing in the dormitories came under close scrutiny. He didn't believe that there was anything that he had been trying to hide, even on a subconscious level. He couldn't be sure, but everything seemed perfectly normal. So he was completely caught off guard when young Auror Davis created such a heat, a feeling of desire that he had never consciously felt for another man.

Since then he looked for more instances of same-sex attraction, testing it out. Was it men in general that he liked or was there something special about Davis? Did he have a particular type that interested him more? What would it feel like to touch a man? Harry suspected that it was something he really wanted, but then having never had any such experience wasn't it possible that his mind was running away with him? Wasn't it possible that after all the looking and analyzing and desiring he wouldn't really like men after all? Just as this thought entered his mind a very muscular bloke passed him heading toward the billiards. The man looked Harry over once and smirked, continuing on his way. Harry felt his heart speed up as he watched the man go, paying particular attention to his ass. No, there was definitely a feeling that he couldn't ignore, he thought as he suddenly found his jeans quite tight in the front.

He didn't even know where to start in order to get what he wanted. He'd been making love to the same woman for more than twenty years. The thought of any new lover was terrifying, but when he considered switching to a different gender entirely… it was something that would have to wait for a different night. He finished his drink, paid his tab and stepped out into the warm July evening. He immediately turned to the right, knowing there was a spot not far away where he could disapparate. Unfortunately his escape would not go quite so smoothly.

"Harry Potter. How lovely running into you here."

Harry froze, knowing the voice far too well to hold out any hope that he was mistaken. He turned around slowly and tried not to look like he had just been caught, though he obviously had.

"Malfoy."

"I was wondering when you would finally have the bollocks to venture into this part of town. They all do eventually, but you have significantly more to lose by being here."

"What are you talking about, Malfoy?" Yeah, play dumb, he thought.

"I'm talking about the world's savior wandering out of a homosexual drinking establishment. Merlin, the ruckus it would cause if the _Prophet_ found out!"

Harry looked around, still playing the fool. He then allowed a look of recognition pass over his face. "Oh, you mean this bar?" He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I was following a suspect for work. That's why I'm here."

Malfoy's smile fell minutely, but he recovered. "Nice try, Potter. I would have thought you'd be a better liar by now."

"Don't believe me then, but this is Auror business. That's all."

He turned to walk away, but Malfoy stopped him again. "All the same, I'm sure if word got out the press would just have a field day with it. By the time someone at the Auror department could confirm- if in fact it _could_ be confirmed- then it wouldn't matter because your reputation would be completely trashed."

Harry let out an exacerbated sigh. "What do you want?"

"I just want you to stop lying. I caught you here. Quit acting like a first year and admit it."

"Fine. You caught me. Can I go home and sulk for a while before my personal life ends up in the paper again?"

"Why's it going to be in the paper?"

"I assumed you were going to tell."

"Why? Just because I'm me?"

"Personal experience says yes."

"Well then I'd have to admit to being here too. And while I don't really give a fuck about what they say about me, I _do_ care what my son is subjected to as a result of my actions. Really Potter, I know I'm an asshole, but I'm not a bad father."

"I didn't mean to imply otherwise."

"So I'm guessing it's a dull night in there?" Draco said, gesturing toward the pub door.

"Why?"

"You're leaving alone. If a bloke like you can't get lucky then it's got to be dead."

"Maybe I just chose to go home."

Draco appraised him through narrowed eyes. It really shouldn't have been as uncomfortable as it was. It was just Malfoy, after all, but somehow Harry got the feeling that Malfoy could read him and he was looking for something specific. Suddenly he found it and his eyes went wide, brows shooting up to his hairline. "You've never done this before!"

"Go away," Harry said, trying to escape again. He cringed at the sound of Malfoy's laughter.

"You're a virgin!"

Harry spun around. "Will you shut up! I'm not a virgin, you idiot."

"Well, not in the traditional sense; you have Weasley spawn after all. What I meant is you've never slept with a man."

Harry felt his face go tomato red and looked away.

"I'm right," Malfoy cackled. "How could you have never—"

"Because I didn't know! Okay?" Harry yelled and ran a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. "I was happy with Ginny. So happy that I didn't have to have anything else, but things change. Okay?"

Malfoy frowned, taken aback by the sudden outburst and the raw honesty in it.

"I think maybe it was always there in some way, but as long as I loved Ginny it didn't matter. I was happy for once. Or at least it was damn good imitation of happiness. And now that we're not in love I know that there's something else. There are these parts of me that I never knew existed and now I'm free to let them exist and explore them. I just… don't know how. So there you go, Malfoy. Let's hear it."

Malfoy swallowed thickly and glanced away. "Hear what?"

"I just gave you the perfect opportunity to mock me. I gave you everything you need to make my life a living hell. Go for it."

"What can I say, Potter? Nothing you said was at all funny or mock-worthy."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "It wasn't?"

"No. Rather a pity; I enjoy mocking you."

"Er… sorry?"

Malfoy looked up at that and snorted in amusement. "You're an idiot, Potter." He observed the other man for several seconds. "You've really never been with a man?"

"No. And thank you for rubbing it in."

"Ever kissed one?"

He growled in frustration giving away the answer. "Is my humiliation over yet?"

"Knowing you, probably not."

Harry shook his head and turned in the general direction he had been heading until Malfoy found him.

"Wait, Potter." Harry stopped while Malfoy caught up, but did not turn around. "You're not going to tell anyone about me, right?"

"Are you mad? And out myself in the process?"

"Right. So if I'm not telling and neither are you, then we are sort of in the same boat, so to speak."

"Yes?"

"Don't make me say it. I'm offering to… show you around. Introduce you to a few people."

"Like who?"

"Like _gay_ people, Potter. I doubt you know any or you wouldn't have wandered out to this particular bar all by yourself."

"I know how to meet people, Malfoy. Some people think I'm quite friendly."

"Right. Then why aren't you going home with someone right now?" Harry hesitated. "Because you're scared and you have no clue what you're doing."

"So what are you going to do about it, Malfoy?"

"I'm going to teach you."

"No offense, but you're not my type."

"Actually I am," he retorted with complete confidence, "but that's not what I meant. Teaching is different from fucking. Don't confuse the two or we're going to have problems."

"I don't know…"

"Who else is going to introduce you this big new world you have in front of you?"

"Forget it Malfoy."

Harry walked away, but Fate seemed to have predestined him to be forever tortured by the presence of Draco Malfoy. It was only two weeks later that he ran into the other man at the very same bar.

"I thought that wasss you sitting over here all awone," said Malfoy, sliding onto a bar stool next to Harry. From his breath and slur he was clearly inebriated. "You shouldn't drink alone. It does scandalous things to your rap-rep- reputation."

"And you care."

"I don't. Have you had any luck since our last conversation?"

"It's not your business."

"I take that as a 'no'. It must be so lonely, just you and your right hand. Or do you use your left also?"

"Shut it, Malfoy."

"Well where would the fun be in that? Do you see that bloke over there by the door? The brunette with the muscles. I'm going home with him in about thirty seconds. And you're going home alone. Meet me outside Club Gemini tomorrow at eleven and I will help you. Get over how much you hate me and just do it."

With that Malfoy set down his beer stein on the counter and sauntered off toward the door. There he wrapped his arm around the nameless man and left. Harry couldn't help feeling just a little twinge of jealousy. Draco Malfoy, of all people, had something that Harry wanted. Hell, at this point Harry would have gone home with just about anyone there. Malfoy's assessment about his right hand was more accurate than he wanted to admit. But he wasn't good at this. He'd never tried to pick up a man before and he'd certainly never slept with one. At this point he was seriously considering taking any help he could get.


	3. Letting Go

**Chapter Three – Letting Go**

Harry dressed in his nicest black jeans and a plain black t-shirt the following night, hardly believing that he was going anywhere to meet up with Malfoy willingly. He looked himself over in the mirror. He'd done a lot of observing during his tentative venture into the gay scene. He had twenty years of training in observing small details. That was what his job was all about. If you notice the little things you can predict some of the bigger things. Attention to those details had saved his life on the job more than once. Now he was putting those skills to use in noticing the ways that everyone walked or dressed.

He sighed at his reflection and pulled out his wand. His t-shirt was far too loose, but a simple shrinking charm took care of it so the fabric pulled over his toned chest. That was the main thing that he'd noticed: the tighter the better. Or at least that was what he liked to look at. His jeans hugged his ass comfortably. Any tighter and he wouldn't be able to take them off. He ran a hand through his hair, but there was no hope for that.

One apparition and a three block walk later he met Draco outside Club Gemini. He didn't miss the way Malfoy's eyes travelled up his legs and torso. Draco himself was looking pretty good. It was a little painful for Harry to admit that the other man really was quite attractive. He was also far more stylish. Draco appeared to enjoy all the latest fashions, looking about the same as all the other people around while Harry was feeling out of place and old. They ordered drinks at the bar and Draco was already busy scanning the room for his next target.

"I feel weird here, Malfoy. Most of these kids are under twenty-five."

"You're birthday hit you a little hard this year?"

"We're damn near forty. Doesn't that ever bother you?"

"Well, it's not as if anyone here cares. If you're hot no one really gives it much thought, but I lie about my age anyway. You could too. You may be thirty-eight, but you look more like twenty-eight to muggle standards. Use that to your advantage."

"You lie about your age?"

"It's not like anyone will ever know the truth. I still look young and I intend to enjoy my youth."

"Right." Harry looked Draco over, noticing once again that, yes, he did look pretty good and youthful. Yet as he looked at the blond man something didn't quite seem right. There was something that was wrong, or just a little off, but he just couldn't place what it was.

"Quit staring at me, Potter."

"Have you done something different with your hair?"

Draco looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

"It's just something seems different."

"Don't try to change the subject. You've got your drink. It's time to get you dancing."

"I don't dance all that well."

"We're in a _dance club_, Potter. You're going to dance."

"With who?"

"Me." Harry raised an eyebrow. "Just to get you started. Then you can move on to whomever you choose. Come on."

Harry took one last hurried sip and set his drink down as Draco dragged him away. He had to admit that there was something hypnotic about being in the middle of the dance floor. The flashing lights were paralyzing and the beat of the music overtook the pumping of his heart.

"Quit staring and dance!" Malfoy yelled at him.

Harry finally did start moving, but he wasn't all that sure what to do about the actual dancing. Sure, he had observed what others were doing, but it is so much harder to imitate a movement than a look. It's so much harder to pretend to actually have rhythm, but he eventually did it.

Draco was a complete natural at dancing. When he was in public, particularly among wizards, he was normally so guarded, reserved. He walked with poise and grace and confidence. Apparently that grace transferred over to the dance floor, but all reservations were gone. Once he got started he actually closed his eyes, letting the music guide his every movement. His hips swung perfectly in sync with the thumping bass. Harry felt much less graceful, but let Draco lead him.

After a few minutes Draco came closer and put his hands on Harry's hips. Harry immediately stopped what he was doing, but then realized that Draco was trying to correct him. He was actually pushing Harry in time with the music.

"I'm terrible at this," Harry shouted over the music.

Draco only smiled and moved even closer, completely invading personal space. Draco was a couple inches taller and it felt like some kind of disadvantage to Harry who became quite conscious of piercing gray eyes that he couldn't turn away from. Draco's hands were still on his hips and though they were directing movement, Harry felt as if they were also preventing his escape. Draco's body was inches from his own now, unavoidable. They brushed lightly in their dancing. A hand left Harry's hip to grab his own hand, directing it toward Draco's shoulder. He was half terrified, half relieved. He'd been feeling awkward because the position they were in left him with little to do with his hands and they'd been hanging uselessly at his sides. But this… this closeness to Draco wasn't making him feel any less awkward.

"Relax, Potter. You're not going to get anywhere if you can't do this."

"You're saying, essentially, to be properly gay I have to grope you?"

He grinned. "If this is your idea of groping then I feel sorry for your ex-wife. And no. This," he motioned around the dance floor, "doesn't have anything to do with being gay, 'properly' or otherwise." He directed Harry's second hand to his shoulder and put his own hand on Harry's back, pulling them even closer, if that was possible. "_This_ has to do with these walls you have put up around you. This has to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin. You're so desperate to figure yourself out, but you have to let go a little more or you'll never get there."

"By practically humping you in a club."

"No, by not caring _who_ you're practically humping in the club. I can feel every nerve in your body wanting to run out that door. How can the man who destroyed Voldemort be so scared of something as insignificant as my hands?"

Harry squirmed a little as Draco's hand moved closer to his ass, proving the point.

"Voldemort didn't try to molest me."

"So brave in everything else, but so afraid of your own sexuality." He leaned in with his head close to Harry's ear. "Let go of it, Potter."

And as Harry stared up into Draco's eyes something inside him did let go. His hands, that had merely been resting where they were left on Draco's shoulders, moved to bring their upper bodies closer. Draco smirked and continued dancing. He was still guiding Harry a little, but Harry's attention had refocused. He wasn't thinking of how he looked or who was currently holding him, but let the music take over completely.

After a few moments Draco must have decided that Harry had gotten the hang of things, for he pulled away and they continued dancing a respectable distance apart. This opened up their availability to anyone else in the crowd and Harry was approached by several others over the next hour. In fact he was so distracted that he lost Draco in the crowd, which wasn't as frightening to him as he thought it would be. He was surprised to find that he was doing quite well on his own. He was having fun, even if he wasn't entirely comfortable yet with the closeness of everyone.

He was dancing with a very handsome man when he decided it was time for another drink and excused himself. As he approached the bar he noticed Draco talking to a very tall dark-haired man. The stranger didn't look happy, but Draco was completely relaxed, drinking his scotch as if the man wasn't even there. Harry got close enough to hear the man's shouting even over the music.

"I'm not accustomed to being dismissed like some piece of trash!"

"Is there a problem here," Harry interrupted, glancing at Draco.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"This," Draco began, "is my bodyguard. Now run along before I give him the attack command."

The man looked Harry up and down and clearly did not see the danger. Despite his fit physique, Harry had never had an imposing frame. And, being a little on the short side, he didn't appear intimidating at all to muggles. It was wizards that feared him, but here he was without the protection of his reputation.

"I'm not afraid of your little friend, Malfoy. I want you to at least acknowledge what I've said."

"Fine. I'm not dismissing you like a piece of trash. I'm dismissing you like a hot piece of ass that I'm done with."

"That's it? You just decided you were done with me? Just like that?"

"Pretty much."

The man shook his head and looked at Harry again. "Let this be a lesson, he'll replace you soon enough."

He stalked off and out of the club and Harry sat down next to Draco. "What was that about?"

"I didn't call him the next day."

"Sounds like more than that. Is he your boyfriend?"

Draco shrugged. "Not anymore."

"Why did you break up?"

He sighed impatiently. "It's not a break up so much as a… no longer fucking. We never called each other pet names or went to fancy dinners and I never, ever referred to him as a boyfriend. We just fucked. Frequently. For a couple months. But I'm bored, so I'm moving on."

"You just get bored and dump him? He's obviously upset about it."

"And he obviously shouldn't be. It was never supposed to be a relationship. I know this is difficult for your 'I've only slept with one person in twenty years' brain to handle, but I like sex and I like variety. I don't want to be tied to the same person forever. I don't want a boyfriend or partner or husband, okay?"

Harry nodded slowly. "It's your life. It just looked like… I just thought you could have been a little nicer to him. It's obvious you hurt his feelings."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'll take that under advisement."

Harry ordered a drink and they sat in silence, turning around every now and then to admire the scenery. When Harry decided he'd had enough for one night he thanked Draco for taking him out.

"Why are you doing this anyway? Why help me?"

"Don't question it."

"I can't help it."

He sighed. "We're the same, aren't we? For whatever reason, we were each living with a big lie. That makes us joined in this one thing, if nothing else. Besides, you saved my arse a few times in the war. I figure if I get you laid a couple times we'll be even."

Harry actually laughed. "You saying your life isn't worth more than a couple fucks?"

"Truthfully, Potter? There are days when I wish you'd let me die in the Room of Requirement." He swallowed his shot in one gulp and set the glass back on the counter. "But then I get laid and life is bearable again."

To anyone who had been at Hogwarts that day, who had lost anyone, there were days, or at least moments when they acknowledged that a part of their soul was lost there too. But life was supposed to go on happily and so they didn't talk about those dead parts of them. In twenty years Malfoy was the first person who had been so terribly honest. After the war everyone tried to make things normal again. They forced themselves to settle down and be happy just to prove that their loved ones hadn't died in vain. Harry wondered if that was what brought them to where they were today, to failed marriages and repressed sexuality. As morose as it was, it was refreshing to be with someone who didn't observed the rules of silence.

"Well, I have to be getting home."

"Alone again," Draco sneered.

"Thank you once again for pointing it out. Yes, it may take a while to feel comfortable with all of this."

"Good night then." Harry started to leave until Draco called him back. "Hey Potter? You doing anything tomorrow after work?"

"No." Harry tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

"I need you to go shopping with me."

"What? Why?"

"Have you looked at yourself?"

Harry looked down. He actually thought he looked pretty damn hot.

"What's wrong?"

"What's _not_ wrong? Let's just say if you're going to be out here trying to attract certain kinds of men then you have to act in a certain way. That includes wearing clothes that have been fashionable at least in the last decade."

Out of a mixture of curiosity and boredom Harry met Draco at a predetermined location after work and they went together to a muggle shopping center. Harry had never been good at picking out specific clothes. He generally took his time looking for something that was comfortable and suited him well, but it had never been about fashion. He didn't know what he was looking for, but knew what he liked once he found it. In direct contrast, Draco had shopping down to a science. He knew exactly what he was looking for and could rattle off names of designers that Harry never heard of.

And the dressing rooms! Never had Harry known anyone who had such an obsession with trying clothes on at the store and staring in the mirror for twenty minutes before purchasing the items. Harry never bothered to try on anything before, unless he was being fitted at Madam Maulkin's. After all, if something didn't quite fit right, a simple altering charm could be used. But as Draco explained to him, "it is simply a crime to alter fine designer clothing." Though Harry discovered there were some exceptions to even this rule, Draco was adamant about the process of trying everything on.

"Those trousers make your ass look good. You should get them."

"You've said that about the last three sets. I can't spend my entire salary on jeans."

"Why not? I know you have enough money."

"I have children to support, in case you forgot."

"Did she demand all your money when you divorced?"

"She didn't demand anything. My kids, on the other hand, demand plenty."

Ginny had been asked in recent years to write up Quidditch-related articles for the _Daily Prophet_ and after the divorce the job became full time. That gave her enough money to live on and Harry paid for many of the children's needs, including school things and clothes. He frequently asked if she needed more, even though he knew what her answer would be. He still deposited extra money into her vault anyway.

"Astoria took half of everything. Except my house and my son. She got both of those outright."

"You have visits with him though, right?"

"When she is in the mood to indulge me, yes."

"That's hardly fair."

"Life isn't fair, Potter. Now go try on the next outfit." He tossed a gray shirt at Harry and waved him off toward the changing room.

Harry complied. Shopping with Draco really wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. He couldn't say that he enjoyed trying on so many clothes, but he liked having some company for the afternoon.

Draco had become somewhat more nonchalant with age. Nothing really surprised him. In fact, he didn't seem to care about much of anything. Nearly everything he did seemed like he was just filling time, waiting for something else. Even when they spoke of things that he did care about- money, fashion, men- Draco approached it all with an air of only mild interest. As if everything just bored him. He had grown up and kept just the right amount of sarcasm to make him fun and interesting, but he had lost something else in the process. Back in school when Malfoy was a jerk he was alive, he had fun being the jerk. He was evil at times, but there was a sparkle of mischief his eye. It was absent now.

"How's this?"

Draco looked up when Harry stepped out of the changing booth and smiled. "Finally, you're starting to look gay."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I didn't know there was a certain look I had to have."

"There is if you're doing it right." A sly smirk made its way over Draco's features. "Speaking of 'doing it right,' have you given any thought to making that final step? Leave your virginity behind?"

"Once more, I'm not a virgin."

"I thought you'd like some advice."

"On clothes, fine. Sex? No."

"I'm a walking encyclopedia on anything you need to know about gay sex. It would be foolish of you to not take advantage."

"Sorry, Malfoy. When it comes to matters of my penis, I really don't want to talk to you."

Draco seemed disappointed, but let the matter go. He turned to stare at himself in the mirror for probably the millionth time. This time he was straightening a bit of hair that was out of place on his forehead and suddenly it hit Harry. _That's_ what was bothering him about Draco's hair the night before.

"You were using hair growth potion!" Draco's head whipped around at him, alarmed. "I knew there was something. You said you looked younger and I remember when I saw you last year thinking that you were losing your hair a little."

"Potter, a Malfoy does not lose his hair."

"Well not all of it of course, but it was thinning out."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Harry laughed. "Come on. It's not like we don't all deal with it eventually—"

"Potter. This afternoon has been rather pleasant so far. If you wish to keep it that way, think long and hard about your next words."

Harry grinned, but only nodded and disappeared back into the dressing room.

The following day Harry had arranged to take his children for the weekend and he headed over to Ginny's place early to pick them up.

"Anyone home?" Harry called, walking into the house he had called home. There was never any question in his mind that Ginny would keep the house and he didn't have a problem giving it up. It was where his children grew up and he believed they should stay there. Now he was a visitor, but one that was always to feel at home.

He found Ginny in the kitchen standing over the stack of dirty dishes. She was a good housekeeper generally, but she had those weeks when the chores went forgotten in favor of activities with the kids, often playing Quidditch in the back yard. Judging by the number of dishes and the basket of laundry near the table, this had been one of those weeks.

"Where are the kids?"

"With Rose and Hugo. I wasn't expecting you here for them until six."

"I finished early at work. Teddy is coming over tonight to eat with us, but I can come back if you want."

She turned around, drying her hands on a towel. "No, stay. We haven't talked in a while. I miss it."

He agreed somewhat hesitantly. He knew Ginny well enough to know when she had a hidden agenda. They hadn't had too many really deep talks since he moved out unless it had to do with the kids. But today he knew that there was something else on her mind. She got them each a cold drink and they sat across from each other at the kitchen table.

"How is Teddy doing?"

"Great. His instructors are always telling me how impressed they are."

Teddy had nearly completed his second year of Auror training, following in his mother's and godfather's footsteps.

"I guess it's in his blood. And your influence helped, I'm sure."

"Kingsley tells me that Teddy is probably even better than Tonks, since he inherited his coordination from Remus. I haven't worked with him much yet, but everyone I know loves him."

"You can't help but love Teddy. I heard he and Victoire are getting very serious."

Harry nodded. He was the closest thing to a father Teddy had ever known and often helped the boy with all of his personal dilemmas. The most common one lately was the eldest Weasley child. He had been falling for her for a couple years now. But Harry had known that before Teddy even recognized that he was in love with her. Now that she was done with Hogwarts they had only gotten closer.

"How are you, Harry?"

"Okay. You?"

"Fine. Why are we so awkward? We didn't used to be that way."

"Out of practice, I guess. Every time I'm here it's just to get the kids."

"I miss you."

"Gin…"

She held up her hands. "No, this isn't about the marriage. I'm not saying I want you back. The divorce is final and I'm dealing with it. I just… miss you. I miss having you there to talk to."

"I… wasn't sure we could be friends still."

"I'd certainly like it. Ron and Hermione have been asking about you."

"I see Ron every day. Why wouldn't he ask me himself?"

"I suppose they think that I should know more. And I wish I did. How are you _really_? Are you… seeing anyone?"

"No, I'm not."

"Are you figuring anything out?"

"You know, I think I'm starting to."

"Anything you want to share?" He was silent. "Come on. I'm the woman you divorced for this and you can't tell me?"

"Gin, I just can't really talk about it yet."

"You don't talk to me or Ron or Hermione. Can you at least reassure me that you have _someone_ to talk to? I worry about you."

"Yes, I am talking to someone."

"But you can't tell me and your oldest, closest friends."

"Not this time."

"You're infuriating." She crossed her arms, trying to look angry, but it didn't entirely work.

"I know. Aren't you glad you got rid of me now?"

"Well, even if you won't talk to me, I do have something to tell you. I have sort of started to see someone. The kids don't know yet. I didn't want to throw too much at them so soon after the divorce."

"Anyone I know?"

Ginny bit her lip in a rare display of nerves. "Well, yes. I wanted you to know first and I hope it won't be too weird for you. It's Dean Thomas."

Harry was speechless for at least a full minute. He wasn't really sure how to proceed. On one hand, it was strange to think of Ginny with anyone else and it took a few moments just to process this feeling that was almost like jealousy. On the other hand, something about it actually made sense. She and Dean had been close at school and Harry knew for a fact that Dean continued to care for her long after they'd broken up. It was almost as if it was somehow meant to be.

"I'm sorry, I know it's bizarre. And I certainly wasn't expecting it. But he just moved back to England. You know, last anyone heard from him he was traveling a lot for the Nimbus company. He had been running their offices in America most recently. I just ran into him in Diagon Alley the week after he came back and… Well, we just sort of started seeing each other."

"I'm glad it's Dean," Harry said at last and actually felt as if he meant it. "At least I know he's a good man. I know that if you keep seeing him and tell the kids that he will be good to them."

"You're not weirded out at all?"

Harry thought about it. In truth there was a small part of it that was weird. This was Dean after all. Dating Harry's wife. Ex-wife. It was a little odd. But was it any stranger than what was going on in Harry's life? If he actually told Ginny what he'd been up to lately, wouldn't she be the one who was weirded out? How strange would it be to tell Ginny all about going to gay clubs and shopping in muggle London with Malfoy? Would she freak out? Would she tell her family? Would she cry? That was what Harry was most afraid of. He couldn't bear the thought of any of his life hurting her at all.

"I'm not weirded out, Gin. I'm happy for you."

"You sure you don't need to talk about anything?"

"When I figure out what it is I need to talk about you will be the first to know."

She smiled and patted his hand on the table top. "I'd better be."


	4. Blake

**A/N: Rather short chapter this time. It was longer, but it ended up getting cut to pieces and merged with the next chapter. BTW, I have now officially graduated from college! :) Still a couple weeks before I start work, so we'll see how many chapters I can finish.**

**Chapter Four - Blake**

It occurred to Harry every now and then that he should really be appalled by his strange pseudo-friendship with Draco Malfoy. Instinct and twenty-seven years of experience told him not to trust Malfoy under any circumstances. And yet, Harry found it somewhat comforting to not be completely alone in his new life. He couldn't experiment in the wizarding world because he was too famous, but he wasn't really all that comfortable with muggles anymore. Sure, he could get by living among them, but it was exhausting trying to juggle that world with his own. Malfoy was the only person who was part of both.

That in itself was interesting. How did Draco Malfoy come to be so at ease among a race of people who he had once professed to hate? Draco had made some excuses about not wanting the wizarding papers to have another reason to go after him, but Harry didn't really buy that. He couldn't have hated muggles that much and still want to be around them and sleep with them. He had never seen these deeper layers to Malfoy. There had always been arrogance and cowardice, but nothing truly substantial. This layer that Harry was seeing now was intriguing and he wanted to see what was underneath. There was no getting around it; they were in this together, clinging to each other like life rafts out on the open sea.

Then again, Harry thought, the open sea seemed so much more volatile than this current situation. Cruising guys in a bar was hardly so dangerous. No life raft needed. When the men looked like _that_ Harry was quite sure that he didn't want to be rescued.

"Look over there." Draco gestured toward the door where a tall blond man stood, obviously checking them out. "What do you think of him?"

Harry looked. And looked long enough that he almost didn't remember to answer Malfoy.

"Oh, he's… he's hot."

_Hot_ was an understatement. He was average height, muscular build, short-cut sandy blond hair, crystal blue eyes that sparkled like two diamonds in the low light. He smiled, showing off brilliantly white teeth and dimples that made him damn near perfect. No way a guy like that would be interested in Harry.

"You should go talk to him."

"And say what?"

"Ask if he wants to fuck."

"I can't do that!"

Draco rolled his eyes. Thing about Draco Malfoy was that he was comfortable in nearly any situation and he was most at ease when he could be as blunt as he wanted to be. Asking a total stranger to fuck didn't even register on his weirdness scale. And he had a hard time remembering that not everyone could operate that way. He had a way of reading people, Harry had discovered, so he knew that when he asked such a bold question he was not likely going to be turned down. And, the rare occasion that he was turned down, it didn't seem to bother him at all. He would just shrug, usually after informing the young man just what he was missing out on, and continue on his way. Harry really did have to admire him for that.

"Well what boring thing did you say to pick up women? It's not quite the same thing, but it's a starting point."

"I didn't pick up women. I hated trying to ask girls out and I've been married for fifteen years, so it's not like I've had any recent practice."

Draco set his drink down, pursed his lips and stared. The longer this went on the narrower his eyes got, making Harry even more uncomfortable. He was doing the mind reading thing again.

"What, Malfoy?"

"She's the only person you've ever been with, isn't she?"

He knew from Harry's blush that he was right. Harry wondered when Malfoy had gotten so good at reading him.

"Merlin. What the fuck have I gotten into? It's bad enough you don't know anything about picking up men, but you have almost no experience whatsoever."

"Yes, okay? I've been with Ginny since school. I only kissed one other girl ever. But when you find the person you think you're going to be with forever then what are you supposed to do? Just say 'wait for me for a while so I can go fuck all of London before I settle down'?"

"It works for me."

"Of course it does. You're the town slut. You can't tell me that if you'd settled down when I did that you wouldn't be this 'inexperienced' as well?"

"No, I wouldn't," Malfoy smiled smugly. "Because by the time you finally figured out that your best friend's sister had the world's most embarrassing crush on you, I had already had at least three lovers."

"First of all, I find it disturbing that you were paying attention to when Ginny and I starting dating. Secondly, who did you go to bed with at school?"

"Pansy…"

"Of course," Harry mumbled under his breath.

"That was off and on throughout fourth and fifth year. Then Astoria actually was my second lover. We weren't a couple then. Sixth year she decided I was interesting. Maybe she wanted to fix me… Merlin knows I was fucked up enough then. I only saw her a couple times, but when she came around later I figured if I had to marry a woman, I may as well pick her."

Harry nodded. "That was only two, Malfoy. You said at least three."

Suddenly Draco grinned. "I don't know if I should even tell you the third one. You won't believe me."

"Try me."

"Justin Finch-Fletchley."

"No!" Draco just sat with a smug smile as Harry struggled mentally to comprehend it. "He was a Hufflepuff."

Draco rolled his eyes again. "Yes, I'm aware of that. You think just because I'm a Slytherin I wouldn't date someone beneath me?"

"Well… yes. And he was a muggleborn. I mean, I know you don't mind them now, but back then… It's just a surprise."

Draco nodded, staring into his drink. All traces of amusement disappeared.

"So… when? I mean, I thought Justin always hated you. Most people hated you."

"Sixth year. Do you remember him and your little band of rebels hexing Crabbe, Goyle and me on the train? When we came back to school the next fall he got ballsy enough to taunt me about it. I was stressed out and didn't have time to deal with it, so I didn't engage. Well, when I didn't attempt to fight back he knew something was up and started keeping an eye on me. Not as much as you did that year, but I noticed him around, looking like he wanted to hex me just because I must have been up to no good. And then one day he didn't want to hex me anymore." He smiled slightly, but it was sad. He still stared into his drink, but not really looking at anything. It was like all the walls around Draco had come down suddenly and Harry got another glimpse of another layer he hadn't known about. He continued without looking away from his glass. "I don't really know how it changed. One night I heard someone following me and I actually thought it was you, so I turned around, ready to start fighting but it was him and we argued and then… well, you can guess what happened. We started meeting up after that." Draco sighed. "And then the school year ended abruptly because of me and everything changed after that."

"Justin was one of the muggleborns rounded up that summer," Harry remembered quietly. "They said he never even made it to Azkaban."

"No. He was killed within days of the Ministry takeover. He hadn't even made a run for it yet. Taken just outside his home." Malfoy took another swig of his beer and for just a moment Harry thought he saw some moisture in the other man's eyes. Then it was gone and the subject was dropped. "We're not here to talk about everything that went wrong in our lives, right? The point is that I am infinitely more experienced and you are… not."

Harry knew better than to push Malfoy on this and he tried to get back into their previous conversation. "Do you think Ginny and I were celibate for the past twenty years or something?"

"Try as I might, I can't picture you and her doing anything remotely exciting."

"You might be surprised."

"Well, then Boy Who Lived, do tell."

Harry frowned at the nickname, but blushed at the thought of revealing private information to Malfoy.

"Come now. You can't possibly shock me. Whatever it is I know I've done worse… or better, depending on how you look at it."

"We liked to… you know. _Experiment_."

"With…?"

"Toys." He then made a series of complicated gestures with his eyebrows, attempting to convey Merlin-knows-what, but Draco came up with a suitable translation.

"You stuck a dildo up your ass?"

Harry's cheeks quickly went from zero to crimson. There was Malfoy's talent for stating things as bluntly as possible again.

"I'm impressed. Anything else? Please stop now if it in any way involves wild threesomes with Granger. I may not be able to keep my dinner down."

"Gross."

"Great, we agree on something."

"No threesomes. But we liked to try new positions."

"Congratulations Potter, you are officially _not_ boring. But you're still not actually interesting. Now," he looked around to see that the man was still standing in his place by the door, "go pick up a hot guy."

"I don't know how."

"Jesus Christ." He stood up and gave Harry a strict order: "Observe."

It seemed so easy for Malfoy. He was such a natural when it came to any kind of social interaction though and he always had been. Wasn't that just part of how he was raised? Lucius would have made sure his son was as smooth as he was. And Harry knew from experience that Draco generally kept his cool in most social situations. It was Harry alone who could fluster Draco most easily at school. Harry wondered if that had changed.

The stranger was easily seduced by Draco's words. Harry shook his head. This whole thing would be a lot easier if he could hear what Draco was saying to the man. What kinds of lines was he using to mesmerize him?

A second later Harry almost spit his drink out when Draco pointed to him in the middle of his conversation. The man looked and smiled broadly when he spotted Harry. He gave a little wave that Harry returned and turned back to Draco. Whatever Draco said must have worked because moments after the wave the man was following Draco to where Harry was standing.

"See? That wasn't so hard."

The man was still smiling at Harry.

"Hi, I'm Blake."

"Hello. I'm Harry."

Draco interjected then. "Well, you two have so much to talk about. I'm sure you have loads in common."

"We do?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Sure. For starters, you're both gay. Talk about that for all I care." Before he walked away he leaned in closer to Harry's ear and whispered, "Don't fuck this up, Potter. I'd have kept him for myself if I wasn't looking out for you."

"Right." And with that Draco was gone. Harry looked back at Blake. "I'm sorry, I'm perpetually socially awkward."

Blake laughed at the confession. "It's okay. I'm not so great myself. That's why I've been standing over there for the past half hour."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Draco is trying to force me into the social world, but it's been a long time, I'm afraid."

"This is my first time here. I just moved to London, don't know anyone."

From there they discussed Blake's new career. He had just finished his degree in international law and started work that week at a law firm in the city. Harry quickly found that Blake was funny and smart and knew just what to say. He was flirty, but not overwhelmingly so. In some ways he reminded Harry of Draco. It was familiar and comforting and Harry was soon dazzled by Blake.

But eventually, inevitably, the conversation shifted onto Harry. This was the part he wasn't prepared for. How could he describe himself and his complicated life? To Blake, everything that Harry was, everything that he fought against daily, didn't exist.

"So did you just get out of a relationship? You said you don't go out much."

Harry hesitated. If only it was just as complicated as that. "Er, actually… I was married. For a long time. I have kids and everything."

"You were married? To a woman?"

Ah, yes, that would need some further explanation. Harry forgot that the muggle world had begun allowing same-sex partnerships years ago. The wizarding world hadn't even really begun to tackle that particular issue.

"Yeah. I guess I'm a little weird, huh?"

"No. I know guys in their fifties who are just coming out. Had the whole perfect family ideal and just couldn't lie to themselves anymore."

Harry couldn't entirely relate to that. After all, he was quite happy with Ginny and didn't feel as if he'd been lying at all until the past few years. And even then he wasn't sure what the lie was right away. Figuring it all out, having the choice to explore his feelings, was freeing, but he had never really known that he wasn't free already.

"You reckon there's a lot of men who have this problem?"

"Well, I suppose most of them are coming out a lot younger now days, but yeah. It's not uncommon."

"I feel like the only one."

"So your family, your ex, don't know?" Harry shook his head. "That's always rough. My mum nearly died when I told her that her only son liked other boys, but she eventually got over it. If they care they get over it."

Harry smiled awkwardly. He had expected his baggage to send most guys running the opposite direction. And it wasn't something that he intended to tell a man just minutes after meeting him for the first time, but it just sort of came out.

"So… what do you do, Harry?"

Now that was a tricky one. In all the years that Harry worked as an Auror he rarely encountered any muggles in a strictly social setting. He'd never had to fabricate a profession at the spur of the moment like this.

"Police officer." It seemed close enough to his real job to make it work. They talked for another half hour and at one point Harry noticed Draco watching from the corner. It was comforting that Draco hadn't simply abandoned him; he was on hand if Harry needed help. Of course Harry couldn't imagine a scenario in which he would actually call Draco over to rescue him. After all, just making small talk wasn't so difficult. And, if he were honest, he was having a very good time.

Blake was in the middle of a story about his first client at his new job when he caught a glimpse at the clock.

"Oh, shit. I wasn't planning on staying out like this. I'm sorry, I really do have to go." He paused, seeming genuinely apologetic. "I only came out here to get a feel for the place. I always do that in a new city. I didn't plan on actually meeting someone interesting. Do you think I could get your number or something?"

Harry thought about it. He lived in a muggle neighborhood, but he didn't have a phone installed, nor had he bothered to get a mobile phone yet. "No number, but I'll be here again tomorrow night. If you're here too then I'll buy you a drink."

Blake positively beamed at him. "It's a deal, Harry."

Harry's eyes followed Blake to the door and when he turned around again Draco had already claimed the bar stool next to him.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"He left? You just bat your eyes at the man and let him walk out?"

"I'm seeing him again tomorrow."

"Are you going to take him home with you then?"

"I don't know. It's too early to tell."

Draco rolled his eyes. "No, it's not."

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "It is for me."

"You're nervous."

"Of course I am. Weren't you the first time?"

"Maybe." Malfoy retreated briefly into another place and time, remembering. "But that was a long time ago."

"Thank you. I really don't know why you decided to help me out, but just… thank you."

"Anything for Harry Potter," Malfoy said sarcastically. "I feel _so_ honored to have witnessed your very first step toward becoming a fully independent gay man."

"I mean it. I feel like after all this time and all the hate between us, you and I can finally put the past behind us."

"Doubtful, Potter. You think just because we're both gay that means we somehow have anything of importance in common?"

"We have a lot in common. Age, school," Harry lowered his voice, "magic. And, yeah, being gay."

"Right up until you get to the part where you drive me fucking crazy."

"I can't drive you that crazy or you wouldn't still be helping me." Harry smiled when Draco didn't have a response to that. "Well, I have to get going."

"What is it with everyone tonight? It's only nine!"

"Some of us have jobs. I have to get everything done before this weekend because my kids are going to be over. They'll be going back to school soon, so…"

Draco nodded as Harry stood and paid his tab. On his way out the door Harry glanced back at Draco. He didn't like seeing the other man just sitting there alone. He wasn't really sure what to do about it or why it bothered him so much. He knew that when he was gone Malfoy would finish his drink and start searching for some kind of company for the evening. After all, he'd been doing this since long before Harry was in the picture. Maybe it was the fact that Draco had confessed a major secret to him about his past, or maybe it was just Harry's need to save people, but for just a moment he really didn't want to leave.


	5. Secrets, Lies and Muggles

**A/N: Hello all! Longer chapter this time. Sorry about the long wait. I just need to say one thing. I was slightly horrified by the pictures of the Deathly Hallows epilogue filming last week! They look sooo old. Did the filmmakers even read the book? It's only 19 years later, not 40. The trio and Draco should only be 37 years old, yet they look like they're in their 50's! I can only hope that it looks better in the film than it does in the pictures released last week.**

**Chapter Five – Secrets, Lies and Muggles**

Harry didn't see Draco around the next day. As planned, he met Blake at the pub, but Blake insisted they go someplace quieter where they could actually talk and Harry agreed. He really liked Blake immediately. He was easy to talk to and nothing seemed to really surprise or bother him. Even when Harry managed to open up a little more about his recent divorce.

"So… how old are you?" Blake asked. "I mean you said it was a long marriage and there are kids."

Harry laughed, remembering what Draco had said about age. "Older than I look."

"You can't be older than twenty-five."

"Older than I look," he repeated with a smile. Maybe he did look young to muggles, but he knew damn well that twenty-five was generous. He'd noticed the way his skin crinkled just a little near his eyes when he smiled, giving away at least part of his secret.

Blake seemed skeptical, but didn't make Harry elaborate. They continued to talk about Blake's job, family, hobbies. Harry kept his answers to those subjects extremely vague. It was a bit tricky with the muggle-wizard translations. He said his children were getting ready to return to boarding school, just praying that Blake didn't ask which school they went to. He didn't know many of the muggle schools and would have a hard time faking it. And when it came to Ginny, of course she played football, not quidditch. He worried that he would slip up and say something wrong, but managed to make it through the evening without a major mistake.

Blake was a great listener. He was attentive and kind and Harry found himself getting lost in his gorgeous eyes. Blake had a way of touching when he talked. It wasn't too obvious, but he would brush against Harry almost accidentally, or put a hand on his shoulder. Not too many people could be so subtle about it, but Blake was. And Harry found himself moving closer to Blake throughout the night.

As it turned out, Blake lived only a few blocks from the café where they had been talking, so Harry offered to walk him home. Truthfully he just didn't want the night to end so soon. It was odd that he went for the first bloke that Draco sent his way, but they were really hitting it off. Or maybe Harry was really just that lonely. The walk to Blake's flat was entirely too short and they stopped in front of the steps to his building.

"I had a good time tonight," Blake said.

"Me too," said Harry with a small smile. He'd been mentally preparing himself for this. He took a step toward Blake and brought a hand up to cup his face before leaning in to kiss him. It was different from kissing Ginny, but sort of similar at the same time. The art of kissing really hadn't changed at all, but Blake's lips weren't quite as soft and his hands were in the wrong places. Ginny always put her arms around his neck. Blake's hands were larger and he held Harry firmly with one hand on the back of his neck and another on his hip, pulling him in. How could Harry not have known all those years that he wanted this? Blake seemed to be just waiting for permission because as soon as their lips met, he was deepening the kiss, claiming Harry for his own. Eventually Harry pulled away gently, out of breath.

Blake smiled at him. "I know this might be a little soon, but… I'd really like it if you came inside."

"Really?"

"Definitely."

Harry glanced up at the building. Truthfully, his mind was already made up. It had been made up hours ago. But that didn't stop the nervous energy buzzing around his stomach like butterflies. Finally he nodded. "I'd like that."

Harry was considerably happier for the next few weeks. He was smiling a lot and even whistling at times. Everyone had noticed. The entire Auror department had been gossiping about what their boss's good mood could mean. It wasn't that Harry was known for being a tyrant, but no one had ever seen him so cheerful. In the years since he had been made Head Auror, he had been agreeable and fair, but never overly friendly. Now the Aurors were seeing a side of him that no one had seen in a long time. If ever. The situation was serious enough that Teddy held a secret conference with Ron to figure out what was going on and, since neither of them had any ideas, they invited themselves over to Harry's office at lunchtime on Friday.

Harry knew an ambush when he saw one. Ron usually went to lunch with some of the guys in his squad and Teddy was still dressed in his navy blue robes signifying his status as a trainee and they both wore very stern expressions. Some of the seriousness of it was softened by the fact that Teddy wore his hair in a wild purple shade, but Harry knew they meant business. So he put his quill down and pushed away from his desk, waiting for the reveal. Ron started.

"So what's going on, mate?"

"What's going on with what?" Harry asked.

Teddy rolled his eyes. "You're obviously happy about something."

"No more than usual."

Teddy tilted his head to the side and then turned to Ron. "I don't know about that. You?"

"I don't believe him."

"He's been so- what's the word- _unavailable_ lately, hasn't he?"

"He won't go for drinks with me," Ron confirmed.

"And that's all after weeks of sporadic availability and moping."

Harry put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, guys, I get it."

They ignored him and Teddy plowed on. "Now he's walking around here grinning like he just won the Quidditch Cup."

"Yes, Teddy, my boy. I think our Harry is hiding something."

"He must be, Ron. But what would he want to hide from his oldest friend and his own godson?"

"Are you two finished?"

"Are you going to confess?" asked Teddy.

"I have nothing to confess to."

"Then no, we're not finished. Whoever you're seeing, tell her that we get visitation rights with you too."

"I'm not seeing anyone. I'm going out, dating, but I'm not serious about anyone."

"No, of course not," said Teddy. "Anyone who makes you smile all day long and whistle through the hallways at work is certainly not someone to get serious about."

Harry blushed. Had he been that giddy? He didn't really think so, but then who was he to judge what other people saw in him? He certainly was having fun with Blake, but it wasn't really about him specifically. After months of celibacy just about any sex was good. And sex with a man was… more amazing than Harry had imagined. If he'd been in an extra good mood then that would explain it. But he wasn't ready to tell Ron and Teddy about that yet.

Teddy must have noticed his hesitance and his tone got much more serious. "Look, if you can't talk about it, then don't, but we are happy that you're happy. We just wish we knew why we're all happy."

"Thanks," Harry said quietly.

Teddy glanced down at his wristwatch. "I have to get back. They work us trainees like house elves, you know."

Harry and Ron watched him leave and Ron took the seat across from Harry's desk.

"I know from experience that it's never a good sign when you start keeping secrets. And I know there's a secret because I haven't seen you this happy in…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "It's been a while, Harry. Years, even."

"Yeah, I guess I have been. The thing is, I didn't know that I was ever unhappy. I didn't… It's not like I felt miserable this whole time. I loved Ginny. I still do."

Ron began fidgeting. This was about the edge of what he was comfortable with in terms of talking about his sister's failed marriage. Harry had to hand it to him, he had done a remarkable job so far in separating his friendship from his duties as an older brother. They'd both managed to not let it affect their relationship too much.

"Look, I felt like I was happy and I don't regret our marriage. But now it's like I've found another version of happiness that I didn't know about. Does that make any sense?"

Ron nodded. "So you have started dating?"

Harry hesitated. He wasn't ready to tell the truth, but it would be pointless to lie about the whole thing.

"I have and I suppose that's part of it. But it's very casual."

"So I don't get to meet her?"

"Er… no. It's complicated."

Ron leaned back in his chair, appraising Harry.

"Muggle."

"Excuse me?"

"You're dating a muggle and she doesn't know about you being a wizard."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. That was the truth and it was also a complication to the Blake situation that he could actually talk to Ron about. It was the pronouns that got tricky. "No. Like I said, it's not serious."

"But she is a muggle. See, why don't you ever take me out to muggle places? We could have fun picking up women."

Harry's eyebrows shot up. "Picking up women?"

"Well you would be picking them up. I would just be advising you on which ones to pursue. And what Hermione doesn't know won't hurt her."

"Won't hurt _you_, you mean."

"That also."

"I need to do this on my own."

Ron nodded in acceptance and changed the subject. "So you have Lily this weekend?"

"Yeah."

"Will she be meeting your mystery woman?"

"Definitely not. This weekend is just for Lily. She's been so lonely since the boys went back to school I thought I'd take her flying. She's obsessed with Quidditch these days and jealous that Al is trying out for the house team. You want to bring Hugo and we'll all go?"

"You should bring her over to our place. We've got all that land and Hermione was going to spend half of Saturday in her office anyway. She's working on some big case."

"Good. Just us and the kids. It makes us sound very grown up… almost responsible even."

Ron grinned. "I know. Think we can get away with _that_ charade much longer?"

In the weeks since discovering that he really liked men, Harry had gotten so much more comfortable going out without Draco there to guide him. There were a few places he frequented, mostly the ones Draco had introduced him to. Club Gemini was fun if he wanted to dance, which wasn't often, but if he wanted to just sit and have a drink, he preferred the low key, relatively quiet bar that he had visited that first time on his own. The atmosphere was comfortable and the people were fun, but privately Harry had chosen it for its name: The Stag. In the long list of gay bars and clubs, that one seemed somehow familiar, judging just by its name, and Harry was glad that it had become his favorite.

"Malfoy! Over here!"

Draco turned toward the person yelling his name, completely unimpressed and bored, but headed in that direction anyway. He ordered a scotch and sat down next to Harry.

"Fancy seeing you here. Where is that bloke whose face you've been devouring every time I see you?"

"Blake is working late tonight. And when have you seen us? I haven't noticed you here in weeks."

"You'd notice a lot more if you'd come up for air now and then. I take it things are going well with the muggle?"

Harry shrugged casually, but grinned. Draco studied his face for a few minutes and finally gave a smile. "You fucked him." Harry's grin became impossibly wider. "Congratulations. You're now a gay man. My work here is done."

He started to leave, but Harry grabbed his shoulder. "You should stay. Remember, I shouldn't drink alone. What was it that was supposed to do to my reputation?"

"Make you look like a lush. Though maybe that will improve your chances of getting laid. Some people like easy targets."

"I'm not looking for that tonight."

"Whyever not?"

"I'm just here for a drink. And I was hoping I'd run into you."

"I thought I made it clear that we are not, nor have ever been, friends."

"You did. But you neglected to mention any future considerations, so there's still hope."

"Not anymore. Go away."

"Not a chance. I want to buy you another drink."

"You're not my type, Potter."

"Liar." Harry grinned and took another drink. Draco was looking him over suspiciously as he pulled out a cigarette.

"Why are you so intent on being my friend suddenly?"

Harry shrugged. "You're the only person I know who knows about this part of my life. And I assume I'm the only one who knows about you? Aside from Astoria and the gardener."

Draco frowned. "Aside from all the rumors and people making guesses, yes, that's about right. But that doesn't mean that we should or even _could_ be friends."

"No, but it gives us a starting point. Maybe we could have been all along if things had gone differently in school."

"You mean if Weasley hadn't gotten to you first?"

"I mean, if you weren't a complete prick. I thought that before I ever met Ron. I didn't like you that first day in Madame Maulkin's because you were a spoiled, obnoxious prat and you'd made fun of Hagrid."

Draco scrunched up his face. "You have to admit, he's rather… primitive."

"Yes, but _you_ have to understand that Hagrid had just rescued me from my aunt and uncle's house. Before that I didn't know anything about magic and I'd been lied to my whole life about who I was and what happened to my parents."

"Oh."

"He and Ron were my first real friends. You just… seemed like you had an agenda."

"I did. Can you blame me? You may not have known anything about how famous you were, but everyone else wanted to be on your good side. Weasley was the only one too stupid to have an agenda."

"It was a long time ago. And I don't think you were ever really as evil as I wanted to believe you were. I mean, calling Hermione mudblood wasn't nice, but kids aren't nice. And since you apparently aren't as anti-muggleborn as you used to say…"

"Don't go drawing any conclusions based on my fling with Finch-Fletchley."

"You obviously can't hate them that much."

"Potter, don't go there."

"And you regularly sleep with muggles now."

"Maybe that has more to do with my reputation among wizards than actually enjoying the company of muggles."

"Then why haven't you made a move on me yet? If you're so desperate to not be with filthy muggles then you would have jumped me the first chance you got."

Draco stared at Harry for a moment before knocking back another drink. "What makes you think that I want you?"

Harry laughed. "Regardless of what you think, I'm not an idiot."

Draco's eyes narrowed as he cocked his head to the side. "Does this mean you're admitting that _you _want_ me_?"

"No," Harry said quickly. Too quickly.

"Then why bring it up?"

"I… just wanted to hear you admit it."

"You're a bad liar, Potter."

They both were. Harry quickly occupied himself taking another drink, actively _not_ thinking about any amount of attraction he might feel toward Draco. It was true that what Harry felt for him wasn't entirely friendship, but he hadn't really thought about it specifically. Their flirtations were always superficial, but Harry always felt like there was something more real going on under the surface. Neither one of them was going to be the first to actually acknowledge it though.

Things with Blake went well for a couple more weeks into the middle of October. Harry liked him a lot, but he hadn't counted on it being so difficult to live in both the magical and muggle worlds at the same time. He was certainly not serious enough about Blake to tell him the truth but the secrecy strained things between them. Harry explained that his family didn't know about his sexuality and he wasn't ready to tell them anything and that explained why he never introduced Blake to friends. Blake made jokes at first about being Harry's dirty little secret, but then he came to realize just how true that was. Harry always went to Blake's place and anytime Blake mentioned wanting to see Harry's flat he was met with excuses. There were too many moving pictures, copies of the _Daily Prophet _and quidditch gear laying around his place. Deep down Harry knew that if he wanted to badly enough he could hide any evidence of wizards and magic, but it seemed a convenient way to not let Blake get too close. He really did like the younger man. And the sex was amazing. But it wasn't quite enough.

It had been more than a week since he had last seen Malfoy around, though Harry did look for him when he was out at the bar. On one fairly boring Friday night, when it was beginning to become clear that their relationship wasn't going anywhere, Harry and Blake decided to go out. As they were seated at the bar discussing their workdays, Malfoy seemed to materialize out of nowhere at Harry's side.

"Potter! How lovely to see you!"

Draco threw an arm around Harry and leaned into him. Harry nearly lost balance on his bar stool both from the sudden weight on him and the overwhelming stench of scotch exuding from the blond man.

"Malfoy, what the hell?"

"I was wondering if you would be so kind as to buy me a drink."

To say that he had already had enough would have been a gross understatement. Harry had never seen him so drunk. He looked over at Blake.

"This is Draco."

"Your friend from the night we met. I remember."

"We've known each other for a long time. Went to school together." He looked back down at Draco, whose head was now resting on Harry's chest. "At least this is some version of him."

"He doesn't look so good. Does he have someone to take him home?"

"Do you, Malfoy? Who are you here with?"

"With? Who am I…?" He started laughing. "No one. I'm with no one. No one is with me. 'Cept you maybe."

"What are you on? This isn't just the scotch. Did you take drugs?"

"Maybe a little… somefing."

"_Somefing_? Okay, you're going home now." He turned back to Blake. "I'm really sorry. I can meet you at your place later, after I make sure he's not going to die in the gutter somewhere."

"Should let me… die… Potter," Draco muttered.

"It's okay," said Blake. "I wouldn't leave a friend in that condition either."

"Um, could you make sure he doesn't wander off? I'm just going to the loo and then I'll get him out of here."

Blake agreed. As much as he wasn't thrilled with Harry lately, he couldn't fault him on this. In fact, he would have thought far less of Harry if he didn't want to help the man get home. They all ended up in this sort of situation at some point and friends should always look out for each other.

Harry carefully shifted Malfoy from his own shoulder onto the bar surface before excusing himself. Blake glanced at Malfoy, but continued sipping his drink.

"You're really a good-looking bloke, you know?"

Blake looked down at him. His cheek was resting on the bar, arms hanging down by his sides limply. His eyes were bloodshot. Blake had seen him before at different bars and clubs. He always looked so composed and confident. Now he just seemed like any other drunk.

"Are you hitting on me? I thought you were Harry's friend."

Malfoy breathed out a laugh. "We're not friends." Even in his drunken state he registered Blake's doubt and chose to enlighten him. "I tried to kill him once."

"You… tried to kill him?"

"At least once. 'S hard to remember. Long time ago."

"So why is he helping you home?"

"Old habit. He can't stop saving people. Been doing it since he was eleven."

"He doesn't really talk about the past. Or anything personal really. Only that he was married, has kids and his parents died when he was young."

"Trust me, Brian… or Ben… whoever the fuck you are… there are some skeletons that should stay in the cupboard."

Now Blake frowned. "Is there something worse than you trying to kill him?"

Draco sat upright again. "There's only one thing you need to know about Harry James Potter. He will never intentionally hurt you." He paused significantly for dramatic effect. "Unintentionally, he could be the worst thing that's ever happened to you."

"Why?"

Draco sighed. "Because you will always want more of him, but he will never be able to give it to you. There are parts of him that were lost long ago."

Harry came back from the bathroom then, completely unaware of the conversation of which he was the subject. Blake was still staring at Draco, knowing that he was correct. He didn't know how this man knew Harry so well, but he had somehow managed to put into words everything that Blake was beginning to feel about Harry.

"I'll meet you at your place in an hour?"

"No," said Blake quietly. Something had changed in the past few moments. Blake's mood was a bit colder than it had been, but Harry didn't have time to stop and find out why. "I think I'll just go to bed early. It's been a long week."

"I'll call you tomorrow then." Harry gave him a quick kiss and then focused on getting Malfoy out the door without falling.

"Right, now where do you live?"

"You don't have to take me home. I can go."

Harry took his arm and led the way. "So you can splinch yourself? I don't think so."

"You don't have to rescue me."

"Well I want to. Where do you live?"

"Four blocks that way," he replied, pointing in a general direction. After a few minutes of prodding Harry was able to get him to give up the actual address. It took another half hour, but Harry finally managed to stumble into Malfoy's flat.

"Get me to my room, Potter."

Harry did as instructed and let Malfoy collapse onto his bed with his coat still on. Harry looked down on him doubtfully.

"You going to be okay?"

"No."

"Whatever possessed you to get this wasted?"

"I felt like it." He rolled over so that he was looking up at Harry. "Why are you still here?"

"Making sure you're okay I guess." Harry looked around for the first time since entering Draco's apartment. The bedroom was dark and decorated in grays and greens. The lighting was low, sexy. Harry found himself wondering how many men Malfoy had brought there.

"Admiring something?"

"You have a nice place."

"I know. You could take some tips for your place. Come here." Draco grabbed him and pulled him down onto the bed and then arranged him so that he could look at the room from a different angle. It wasn't lost on Harry that he was laying on a bed next to Malfoy, but in the other man's drunken state he probably didn't realize what he was doing. "Look. The room is amazing from here. It's lit so that you can see the whole room, but it's soft enough to create atmosphere. It's perfect." He sighed. "I could stay in here for a week."

"You'd probably want something to eat eventually."

They were silent for several moments until Malfoy spoke again in a quietly defeated voice.

"My son wrote me. He said to stop writing him and that he's going to stay with his mother for Christmas. He doesn't want to see me at all."

"Christmas is still two months away. I'm sure he'll change his mind."

"Astoria says that there have been some problems at school. He got in some fights. The other kids are… telling stories about the old days."

"The war?" Draco nodded. "Well, it had to come out eventually. I'm sorry that Scorpius had to find out like that."

"They don't even know what they're talking about. It was one of the Weasley kids and his friends that started trouble with Scorpius. He did some looking into it and realized that most of what they said was right. The stuff that was wrong apparently didn't matter. Now he won't talk to me."

"You're the parent, he's the kid; make him listen."

"My father died because he couldn't get rid of everything that followed him after the war. It won't go away for me until I die…"

Harry turned his head quickly, but Malfoy wasn't looking at him. He was staring off at the ceiling, lost in his morose thoughts. "You're not going to… do anything stupid… are you?"

"Define stupid."

"You know what I mean. You're talking about dying."

"As if you care, Potter. One less Malfoy in the world isn't going to hurt anything."

"No? Were you glad that your dad died?"

"Of course not."

"It hurt you, your mother, your son?"

"I see where you're going with this and you can stop now."

"Don't you think your son would be hurt if you died? He's upset now, but he will get over it. Kids do that."

"Potter, your children stopped hating you after you sent them to their room for talking back or something. My child just found out that his father and grandfather were responsible for death and torture. And then his mother informed him that I'm a fag too, so I think this situation is a bit different than any you have come across." He sighed and then added sarcastically, "Though I'm sure you're a great father and know everything about raising children."

"Explain it to Scorpius. Tell him what happened and why you kept it from him."

"He's twelve."

"If he's old enough to hear the lies about you then he's old enough for the truth."

"Maybe…" Draco rubbed his eyes sleepily and yawned. "Why are you still here?" he repeated.

"I want to make sure you don't kill yourself."

"I won't."

"Well then I don't want you to accidentally kill yourself due to drunkenness."

Draco's eyes began to shut, but they popped open again in his effort to not lose himself to sleep.

"You're always…" pale lids slid down over gray eyes, "such a fucking hero… Harry."

And he was out. Harry's heart ached. He truly felt sorry for Draco and couldn't imagine how horrible it would be to have his son not speaking to him. Everything Harry knew about Malfoy from the past had been challenged in the past six months or so. He knew the obnoxious prat was still in there somewhere, but more often than not Draco was agreeable, friendly even. In fact, Harry was beginning to count him as a good friend. Maybe it wasn't quite the same as Ron, but they drank together occasionally, Draco helped him meet his boyfriend and Draco was the only person on earth who knew a deeply personal secret about Harry. That was the definition of a friend.

Knowing that Draco wouldn't be waking up again until morning, Harry figured it was safe to leave. Draco would have a headache that would make him wish he were dead, but he wouldn't do anything about it now. Harry smoothed some loose strands of blond hair away from Draco's forehead before standing up. Just to be nice, he removed Draco's uncomfortable and expensive looking shoes and threw a blanket over him before letting himself out.

Three days later Blake suggested that they not see each other anymore.

"You're so guarded," he had said. "It's like no one can ever really know you. And if I'm going to stay in a relationship I need to have a partner who trusts me enough to open up to me."

Harry never knew how much Draco's drunken words had influenced Blake's decision, but he couldn't argue with it. Blake was right; he wasn't open with him. There were some things that he couldn't tell him. The wizarding world, for one. But everything else- the war, death, killing, conspiracy- it was enough to send any sane person running in the opposite direction. The secrecy was getting to Harry already. He was certainly beginning to understand why so many of his wizarding friends avoided dating muggles and he wondered if Draco had the right idea about just dating casually. If he didn't get attached to anyone then he didn't have to worry about opening up or keeping secrets.


	6. Friends and More

**A/N: Hello all! Wow, less than a month between chapters! That's big for me lately. And I think chapter 7 will be along in the next day or so too! I'm feeling particularly productive this week.**

Part Six – Friends and More

An unfortunate consequence of Harry's complicated life was that he had been severely neglecting his other friendships. He made time for Lily, but the rest of his free time was spent usually out looking for company. After the break up with Blake, Harry figured that he would spend _more_ time with Ron and his wizarding friends, but it seemed like he actually had less time. Instead of evenings with Blake, Harry was going out on his own and spending the night with whoever he wanted. Draco had joked that he was making up for the good times he missed by settling down early with Ginny. Still, sometimes he missed his old life.

Going out for drinks with Ron after work used to be one of the highlights of his day, but now it had become something they did every other week. And through October and most of November their schedules had conflicted so terribly that it didn't happen at all. So when they finally found time to get together at the end of the month, Harry jumped at the chance.

Since the divorce from Ginny their relationship had been different. As good of terms as Harry and Ginny had parted on, some of the family felt it was a bit unnatural to not pick sides at all. There had been no hostilities, but the tension was enough to make Harry avoid many Weasley interactions. Ron and Hermione were by far the most accepting of it. They were the first to know of the divorce and Harry and Ginny had sat them down together to tell them. In order to stay as neutral as possible, they had all agreed that the subject wouldn't be discussed again. It was the one thing that Harry was specifically forbidden from speaking to Ron about. It was frustrating at times, to be unable to open up to him, but if that was the price Harry had to pay to keep his best friend, then so be it.

He still saw Ron at work every day, but they had very different jobs than they had in the early days of Auror work. As Head Auror, Harry didn't go out in the field as much as he used to. He was in charge of the training program and schedules and paperwork. In the old days, Harry and Ron had been partners and gone on nearly every mission together. When Neville was still an Auror, the three of them had actually had fun rounding up the last of the Death Eaters and were seen as national heroes. When Neville left, the job was still fun for a time. Harry loved working alongside his friends and was honored when Kingsley made him Head Auror. He still loved his job, but absolutely detested the bureaucracy of it. He would prefer fieldwork to paperwork any day. But working closely with Ron was the main thing that he missed about the old days.

"Hermione's going to kill me if I stay out much later."

"One more drink," Harry begged. He didn't want to go home to his empty flat quite yet. Luckily Ron didn't need much persuading and ordered another round from Hannah. Halfway through the drink Ron nudged Harry and pointed to the door. When Harry looked up he almost spit out his drink. Malfoy was walking toward them, smirking.

"Well, well. Potter and Weasley. It's not a Gryffindor reunion, is it?"

"Bugger off, Malfoy."

Draco frowned. "That wasn't very nice. Can't a fellow get a drink without being harassed, Weasel?"

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"It's a free country. I'm getting a drink. Though it's not my favorite place to frequent, I was just doing business in Diagon Alley and thought I'd stop in." Draco ordered a firewhiskey from Hannah and then looked over his two former schoolmates. He smiled, noticing the way that Harry was purposely not looking at him. "Potter, do know of any place I could go to not be bothered by the local riffraff?"

"Sorry, Malfoy, you're on your own."

"I was sure you would have some suggestions."

Harry did look up at him then with a look that clearly said not to push his luck. Draco was thoroughly enjoying this. There was a sparkle in his eyes that rarely appeared these days. As if fighting made him feel more alive. But Harry knew that in a few hours Draco will have drunk enough to drown that sparkle, replacing it with that glassy, vacant look that had become so common now.

"Leave Harry alone, Malfoy." Ron spat out the name as if it were a dirty word.

"Aw, that's so sweet, defending your boyfriend, Weasley."

"Shut up."

"And there's that Weasley wit I remember. Thank Merlin your daughter inherited Granger's brains. Of course even with her diluted genetics she didn't make the number one spot last year, did she?"

"She's second in her class!" Harry rolled his eyes at how easy it was for Ron to get defensive about his family, which was exactly what Malfoy was counting on.

"Yes, and who was it who was first? Oh, that's right, Scorpius was."

Harry sighed and put a hand on Ron's shoulder to keep him from replying. "Malfoy, do you have a point, or do you just want to gloat about how great your son is?"

"Me? I just miss the witty banter with the two of you. Too bad Granger couldn't make it, could be truly like old times."

"Too bad you don't have your two goons to back you up," said Ron. "Oh, that's right, what happened to Crabbe and Goyle again?"

Harry watched as the smile slid from Draco's face. The carefree Draco was gone again, and the guarded one took his place. Draco swallowed his drink and set down the coins to pay for it. "It seems I was wrong. Can't get back there even if I wanted to. Good evening, Weasley." His eyes shifted to Harry. "I'll see you around, Potter."

"Why will he see _you_ around?" Ron asked as soon as Draco was out the door.

"I don't know. Just an expression I suppose."

"He acted like he actually would see you. Like he's seen you before."

"I ran into him at a muggle bar a while back. And here, back in May."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry shrugged in a way he hoped was casual. "Didn't seem important. He's a prat, but he didn't do anything horrible. We apparently have a lot in common."

"Like what?"

"Fathers, recently divorced and in the habit of going to muggle places. I acknowledged him, he acknowledged me and we went on our way."

"I don't trust him. He's still a git."

"Yeah," Harry agreed absently. "I suppose he is."

"So, a muggle place, eh? Is that where you met this person you're dating?"

"Yes."

"When do I get to meet her?"

"Um… You probably won't. We're not really dating anymore."

"What happened?"

"Just… I don't know.

"It's because you're a wizard. You should have just told her."

"It wasn't that serious. I'm not even really upset about it." Harry tipped his glass back and forth in his hand absently. "I figured I may as well enjoy being single for a while."

Ron grinned, figuring out immediately what that meant. He was most likely picturing Harry surrounded by beautiful muggle women and Harry felt horribly guilty for still keeping this secret from his best friend. If he couldn't tell Ron, who could he tell?

Harry cleared his throat. "Ron, I have to tell you something." He looked up from his drink, waiting for Harry to continue. "I… er, I lied about Malfoy. I see him around a lot. It wasn't just a couple times. He's… I don't know, I suppose you could say he's become… like a friend."

"_You're_ friends with Draco Malfoy?" He laughed. "You've hated him for as long as we've known him."

"And we're all grownups now, right? He's changed. He's not too bad."

"Well, I get why you didn't want to tell me. I mean, _Malfoy_? He must have changed if you can stand to be in the same room with him."

"You don't think I'm completely mad then?"

"Of course I do, Harry. Always have. But I expect you know who you can count as a friend. Just as long as you still know that when he turns back into a snotty annoying arse, I'll be here."

"I'll have to remember that."

They were quiet for several moments and finally Ron remembered something. "So what was all that that subtext just now? He was asking if you know a good bar and you were acting weird."

"He knew that you didn't know that we were talking I suppose."

"He thinks the fact that you go to muggle bars is some big dirty secret then?"

"I dunno."

Now it wasn't that Harry enjoyed lying to Ron. In fact, he was feeling extremely guilty and was close to just telling him the truth. Except he _couldn't_. The words wouldn't come out. Ron had been great so far. He'd handled the information about Draco better than Harry could have expected and he wasn't ready to push his luck. Ron was the one person he couldn't lose. Besides being Harry's best friend he was also the key to keeping the peace in the family. If Ron or Ginny turned on him, then his relationship with everyone he loved was in danger. He didn't think that would happen, but the fear was paralyzing.

Draco was flirting with Cameron the bartender when Harry entered The Stag that Friday night. It was nothing out of the ordinary, since Draco generally flirted with anything with a pulse, but for some reason the sight of it bothered Harry. Draco had been acting more and more careless lately and that included going out with more men. He'd always been promiscuous by Harry's standards, but recently he'd created a whole new definition of the word. And it wasn't just the men. It was the alcohol and the very real possibility that he'd been taking more drugs. And while Harry did know many things about muggle drugs, he didn't know the first thing about how to counteract them. Draco could easily overdose and there wouldn't be a thing to stop it.

And then Harry remembered that he didn't have much room to judge Draco's behavior when his own had become so entirely out of character for him. After he and Blake broke up Harry didn't see the harm in having a little fun. It couldn't hurt to get a little wild and no one ever said that the love of his life would just fall right out of the heavens now that he knew he was attracted to men. What good would it do to go searching for "the one" like some virginal teenage girl? He didn't really think it was healthy to be as ambitious as Draco was, but a little variety wasn't a bad thing. He just drew the line at experimenting with the various mind-altering substances that Draco seemed to be into.

"Malfoy, leave the poor man alone. I'm sure he has his share of drunken fools hitting on him every night."

As Draco turned Harry noticed that his eyes were quite red and his pupils dilated. He was clearly on something. Harry glanced at Cameron who shook his head slightly, as if to say that Draco was not right.

"Potter, I can't help it. He's the only one here I haven't been with. I had to try."

Harry laughed. As promiscuous as Draco was, he had most certainly not been with everyone in that bar.

"Maybe that's a sign that you should take a break."

"You're one to talk." Cameron was apparently forgotten as Draco turned his full attention on Harry. "I've been watching you."

"I'm flattered."

"You went home with Timothy last night."

"Once more, I'm flattered."

"Timothy has a small penis."

Harry shrugged. "It's not the size that counts, but how one uses it."

"You're an idiot."

"Well we all have our opinions, don't we?" Draco looked blank, as if he had just forgotten what they were talking about. A good time to change the subject. "By the way, thanks a lot for butting in on my night out with Ron."

"Did I interfere with you making your move?"

Harry rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to gag. He loved Ron like a brother, but he did not want to even think about making any moves on him. At all.

"You're the idiot, Malfoy. Ron's my oldest friend."

"Good, because the thought of you and him together would just make me vomit. You're too pretty for a Weasley."

"Why is it that you only hit on me when you're high? Subconscious telling you something?"

Draco ignored the comment completely. "Did you come out to Weasley?"

"No. You know I wouldn't. Though you almost gave me no choice."

"Have to eventually."

"I'm sorry he brought up Crabbe and Goyle. You know Ron, when he's angry he says stupid things."

"And when he's not angry, funnily enough."

Draco was playing with a napkin on the bar and had suddenly lost interest in the conversation. Cameron used that opportunity to work his way back over to Harry. He pointed to Draco and shook his head again.

"How long has he been here?" Harry asked quietly. Draco didn't even look up.

"Stumbled in about three hours ago and then stumbled out with a friend, then back in again within the past half hour."

Harry groaned. "Which friend?" It could make a huge difference. Harry had been around enough to know which guys were into which bad habits. The bar followed a strict anti-drug policy, which was one reason why it had quickly become Harry's favorite place. He'd been to other places that were more relaxed about following the law and others that downright defied the law. But here, if a bartender knew of any use going on those individuals were quickly removed. Still everyone knew those that found ways around watching eyes. He'd learned many names of muggle drugs and knew which regular patrons used them. He also knew that, aside from the very high quality marijuana that Draco always kept on hand, Draco also had started doing whatever the people he was with were doing. So depending on who Draco left with, Harry may be able to discover what he had taken.

"He left with Jared, but came back high and morose."

"Well lately he's morose when he's perfectly sober too."

"More than usual. He told me that his son was better off without him and something about paying for crimes… I couldn't really follow it all. And I didn't even know he had a son."

"Yeah. Jared didn't come back with him?"

Jared was bad news. The guy was known for his drug habit, but generally stayed away from the more respectable businesses as he'd been banned from most of them. The problem was that he was into so many different things that it was hard to tell exactly what Draco was on. Lately his motto had been to try anything at least once.

Harry touched Draco's arm lightly. "What did you take?"

"Don't know what you're talking about."

"Draco, I know you're on something. Isn't it too early in the night for this?"

"Don't know what you're…." He'd found the bowl of peanuts fascinating and once again lost the conversation.

"Harry! You're here."

He looked up to see Mark and an unknown man approaching. Mark was someone Harry had gotten to know very well indeed since the breakup with Blake. Mark was tall, brunette and a great dancer. Harry had noticed him around ever since he started going out, but when Blake was out of the picture he got bold enough to make a move. Since then they'd become friends and very casual sex partners. And he was always on the lookout for men that he could send Harry's way. And the man he was with at the moment was very cute.

"What's going on?"

Mark smirked. "I have a proposition for you."

Draco let out a bark of a laugh just then startling them all.

"Sorry, he's… a little out of it. So what's the proposition?" Harry looked the stranger up and down and then smiled back up at Mark.

"This is Brian. Brian just got into town and doesn't have anyone to stay with tonight. Isn't that sad?" He made a pouty face that made Harry laugh out loud. "So I have come up with a solution. I thought you and I could show him around town, maybe stop at my place for a drink or two before tucking him into bed."

"You want… both of us?" Harry asked uncertainly. That would be something new. He liked Mark and trusted him, but they'd never invited a third person to bed with them. "Yeah, I could…" He stopped and looked at Draco. He couldn't just leave Draco there alone, tripping on Merlin knows what. "I need to take him home, I think. I can catch up with you later."

Mark's face gave away his disappointment. He looked down at Draco with open disgust. "Well, I won't hold my breath waiting for you, but if you can tear yourself away from the train wreck we'll be at my place."

"I'm sorry. It's not like I planned this."

"No, you're right. Take care of him." Mark shook his head and leaned in closer to Harry. "I'll never understand why you waste your time with this mess he's become, but when he sobers up make sure you let him know that he cost you the hottest night of your life."

He turned around and Brian gave a little wave before following. Harry waved back and turned to Draco who had laid his head onto the bar and had his eyes closed, possibly asleep.

"I don't deserve this, you know. I didn't do anything to be cursed with your dumb arse."

"So end the curse, Potter," Draco mumbled.

"Oh? How do I do that?"

"You could always kill me."

Harry paused, waiting for Malfoy to laugh or indicate that he was joking. But he didn't. "Uh, no I couldn't."

"No one will care. In fact, they might even give you another holiday in honor of getting rid of another Malfoy."

"Cameron wasn't lying about being morose."

"I want to die."

"So you've told me. But only when you're tripping. Which is funny because I always thought drugs were supposed to make you feel good."

"Maybe they just make you honest."

The process of getting Draco home that night was very similar to what had been happening more frequently over the past few weeks. It was becoming routine. Harry was able to find all the light switches in Draco's flat in the dark without trouble. He knew where the hangover potions were and that Draco always kept pumpkin juice in the refrigerator. And he knew that before he left for the night Draco would ask him to stay. He knew that Draco would pull him toward the bed and it would be completely innocent. Aside from a few flirtatious remarks he never made a pass at Harry at his home. He just wanted Harry to stay.

The first time this happened it startled Harry. It was only the second time he'd ever helped Draco home and he was still feeling awkward being there. He was getting ready to leave a very drowsy Draco in his bed when a hand caught his. He looked down, but Draco's eyes were closed and looked every bit as if he was asleep until he mumbled, "don't go."

"I have to. And you have to sleep it off."

"Mm… no, stay. Please."

Out of curiosity Harry sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're just going to fall asleep anyway. Why do you need me here?"

"I'm alone, Harry."

He never remembered it the next day. There was something about Draco that made it impossible for Harry to turn him down. He'd justified his friendship with Draco many times by saying that they were alone together. They were the only two wizards they knew who were out among muggles. They were both hiding major secrets from their families and friends. Draco had become the only person that Harry trusted with this huge part of his life and Draco was the only reason Harry wasn't completely alone. How could he deny Draco that same kind of comfort? So he stayed until Draco fell asleep and didn't mention it to him afterwards. As far as he knew the drugs erased Draco's memory.

Unfortunately that meant that he wouldn't make it to Mark's house for his little impromptu ménage trios. In fact, he found himself dropping a lot of things for Draco lately. He reacted to Draco's drunkenness with superficial annoyance, but when it came right down to it, he wanted to be there. He wanted to take care of Draco. And Harry wasn't sure what to do with that thought. What did it say that he would rather be with a drunken, miserable Draco than with Mark and his new friend, Brian?

He sat next to Draco's pillow for several minutes after the other man had fallen asleep, watching his face. Everyone looked so much more peaceful when they slept. Everything that haunted him in the day seemed to fade away, leaving just deep, even breaths. Draco didn't do that. Instead of a peaceful expression, his dreams left him frowning, his forehead wrinkling in pain or anger. He was restless, always changing positions. Tonight Harry reached out and placed a hand on his head. He stroked the blond hair, smoothing it away from Draco's forehead, until Draco stopped turning. After a few moments of that Draco's face relaxed and he appeared to be just a little more peaceful. But Harry couldn't stay forever. Eventually he tore himself away for the night, wondering if Draco was ever actually at peace.


	7. Merry Little Christmas

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! Feedback really keeps me motivated.**

Part Seven – Merry Little Christmas

Harry opened his front door cautiously, wondering who on earth would be visiting him at this time. It was about ten on Christmas Eve. After dinner with the Weasleys he came home, expecting a quiet evening alone. No one had mentioned they were stopping by. To his utter shock Draco was leaning against the door frame smirking. He was bundled up warmly in his black, knee length coat, black leather gloves and forest green scarf. His hair was getting long, Harry noticed. He'd been keeping it short and generally slicked back. Today he abandoned hair products altogether and it hung loose around his face, a strand even falling into his eyes. Harry snapped his mouth shut to keep from looking like a gawking fool.

"Good evening, Potter."

"What are you doing here?"

"A fine greeting that was. It's Christmas Eve, you know."

"Exactly my point."

"You said last week you children would be with the Weaselette. My son isn't speaking to me. We're both divorced and have no one else to visit with."

Harry stepped aside and gestured for Draco to enter. "You don't have some random trick to screw tonight?"

"Most places are closed. Only the most depressing and desperate blokes are out tonight."

"Which explains you."

Draco gave up unbuttoning his coat and threw himself down on the sofa with a pout. "I'm not desperate."

"You do remember who I am, right? Harry Potter, your sworn enemy. Being here tonight of all nights is the definition of desperate."

He scowled and finished removing his outerwear and finally mumbled, "Maybe." He sat up and looked around. "Do you have any liquor around here?"

Harry went to the liquor cabinet and brought the whole bottle back with him, along with two glasses. "I'm not getting drunk with you, Malfoy."

Draco grinned. "Afraid that under the influence of alcohol you might do something about that insane crush you have on me?"

"You're delusional."

He took the drink he was offered and slouched against the back of the sofa again. If Harry was correct Draco was actually getting sloppier. He wasn't sure if it was the drinking or just the way that he seemed to be so depressed. Not that Malfoy was ever a bundle of happiness, even when he was a spoiled kid. They'd gone all those years without speaking to each other and Harry couldn't account for that behavior, but just in the last few months since they had been around each other Harry was noticing a change.

If anyone had the right to be depressed, it was Draco. He'd never really shared much about the timeline of how things fell apart in his marriage, but the divorce happened nearly a year ago. And then his name had been soiled by the _Daily Prophet_ and his son stopped talking to him. Not to mention Lucius' suicide in the middle of it all. Harry wasn't entirely sure what he was getting himself into, but he decided to let Malfoy drink his sorrows away.

"I suppose you have a big family thing to go to tomorrow."

"No. Dinner at the Weasley's was today. Tomorrow everyone has plans with other family. Bill and Fleur left for France tonight to be with her family. Her sister just had another baby."

"I remember her. The other person you dragged out of the lake in fourth year."

Harry nodded and sat down in the comfortable arm chair across from the sofa.

"You were an idiot."

"Well that's me."

"I hated you."

"You're so nostalgic when you're drunk."

Malfoy acted as if he had not heard that comment and took another drink. "I tried to see Scorpius today, but my mother is siding with Astoria. It's nothing personal, she says, she just needs to stay on Astoria's good side so that she can see her grandson."

"That's ridiculous."

"You're so lucky you had a friendly divorce."

"We'll see how friendly things stay when I come out. Maybe we'll both be disowned."

Draco snorted into his drink. "Never. They won't disown you. You'll be forgiven no matter how queer you are."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"So when are you going to tell them?"

"After the holidays at least. I'm avoiding it. When I was seeing Blake I thought I should and now that we're not together I don't have any incentive to."

"So you only have to be gay when you're seeing someone, but the rest of the time you're perfectly straight? I wish it worked that way for me."

"No. I don't know how it works. It's not like there's a good way to go about all of this. I could just get caught screwing the gardener and then I wouldn't have to worry about how to tell them."

Draco glared. "You're humor is just astounding."

"Okay, here's the thing. I know that I like men. I know that without doubt. But I don't know how that fits into my life." Draco stared at him, trying to make sense of it. "How do I date men and still have everything else the same?"

"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you're actually over thinking things, Potter. A nice contrast for all those year where you didn't think of anything. Who said it had to change?"

"Look at you."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You mean I'm the perfect example in what to avoid. I know and thanks for the reminder."

"Well, aren't there times you wish that you could change? If you weren't gay then you would still be married and your son wouldn't hate you."

"Maybe. Or I might have married someone I actually wanted to be with instead of the first woman who came along. At least you married someone you loved, even if it didn't work out."

"And you don't regret that? You don't regret all the things that have happened just because you're gay?"

"I have plenty of regrets. I knew the truth when I was sixteen and I was too stupid to do anything about it. I regret that. But I wouldn't change being gay."

"Oh." Harry's mind went from his own troubles to Draco's history. How horrible it would be to be stuck in his position and knowing every day that he could have prevented it. "When did you know that you were gay? Before Justin?"

"I had ideas of it before, but the minute I kissed him I knew… Actually it was about two seconds before we kissed. We were fighting. He grabbed my arm and I looked at him and I wanted to hit him." Harry noticed the way Draco's right hand trailed over his upper left arm, no doubt where Justin had touched him. "And then he looked at me and I remember thinking… that his lips looked so good. So then I kissed him."

He didn't just look nostalgic now, but sad and regretful. Harry guessed that it wasn't just some casual fling between two schoolmates. He cared for Justin a great deal.

"Were you there when he died?"

Draco flinched at the mention of it and resolutely kept his eyes averted from Harry's. "You have to understand that after I failed to kill Dumbledore, everything changed. My family grew even more out of favor. They broke my father and the others out of prison and he kept telling me to do whatever I had to, just to stay alive. If they wanted me to stay home, I stayed. If they wanted me to go out with them, I went. Right after the Ministry takeover they went out a lot. Bellatrix always made me go with her. So I went, kept my head down and stayed alive.

"When I saw who they were taking I stayed as far away as I could so no one would ask me to take part. Crabbe was right up there though, more than willing to help. When Justin realized who he was he looked around for others."

"For you."

He nodded. "I still stayed back. I watched the whole thing, but I didn't let him see me. I couldn't." Draco drained his glass. He still remembered Justin's fear and the sound of his body hitting the grass. He remembered the way he waited until everyone else had gone and went back. There was still a little warmth left in Justin's face when Draco touched his cheek. The Death Eaters had dragged their victims out into the forest to have their fun, so Draco carried Justin's body back toward town where it would be found and returned to his family. It was the only thing he could do for him. Draco rubbed a hand over his face. "He died quickly and with honor. And if I'd had any I would have stopped it."

"And you'd be dead. And your parents… And me too. Who do you think they would have taken me to if the Malfoys weren't around Easter weekend? We may not have escaped. And your mother wouldn't have been around to lie to Voldemort for me in the forest. You regret that night and rightfully so, but if you'd saved Justin then what would have been different? Voldemort may have never been defeated. Ron, Hermione and I were the only ones who knew his secret. If we'd died…" he trailed off with a shrug. "But you know me and my need to save people. I'd have rushed in to his rescue without thinking it through at all and gotten us both killed."

Draco wasn't convinced.

"There is no dishonor in surviving, Draco. Quit blaming yourself for Justin. He wouldn't have blamed you."

Draco finally nodded and reached for the bottle of liquor to pour himself another glass.

"Wow, you really were into him, weren't you?"

"We were children."

"And you obviously loved him."

"I loved fucking him."

"You loved him. And twenty years later you're still not over him." Harry was really beginning to understand a lot about Draco. It made so much sense and now that he was figuring it out he couldn't stop. "And not only that but you have such great memories of him that no man will ever live up to it. So you go around fucking everyone you come across because you're looking for something that may or may not have ever existed, but died a long time ago."

"Thanks, Potter. If I wanted to feel this depressed I would have stayed home alone."

"Anytime." Harry looked at the clock and noticed how late it was getting. "I have to be getting to bed. Do you want to stay over? On the sofa I mean."

"I'm not that pathetic, Potter."

"No, but you're drunk. You shouldn't be apparating. And neither of us have anyone else to be with tonight."

Harry went to find an extra pillow and blanket for his visitor. When he came back Draco hadn't moved at all.

"Here you go. Bathroom is just down the hall."

"I changed my mind; I am pathetic."

Harry dropped the blankets down next to him. "You're not pathetic. Just lonely." He shrugged. "You're hardly alone in that."

"I still hate you, Potter."

"That's okay. You're not my type anyway, remember?"

Draco managed a small smile and Harry said good night.

The first thing Draco was conscious of Christmas morning was a somewhat familiar voice calling out Harry's name. He lifted his head to see the front door opening slowly and Ron Weasley entering. He shut his eyes right away against the intensity of the light.

"Harry? You okay? You weren't answering the door so I let myself in."

Draco groaned and pulled a blanket up over his head. "Go away."

"Har-" Ron stopped abruptly just inside the door. "Harry?"

Draco pulled the blanket down and squinted into the brightness. "Do I look like Potter? He's in his room sleeping, which is what I'm trying to do."

"What the hell are you doing here, Malfoy? Does Harry know you're here?"

Even in his foggy mind Draco knew the ridiculousness in that question. "What do you think?"

Harry came in then, clutching a bathrobe around himself. "Ron, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting my best friend on Christmas. What is _he_ doing here?" he asked, pointing at Draco.

"Will you two keep it down? My head feels like it just may explode at any moment."

Harry pulled Ron into the kitchen.

"Care to explain?"

"He has a hangover."

"On your couch."

"I told you I've seen him around a lot lately. He needed a place to stay."

"It's Malfoy. You're spending Christmas with Malfoy."

"Spending it with Malfoy is better than being alone."

"That's debatable."

"I can still hear you, you know," Draco yelled from the next room.

"You see?" said Ron. "Being alone would be better."

"Say what you want, but I wasn't going to let him apparate like that. It's better just to let him stay."

"Do you know what people will say if they know you've been associating with Malfoy?"

"I'm sure you'll tell me anyway."

"He was a Death Eater. He's a complete mess if you listen to the papers. And his personal life…"

"What about it?"

"You know what they say about him."

Harry knew and he didn't want to hear what Ron thought of it. It just made everything harder.

"Go home before Rose and Hugo wake up. Tell Hermione and the kids that I love them and I wish I could be there."

"You're seriously choosing Malfoy over us?"

"No, I'm choosing my own children over you. Ginny is bringing them over later."

"You're not going there?"

"We thought it would be good to keep some boundaries. They don't spend much time with me over here."

Ron cocked his head to the side. "She's having Dean over?"

"Yes."

"I can't picture him there, you know. In your house."

"It's her house and I'm okay with it. Now go home."

"Fine." Ron scowled, but then leaned in to give Harry a hug. "Happy Christmas." Ron made his way back to the door, glancing at Draco on the way. "Happy Christmas, Malfoy." He paused, shaking his head at the weirdness of uttering such a sentence and continued out the door.

"Uh-oh," said Draco. "I got you in trouble with Weasley. Again."

"He'll be fine. Are you feeling better?"

"It's Christmas morning and I'm sitting on your sofa with nowhere to go. 'Better' is not the word I would use."

"What about seeing your mother?"

"Astoria and Scorpius are there and I am specifically prohibited from showing up until this evening."

"You can stay here if you want." Harry looked up at the clock on the wall. It was eight. "Ginny will be bringing the kids by around ten."

"I'm not going to spend Christmas with you, Potter."

Except there was that look in his eye that said he really wanted to. His pride was too great to admit it, but Harry could see that this was a man who desperately didn't want to be alone. Malfoy had been more than lonely. He was reaching out desperately for a friend and Harry really did want to be there for him.

"Go home and change your clothes, get a hangover potion and come back here at noon. I'm cooking for the kids and there will be plenty."

"You're cooking? Merlin help us."

"I'm quite good at it actually."

"I'm sure your children don't want me interfering."

"They like meeting new people. Lily likes to flirt and Al asks a lot of questions. James… well he can be little rude while he's sizing a person up, but he warms up eventually." Malfoy was still hesitant. "They will actually be thrilled to know that I'm not always alone. I think they figure since I don't have friends over while they're here then I'm alone all the time."

"You are."

"Well there you are. I need the company and you're coming."

When Draco left Harry really wasn't certain if he would return, but set about preparing a meal. The children arrived and they all had fun opening their presents. Then it was time to head back to the kitchen to finish their meal. When he was nearly finished there was a knock and he ran out of the kitchen in time to see James answering the door.

Draco stood there carrying a bottle of wine and a bag of candy. Harry smiled, inexplicably happy that Draco had come back. He ushered his guest inside and immediately knew he was in for trouble when he caught the glare his oldest son was giving him.

"Okay everyone, I'd like you to meet a… friend of mine." Harry glanced at Draco, both of them thinking how odd _that_ sounded. "This is Mr. Malfoy. He's going to have dinner with us."

The boys both caught the name Malfoy at once, but Lily, unpoisoned by school stories, walked right up to Draco with her hand extended. After a moment of surprise Draco took it.

"I'm Lily Potter, Mr. Malfoy."

"It's, er, good to meet you Lily."

Harry smiled. It was uncommon that Draco was caught so completely off guard. "And this is Al and James. Boys, say hello."

Al uttered a tentative "hi," but James scowled and it was obvious from the tone of his greeting that he was not going to play nice. Draco must have picked up on it, for he offered James the bag of Christmas candy, saying that the boy was certainly old enough to divide it up amongst his siblings. James was far too smart to be won over by such a move, but he didn't make any outwardly hostile actions. Draco quickly retreated to the kitchen with Harry, complaining that he should never have come.

Dinner was a bit awkward at first. Lily was the only one willing to chat freely and soon she picked up on everyone's mood. Finally it was Al who got a real conversation started when he asked if Draco was Scorpius' father.

"I told you so," James muttered when Draco confirmed it.

"Scorpius sits behind me in Potions," Al said.

"Does he?"

"He's really good at Potions. Better than Rose even."

"It does seem to be his best subject," Draco replied, more to fill silence than anything.

"You don't seem evil," Al said.

"Al!" Harry admonished. James snorted into his potatoes.

Draco was looking Al over curiously. "It's okay, Harry. Your son obviously has something on his mind."

"I only said it because people at school said some really terrible things about you. Scorpius said it wasn't true, but no one believed him. But you don't seem so bad to me."

"I take a break from being evil for Christmas," Draco smiled.

Al grinned. "Mr. Malfoy, do you play chess?"

"I do."

"I wondered if you might like to play me."

After dinner they played two games. James was still playing it cool, standing in the corner watching the game.

"I won again," said Draco.

"I know you're cheating," Al pouted.

"It figures," James muttered. "He's a Malfoy."

Draco's smile fell a fraction of an inch as Harry chastised his son for his manners. But then the Malfoy arrogance came back full force.

"I don't know, James. If you think I'm a cheater then I challenge you to a game. You can see for yourself what I am." James narrowed his eyes. "Unless of course you're afraid. Your father was always afraid of me too. It seems young Albus is the only Potter brave enough to face me."

Harry was grinning from his seat next to Lily. He shook his head slightly when Draco glanced over at him. Draco should know better than to push James like that. And to tell such lies about Harry being afraid of him. Apparently his tactics worked. James stomped over to the table to prove himself and a tense, exciting chess match began. Al had apparently taken a liking to Draco and laughed every time his brother lost a piece. These chess matches continued for most of the afternoon with Draco winning more often than he lost. When Harry finally took his turn all three children gathered around the table to watch. They'd never seen anyone except Uncle Ron beat their dad.

What the game came down to was a matter of reading one's opponent. Both Harry and Draco were good at that, but Harry had more practice. He had intimidated suspects into confessions just by a look. Malfoy was no different. He began to squirm under Harry's gaze and could no longer focus on the game.

Draco stayed well into the evening and ate supper with them. Al had been asking for stories about his dad at school and Draco was more than happy to share some of the less flattering ones.

"Hagrid really hatched a baby dragon in his hut?"

"Yes," said Harry. "Until Malfoy told on him. Uncle Charlie took the dragon to live with him." He looked at the clock. "It's time to be getting to bed."

There was a round of groans in response.

"Some other time I'll tell you about the escaped bludger that came after your father during a Quidditch match."

Once everyone was tucked into their beds Harry joined Draco on the sofa to drink their way through the bottle of wine.

"You know, Potter, your children are a lot like you were. And by that I mean that they're annoying little shits."

The insult lacked any real malice and Harry actually smiled. "Well if your son is anything like you then I'm sure classes with the lot of them are quite interesting."

"Scorpius is nothing like me," Draco said quickly. "No, he's smart and loyal and so confident."

"You just described yourself, Draco."

"He won't make the mistakes that I did."

"James is my difficult one. From what everyone has told me about my dad I named him after the right person. My dad was a troublemaker in school. He and Sirius could be real mean when they wanted to. I see that in James a lot."

"And of course being a bastard skips a generation, missed you entirely," Draco laughed.

Harry shook his head. "I only gave back all the shit I took from people like you. Al is like that. He minds his own business but you don't want to make an enemy of him."

"And the girl?"

"Lily. She's a lot like Ginny. And my mum too, I suppose. It's too early to say really. She's sometimes quite timid, but I think she would be quite capable of taking care of herself."

"You're different now. It's so strange to think we both have children. You're not the same boy who nearly killed me in that bathroom."

Harry's eyebrows shot up toward his hairline. "You're not the same boy who I found crying in that bathroom either."

"I'm oddly glad I came over today."

"Me too. Though I'm going to have some explaining to do with Ron."

"Just think how much worse it would be if you'd come out."

Harry took another drink. That was just something he didn't want to think about. Especially not on Christmas.

Draco cleared his throat to change the subject. "I saw you've been around Mark a lot lately."

"And?"

"Nothing. Just an observation. He's not really the dating sort though."

"That's why we're not _dating_," Harry replied with a smirk.

Draco nodded thoughtfully, though he didn't say anymore. He wasn't quite prepared to think about the feelings that he was experiencing. Maybe part of him was jealous. Harry had everything. Maybe it wasn't perfect, but he could balance his life so his kids didn't hate him. He had real friends, who would stand by him. It was more than Draco had been able to accomplish. And yes, if Draco had to admit it, maybe he was trying to probe a little bit about Harry's sex life. He noticed a lot of the men Harry spent time with in addition to Mark. He'd always assumed Harry would be the dating type, not into casual sex. Apparently he was wrong. Lately, Harry seemed to be going home with just about anyone. Anyone except for Draco anyway.

Draco left a few minutes later and went home to drink more. Alone.


	8. Feeling

***Chapter warnings: Discussion of suicide and some sexual content. In case that bothers anyone.**

**Author's Note: Thanks again for all the reviews. **

Part Eight – Feeling

Harry hadn't seen much of Draco in the week after Christmas and it worried him. He seemed so happy playing chess with the kids, but it didn't appear to have a lasting effect. He was right back to his usual depressing self. With one difference. Every time Harry saw him Draco was alone. Normally he was going out of his way to have plenty of company. This week he couldn't even summon the ability to fake any happiness.

Harry originally planned to spend New Year's Eve with Ron and Hermione. Almost everyone he knew was headed to Diagon Alley for the annual celebration. He spent all of ten minutes there before he made an excuse to leave. He just couldn't allow himself to have a good time. Sure there was good music and the company wasn't terrible, but there was that old feeling of missing something. He had come to have two complete and different lives. It wasn't just parts of his muggle life anymore. He had friends there, was almost a different person there. And even though he was hiding a good part of the truth about himself from the muggles, it wasn't nearly as stifling as hiding the truth about his sexuality from his wizard friends. So he left Diagon Alley long before midnight.

Sitting at The Stag, he took a look at the mess his life had become. He knew that the secret would have to come out soon. It was exhausting to keep secrets like this. And he felt horrible keeping things from his family. Ron and Hermione had both been asking a lot of questions. They were too smart to not have figured out that he was keeping something from them. And Ginny knew something was up. She was just better about not making Harry feel guilty for keeping it to himself.

It was nearly midnight when Malfoy wandered in quite alone and already drunk. He stumbled over to Harry and slid clumsily onto a bar stool. He had obviously been drinking, but didn't appear to be on anything stronger.

"No date tonight?" Harry asked.

"You ruined it for me." Harry stared blankly. "What you said last week about Justin… It ruined everything." Harry still stared and Draco huffed in annoyance. "You said that I sleep around because of him."

Harry nodded finally. "So what are you going to do?"

"Find a way to fuck whoever I want without wondering if it's a subconscious desire to find my dead teenage lover. Or just drink myself into a stupor." He paused. "The great Harry Potter doesn't have a date either?"

"I'm not great, only mediocre. I was planning on meeting Mark, but he cancelled. Something about his mum being sick."

"Translation: he had a better offer."

"Yeah." That had been happening a lot with Mark lately. Harry was beginning to wonder if he could find any lasting friendship as long as he played babysitter for Malfoy and tried to balance both parts of his life. He looked up at the TV screen. There was only a minute until midnight. "The first New Years Eve since I was a kid that I didn't have a date."

"What's your ex doing?"

"She's at the big party in Diagon Alley with Dean. The kids are with their grandparents."

"And you're here with me."

"Lucky me," Harry responded sarcastically.

Around them the crowd began the ten second countdown to the New Year. Harry scowled and looked down into his glass.

"…five… four… three…"

He glanced at Draco who was looking around at all the happy faces as if they carried some communicable disease that he didn't want to catch.

"Two… one… Happy New Year!"

There were whistles and cheers and a lot of kissing all over the bar. Draco nudged Harry.

"Isn't it bad luck or something to not kiss someone at midnight?"

"I guess we'll both be cursed for the next year then."

"That's the thing; see I had enough bad luck last year. I just need one thing to go right this year. Just one and then it doesn't matter. I think we could both use a little good luck."

Harry's eyes widened as he took in what that meant, but Draco was already moving closer.

"Don't be a wimp, Potter. It doesn't mean anything. It's just for luck." And with that Draco closed the remaining inches between them. Harry's lips were still slightly parted in surprise and Draco's touched his hesitantly, lightly. It was just enough to be called a kiss; just enough for New Years and then Draco started to pull back. Before he got far Harry's hand came up to his neck and pulled him back into a more confident kiss. This one was a real kiss and after a moment their lips parted and though Harry wasn't sure who was leading anymore, the kiss deepened. Harry couldn't have described what kissing Draco felt like. He tasted like several different kinds of alcohol, but there was something else there too that was just Draco and it felt right. And he didn't even know why he did it. What had possessed him to kiss Malfoy of all people? Just because he was there and convenient?

When Draco pulled back this time Harry let him. They stared at each other for a moment, neither one able to read what the other was thinking. There was an empty look in Draco's eyes lately, but now there was something else. He was conflicted about something, though Harry was too. He'd just kissed his oldest rival. And he liked it. A lot. With Draco it was something more. It wasn't just about the kiss; there was something else there that Harry couldn't quite place.

"I have to go," Draco said finally.

"Yeah."

Draco stood, looking toward the door, but he hesitated and looked back down at Harry. Whatever Draco was feeling before it had cleared and Harry could read it all. Fear, depression, regret. It was all there and in a combination that Harry had never witnessed in Draco before.

"Good bye, Harry."

Harry nodded and watched Draco leave, something still nagging at him. Something that was wrong. He ordered another drink. Cameron was tending bar. He set down Harry's bourbon and lingered nearby while Harry took a sip. Finally Harry looked up at him.

"What?"

"Draco Malfoy? Really?"

"Saw that, did you?"

"I knew it was only a matter of time."

Of course the bartender knew. Work in a place like that long enough and you must develop a sixth sense on these things. And even among muggles Draco had a reputation that countered Harry's own. Draco was the town slut, a step up from the junkies and rent boys, but not known as someone that a guy like Harry would be into. Harry's own reputation was that of a tentative newcomer to the community. He was assertive and definitely good-looking, but he hadn't started out just looking for a quick fuck. He was somehow deeper than that. At least, that was how Cameron had appraised him.

"The more you hang around Malfoy the more like him you become."

Harry stared back down into his drink. It was true that in the weeks since the split with Blake Harry had gone out of his way to sleep around a little bit. And Malfoy had been there the whole time encouraging it. It wasn't that Harry was really trying to be more like Draco, but it just sort of happened naturally. Harry had started out criticizing Draco for going home with random strangers, but it was so easy to get caught up in Draco's madness. And really he found that casual sex wasn't as bad as he previously thought. It wasn't what he wanted forever, but it certainly was enough to stave off the loneliness temporarily. But did he want to turn into Draco entirely?

"I'm not like Malfoy."

"You knew him before, right? I thought I heard you say once you went to school together."

"Yeah."

"So was he always like this?"

"You mean a promiscuous son of a bitch?"

"No. Self-destructive."

Harry looked back up then.

"You haven't noticed it," Cameron observed. "I've seen a lot of blokes come through here and you get a feel for the ones who're going to be around a long time and the ones who are close to the end. They just don't care. He doesn't care what happens to him. The way he drinks I'm surprised his liver hasn't given out yet. The way he's been going the past few weeks is suicide."

Harry thought back to his own observations of Malfoy's behavior. He had been getting increasingly depressed. And not long ago he had indicated that everyone would be better off without him. Maybe he was more suicidal than Harry had thought. If he didn't kill himself consciously, the way Lucius had, then he might do it through apathy. Hell, just trying to apparate after having too many drinks could be enough to do it.

Then there was that kiss. What had Draco said_? I just need one thing to go right this year. Just one and then it doesn't matter._ Why didn't it matter? Why was he so desperate to kiss Harry, but then ran out of there like the place was on fire? When Draco wanted something he took it and he was a big believer that an evening shouldn't just stop at one kiss.

And then everything clicked and Harry's stomach twisted into knots. From the emptiness in his eyes right down to the way he said good-bye instead of good night or Happy New Year or his normal "see you around, Potter," something had just been off. Draco _never_ said good-bye.

Cameron reached out and put a hand on Harry's bringing Harry out of his thoughts. He had quite forgotten that Cameron was even still there. "Just don't let yourself get dragged down with him."

No. And he wouldn't let Draco drag himself down either. He quickly paid his tab and left, thinking of where Draco would likely have gone. A few people outside the bar were acquaintances of Draco's and Harry asked them for clues, but Draco had gone without speaking to anyone.

The first logical choice was Draco's flat. He didn't answer when Harry knocked, so Harry just let himself in. Draco normally would have hexed him for it, but he didn't care. He really believed that Draco was in some kind of trouble and he wasn't going to let a simply locking charm stop him. The flat was empty, but Harry paused on the way out, noticing an envelope addressed to Scorpius. The desk had been completely cleared off with the exception of this message. Normally Draco had other things sitting there. It was always neat and orderly, but never empty. Knowing that this was a gross violation of Draco's privacy, Harry opened the envelope and glanced at the letter. He didn't read every word, but he saw enough to know that it was a kind of good-bye. He hastily pushed it back into the envelope and left it exactly where he had found it. Now desperate to find Draco, he went to a couple of the less reputable bars and clubs that Draco frequented. No one had seen him.

Harry was on his way back to his own flat when he had the idea. He went straight to his old school trunk in one of his rarely used cupboards. There he kept newspaper clippings from after the war. In the _Daily Prophet_'s memorial issue they printed all known casualties of the war. It included those who died in the final battle and all those killed by Death Eaters in the three years leading up to the battle.

Harry scrolled through the list alphabetically until he came across Justin's name.

_Finch-Fletchley, Justin_

_14 March, 1980- 2 August, 1997_

Underneath that there was a note about burial in a muggle cemetery near his home. Harry wasted no time apparating there. It wasn't an extremely large cemetery, but big enough that Harry knew it could take a while to find a single grave. He trudged through the snow looking each way for shadows in the moonlight. After just a few minutes he came over a hill and saw a figure standing motionless beside a tree. Draco heard the crunch of the snow and looked up from the gravestone to where Harry had stopped down on the trail. Even from the distance Harry could tell that Draco was not happy to see him.

"You're hard to track down."

"That should be an indication that I don't want to be found."

"But maybe you need to be found. Maybe we need to talk about this."

"It was just a kiss, Potter. Don't worry about it."

"I'm not worried about that. But you were right before. You are my type."

"Really, Potter, you come to a man's grave to say that to me? It couldn't have waited until morning?"

"Are you planning on still being around in the morning?" Draco paused, unsure of how to answer. "Look me in the eye right now and tell me that you're okay. That you're not seriously considering ending your life."

He scowled. "Go away, Harry."

"No."

"I get that you're grateful that my family and I were still around to save your arse that year. And I'm glad it worked out for you, really. But I should have died that night! I should have died rather than watch them kill more innocent people."

"Okay, let's say you're right. What good does killing yourself now do? Would hurting more people really make things right?"

"Like who?"

"Your mother, for one. She lied to Voldemort, risking her own life, for the chance to get into the castle to save you. So I think it's safe to say that she would be completely devastated if you died now. Especially after losing your father last year."

"She's better off."

"And your son. I know he isn't speaking to you now, but do you think that it will help him any to never know the truth? If you die now he is left with a legacy of death and pain."

"His mother will raise him to be strong."

"And me."

"You?" he scoffed.

"Me," Harry nodded. "I'd miss you." Draco's shoulders sagged and his eyes dropped back down to the stone with Justin's name. "You know what I think? I think that you've been trying to die in some way for a long time. You taught yourself how to not get emotionally attached to anyone because you let down the only person you really cared about. You think that by not dying with him you betrayed him and you haven't let anyone in since."

"Go away," Draco sighed. "Just leave me alone."

Harry took a few steps closer. "No. I think you want to let me in."

"I want you to go away."

"And that scares you. Draco, please."

"You don't get it."

"I get that you wish you could have saved him. And that the fact that you didn't says something about you that you don't like. You think I can't understand not being able to protect the people I love?"

"I'm tired, Harry. I'm so tired."

And Harry knew he didn't just mean physically. It was on his face and in his voice. It was the kind of tired you get from years of secrets and lies and self loathing.

"I know. Me too."

"It's not just Justin, you know. How many others died that year because of me? Dumbledore, for one."

"It's over now. None of us are those people anymore. It's time to stop punishing yourself for it." Harry stepped closer and held out his hand. "Let's go."

Draco took one more look down at the gravestone. He sighed.

"You can't do anything for him now."

He turned to Harry and began to take slow steps. He didn't take Harry's hand on his own, but Harry took his and pulled him in close. Before Draco knew it he was feeling the uncomfortable sensation of apparating and he shut his eyes against it. When he opened them again they were in Harry's flat. Draco allowed himself to be led to the sofa and Harry disappeared to the kitchen for tea. Not that tea would fix anything. Draco had nearly fallen asleep by the time Harry left the kitchen with two cups. At the sound of approaching footsteps he jerked awake and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"You can stay here tonight," said Harry, handing Draco the cup.

"Don't be absurd, Potter. If I spend another holiday at your place people will start to talk."

"As if they won't already talk after that kiss in the bar."

Draco glanced at Harry over the steaming tea. "That was all your fault."

"You started it."

"I intended only a simple kiss. You're the one who decided to assault me with your tongue."

"You didn't complain."

"I'm not an idiot. When a gorgeous man wants to kiss me I don't turn him down."

"Gorgeous?"

"As if you don't know that already."

Harry smiled, but turned serious quickly as he got down to the matter at hand. "Did you really want to die?"

"Did? Don't be so quick to put it in the past tense." At Harry's alarmed look Draco quickly clarified. "I won't do anything about it. Not tonight anyway. Besides, you took me away from my chosen method. There is a bridge not far from the cemetery. It's quite high with a very rocky landing. I was going to leave my wand with Justin so I wouldn't be tempted to cushion myself."

"Why?"

"I once read, 'the thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night.'" He sighed. "The thought just wasn't enough anymore."

"You're quoting Nietzsche. Pretty serious stuff. Do you also believe in the death of God?"

Draco gave a half smile at the idea that Harry knew what he was talking about and could keep up with random philosophical quotes. "The idea of God and religion is where we get the notion of objective morality. When we lose faith in those, morality goes with it."

"You can't be a complete nihilist. You believe in absolute right and wrong. You're version of 'right' covers a little more territory than most people's, but even you have your limits."

"Maybe. God is where we often find meaning for life. No God equals no meaning and if life is meaningless then what's the point? Why shouldn't I throw myself off a bridge?"

"Draco…"

He rubbed his forehead tiredly, frowning in thought. "You've never felt that, have you? You've never been so desperate for an escape that you've wanted to die? _You?_ After all that you've done, all that's happened to you?"

"No. I always knew whatever was going on that I would find a way out of it."

"Not even when your marriage failed?"

"No. I did get depressed. It was terrible. You found me drinking alone in the bar, remember? But mostly I was just restless. I knew there was something out there that I needed, but I was still working it all out."

"There comes a point when it just isn't worth it anymore. It hurts too much. Eventually you just go numb. Sometimes the numb is good because you know that hurting is worse. And then sometimes you're so numb you don't even feel human anymore." Against his will, tears fell down his cheek and he wiped them away angrily. He took a sip of tea, more to occupy himself than because he actually wanted it. He set the cup down on the table and leaned back in his seat. "I figured if God, or whoever, sent me to Hell then at least I'd feel something again."

"You need to deal with this. You've had a bad year. And it has apparently brought up a lot of bad memories too. No one can be expected to deal with all of this alone."

Draco's eyebrows shot up. "You're suggesting that I see a therapist."

"It's not so bad. They're confidential and it gives you a chance to work through things."

"You've been to one?"

"We have a psychiatric healer on staff at work. Everyone visits him from time to time for evaluations. The job can be stressful, especially in the advanced units that deal with really bad stuff. We want to make sure no one is about to crack."

"Were you about to?"

"I don't know. I saw someone after the war. A lot of the Aurors show signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after difficult situations and I'm no different. PTSD can show up months and years after a traumatic event, so we make sure our people are taken care of."

Draco scoffed. "You think that's my problem?"

"No, but I think you're depressed. I think that you need help."

They were silent for a few moments. Harry knew that Draco wasn't going to discuss this any further, but he also knew that he had opened the door to getting Draco to find the help he needed. Now that they'd discussed it, Draco would be less belligerent when it came to actually seeing someone. Finally Draco cleared his throat hesitantly.

"I'm sorry I kissed you."

"I'm not. I wish you'd done it a long time ago actually. I just didn't know it before."

Draco looked up. "Is that why you had to come try to save me?"

"I would have anyway. But I wouldn't have known you were in trouble if I hadn't been paying so much attention."

"My own personal stalker. Well, I know you're used to being thanked when you rush in to the rescue, but you'll excuse me if I'm not entirely grateful."

"I don't want you to be grateful. I want you to want to live. But I can't make that happen for you."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. You just don't want to hear someone tell you what you need." Draco didn't acknowledge that. He seemed to be done talking for now. "You ready to turn in?" Harry went to get the spare blanket and pillow that Draco had used only the previous week. "I don't have to work tomorrow, so don't worry about sleeping in."

Draco nodded and Harry awkwardly said good night. Harry headed to the bathroom for his usual nighttime rituals, then stripped down to his shorts and climbed into bed. He knew right away that he wasn't going to be sleeping quickly. He was worrying over Draco, which wasn't a new development in itself, but he also was further concerned because he was beginning to feel something for Draco that was entirely different. He'd been looking at Draco a little differently, it was true. But until Draco gave him his midnight kiss, Harry hadn't realized just how smitten he was. A part of Harry, that part that thought about Draco in that way, was positively obsessed with the fact that the beautiful blond man was laying on his sofa at that moment. So close, and yet Harry knew better than to take advantage of him in his current mental state.

Just as Harry was telling himself that he must put Draco Malfoy out of his mind, his bedroom door creaked open, spilling light from the hall. Harry twisted around on his bed to look at the shadow framed in the doorway. He whispered a quick query as to the intrusion, but Draco stepped forward and shut the door behind him. In the dark once more, Harry could make out Draco's shape moving toward him and then felt the bed dip under another man's weight.

"What are you doing?"

"Sleeping with you."

Harry felt a hand slide across his chest and push him back down when he tried to sit up.

"Draco, don't."

"I've seen you watching me. You watch my ass when I leave the room." Draco climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. He leaned forward so that his mouth was next to Harry's ear. "You lick your lips when you watch me drink. Don't tell me I've imagined that."

"You haven't."

Draco placed a light kiss on Harry's jaw. "I've been watching you too."

"You don't want to do this now. I want you when you're thinking clearly. Not when you're drunk and depressed and going to regret this in the morning."

"This is one thing that I won't regret." He laid another kiss further down Harry's jaw, then his chin and finally his lips. This time there was no hesitation, no pulling away. Harry gave in without resistance. Draco left love bites down Harry's neck and chest before Harry took control and flipped Draco onto his back. He looked down into Draco's gray eyes.

"We shouldn't. Not now."

"I think it's been well established that you want me and I want you. It's more than a little insulting to both of us to imply that my wanting to fuck you has anything to do with my wanting to die. So just do it. Fuck me."

Against his better judgment, Harry kissed him again. Hard. Bruising Draco's lips. While his mouth was busy, his hands trailed down Draco's torso, traveling under his shirt. Draco still had most of his clothes on, a fact that Harry was happy to change. He quickly unbuttoned Draco's shirt and slipped it off his slender shoulders before working his way to the belt. Harry sat back to admire the view. Draco, despite his drinking and apathetic attitude, kept in shape. Harry ran his hands over the toned chest and shoulders. Draco was beautiful, but Harry already knew that really. Seeing him laying there, wanting Harry, already hard for Harry, was so much better than any fantasy he could have ever dreamed up. Any last misgivings about Draco's state of mind went out the window as Harry swooped down to claim another kiss.

Harry unbuckled Draco's belt easily and pulled the jeans down along with his silk shorts. At this moment, as strange as it may be, with Draco lying naked before him, Harry had an epiphany. _This_ was what he was looking for. All those months, years really, looking for something that he couldn't name, much less obtain, and it was right here. It wasn't really a romantic moment for such a revelation. They were naked and flushed and both extremely hard. And this didn't have anything to do with love really. The raw lust between them didn't require any supporting emotion. It didn't matter if it was love or lust or any range of carnal pleasures, for Harry, he knew that he had found something.

"Quit staring, Potter, and just suck it already."

Harry grinned at Draco's vulgar impatience. No, this was most certainly not the ideal moment to come to life-altering realizations. But then, when was the best time to fall in love with your boyhood rival?

**Author's Note: I tried to end on a little more positive note, but I did want to reiterate Harry's statements about seeing a counselor for ****depression and PTSD. My family had a minor freak out when I announced that I was going to see a counselor because, to them, only insane people do that. But there is no shame or weakness in admitting that you need help. In fact, it's a sign of mental health to acknowledge our flaws and learn to deal with them. ...Just thought I'd add that in case anyone needed to hear it today. I know there are days when I still need to remember it.**


	9. Tabula Rasa

**Author's Note: Thanks for the lovely reviews. Didn't have time to reply, as I was trying to edit this chapter quickly. Enjoy!**

Part Nine – Tabula Rasa

Harry woke up to an unfamiliar warmth next to him. It had been weeks since he woke up next to anyone and then it was always in Blake's small flat. The memories of the previous night brought a smile to his face, but there was an underlying feeling of unease. He wasn't completely sure about Draco. He was attractive and, as Harry very recently discovered, an excellent lover. But they had history and Draco had a very screwed up past that was affecting him in ways that even Harry didn't really know.

The previous night's epiphany was not forgotten. How could Harry forget the peace associated with finally finding what he was looking for? But that peace was replaced by an anxiety over the situation. In addition to their history, they led very different lives. Draco needed help for some of his problems, while Harry was a respected member of the community. The thought of what others would say about this relationship, if it should ever get out, was nauseating. And what exactly was this relationship? They were certainly more than friends at this point, but Draco didn't want a committed relationship with only one person any more than he would want to be subjected to Unforgivable curses. And would Harry even want more from him if it was offered? It was far too complicated a question to answer on an empty stomach.

Draco was still sleeping soundly and as peaceful as he looked, Harry opted for leaving bed and cooking breakfast. Twenty minutes later the smell of eggs and toast brought Draco staggering to the kitchen with only his jeans on. Harry looked up at the sound of his name.

"Good morning. I have hangover potion in the bathroom if you need it."

"I knew it. You got me drunk and took advantage of me."

Harry turned around to face Draco, spatula still in hand. He chewed his lip nervously. "How much of last night to you remember?"

"Most of it. I think." He sat down at the kitchen table, brow creased in thought. "I remember the cemetery. You came there… then we came here."

"And you climbed into bed with me."

"I remember that. I remember all of that." Draco looked up at Harry uncertainly. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have come onto you."

"If you regret it, then I'm sorry. I should have stopped it." Draco looked at him, but didn't answer. "But don't regret it because you think I do. The only part I regret is that little voice that says maybe I _did _take advantage."

"No, you didn't."

"Well then let's not waste time with any regrets. As you said last night, we both sort of wanted each other."

"That's true. But I think that I want something different than you do."

"I don't have any expectations, Draco."

"Yes you do. You're still looking for someone to live happily ever after with. I'm obviously not that person."

Harry sighed, turned back to the stove and dished up the eggs. He brought two plates to the table and sat down.

"You got one out of three. Am I looking for… for lack of a better term, my 'happily ever after'? Yes. But the others you got wrong. I do not have expectations of you. Last night was amazing, but I know that you were drunk, in an otherwise bad mental state and not looking for a relationship. And I have to disagree with you once more; it's not obvious at all to me that you are not a person that I could have a relationship with. I think that you don't believe that you can be happy or that anyone else can be happy with you, but I think that you're wrong. Whether it's me or someone else, I think that you would make an excellent partner for someone. You just have to believe in yourself."

Draco snorted. "You're a hopeless romantic, Potter."

"I know. Eat your food."

"What's the hurry?"

Harry swallowed a bite of toast before answering. "Do you remember the part of the evening when you very nearly admitted to needing help?"

Draco stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth. "I'm not seeing a shrink."

"Tabula Rasa," Harry said with a smile.

"What?"

"Tabula Rasa. It's Latin, means 'clean slate.'"

"I know what it means. I just wasn't expecting you to get quite so philosophical this early in the morning. Please let me at least have some coffee before you transition back into existentialism."

"You're the one who quotes Nietzsche, not me. What I mean is it's a new year, a chance to wipe the slate clean and start over."

"Completely arbitrary. I could have come to that conclusion last week or next month or any other day."

"All the more reason to make it today. I'm going to make some floo calls and see about getting you in to see someone."

"Forget it."

"No, you have been increasingly depressed and now suicidal? You need help."

"I won't kill myself."

"Not today. Can you make me any guarantees about tomorrow?"

"Can you? Can anyone?" Harry crossed his arms. Obviously no one could make promises about tomorrow, but that's not really what he was getting at. "Look Potter, I know you're trying to save me. It's in your blood. But I don't need saving."

"I'm not trying to save you, but I do want to help you save yourself."

"Enough with the platitudes! You don't like me. You've never cared whether I lived or died before, quit acting like it means anything now just because we fucked."

"You're wrong. I always cared." Harry smiled. "Just for different reasons."

Draco shook his head and started picking through his eggs with his fork. Harry took a couple bites of his own food, watching Draco's nervous movements carefully. Suddenly Draco put down his fork and looked up into Harry's eyes.

"I don't want you to fall in love with me."

"Why?"

He hesitated, biting his lip. "Because I'm not good for you."

Harry's eyebrows rose.

"Look at us," Draco said, as if that would explain everything. "You have a family to think of. You have a reputation and a job and I am… untouchable. Don't you get that? I'm social suicide."

"And the fact that you're so concerned about my well being has not gone unnoticed. Still, my reputation is pretty well shot anyway, isn't it? I don't know what's going to happen when I come out."

"You have the chance to keep things as they are. If you keep quiet then nothing has to change for you."

"Wow. Last week you were telling me to do it, now I should keep quiet. Thanks for the mixed signals. Or are you just telling me not to so that I'll go away and leave you alone?" Draco scowled. "See, I think what you actually believe is that I should come out. Hiding is stressful and I'd be a lot happier if I just admitted to it all and got it over with. But if you encourage me to come out of hiding then you'd have to admit that you need to stop hiding. And that means getting help and facing things that you don't want to face."

Draco huffed and took a bite of his food. He was taking his time, making a point and Harry gladly waited for it. Finally he set his fork down again and crossed his arms.

"Fine, Potter. Call the shrink. But I'm only going on one condition. If I'm going to get all whole and healed then so are you."

"My mental state is just fine, thank you." He played it cool, even though he knew perfectly well what Draco was getting at and he felt the butterflies start up in his stomach.

"No. You're going to come out. I'm not asking you to carry a big banner in the next parade or anything, but I do expect you to tell your ex. And Weasley."

"I don't see what that will prove."

"It will prove that you're not just reciting a bunch of empty platitudes. If I must face my demons to live a full life then so must you. Tabula Rasa, right?"

Harry shook his head. "Damn you."

"Don't get pissy because I caught you trying to be a hypocrite."

"Fine. It's a deal."

Harry spent a good part of the rest of the morning making floo calls and setting up an appointment for Draco for the next week. He considered waiting to fulfill his end of the bargain until after Draco had completed his, just so the sneaky Slytherin couldn't back out, but then he realized if he didn't just go get it over with _he_ would be the one backing out. So after getting Malfoy out of his flat he found himself standing at Ginny's door. His hands were shaking slightly as he waited for her to answer and when she finally did he just smiled awkwardly at her surprised expression.

"Harry! I wasn't expecting you here today. And you don't usually knock."

"I wasn't sure if Dean would be here and I didn't want-"

"A horribly awkward situation? Thank you, but Dean left a while ago." She motioned him to come into the house and he followed her to the kitchen. "The kids are still at the Burrow."

"I know. I wanted to talk to you."

She looked up from the tea cups she was setting out. "About…?"

"I told you I would come to you first."

She sat down immediately without pouring any tea. "And?"

"I've been putting this off for a while." He ran a hand through his hair. "I need you to know something first, Gin. I didn't want to hurt you. I never did. Even though we're not together anymore, I do love you."

She frowned. "I know all that. Whatever it is, it's fine. I love you."

He bit his lip. She was looking at him so trustingly. Could she even guess what he was about to say?

"I'm… dating." He let out the breath he'd been holding. Somehow the rest of the words got stuck in his throat.

"Okay. I sort of figured that already."

"I mean I'm dating… Oh, fuck it. Gin, I'm dating men."

Her face was completely frozen for a full thirty seconds with that expectant look. Slowly it began to slip. Her forehead crinkled a bit as her eyebrows pulled together. Finally her mouth popped open. It was another ten seconds before she found her voice.

"Would you like to clarify that at all?"

"I'm sorry. I want you to know that I didn't know before. I didn't know, even when we split. But then after… I just knew finally."

She stood rather mechanically and went to the stove. "Tea?"

"Gin? Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Gin."

She turned back to the table and brought the tea with her. "So do you have a… boyfriend?"

"No. I was seeing someone briefly, but it didn't work out."

"Oh?"

"He's a muggle. I've been going mostly to muggle places. I was apparently too secretive with him."

"That happens a lot with muggles," she stated absently.

"No comments about this?"

"What should I say, Harry?" She still wouldn't look him in the eye. "Does anyone else know?"

"I was waiting to tell Ron until after you knew. But one person who we know does know about me."

She looked up then.

"Draco Malfoy frequents muggle pubs these days and we ran into each other awhile back. It wasn't intentional. It's not like I would ever seek him out to confide in. "

"Ron said you've spent some time around him. And he was at your place last week, wasn't he? You're not… seeing him?"

"Not exactly, no. He showed me around and we've become friends, but I told you, I don't have a boyfriend."

Her eyes narrowed on him. "I feel like you're leaving out a key piece of information here, Harry."

"No." He really hated it when she looked at him like that. Like she was looking into his soul. It was even worse than when Draco did the same thing.

"You slept with Draco Malfoy?"

"No. Yes. But it wasn't like that…"

Now she seemed absolutely amused. His awkward embarrassment was apparently enough to make her forget her own questions. She rolled her eyes affectionately and patted his hand on the table top.

"It's really a simple question."

"He's not my boyfriend. He just…" Harry sighed. "Draco is complicated. But he's changed. And he's a good friend now."

"And you have feelings for him."

"Maybe."

"Harry, I don't know what to say." She poured some tea into her cup and took a sip while he waited for her to continue. "Part of me wants to yell and scream at you. My ex-husband has decided he's gay? I ought to kick your arse for putting me through this."

"I wouldn't blame you."

"And then I think, well it's not your fault you're like this. I can't imagine that you woke up one day and decided that I was so horrible that you had to give up on women all together."

"No, of course not. It's nothing to do with you."

"Which is why I'm not angry. Frustrated, a bit confused, but not angry."

"You're not?"

"Well what would that accomplish? We've both moved on emotionally, so I'm not going to be the jealous ex. There's nothing else that makes being angry make sense logically. It's your life and if this is who you are, if this is going to make you happy then you need to pursue it."

He took her outstretched hand in his and squeezed. "I don't deserve you, Ginny."

"I know. Just promise me you will let me know before you talk to the kids about it." He nodded. "The only thing that really bothers about this whole thing is Malfoy. I'm sure you can understand how I feel about him."

"We're not together, Gin. He doesn't want a relationship anyway."

"But if he did, if you were together, I would have some problems with him spending too much time around the children. At least at first. It's not that I don't trust your judgment, it's just that it's Malfoy."

He nodded. She was taking all of this far better than he could have hoped. If her only objection was to the idea of Draco, then Harry had really been lucky. Of course that meant that if the luck didn't hold out, he would have a disastrous time with Ron and that would have to be his next stop. He knew that Rose and Hugo were at the Burrow with his own kids and sent an owl to warn that he was coming. Hermione had answered it with enthusiasm that was practically oozing off of the page. It had been a long time since just the three of them had gotten together for anything. Though his letter had warned that he wanted to discuss something serious with them he feared that Hermione's excitement at having him over would just make broaching the topic even more difficult. He hadn't counted on Ginny's quick thinking.

When Hermione answered the door her face was worried and she pulled Harry into a tight hug. "We just got Ginny's owl," she said.

Harry froze. Ginny knew that he was going to see them next. Could all her kind words have been a lie so that she could out him to his oldest friends?

"What's going on?" Hermione asked. "Ginny's letter said not to let Ron get carried away no matter what you say. So what _are_ you going to say?"

"She owled you?"

Hermione pushed a piece of parchment at him and he scanned it quickly. He smiled as he realized that Ginny had very accurately predicted her big brother's temper and preempted it by informing him that whatever Harry was going to tell him, she approved. She had just given him a free pass to come out and she gave Ron permission to deal with this as a matter between friends, without having to defend her honor as the older brother. He really didn't deserve to have her on his side. Hermione pulled him out of his thoughts and into their living room. Ron was already there, three glasses of firewhiskey poured and waiting for them. Ron's was half empty.

"What does that letter mean?" Ron asked.

"Nothing too terrible."

"It was terrible enough for Ginny to think I needed a warning and a stiff drink."

Harry nodded. Ron motioned for him to drink and Hermione took hers too, though Harry knew she rarely touched the stuff. Maybe a little alcohol was good to calm the nerves.

Ron continued, "Ginny made it clear that she was not hurt by anything you've done, which makes it clear that you did something that could have hurt her. She wouldn't have warned me otherwise. So let's hear it."

"Well, it's got to do with who I've been dating."

"Muggles?"

"Yes, but that's not it. I'm not planning on telling everyone, just you two and Ginny for now because you all have the right to know. You're my best friends and I need to be honest with you and stop hiding."

Hermione sat down next to Ron while Harry took the seat across from them.

"You're really starting to scare me, Harry." She pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear, something she always did when she was getting nervous. "Whatever it is, you know that we love you."

Ron's face said otherwise.

"Okay, well after Ginny and I split up I was confused and looking for something and I did a lot of thinking, soul searching I guess you could say, and I realized… that I like men."

If Harry wasn't nearly ready to vomit he would have found it funny that Ron's initial reaction was so much like that of his sister. He stared straight ahead as if a statue. Hermione was the one who moved first. She turned to Ron and, upon finding no reaction there, she looked back at Harry.

"You were hiding it all these years?"

"No. Maybe from myself, but I wasn't consciously keeping it from anyone else."

She looked back at Ron and so did Harry, but he still wasn't ready to speak.

"And you just told Ginny this? Today?"

Harry nodded. "She knew I was coming here, obviously. Must have wanted to make it easier on me, but I'm sure I don't know why."

"Well is this… Are you okay? I mean, it must be a relief to be able to open up about it."

"You have no idea. I've felt like such an asshole for lying about it for months, but I was so worried about everyone's reaction. Especially you two."

"Don't be stupid, Harry. You're family. There's nothing you could say to change that." She glanced at Ron again, nervously hoping that he wasn't about to make a liar of her. She thought for a moment while Harry sat awkwardly. Ron was still staring.

"You know, it makes sense."

"What does?"

She laughed. "You're going to think this is insane, but there were a few moments at school when I actually thought that maybe you were gay. But then you fell for Ginny and I decided my overworked brain was making things up. Of course that was an odd year."

"Which year?" he asked, trying to figure out what she would have picked up on that he didn't understand for twenty years.

"Well, I first thought it much earlier, but mostly sixth year. I mean, you have to admit the way you were following Malfoy around was a little suspicious."

"We started off that year by him breaking my nose. That's hardly the thing crushes are made of." Harry could feel his face heating up.

"He only broke it after you went sticking it in his business, following him around Knockturn Alley and then on the train. But between that trouble-making Potions book, your meetings with Dumbledore and all the various other love connections going on around us there were too many other things to analyze other than if your obsession with Malfoy was at all homoerotic. It wasn't, was it?"

"No, but thank you for your expert opinion. I think I've just died of embarrassment."

"You're very welcome," she smirked. She looked at Ron again and frowned. "I've just remembered I left the oven on. I'll be back." She gave Ron a rough shove before leaving. Apparently she was all that was keeping him silent. As soon as she was out of earshot his mouth finally opened.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid you'd react a lot like this actually. Or worse."

"How many times did I ask you what was going on in your life and you glossed over it all? I've been trying here. You're my best mate who also happens to be my sister's ex. Do you know what that's like? I'm supposed to hate you, but I can't because you're like my brother. And my brother couldn't even trust me with this." He picked up his drink and finished it off.

"I'm sorry."

"Well that's great, Harry. It doesn't make me feel any less like shit though. My best friend couldn't trust me. And maybe when we were kids I'd have been an ass about it, but you haven't noticed that I've grown up a little? We promised each other after the war that we weren't going to do the secrets and lies thing and I tell you everything. Everything. When Hermione and I are having problems I come to you first. When I screw up with the kids and feel like the worst dad on the planet I go to you. But for the past year you don't come to me anymore. When you moved out I heard from Gin first. And when you started dating again it took you a month before I could finally force it out of you. And even then you neglect to mention that it was a man you were with. And then I find out that there's a reason for that. You've been getting friendly with Malfoy. Do you have any idea how it feels to think your best friend replaced you with the guy you hated your entire childhood?"

"I know. I'm a dick."

"Yeah, you are. At least if you'd told me you were screwing Malfoy I would have known that I wasn't being replaced."

"Ron, I wasn't screwing Malfoy."

"Yeah, right. Don't even lie to me now. He was your dirty little secret for months, he spent the night at your place on Christmas and you blushed five shades of scarlet when Hermione mentioned your sixth year obsession with him. I know I'm the dumb one in this friendship, but I can still add one and one and get two."

Harry chuckled. Ron had succeeded in being both correct and wrong at the same time. He hadn't realized that to other people his relationship with Draco must look that way, as if they'd been sleeping together all this time. "Okay, you got me on some of that, but we're not together. Just friends."

"Mm-hm. The same way I was just helping Hermione 'study' for her N.E.W.T.s when we went in her room and closed the door. I remember how the 'just friends' ploy works, Harry."

"Regardless, I never meant to keep things from you like this, especially for this long. It was just hard to figure out how to deal with it. Are we okay?"

"I ought to punch you in the face for doing that to my sister." He scowled and crossed his arms, slouching back in his chair. "But I suppose that's why she specifically told me not to."

"I guess I really owe her, huh?"

"You talked to her though. She's really okay? She's not just trying to prevent bloodshed?"

"Do you really think she wouldn't have hexed me herself if there was a problem?"

"Good point. So let's not make this a big thing. You like men and I don't really want to hear about it. Especially Malfoy. Nothing has to be different, right?"

"Why would it be?"

"I don't know, you're going to those weird gay bars now and hanging around different people. I don't want that to change things between us."

Harry laughed again. Leave it to Ron to come up with logic like that.

"There's nothing different about any of it except that they're muggles."

"And gay."

"And there's very little difference between gay bars and straight ones, Ron. Some of the clubs are pretty crazy, but so are some of the straight ones I've been to. It's nothing that's going to change me."

"Well then I guess everything's just fine."

Harry stayed with Ron and Hermione for the rest of the afternoon. Rose and Hugo were returned by their grandfather, who stayed briefly to chat with Harry. Hermione forced him to stay for dinner and everything felt normal for the most part. Now and then he caught Ron giving him a funny look, but he dealt with it. He knew that Ron was trying to be okay with it for the sake of their friendship, but in reality it would take him a lot longer to really adjust. When Harry finally returned home that evening he had a surprise waiting for him. Draco was sitting on the front steps of his building, just waiting.

"Was just wondering how that whole blank slate thing was working," Draco said casually.

"Pretty great, considering. It feels good to tell them finally. You?"

"My appointment isn't until Monday, so there's not much to report on."

"Decided not to go out tonight?"

Draco shrugged. "I went to see Mother. Then I just didn't really feel like seeing anyone else."

"And yet you're here."

"I decided that you don't actually count." At Harry's raised eyebrow he added, "And I didn't feel like being alone."

"Come on up." Harry unlocked the front door and led the way up to his flat and let Draco in. He set his keys down on the table and headed for the kitchen. "I can make tea. Or supper. You hungry?"

In answer Draco stopped him with two hands on his hips. "Actually, what I really want is right here. If you don't mind."

Harry turned around and put his arms around Draco's shoulders and kissed him deeply. Draco squeezed Harry ass, pulling him closer and pulled his lips away to attack Harry's neck.

"I didn't think you'd want to again," Harry whispered breathlessly. "Last night was… probably not the smartest thing to do."

"I always want to." He bit down lightly on Harry's ear, eliciting a moan. "But this does not mean that we're boyfriends. Understand?"

"Just friends," Harry agreed, reaching for Draco's belt buckle. Starting over with a clean slate, they could be whatever they wanted.


	10. Getting There

**Author's Note: Hello all! I know I'm a day late, but Happy Birthday to Harry Potter and JK Rowling! :) And thanks to everyone for the nice reviews. Chapter 11 shouldn't be too far behind****, hopefully. Depends on how things go. **

**Chapter Ten – Getting There**

"Where would you like to begin today, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco, sitting very stiffly in his chair, raised an eyebrow at Healer Mader. "You're the shrink. Don't you know?"

It was their second session. The first had just been an hour of background information: where Draco grew up, what his family was like, his marriage, ect. It was nothing that couldn't have been discovered by a careful researcher going through public records. Now it was time to get down to business, which was not something that Draco was looking forward to.

"I find that each person who walks through those doors has unique problems that must be handled in unique ways. I can't know where you need to start until you tell me. I have some ideas based on our previous conversation, but I'd like to know what you think is most important."

"My… friend says that I'm depressed."

It took Harry two floo calls to set up this appointment. The first was to Healer Frank, the official Psychiatric Healer of the Auror department. He recommended Mader and ensured that the man was discreet. Harry made the calls on behalf of Draco, but Harry's name was never mentioned in that transaction. It was one thing to trust someone to remain confidential about Draco's sessions. It was quite another to expect him to keep the gossip of the year under wraps if he connected the dots about the nature of Harry and Draco's relationship.

"And do you think you're depressed?"

"I guess I must be. I've never been the sunshine and flowers type of person, but I haven't been happy in a long time."

"How long?"

Draco thought for a moment, looking absently out the window. "Since I was a kid."

"Forgive me for bringing it up, but you were in the war, correct?"

"Yes."

"Does your depression go back that far?"

"At least. I mean, I had happy moments. A lot of them. I just didn't feel happy most of the time. But that's normal, isn't it? Who can be that happy all the time?"

"No one all the time. But you should be more often than you are sad."

"I'm not sad. I'm just… indifferent."

"That's not healthy either."

"I find that if I have enough to drink I'm not all that concerned by it."

Healer Mader offered a friendly smile and looked down at his notes. "According to your friend who made the appointment for you the alcohol _is_ a concern. He suspects you have also experimented with some muggle narcotics as well."

"He doesn't suspect. He knows. He can be an idiot sometimes, but he's bright enough to know the difference between drunk and high."

"You say he's an idiot, yet you're here taking his advice."

"He's only an idiot sometimes."

"Do you make a habit of being friends with idiots?"

Now Draco's mind wandered to Crabbe and Goyle, two people he hadn't thought of in a long time. They were Draco's only real friends when he was young. At least that was what he thought. He didn't realize how much control he had over people, merely by being a Malfoy, until the power of that name ceased to exist. When his name stopped meaning something Crabbe and Goyle's loyalty shifted quickly. Even so, he mourned Crabbe after the battle at Hogwarts. And he went to the trial when Goyle was sentenced to fifteen years in Azkaban. Draco heard rumors that he moved out of the country when he was released from prison. He didn't really get close to anyone after the war. He had his family and business associates, but friends?

"I don't really have any friends," Draco admitted finally. "Just the one."

"Everyone needs companionship."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I have no trouble finding someone to spend time with."

"You mean sex partners?" Draco nodded. "How many different people would you say that is?"

"Too many to count. Though I'm sure you'll tell me that isn't healthy either."

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On your motives. I'm not here to judge your sexual practices or tell you how many is too many. But I would like to know your reasons for your actions and how it affects you. Why do you think you sleep with so many people?"

"I like sex."

"How long have you done this?"

Draco sighed as he sorted through the memories. When had he first gone out in search of something to fill the void? It was after the war. His friends were all dead or in prison. Justin was dead. His family name was ruined.

"After school. I just wanted variety. And then I married my wife."

"And you were faithful?"

"For a time."

"How long?"

"A year. I had affairs for three years after that and I stopped when my son was born."

"Why?"

"I thought I should try to be around, try to look like a normal family."

"And you weren't normal?"

"Nothing ever _felt_ normal."

"Why did you cheat on your wife?"

"I told you I like variety."

"Were you not attracted to her?"

Draco shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I… was at some point, but she wasn't… I wasn't in love with her. I married her because that is what my family does. We marry and have at least one child to pass on the family legacy." He let out a harsh laugh. "Of course, saying it like that makes me wonder why I bothered. It is not as if there is much left of the family or legacy."

"Since you are divorced, I take it that you went back to your old ways."

"A few years ago I started a discreet affair with one of our employees. It was the first time in at least seven years that I cheated and I didn't feel guilty."

"You wanted to hurt her?"

"No, but I don't believe she was really hurt. I am nearly certain that she knew the affair was going on."

"Why?"

"Astoria would make comments, little snide remarks. More than once she said that I smelled badly and I should shower. It was right after having met with the person in question."

"You very carefully avoid using a gender specific pronoun in connection to your lover."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Is there a question attached to that?"

"Should there be?"

"Yes, I was fucking a man. All of them were men. Astoria is a lovely woman when she's not being a complete bitch, but she just wasn't my type."

"And you're exclusively with men now?"

He sighed, bored with the conversation. "If a woman comes along who interests me I will consider her. Until that time, yes."

"You don't seem to want to discuss this."

"My sexuality? No, I prefer not to."

"Do you think it could have something to do with your depression?"

Now Draco snorted in amusement. "Yes, everyone knows 'gay' is code for 'depressed'."

"Of course it's not. But how you feel about being gay can contribute a great deal to your current mental state. How _do_ you feel about it?"

"I feel gay. I like men and I like that I like men."

"Do you? There isn't any part of you that wishes your life was different in some way? Or maybe you have worked through those internal conflicts about your sexuality, but there is still the matter of what the outside world thinks. How many people know?"

"I'm sure a good deal know, since the paper was fond of spreading rumors after my divorce."

"That's how many people speculate. How many in your life _know_?"

Draco didn't even need to stop and count. "Four. And my father before he died."

"I see. Are they close to you?"

"Astoria was furious when she caught me in the affair. Not because I was having an affair, but because I allowed myself to be caught. She told my parents and eventually my son. And my one friend knows. He's the only one I actually told."

"Are you afraid of others finding out?"

"I'm not afraid of anything. I worry what people will say to my son if it is widely known."

"So you stay closeted to protect your reputation for his sake. That sounds exhausting."

"Not really. I spend much of my time among muggles so I won't be caught and I don't get close enough to any of them to worry about outing myself as a wizard."

"So that is why you sleep around?"

"At least partly. And I like variety."

"How did your parents handle the news?"

Draco paused. The conversation was getting more and more unpleasant by the minute. "My mother still won't completely acknowledge it. She prefers not to mention my dating habits at all."

"And your father?"

"He… died shortly after the revelation." Confidentiality or no, Draco wasn't going to reveal the cause. His family could be spared that embarrassment at least. "He never commented on what he thought of it. He had become a bit withdrawn toward the end. No doubt my news contributed to his overall decline."

"Do you blame yourself?"

He was about to respond with a venom-laced "of course not," but he stopped himself, wondering if it would be the truth. Surely Lucius' suicide had many contributing factors and whether his sexuality was one of them, Draco would never actually know, but he had thought for a while that his own blame in the suicide was more than just his coming out. He shared Lucius' blame for what had happened to their family and that gave Draco his share of blame for his father's death too. There wasn't much he could have done about his father's involvement with the Death Eaters. That was all determined long before he was born. But maybe he could have done something about the outcome.

There really were only two options, two ways that Draco could have saved his father. He could have succeeded in killing Dumbledore and gotten back into Voldemort's graces. Maybe the war would have turned out differently and his family would be considered heroes. Not that Draco wanted to imagine a world under Voldemort's rule. He didn't want to think of all the other people who would have died. Or he could have gone to Dumbledore as soon as he was assigned to kill. He knew the moment Voldemort threatened his family that he didn't want to be a part of that. At the very least he could have accepted Dumbledore's help a little sooner on that terrible night on the Astronomy Tower. If he'd taken Dumbledore's protection, if his family had switched sides early, then they could have saved their name. Lucius could have made up for all the horrible things he'd done in the past and maybe he wouldn't have had to kill himself. Maybe if Draco had just done that one thing differently…

Draco looked back up at Healer Mader, who was still waiting for an answer. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Maybe I do a little."

* * *

It had been several weeks since Harry came out, but when Harry asked Ron to go out for drinks in the middle of the week, Ron was not expecting Harry to insist on choosing the bar. And he certainly didn't expect it to be one of _those_ bars. Harry knew that he was completely straight, right? He made a couple weak jokes about Harry trying to get him to convert, but it did little to cover his real discomfort. Truthfully, Harry only wanted Ron to feel more comfortable with him. He could see a little tension between them and he figured that showing Ron that his new life was not all that strange would be a good way to break some of that tension. Unfortunately, Ron's nerves as they approached the bar were anything but reassuring.

"You don't think of me any differently now that I'm out, right?" Harry asked.

"Of course not."

"Well, then it stands to reason that the people at this bar are going to be just as normal as any other people. The fact that they're gay should have nothing to do with it."

"It's not that. It's just… It's a bar. You know what happens when you go out to a bar."

"You drink, you have fun, you go home."

"Oh sure, Harry. Tell me that's all you go to a bar for."

Harry grinned broadly. "You're afraid you're going to get hit on?"

"Well it's a possibility. I'm not a complete dog."

"No, you're not. There's a very good chance. Are you telling me you don't know how to say no? I mean, I know Hermione doesn't really let you say it to her, for any reason, but you used to know how to handle yourself in just about any situation."

"I can say no. It's just… awkward."

"I don't know, Ron. It sounds like… you're… scared."

"I'm not scared."

"It's just a room full of gay men. And occasionally one of them brings their straight friend."

"Really?"

"Mostly girls who think it's fun to have a gay best friend. She usually is at least as flamboyant as he is and giggles obnoxiously. She thinks we're all just so cute."

"That's… weird."

"Yeah. This guy Liam brings his friend, Tara, a lot. She was flirting with Draco quite a bit. A lot of the guys think it's fun, but not him. He told her that unless she grew a penis she needed to stop batting her eyes at him. And she also needed to stop hoping that Liam would suddenly realize that she was perfect for him because there was nothing more annoying that a straight girl hopelessly in love with a gay man. Liam hasn't been in with her since."

"So you're saying that even among muggles, Malfoy is a prat who sends people screaming in the opposite direction."

"Pretty much."

"Then what the hell do you see in him?"

They had reached the bar and Harry paused a moment to answer him, his hand on the door. "I'm not sure. He grows on you after a while."

Ron shook his head and followed Harry into the bar. Now, since it was the middle of the week the place was not very crowded. There was some music playing and a few people were playing billiards and Ron was relieved to see that there wasn't anything overtly gay about it. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't as tame as the reality. The reality was almost as boring as the Leaky Cauldron. It was just a bar and there was only drinking going on.

Ron rolled his eyes when it became apparent that Harry attracted the same kind of attention among muggles that he did in Diagon Alley. As soon as they walked in a couple men looked up from their drinks to greet him. Ron was introduced to everyone as Harry's oldest friend and they continued to the bartender who also smiled and greeted Harry by name. Once they each had a drink Harry's tone turned serious and he addressed the bartender.

"You seen Draco tonight?"

"He hasn't been in all week."

"I know, but I thought he might have tonight."

Cameron gave Harry a long, speculative look and finally sighed. "You didn't listen to my advice, did you?"

Ron noticed how Harry looked away quickly and sipped his drink. "Oh look, Patrick is here."

"You're going to get screwed. And not in the fun way."

"I can handle it. Just, if you see him, let me know."

He pulled Ron toward an empty table and they settled in.

"What was that all about?"

"He thinks Draco is a bad influence. Told me weeks ago not to get involved."

"I agree."

"Well it's a good thing this is _my_ life then, huh?"

Ron opened his mouth to respond, but the words never came out. He turned when a voice called out Harry's name and saw something more like what he had been expecting. The man walking toward them was… well, Ron wasn't sure how to classify him. His eyes were outlined in black and there was (in Ron's opinion) an obscene amount of shadow and glitter all over his eyelids. His shirt was black see-through and he wore a little silver ring through each nipple. Harry smiled, unsurprised by the man's appearance.

"Hi Ben."

"Harry, I didn't think I'd see you out here tonight, dear. Middle of the week and all. I thought you were being respectable and keeping New Year's resolutions."

"I can't be good all the time. And I have brought my friend, Ron, out to witness the debauchery."

Only then did Ben fully notice that Ron was there.

"Oh, you're the friend!" He turned back to Harry. "And he's cute too. You didn't tell me that you had cute friends."

Ron leaned further away from Ben, at a loss for how to respond. Luckily Harry rescued him.

"I'm sorry, Ben. Ron is happily married."

"Oh, you're the_ married_ friend. You're too cute to be married. But does that mean that you finally came out, Harry? I'm so proud of you, hon."

Harry accepted a hug from him. "Don't get too excited. I'm not out at work. Just a couple friends."

"Well, baby steps, Sweetie. Baby steps." He patted Harry on the head, still standing entirely too close in Ron's opinion. "Not all of us can be as flamingly obvious as me. Closets just can't contain some of us."

That was the first thing Ben had said that Ron could completely agree with.

"Well," Ben continued, "I see you're busy, baby. If you see that _other_ friend of yours, do send him my way, will you?"

Harry hesitated, but answered in the affirmative and Ben swaggered off across the room, swinging his hip and loudly greeting someone else. Harry glanced at Ron, understanding that he was a bit horrified by the whole thing.

"Yeah, Ben can be a little…"

"Cliché?"

"Good word for him. He never outgrew his youthful club 's overwhelming at times, but ya gotta love him."

"If you say so, mate."

"He's a good guy. He's really out there in terms of personality, but he's got a big heart. He's just a genuinely good person and that's hard to find. If you get to know him, you just love him."

Ron turned around and scanned the room again, watching Ben laughing with some friends. He certainly wasn't comfortable with this whole thing, but at the same time any of the reservations he felt about Harry's new life were gone. Whatever horrors he pictured when Harry talked about going to a gay bar had disappeared with the reality of it. Not that it was his duty to protect Harry, but he did feel defensive about his best friend having some other life that he didn't know and couldn't understand. And even though he knew that Harry did not need it, Ron realized that he approved. If Harry had to explore this attraction to men—something Ron would _never_ understand—then at least he had people who cared about him.

Of course just as Ron was about to share these thoughts the bar door opened and in walked a very familiar face. Ron spun back around in his seat.

"The ferret is here."

Harry turned and smiled. Ron looked away. There was absolutely no way he could see Harry kiss Malfoy. Luckily the moment passed with no meeting of lips and he looked back up to see Malfoy scowling at him.

"Congratulations, Potter. You managed to turn Weasley gay. You've accomplished the impossible, but you have absolutely no taste."

Ron didn't even look up from his drink. "He must not have taste if he's been hanging around you."

"Play nice, boys. How about you join us for a drink, Draco?"

"I would, Harry, but I don't think your friend would appreciate it." He sent a particularly nasty scowl toward Ron. "I just thought I'd inform you that I am still alive… much to my disappointment."

"Well I'm glad you are." Harry reached across the table and set a hand on Draco's arm. Ron noticed the way Draco allowed the touch for just a few moments before pulling away. He also noticed the way Harry's hopeful expression dropped slightly, but he remained silent. "Oh and Ben told me to send you his way."

"Perfect. I was just thinking of him today. I need a blow job. Excuse me."

"Wait." Harry grabbed Draco's hand as he was walking away. "How did things go today?"

Draco looked pointedly at Ron. "I don't think this is the time or place."

"I didn't ask for details. Is it helping at all?"

"No. It was excruciating. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No. It's been a few weeks; I was hoping it would start to help."

"Yes, it's helping a lot to remember all the places in my life in which I fucked up. Thanks, Potter. It was a great idea." He roughly freed his hand from Harry's grip. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see if Ben is doing anything or anyone tonight. You two have fun."

Ron followed Harry's gaze to the opposite side of the room where Draco was already laying on the charm with a couple men. He knew that look on Harry's face. He'd just been turned down and he was not happy, but there was something more. Harry was falling for Malfoy, if Ron had to guess. That thought in itself was alarming, but what exactly was going on here?

"So he just goes to, what? Pick someone up? And you're okay with that?"

"There's nothing to be upset about. I told you, Draco and I are not a couple."

"But you're sleeping together. And he's sleeping with other people."

"Yes. And I could too if I wanted."

"But you don't."

"Actually I have. Not in the last few days, but I have. He always gets like this after his appointments."

"What appointments?"

"Nevermind. It's private and I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"I don't like it."

"Excuse me?"

"You like him and you just let him run off with other people. That's not right."

"Not everyone has some perfect monogamous marriage. Some relationships are different. We don't have any formal commitment, much less an agreement of monogamy. It's more like a friendship with sex."

"And I'm supposed to believe that you're okay with this?"

"I am. At least for now. If we decide that we like each other more than that I will reevaluate that assessment."

"Ginny thinks you love him."

"Ginny doesn't know everything."

"When it comes to you she does."

Harry laughed. "If we've learned nothing else from recent revelations it is that Ginny does not know everything about me."

Harry looked back at Draco and frowned. It was so plain what was going on. Ron couldn't tell if it was actually jealousy that he was seeing, but it was certainly some strong form of affection and concern. Maybe Harry was telling the truth about not being jealous of Malfoy sleeping around, but Ron couldn't be sure. He glanced back at Draco and did a double take when he saw something surprising there. The average person might not pick up on the subtlety of it, but Ron caught the brief shift of Malfoy's eyes. The man he was speaking to didn't notice and Malfoy's concentration on the conversation did not suffer at all, but he was sneaking glances at Harry, making sure Harry was watching. Ron turned back to Harry, but he was facing forward again sipping from his drink.

Ron sighed. He couldn't really say anything about it. After all, Harry was a grown man capable of making his own choices and Ron had promised that his sexual self-discovery wouldn't change their relationship. But this was bad. Probably the worst thing he could even imagine. Malfoy and Harry were falling in love with each other. And neither of them probably knew it.

"Nope," Ron muttered into his drink. "Don't like it one bit."


	11. You See Me

**Chapter Warnings: The first half of this chapter is significantly more M-rated than the rest of the story so far. In case anyone is worried about that. :)**

**Proposition 8 in California was reversed this week! Yay! I celebrate by writing slash! :)**

**Chapter Eleven – You See Me**

Harry and Ron didn't make a full night of it. They made it home only a little after Ron's Hermione-imposed curfew and he was only slightly more inebriated than she generally preferred, meaning that they only had a five minute lecture on how disappointed she was. After that Harry returned home and fell gracelessly into bed.

At about three a.m. he was awaken by movement next to him in the bed and he sat up quickly. Just has he had, a hand fell on his shoulder, pushing him back down. Draco? The man shushed him and then climbed on top of him. It was definitely Draco and the alcohol on his breath was strong.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I was planning on fucking you."

Harry's brain was still foggy from the alcohol, but he distinctly remembered not bringing Draco home with him. "I thought you went out with Ben tonight."

"I did."

Draco leaned in for a kiss, but Harry pushed him back. "Unbelievable. You go from his bed to mine within hours?"

"If you don't want sex then just tell me."

"I want sex. I just think it's a little off to go through men as fast as you do breath mints. Don't you think that's just a little… dirty?"

Draco pulled back from him. "I think I'm insulted for me and for Ben. You don't think I'm careful? I may be a slut, but Ben and I both know how to play safe."

"It's not that." And it wasn't mostly. With the exception of HIV, muggle STD's were quite curable with potions. Harry had always been very careful about using magical and muggle protections and he did not fear that he was going to catch any disease. "This isn't about condoms or anything of the sort. This is about the fact you're here, mauling me an hour after you had your cock up his arse."

"So now I want it up your arse. What's the problem?"

"What's the….? Where do I begin? I can still smell his cologne on you."

Draco climbed off the bed and reached to find his discarded jacket and shirt. "I knew you wouldn't be able to handle this. I knew the second you had me you would claim ownership and start telling me how to live."

Harry reached for his wand on the nightstand and turned the light on. "This is not about exclusivity. If Ron wasn't with me tonight I may very well have brought someone home myself. But I wouldn't have gone to your house begging for sex right after."

"You weren't going to bring anyone home because you were busy worrying about who I was with and if I'm going to get healed seeing your shrink."

"Actually I wasn't, but if we're going to start in on that angle then let's go ahead and talk about you. You must be thinking about me an awful lot if your normal fucks aren't good enough. You had to come running over here."

"Because I'm horny, Potter. Don't read anything more into that. This is who I am, who I've been for a long time. If you're just going to try to change me because we're sleeping together then forget it. I can find a better fuck with less baggage."

"But you're still going to end up back on my doorstep."

"Doubtful." Draco pulled his shirt on over his head. "You're not that good."

"That's not what you said the other night."

"Go find someone else to fix."

"I don't want to fix you. I want you to be happy."

"Well fucking multiple men in one night makes me happy. Very happy."

Harry stood to face Draco. "It gets you high. You need to be high to feel anything close to happy and it doesn't matter if it's adrenaline or crack as long as you don't have to deal with what you really feel."

"Yes, let's talk about feelings. You're as bad as a woman!"

"At least I know what I feel. I don't ooze sentiment, but I'm at least in touch with it. I don't bury it for twenty years and let it destroy me."

Draco laughed. "Yes, you're perfectly well-adjusted."

"No, but I know where I need to work on things in my life. I'm not hung up on a dead boy I fucked twenty years ago."

"Now you're making this about Justin? Un-fucking-believable! This has nothing to do with him." Draco threw his jacket across the room for emphasis.

"It has everything to do with him! And Astoria and your father and Scorpius. It has to do with you and your inability to take responsibility for your own life."

"I take responsibility, Potter."

"You do not. You piss and moan about Astoria or your mother stopping you from seeing your son, but you don't do anything to fight them. You still stand at a dead man's grave two decades later because you can't accept what happened. And you fuck everyone because it's less painful than actually feeling something for them!"

"I don't need to feel anything for them!"

Harry continued on as if Draco hadn't spoken. "And that's why you're here, why you keep coming back, why you let yourself become my friend. You felt something. You feel something for me, but that scares the hell out of you, so you run off to Ben to prove that it's all just sex."

"It is just sex!"

"I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend or be exclusive, but at least admit that you feel something for me."

"I'm not admitting to your fanciful delusions!"

"Admit it!"

"No!"

Without really thinking about what he was doing, Harry took a step forward, grabbed Draco by the shoulders and kissed. Draco flinched, but then pushed back. At first Harry thought he was being pushed away, but he realized that Draco was coming with him. He was moving them roughly toward the bed. They broke the kiss as they tumbled down onto the mattress.

"Damn you, Potter," Draco mumbled.

"Shut up, Malfoy."

Draco bit down on Harry's bottom lip in response. He ran his hands over Harry's bare chest and neck before cupping his face with both hands and kissing again. It was hard, brutal. There was no tenderness in their interaction at all, only lust. He paused only briefly enough for Harry to pull his shirt off of him. Harry was only wearing a pair of cotton pajama bottoms, but Draco couldn't get them off fast enough. As soon as he was free of all clothing, Harry took charge again, flipping Draco onto his back. He knew, as he removed Draco's trousers, that he was giving Draco exactly what he had come there for to begin with. But it didn't matter anymore.

"Get on your knees, Malfoy," Harry growled.

Draco sat up and leaned in for another kiss. Harry returned it, but then roughly shoved him down on the bed so that he was on all fours with his arse in the air. Behind him, Draco heard Harry reach for the lube and a moment later he felt a cool, lube-coated finger at his back entrance. Impatient, as always, Draco pushed back on it.

"You're such a fucking slut, Malfoy."

"And you're fucking me, so what does that say about you?"

Harry slapped his arse hard, leaving an angry red mark on pale skin. Draco only groaned in response and pushed back on the finger inside him. Harry added a second finger, loving the soft grunt from Draco

"Such a slut," Harry muttered. He removed his fingers and quickly coated his cock in lube and before Draco had the chance to become impatient, Harry was inside him. Draco moaned as Harry began to slide out and then gasped as he thrust back into him. He grabbed a fistful of sheets and pillow, tightening his grip to the point of ripping the fabric. Harry had a similar grip on Draco's hip and reached a hand up to his shoulder, digging his fingernails into Draco's flesh.

"Fuck, Harry," Draco moaned. "Touch me."

Harry reached an arm around do as Draco requested, still keeping his other hand in a painful grasp on Draco's hip. He stroked Draco's cock in time with his thrusts. He was grunting half sentences, hardly knowing what he was saying anymore. He knew the words "slut" and "whore" had passed his lips, but anything beyond that was anyone's guess. Draco was gasping out profanities and threats, but when he came it was with Harry's name on his lips. Draco's muscles tightened around Harry's cock and Harry came a few moments later. After riding out his orgasm, Harry released Draco's hip and allowed them to fall down onto the bed. They lay there, catching their breath in silence. It didn't take long before they both fell asleep.

Draco had only dozed off for a couple hours, making it easy to get up before Harry and be out the door. He went home first, attempting to sleep there, but didn't have any luck with that. He showered and scowled at the angry, black bruise Harry had left on his hip. Though his initial reaction was annoyance, it quickly changed to arousal as he remembered the previous night. The sex had been amazing, but that argument before… Harry couldn't have actually been right about any of that, could he? Of course not. Even so, some of Harry's words had bruised worse than the mark on his hip.

Without really giving much thought to the fact that he didn't have an appointment, he marched straight to Healer Mader's office at the beginning of the day and verbally abused the secretary when she tried to stop him.

"You're an idiot," Draco announced as soon as he had sat down in front of the psychiatric healer.

"I don't believe we have anything scheduled today Mr. Malfoy."

Draco ignored him. "Why the hell did he bother sending me here if he already knew what was wrong with me?"

"Your friend?"

"He thinks he's gotten me all figured out. Well, I still think half of what he said was complete shit. He says I have feelings for him."

"Do you?"

"No. I want him."

"Why?"

"Why does anyone want anyone else?"

"Looks, sexual ability, money, personality. I'm sure there are many others. Which is it?"

"He's good in bed."

Healer Mader nodded. "The best?"

"I… I don't know. I don't rate each one. He's… in the top ten, I'd say."

"But not the best, so it can't be just that. Looks?"

"He's good-looking. But no, not the most good-looking man I've been with."

"Money?"

"No."

"That leaves personality. Maybe there is something about who he is that makes you want him even more than others who may be more visually appealing or sexually satisfying. That sounds like having feelings for him."

Draco glared. "Aren't we clever?"

"You came to me, not the other way around. If you don't like what I say then come back when we actually have an appointment."

"I hate that I told him about Justin."

"That's your teenage lover?" he asked. Having not expected Draco today, he didn't have his notes in front of him.

Draco nodded. "He says I visit his grave so I don't have to actually care about anyone else."

"Interesting. Do you?" Draco shrugged. "How often do you visit the grave?"

"Once a week or so lately. Up until New Year's."

"For someone who has been dead since your school years? That's unusual."

"Har—my friend thought so too."

"I'd say he's right. After so long people usually only go on special occasions: anniversaries, birthdays."

"Well I didn't always. Just the past few years."

"What changed?"

"I knew that I couldn't be happy with Astoria, or likely with any woman."

"I see, so the trips to Justin's grave coincided with your recommitment to homosexuality."

"So to speak."

"I think your friend may be onto something. Do you maybe use your closeness to Justin to justify not getting close to other men?"

"I don't think so, but I'm sure you'll tell me how wrong I am."

Dr. Mader shrugged.

"I didn't think I was in love with Justin, you know. We never said that. There was never a commitment."

"But there were some feelings. And no doubt his sudden death amplified them. And maybe… your guilt for your part in his death." Draco looked up, glaring. "When you explained about the interrupted suicide attempt you indicated that you felt partially responsible for Justin."

"I was. It's only right I face that."

"But there's no one left to punish you for it so you punish yourself." Draco remained silent. "There comes a time, Draco, when you have to forgive yourself so you can move on."

"How do I do that?"

"Ask Justin to forgive you. And then let go."

"And then I'll be fixed?"

"No. But it would be an excellent start."

Within an hour of leaving Healer Mader's office Draco found himself at the cemetery, standing in front of Justin's grave. He hadn't come out there since Harry caught him on New Year's and a fresh blanket of snow had fallen since then. It was covering part of Justin's name and Draco brushed it away carefully with a gloved hand. When he thought of Justin it was hard not to remember the last time he saw the boy, but he hated that. He hated the shame and fear connected with it. He tried to remember the good times, the secret meetings at Hogwarts and that one short school year they had together…..

_Draco arrived at the Astronomy Tower several minutes after curfew. It was the end of May and the night had remained unusually warm after sunset. He'd been so busy inside that he'd hardly noticed how nice the weather had turned. A part of him knew that he should be inside still trying to work things out, but he needed this break._

_Justin was standing at the edge, looking out over the dark school grounds and turned around at Draco's entrance. He raised an eyebrow at Draco's appearance, hair mussed and out of breath._

"_Where have you been? I thought I'd been stood up."_

"_I had to ditch Potter before I could get away."_

"_I thought he'd backed off after that whole bathroom incident." _

"_Well tonight he was feeling particularly nosey. Apparently his girlfriend let him off his leash."_

"_I wish you would just tell me what happened. I mean, I know you've never gotten on well, but for him to curse you like that…"_

"_I thought I made it clear we weren't going to talk about that." Draco moved closer and put his arms around Justin's neck._

"_He got detention for the rest of the year. Clearly it was worth talking about."_

"_Not now," Draco murmured. He leaned in for a kiss that Justin returned eagerly. Any thoughts of Potter were immediately gone and replaced with raw lust. Draco quickly conjured cushions for the hard stone floor and continued the snogging session in a more comfortable position. Making love to Justin was just what the term suggested, Draco had discovered. He had never felt that way about Pansy or Astoria. They were just fucks, a way to pass time. With Justin he felt like he actually connected._

_Afterward they lay sweaty and naked and stared up at the stars. Necessary spells had been cast to warn them if anyone should approach so they could relax and just be together. It was perhaps the only time that Draco could let himself fully relax. They'd been silent for several minutes and they weren't particularly close. They weren't big on cuddling, but Justin would often rest his head on Draco's outstretched arm._

"_Why is Harry following you?"_

_Draco spared a brief glance to Justin and went back to the sky. "He thinks he's going to catch me doing something evil. He thinks if he follows me enough he'll have the answers to go to Dumbledore with."_

"_If he's so convinced why doesn't he just tell Dumbledore anyway?"_

"_He probably has. It would explain the increased annoyance that Snape has become."_

"_Snape?"_

"_He's been trying to counsel me. As if I'd trust him."_

"_And you think Dumbledore asked him to?"_

"_I think Snape has many reasons for wanting to fuck with me and I do not pretend to know all of them."_

"_And if Harry does catch you, what will he find?"_

_Draco turned his head finally to look fully at Justin. It physically hurt to have to hide everything, but it was the only way. _

"_Potter is not going to catch me. I'm smarter than he is."_

_Justin rolled over and propped his head up on his hand. With his free hand he traced the fresh scar on Draco's chest. _

"_They say that he cursed you because you tried to curse him first."_

"_That is true."_

"_There's a rumor that you were using an Unforgivable."_

"_Also true," Draco whispered._

"_Why?"_

"_Because he was going to ruin everything."_

"_I wish you would tell me. I'm afraid that you're involved in something illegal or dangerous."_

_Draco took Justin's hand. "Just know that whatever I do it's because I have to." He brought Justin's hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. "You don't have to worry about these things. Your family are muggles, they aren't involved."_

"_You're not really working for You-Know-Who, are you?" For the first time Justin sounded scared and Draco had to think carefully before answering._

"_Anything I do is for survival. I work for no one."_

"_But the secrecy… all the stuff in the Room of Requirement…"_

"_All of that is what I have to do. If you can't trust that, then I understand. Things are… dangerous right now. We all have to look out for ourselves and our own. And if that means that you can't be around me, then I understand and I wouldn't hold that against you."_

"_You wouldn't hurt me." He was trying to sound confident, but the small sliver of doubt hurt Draco more than he could have thought._

"_No. I would never hurt you."_

"_I trust you, Draco," he whispered._

_They were silent for several more minutes while Draco went back to stargazing and Justin stroked his hair._

"_Whatever it is, you should go to Dumbledore for help." Draco didn't answer. "He would help you, you know. Whatever is going on, whatever you've done, he would forgive it."_

"_He would be a fool to believe anything I said at this point."_

"_Maybe you should anyway. Just try."_

"_Why is this so important to you suddenly?"_

"_I just have a feeling… like it's going to end soon. This," he gestured between them, "is going to end. Isn't it?"_

_Draco pulled away and sat up. He knew that in all likelihood Justin was correct. He had been making progress on the vanishing cabinet and when it was completed he would have no excuse to wait longer. Maybe Dumbledore would believe him, or maybe he would have Draco arrested. Or maybe it wouldn't matter because his parents would be as good as dead anyway. No, he had to continue with the plan, even if it meant he would never see Hogwarts, or Justin, again._

"_Yes, it will end."_

"_And you will be a Death Eater for real?" They both looked at the Mark on Draco's arm. It was amazing that Justin allowed himself to ignore it for so long. It was always the reminder between them of where Draco was from and why Justin would never be welcome there._

"_I'll… do what I have to for survival."_

"_But you'll be one of them."_

_Draco could feel the tears betraying him, ready to spill down his cheeks. He closed his eyes, willing them away. How could he be one of them? How could he follow someone whose core principles meant death for Justin and all like him? But if he had to chose between Justin and his own parents' lives…_

"_I will never be one of them."_

"_You always wanted to be, didn't you?"_

_Draco looked back down at him, agonized. "I would _never_ hurt you," he repeated._

"_If you told me, I could help. I could try."_

"_There is no help for me now. I have chosen my fate."_

Draco stared at the tombstone for a long time, remembering. His mind replayed the scene with Dumbledore a week later when he almost found his way out of the mess he'd made.

"_Come over to the right side, Draco…you are not a killer…"_

For one single second Draco had allowed himself to believe that there was a way to have both things he wanted. His family safe without betraying Justin? For that one moment, when he began to lower his wand, he could see a future for himself that was not filled with fear and self-hatred. In the next moment it was taken away from him again. And in the years since then, Draco had never left it behind him.

"Apparently my little visits are not healthy," he said quietly. He never talked to Justin at the grave. Once or twice maybe, but it wasn't a normal thing. "I've been seeing a therapist the past few weeks. He says that I should be over you by now. He says that I can't heal until I let go."

He knelt down, snow be damned. "I'm sorry, Justin. In all the years I've come here I couldn't say it. I couldn't take responsibility. Because you were right. I should have gone to Dumbledore. I should have told you everything, but I thought I was protecting you and myself. I thought it was the only way. I was so… scared. And I was so in love with you. And I was scared of being in love with you, you see? And I know it was just a school boy… thing, whatever you want to call it. It was first love and maybe we would hate each other now. Maybe it would have only lasted the school year and we would have moved on to someone else. Maybe, in the big picture, it would have meant nothing. But it does mean something because it was never finished. You died when I was still in love with you and because of that a little part of me went with you."

Draco was wiped angrily at the tears that he had not given permission to fall.

"And it's my fault. I should have fought for you. I should have been a better man, even then. I think you would understand. You would get that I did it for my family, right? All the lives that were lost because of me… I can't take it back, but I would if I could. And I'm sorry. I promised I would never hurt you, but I let them hurt you and that's the same thing. And even though I never said it, I loved you."

Draco didn't knock when he got to Harry's flat that night. It was nine and he found Harry sitting up reading in bed. Draco paused in the doorway, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted.

"You ran off quickly this morning."

Draco grunted in response.

"I think we need to talk about some things."

Another grunt and Draco was coming closer, taking off his outer layers of clothing along the way.

"What's wrong?"

When Draco reached the bed he sat down on the edge next to Harry and kissed him, throwing every bit of energy he had left into it. When Harry finally broke away, he found Draco staring at him, eyes scared and searching. They were red and though Harry first thought he'd been drinking, there was no scent of alcohol on him.

"You're not my boyfriend," Draco said finally. He'd made that abundantly clear in recent weeks, but sounded as if he really needed to say it. Whether he was convincing Harry or himself, Harry wasn't sure. "I'm still me and that means, at least now, that I'm not going to be anyone's boyfriend. I'm still going to sleep with whomever I want."

"I know."

"And I want you. I'm fucked up and broken, but I want you."

"Why?"

"Because. You see me. You have more reason to hate me than just about anyone, but instead you see me. Not the Mark, not my father, but me."

"I see you the same today as I did last night. What changed?"

Draco took a long time answering. He climbed fully onto the bed, straddling Harry's lap. He moved in closer, licking his lips and pausing with his mouth nearly on Harry's cheek. "I want to be happy."

Harry swallowed thickly as his hand moved up to stroke Draco's face. This was what he wanted Draco to say all along, yet he still had some misgivings. "You think I can make you happy?"

He stopped Harry's hand quite suddenly with his own and pulled back. Draco's grey eyes stared into Harry's green ones, making sure his message was not lost. "No. You said I had to take responsibility, didn't you? I won't let you do it. But maybe… you can be a part of it. You have your rules and I have mine, but I think that they can exist together. I want to make it work."

Harry kissed him, unsure of how else to respond. Draco welcomed the kiss, but soon ended it and laid down next to Harry, curling into him. Harry put his book away and turned out the light before settling down next to him. Draco allowed the exhaustion to take over and closed his eyes, for the first time falling asleep next to a man that he had not just had sex with.


	12. At the End of a Long Day

**Chapter Twelve – At the End of a Long Day**

Draco never told Harry about his last goodbye trip to Justin's grave. He told his therapist and that was enough. And the event didn't mark a huge change for him. Draco was still Draco. He still went out almost every night, he still went to bed with what could be seen as an inappropriate number of men. The only difference really was that Harry was there for it. They'd go out together and sometimes go home together, sometimes not. And they could both live with that, at least for now. It was fun and relaxed and Harry was enjoying the freedom that being with Draco gave him. The arrangement had all the sexual benefits of a relationship, but without the pressures of one.

Their muggles friends approved of the relationship about as much as Ron did. Cameron couldn't resist rolling his eyes when he saw them come in together and other friends had expressed their surprise and confusion. They knew Harry and Draco had history, but no one could see why Harry would start up anything seemingly serious with the town slut. They couldn't have seen the little things that Harry saw. And they certainly couldn't see the little changes in Draco's behavior. Yes, he was still the town slut, but Harry had noticed his greatly reduced drug use and the way he was more open to talking and doing things that didn't involve sex. They weren't major changes, but they made him all the more attractive to Harry.

On the first Sunday in February, after another sleepover at Harry's flat, he and Draco were awoken by a pounding on the door. A glance at the clock told Harry that it was only eight and if he wasn't mistaken it was Sunday, so he had no idea who would wake him at such an hour. He stumbled out to the front door wearing only cotton trousers. The opening door revealed Ron and he didn't look happy.

Harry rubbed his face tiredly. "Did I know you were coming over? Because I forgot."

"No. Surprise visit. Very surprise." He held up the Sunday edition of the _Daily Prophet_. "You need to sit down before you read this."

Harry squinted at it. He'd left his glasses in the bedroom and his eyes were still trying to adjust to the morning light.

"What is it?"

"Bad news." He handed the paper off to Harry, but then looked up at the figure standing in the hall. Draco was dressed similarly to Harry and did not look happy about being awaken.

"How appropriate that Malfoy is here for this. Hermione said I had to stay and make sure you were okay, but I see you have your own support system for this. I guess I'll be going."

"Wait. What's going on? What's in here?"

Ron turned back to his oldest friend. Even without his glasses Harry could see the worry lines in his face. He could tell that Ron did not want to have to give him this news.

"You were found out. Someone caught you at some club and sold the story to the paper. And it's not flattering. Hermione said you'd have a good case if you decide to sue them. I'll talk to you later, Harry."

Harry translated that as "some other time when Malfoy isn't around" and let him go. He turned back toward Draco.

"I'll make some coffee."

Draco went back to Harry's room and picked up two t-shirts and Harry's glasses. The paper was left unopened on the table and Draco didn't dare touch it until Harry was ready. Draco could tell he was barely holding on to his composure. His hand shook slightly when he poured the coffee. He'd witnessed Harry's temper enough to know the signs of an impending explosion. Finally Harry sat down and picked up the paper as if it were any other paper, any other morning. He read silently, keeping his face miraculously blank and when he was finished he tossed it across the table to Draco, stood and began pacing.

As he unfolded the paper, Draco was unsurprised to see the crass headline: HARRY POTTER IN GAY AFFAIR. The _Prophet_ wasn't known for their diplomacy in delicate situations, but the article that followed was above and beyond anything that Draco had seen in the paper for some time.

_It seems that after months of speculation we finally have an explanation for the sudden and mysterious divorce of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley-Potter. Try as we did, no evidence of extramarital affairs was uncovered. It appears now that there may have been a very good reason why the Potters were so secretive. Potter was not just hiding an affair, but an entire deviant lifestyle involving promiscuity and homosexual behavior._

_A reliable source can place Mr. Potter at muggle gay bars on numerous occasions and confirms exclusively to the _Daily Prophet_ that Mr. Potter has been in the company of multiple young muggle men._

The vile article continued to lay out proof of Harry's supposed deviance, given by an anonymous source, but it was the conclusion of the article that took Draco completely by surprise.

_To better understand what could drive Mr. Potter to such a lifestyle, one must investigate his past. We spoke to an expert in matters of sexuality, Healer Anita Jones, to gain a better perspective. "By his own admission, Harry Potter had a disturbed childhood. Raised by relatives who did not show him proper affection, he entered his Hogwarts career desperately seeking that which he had been denied. It is possible perhaps that he looked for those needs in inappropriate places."_

_When asked about Mr. Potter's relationship with the late Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, Healer Jones cited _The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore_, the most famous of biographies on the memorable leader, by Rita Skeeter._

"_There were reports at the time of Dumbledore's death that the nature of Mr. Potter's relationship with the headmaster was inappropriate. Why else would a man like Dumbledore take such an intense interest in a young boy? And of course it has been speculated over the years that Dumbledore himself engaged in homosexual relationships. It does not take any great insight to make that connection between Mr. Potter's childhood trauma and his current sexual confusion."_

_The Potter family could not be reached for comments and there is not yet word on how this scandalous news has been received by Mr. Potter's ex-wife and children. One can only hope that they receive the help they need in this time to overcome this black mark on an otherwise noble family history._

Draco set the paper down slowly to find Harry fuming. Draco's eyes followed him from one side of the room to the other and back again. His face was slowly turning crimson and his breath was coming out in harsh puffs. After several laps of the kitchen he stopped, grabbed the paper and balled it up as small as he could make it. After taking out aggression on that he hurled it across the room and continued his manic pacing.

"You know, it could be worse," Draco ventured. He faltered briefly under Harry's death glare, but continued on. "Well, at least there was no mention of who you were dating."

"Well that's great for you and every other bloke I've ever met in a bar, but that doesn't feel so great for me. It's insulting. It's insulting to me and to Dumbledore and to every gay man in the world. Not to mention people who really are the victims of the 'inappropriate relationship' that they were implying. It's completely ignorant."

"So tell them that. Issue a statement and say exactly that."

"If I get too defensive then it will look like I have something to hide."

"Your silence says the same thing at this point."

Harry stopped pacing. "I guess I can't win."

"I told you it wouldn't be easy."

"Thanks for the warning," he lashed out. "Really."

"No need to be a bitch, Potter."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "This is just so…"

"Stupid? Juvenile? Absolutely pointless?"

"Yes. That. And I'm sure I'll hear about it when I go into work tomorrow."

"You're head of the department, half your family works in the Ministry and you're friends with the Minister."

"We'll just see if I still am."

"You're Harry Potter. They're not going to disown _you_ for being gay."

"Maybe."

"You still have a full twenty-four hours before you have to go in and face them." Draco smirked. "What would you like to do?"

For the first time Harry's face relaxed and he actually tried to smile. This was Draco's way of offering comfort. Harry wouldn't have expected him to give hugs and sentimental words. He wouldn't have said no if that's what Draco offered, but he knew that they just weren't there yet. It was still mostly about the sex. And Harry wasn't going to turn that down if it would get his mind off things for a little while.

A while later, Draco had lit a cigarette—the one bad habit he was not even attempting to give up— and was trying to blow the smoke away from Harry out of courtesy. Harry's mind began to wander back to his problems. Everyone knew now. He couldn't even deny it if he wanted, since he had already told the family. The children were another story.

"I have to go to the school," he said suddenly. "Al and James will have heard by now. I should go talk to them."

He sat up and went about finding his clothes while Draco watched.

"You can't just barge into the school. You'll attract a crowd."

"Neville will arrange for me to see them."

Neville Longbottom was not only a respected Herbology professor, but he'd also been made head of Gryffindor House just the previous year. Of all people who could turn on him at this point, Harry knew, hoped rather, that Neville wouldn't be one of them. He'd been through too much with Neville for him to let this affect their friendship. Right? It was Sunday so Neville would likely be in London with Hannah. She was the landlady of the Leaky Cauldron now and he spent many weekends there. And this time of the day the pub would be mostly empty, so Harry wouldn't even have to worry about running into unfriendly faces.

"You'll lock up the flat when you go?"

Draco shrugged and Harry took that as a yes. He kissed the blond quickly on the mouth and was out the door a moment later. He apparated to the back entrance of the Leaky Cauldron and opened the door cautiously. He listened for sounds of pub patrons and when he heard nothing he stepped in and looked around. Neville was sitting on a stool at the bar while Hannah was just exiting the storage room with a case of firewhiskey. She noticed Harry there first, set the crate down and ran over to him. Harry wasn't sure what to expect from them, but it certainly wasn't the death squeeze of a hug she pulled him into.

"Can't breathe, Hannah."

"Oh sorry." She let him go.

Neville was next to her. He gestured to the newspaper he left sitting on the bar. "We just read."

Harry nodded. "I was actually hoping for a favor. I need to see James and Al. I can only imagine what they're dealing with right now."

"I figured I might see you today. We'll go now. I'll get my cloak."

He disappeared into the back room and Hannah hugged him again. "You know we don't care whether it's true or not. The _Prophet_ doesn't have the right to treat you like this. And the things they said about Dumbledore… Well, I think you should sue them."

"Thank you. I'm glad someone is still on my side."

She pulled back. "So it is true? Not the Dumbledore part; of course that's rubbish. But the other?"

"Yes, I date men now."

She nodded, but then frowned and her eyes narrowed menacingly. "Does Ginny know? Because if she found like this I may have to hex you."

"She knew. Ron and Hermione do. The kids didn't."

She patted his arm. "Well, they'll understand. Even if they don't right away, they will."

"I hope you're right."

Neville returned, fastening his black cloak at his neck and they apparated to just outside the Hogwarts gate so Harry could walk in with him. It had been more than a year since he'd been back. He had been coming frequently to do special lectures in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but the instructor hired that year hadn't asked for him yet. And probably wouldn't now.

"What's wrong?" Neville asked when Harry stopped walking.

"Memories. When I was coming here every couple months I didn't notice so much, but now it's like I'd forgotten how beautiful it was."

"Do you miss it?"

"Parts of it. It's good to hear the boys' school stories so I can know what a normal childhood is like."

Neville laughed and they started walking again. "They haven't managed to get in nearly as much trouble as you. Not yet anyway."

"I'm sure they'll try."

"Harry, this whole article business… I don't know what to say to make it any better, but you know it will blow over eventually."

"I'm sure. Eventually."

"People forget in time. And anyone who cares about you won't care about this article. Hannah and I don't."

"Thanks."

They were nearly to the main entrance and Neville told Harry to go out to Greenhouse Three to wait. He passed a few children on his way, but it was cold enough that most were inside. The greenhouse was cozy though. There were plants in there that Harry didn't even recognize. Not that he was a plant expert, but he liked to think that it wasn't just Hermione doing his homework that enabled him to pass his classes. Finally he came across a mandrake. At least he knew that one.

After about ten minutes he heard the children approaching. James was complaining loudly that he didn't know why they had to be there and Al was complaining loudly about James. It was about what Harry expected from his boys. The door opened and both children stopped when they saw their father. After a moment Al ran and jumped into Harry's arms. James leaned back against the nearest table and crossed his arms over his chest. Neville left them alone. Harry sized up his oldest son.

"I take it you've seen the paper."

"Who hasn't? The whole bloody world knows about that article."

"I'm sorry. I know it's caused you some trouble today."

"You wouldn't believe the stuff they're saying about you," said Albus.

"It's true, isn't it?" said James accusingly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

James shook his head. "Like it would make a difference. I'm going back to my friends." He turned to leave.

"Wait. I really wanted to talk to you."

"Nothing to say, is there? You're gay. I hope Mum hexes you into next year."

"Your mother knows already."

James whipped around. "And she's okay with this?" he demanded.

"My personal life is not a personal attack on your mother. She understands that."

"Do you have any idea what they're saying here?"

"I can guess."

"And what are we supposed to say to that?"

"That article said some stuff about Professor Dumbledore too," Al added. Harry hadn't even thought about how he would be affected by those rumors. He was, after all, named after Dumbledore.

"That is absolutely not true. And if anyone says anything about that you tell them that they're wrong. It's a terrible lie. I admired Dumbledore a lot and he would never do the things they implied. Not to me or anyone else. He has nothing to do with me being gay. Okay? You understand?"

"Yes. Rose said that too."

"Well Rose is pretty smart. You should listen to her more often. James, are you okay?"

"Not really, no. It's great to know that Dumbledore wasn't some old pervert, but that really doesn't mean anything. I mean, you're still a fag, right?"

"James."

"No, don't 'James' me. You don't get to tell me anything. You're a liar."

"I never lied to you."

"Just by being married to Mum you were lying. And now I have to deal with everyone saying stuff about me because of what you are. Maybe Al doesn't care. He's just happy the person he was named after wasn't a child molester. He doesn't care about his own reputation. Yet. In a few years I'm sure he'll be thanking you though."

"That's enough, James."

"Yes, actually it is enough."

He turned once more and left the greenhouse. Harry looked down at Al. "Do you hate me too?"

"Does Mum hate you?"

"No."

He thought for a moment. "Then I guess it's none of my business. People will stop talking about it eventually."

Harry hugged him again. "Thanks. Do you have any questions for me? I'm really sorry that this all had to come out this way, but I'll tell you anything you want to know now."

"I think this boy in my year, Robert, is gay."

"Oh?"

"Some of the other boys don't like him and say things about it, but he's not so bad. I mean, how can you even tell?"

Harry smiled and shook his head. "No way to tell unless he tells you."

"Did you always like boys? Even when you were in school?"

"You remember those stories Mr. Malfoy told about me in school?" Al nodded. "Those sorts of things kept me pretty busy in school and I didn't really have time to worry about girls or boys. But whenever I liked someone—which was only a couple times—she was a girl."

"Well then how can people like Robert know, but you didn't until you were old?"

Harry mentally winced at the word "old," but tried to focus on the answer. "I really don't know how these things work. Maybe no one does. Maybe it's different for everyone."

Al nodded thoughtfully. "What if I am and I don't even know it?"

"Then I'd say you'll figure it out eventually. I wouldn't worry about it now. You like who you like." Harry smiled at his son. It figured Al would come up with the questions that Harry was still asking himself. "Anything else?" Al shook his head. "Then you'd better get going back to your friends."

Al did as he was told and Harry exited the greenhouse to see Neville waiting for him. He watched Al go back into the castle.

"James will come around, Harry. I'll try to talk to him a bit."

"Thanks. And thanks for letting me in to see them."

"You want to come in for a bit? If you want to talk…"

"Thanks, but I have to get back to London and deal with the aftermath eventually."

They parted ways then and Harry made his way through the paths around the greenhouses heading toward the main gate. He jumped suddenly when a blond boy appeared from behind one of the structures. Harry looked around and saw that the boy was alone, but then focused on the boy himself. It was, for a moment, as if Harry had traveled back in time. He would know this boy anywhere.

"Scorpius Malfoy."

"How did you know who I am?"

Harry laughed. "Many of my school memories are of fighting with your father. Looking at you… well, you could be his twin." The boy didn't seem to like that answer at all. "What can I do for you?"

"I saw Professor Longbottom bringing James and Albus out here. After that article I figured you must be here. Is it true? What they said about you?"

"Part of it."

"You don't look queer." He crossed his arms and lifted his nose in the air ever so slightly in a gesture that was straight from Draco.

"What am I supposed to look like then?"

"Like my father."

Harry reflected on that. It was true Draco was far more stylish. Maybe in some ways he was a _better_ gay man. If one bought into stereotypes.

"So we should all look alike? How would we be able to tell each other apart?" Scorpius glared. "I don't think you should be so quick to judge me or your father. Especially your own father."

"You know him."

Not a question. "Yes."

"You know what he's done."

Harry nodded. "In the war? I was there for most of it. And I know that he would take it back today if he could. Why are you out here, Scorpius?"

The boy's frown deepened. "I'm not like him, you know."

It was obvious that Scorpius was searching for something. He wanted answers without actually asking direct questions. From what Draco had said, Astoria was bitter enough over the thing with the gardener that she had made his sexuality another accusation in a long list of things Draco had done wrong in his life. It was only natural, after the article about Harry that Scorpius would seek out answers. He must have known that Harry and Draco had gone to school together. Who better to ask?

Harry shrugged. "I don't know exactly what you mean by that, or what you've heard about your father, but I think that you can't possibly know everything there is to know about him. He has a lot of bad qualities. He was a mean, snobbish and severely misguided boy when he was about your age. I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to be like him. But then, he was also smart and loyal to his family, willing to do anything to keep them safe. That's not so bad.

"Like the rest of us, he grew out of a lot of his bad habits. You must have good memories of him from your childhood. That's the man he is. The rest of it doesn't matter. He loves you very much and desperately wants you to speak to him again. And yes, he is gay and that matters to some people, but it has very little to do with who he is to you." He paused, letting some of that sink in. "What I'm saying is, I don't know you and I can't know if you're like him in any ways apart from your looks or not, but I can say that there are far worse things to be."

Scorpius nodded. "You know him well then."

"I've gotten to know him again, yes. I consider him a friend now."

"Okay then." Scorpius turned, heading back into the school.

"He really would love to hear from you. I think if the two of you talked things out you would both feel better about it."

Scorpius acknowledged his words with a curt nod and Harry continued on, anxious to get home. To his surprise and delight, Draco was still there.

"I figured you'd want to get your mind off of things again and who am I to turn down angsty sex?"

Harry grinned, but didn't fall into bed with him right away. He had a pile of letters waiting for him. Draco had said they were coming since he left. Harry went to work sorting through them. There was something from each of the Weasleys, except Charlie, who was still in Romania. All of them indicated that they had spoken with Ginny before sending their letter. Harry took them as the warnings they were intended as. Like Hannah, they all had been concerned that Ginny was also finding out by reading the Sunday paper. Percy's letter was quite long, lecturing Harry on the proper ways of going about making such a shocking announcement. As if Harry chose this particular method.

There were notes from old school friends and complete strangers. He left those unopened. The last one had the Minister's seal and requested that Harry visit him first thing in the morning. Suddenly his nervous feelings about returning to the office came back in full and he collapsed down on the couch where Draco was reading a magazine.

"I give up."

"Can't do that. I'll send you to my shrink."

"From what I've seen of muggles, they aren't quite so worked up about this stuff, are they?"

"Being gay? No. Occasionally some religious zealot tries to condemn us to hell, but otherwise most of them are just fine with it. In fact, what we allow to be printed in the paper could qualify as hate speech and be punishable by law in parts of the muggle world. Most civilized countries even allow gay marriage now. Except parts of America. But I would hardly call Texas 'civilized'."

Harry looked at Draco calmly turning magazine pages. He envied Draco's ability to at least seem composed regardless of what was going on inside. Without thinking about anything other than feeling just a little bit better, Harry laid down and rested his head on Draco's lap. Draco made an annoyed sound as he adjusted his magazine, but otherwise didn't complain. In fact, he held the magazine with one hand while the other drifted down to comb through Harry's hair. It was so soothing that Harry found himself wanting to take a nap.

"So it didn't go well with your children?"

"James hates me, Al doesn't."

"It was good of Longbottom to help you out."

Harry smiled. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say something nice about Neville."

"Don't get used to it."

Harry hesitated. "Draco… I saw Scorpius today."

Draco's hand stilled at once and he put down his reading. "Where?"

"He found out I was at the school and sought me out."

"For what?" he asked in a strained voice.

"He had questions. He's curious and he misses his dad."

"He asked about me?"

Harry stared up and saw a light in Draco's eyes that he suspected hadn't been there in years. "Yes. He seemed confused, like he wanted to see you, but his mother has probably said all kinds of things about you over the past year. I think if you tried to see him he would be willing."

"And how did he look? Was he… happy?"

"A little sad I'd say, but healthy. He looks so much like you, I could have sworn I was back in second year."

Draco's hand was once more stroking Harry's head. "He does look like me, doesn't he?"

"Even more than you looked like Lucius." Harry chuckled. "Everyone says how much Al looks like me. Between the two of them it's like we've gone back to Hogwarts."

Draco's voice got quiet, somewhat wistful. "I had a dream the other night that we were back at school, mere children."

"And what happened?"

"I dreamt that you took my hand in first year and we were friends."

"And what do you suppose would have happened if that was true?"

"I don't know. Maybe I would have turned out okay. Or maybe I would have just dragged you down with me."

"You're such a pessimist." Harry paused, a grin sliding over his lips. "You know, you're not nearly as annoying as I remember you being back then."

Draco smiled down into Harry's face. "You either." He took a deep breath. "I miss him."

Harry reached up and squeezed his hand. "I know."

"So do you need to talk… or anything?" He frowned, thoroughly uncomfortable with the thought of what he had just offered. "I mean, you just had the worst day ever."

Harry smiled. "I feel like shit. I don't think there's really anything else to say right now. But I'm glad you're here. There's no one else I'd rather be with after a day like this."


	13. By Your Side

**Chapter Thirteen –By Your Side**

Ginny arrived at Harry's flat early the next morning. She knew that he didn't usually go in to work until nine, so it was eight when she knocked at his door, hoping he would have time to talk for a few moments at least. She was surprised when she was greeted at the door by none other than Draco Malfoy. He appeared just as eager to see her as she was. He couldn't even look her in the eye, she noticed. He immediately moved back to allow her to enter and she stepped just over the threshold.

"Is Harry here?"

"He went to the office early to speak with the Minister."

It took her a moment to respond to that. Her initial reaction was to ask why Malfoy was still in Harry's home, but she quickly put that out of her mind at the mention of the Minister. Could Harry actually be in some kind of trouble?

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know. He just got a note with the Minister's seal and went in early."

She nodded. "He lets you stay here all day?"

"I don't usually," Draco answered defensively. "He wanted someone to talk to last night, so I stayed."

"That makes at least two nights in a row."

Draco's eyebrows rose in surprise before he realized who her spy must be. "Your brother has a big mouth." She smirked. "And for your information, it's been four."

"Trying to make me jealous or something?"

"Would it work?"

"No, but I am protective of him."

"Is this the part where we have our little show down? I say 'you're the ex and he's mine now' and you threaten to hex my balls to another galaxy if I hurt him?"

"Malfoy, you know my reputation well enough to know what I would do if you hurt him. And you know it's significantly more painful than what you just said. You also should know that I don't get jealous and I do not need to be reminded that he's free to be with whomever he chooses. So no, no show down. Sorry."

Draco nodded in acceptance. "Shall I tell him to find you at his earliest convenience?"

"That's alright. I'll find him. I thought I'd give him space yesterday. I went into the managing editor's office at the _Daily Prophet_ this morning."

"That's right, you work there," he remembered aloud.

"Only in sports. I have no control over what happens in the rest of the paper. And I was reminded of that fact. I demanded they print a retraction on at least some of that dreadful article."

"Didn't go over so well?"

"He told me to stick to Quidditch and he was so sorry that such a tragedy has been inflicted upon my family." Draco rolled his eyes, disgusted. "And I told him that my ex's sexuality is not an infliction upon any of us and if he thought so then he could fuck himself."

Now Draco really was surprised. "You actually said that?" She nodded smugly. "I think I have seriously underestimated you Weas—Hey what do you go by now anyway? You're not Weasley anymore, but it just doesn't feel right to call you Potter."

"You can call me Ginny if it's less confusing for you."

"Well, Ginny, would you like some coffee?"

Harry returned home an hour later, surprised to find that Draco's cloak was still hanging next to the door and even more surprised to hear two voices coming from the kitchen. He called out for Draco, but only got an "in the kitchen" response. He was not ready for the scene before him. Ginny and Draco were sitting across the table from each other, each with a mug of coffee and a plate of bagels between them. They were smiling and he felt like he had walked in a minute too late for the punchline to a joke.

"Have I just entered another dimension?"

"How did things go with the Minister?" Draco asked.

"Fine," he answered slowly, still approaching them with some caution. "He told me to take the morning off and be back for the weekly staff meeting in the afternoon. What are you two doing?"

"Oh, sorry. Would you like some coffee too?"

Now Draco was just being a dick. He clearly knew why Harry was so unnerved and he was having fun with it. Fortunately, Ginny came to his rescue.

"I stopped to talk to you, but talked to Draco instead."

"Okay. This is just a bit weird for me."

"Ginny has something to tell you."

"Yes. I think you should file a defamation lawsuit against the paper. I asked them to take it back, but they won't. I'm thinking of quitting my job there on principle."

"Don't do that."

"How can I work for a publisher who obviously has such disregard for the truth? If we start a boycott then maybe they'll take it back."

"A little late for that, isn't it? The damage is done. If I were you I'd stay as far away from me and this story as you can. Merlin knows everyone else is."

Her face pulled into a worried frown. "Kingsley couldn't have had a problem with it."

"He was… 'disappointed.' Not so much in me, but how it all came out. This has affected him too, you know. How his Head Auror is perceived publicly reflects on him."

"Well he can't really blame you for this. And after everything you've done for him too."

"He doesn't, he's just… stressed out I guess. He said I'm damn lucky he didn't retire last year when he was considering it. Another Minister wouldn't have been as understanding."

"That's rubbish. Everyone knows they would make you Minister."

"Not anymore. Ron seems to think the Auror department is okay, but there's a lot of gossiping. I'm sure it will all blow over, but it's not going to be fun getting there."

"You're going to sue the _Prophet_," said Ginny firmly. "If not for yourself, then for Dumbledore. It's despicable what they said about you both."

"I'll stop by Hermione's office this afternoon and get that started. First, I want to know what's going on here. Are you two friends now or something?"

"We're…"

"Allies," Draco finished for her.

"Yes, excellent choice of term."

"Allies? This is just weird. You're not talking about me, are you?"

Ginny grinned. "You mean about how you talk in your sleep?"

"I already know that," said Draco.

"He also chews loudly when he has to eat icky vegetables."

"I do not!"

"You do. And you leave your dirty socks laying all over. And you can't be interrupted when you're shaving or you lose concentration and get all huffy."

"It is so great to gain these insights about you, Potter."

"Great."

"I have to get going. Lily is staying with Fleur and I have to pick her up. Walk me out?"

Harry glanced nervously at Draco before following Ginny to the door. As she pulled her cloak on he asked about how Lily was handling things.

"She's fine. Look, I was serious about quitting my job. They had no right to say those things."

"Don't quit. I will handle this."

She nodded. "Fine. Oh, and I changed my mind about Draco. I approve. Not that you needed anyone's okay."

"Well he's very charming when he wants to be and it apparently worked on you."

"He is charming, but I can see through that. It's more than that. He's nice, polite, not the prejudice muggle-phobe that I remember. He just may be good for you. And he's falling for you every bit as much as you are for him." She smiled at his surprised expression, but then frowned suddenly. "You look terrible, Harry." She reached a hand up to stroke his cheek. "Have a drink and go to bed. And don't let Draco keep you from actually sleeping there."

She turned back to the door.

"Thank you, Gin."

"It's purely selfish, I assure you. You have Lily this weekend. I don't want you using the excuse that you didn't get enough sleep."

And with that she was gone. When Harry returned to the kitchen Draco was waiting patiently, no doubt straining his ears to hear what he and Ginny had been saying.

"You and Ginny allies, eh?"

Draco shrugged. "You know the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies—"

"No, no, that's not what you're doing. You were actually getting along with her."

"Prove it."

Harry smiled and sat down across the table. "I assume you heard everything we said."

"I would never eavesdrop."

"You heard what she said."

Draco grinned. "I _am_ quite charming, aren't I? But I disagree that I should allow you to sleep."

"And the rest?"

The smile was gone, replaced by something hesitant, almost nervous. "The rest… who ever said that she knows what she's talking about?"

"So she doesn't?"

"You tell me."

Harry sighed. Neither one of them would admit it now. Draco couldn't. It didn't matter how much progress he may have made in therapy, a person can't be changed so dramatically overnight. Admitting to one's true feelings can be scarier than facing Voldemort.

"I think that I need to try to get some sleep before I go back to work."

Harry disappeared into the bedroom and lay down. He heard Draco clinking dishes together in the kitchen and moving about the flat, but he stayed away. Just as Harry was beginning to doze off he heard the door creak open and a moment later another body joined him on the bed. He didn't wake, but curled into the visitor as he felt his hair being stroked. Harry imagined, in his half-sleep state, that this was Draco's answer. Maybe he couldn't say it quite yet, but he could show Harry how he felt.

When Harry awoke two hours later Draco was still sitting next to him. He had picked up a book to read, but remained by Harry's side. It was the first time Harry had ever seen Draco wear reading glasses.

"Don't you have anything better to do than sit with me all day?"

Draco lowered his book and removed the glasses. "It is one of the perks of being independently wealthy. I don't actually have to _do_ anything if I don't want to."

"What do you do all day, anyway?" Harry asked with a frown. He'd never really given much thought to what Draco's day was like. They usually saw each other on the weekends and after work and it never occurred to Harry that Draco's day wasn't much like his.

"Business dealings, investments. Much of it is what my father did to build and maintain the family fortune."

"Which is…?"

"Like I said, investments. A lot of it is overseas. In fact, I will be going to France later in the month to renew some contracts."

"What kinds of things do you invest in?"

"Nimbus Brooms, various potions suppliers and independent research firms that are creating new spells or potions."

"Really? Nimbus?"

"I own stock in Nimbus—my family has for many years—but that is all. Some of the other companies I have a more 'hands on' role in."

"I never knew that."

"Did you think our money supply was never ending?"

"No. I just never thought about where your money came from. I always thought it was old family money."

"It is, but it would have been gone generations ago if we didn't maintain it. And don't forget that a lot of our wealth is in assets: the Manor, other properties, family heirlooms."

"Sounds complicated."

"It is. But it also affords me the luxury of taking days off to sit in bed and read." He smiled and put his glasses back on. Harry watched him for a moment, thinking that Draco was really hot with glasses. They had fine silver frames that worked with his face and coloring and just enhanced his already handsome features.

"You're staring, Potter."

"Yes, I am."

"Any particular reason?"

"Just that you're unbelievably gorgeous."

"Well I know that."

"I've never seen you with glasses. It's sexy."

Draco scowled. "You're weird."

"Maybe. I've had a weird week. But I still think you're sexy with glasses."

"Do you want to have sex?"

Harry smiled at the thought of it. What was it about Draco that turned him into a horny teenager again? But then he remembered what he had to do that afternoon.

"I should prepare for the meeting. I have all the normal stuff, plus the personal stuff. I'm sure it will come up at some point."

"They're idiots if they cause trouble over this. Have they never seen a gay auror before?"

"Actually… I don't think there've been any. None who were open about it. Except for Davis. And I don't think even he's out really." Harry sat up and leaned back against the pillows.

"Who's that?"

"The guy who hit on me in the locker room last year. In a roundabout way, he's the one responsible for me deciding to explore my sexuality."

Draco nodded, then smiled. "Make sure to thank him in your speech."

"I don't know if that would be entirely appropriate, but I'll consider it. I'm sure he would be amused by it."

Draco removed his glasses again and looked over at Harry. "Is he good looking?"

Harry turned to Draco and smiled. "Very. Are you jealous?" Draco scowled in response. "He's also about half our age."

"Well now I am jealous."

"I meant that it's a completely ridiculous idea since he is so young. He's only been a full auror for a couple years. Practically an infant."

"Yet he interested you enough to make you question your heterosexuality. Hmm. Auror Potter, I think you're not being completely honest."

"Fine. He's hot. But he's far too young for me."

"There you go, selling yourself short again. You could have any man you wanted. You could try things out with the young auror. Then you would have young, hot arm candy for your many public appearances. And he's a wizard, so no keeping secrets. I'd say he's just about perfect for you."

Harry frowned. Was Draco trying to get rid of him? "That's wrong. I'd still be keeping secrets."

Draco raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well, unless he's okay with me fucking you on the side. But if he's not, it would be right back to square one with secrets."

"Potter, really. If you had a boyfriend half your age you'd have a hard enough time keeping up with him, never mind having the energy to keep anyone on the side."

"I suppose you're right. That settles it then. I couldn't possibly get a younger boyfriend."

"You're an idiot."

"Actually I'm not in the market for any boyfriend, Davis or anyone else."

"And what if he's your 'happily ever after'?"

Harry looked into his eyes and said simply, "He's not."

"You're not getting sappy on me, are you?"

"You're not my boyfriend. You've made that clear and I'm fine with how things are. I like what we have going. I like the freedom of it and I like you. I'm not going to try to have a relationship with someone else who isn't going to understand that."

"You used to believe in monogamy."

"I do. Under the right circumstances."

"What circumstances are those?" Draco asked hesitantly.

He had to have known where Harry was going with this. Not that Harry had planned it. He really wasn't going to say anything quite yet. He wanted to wait until some of the excitement died down after the article. The past few weeks had led him to certain revelations about his feelings for Draco, but the past day had cemented it. He took a deep breath.

"I'm fine with the way things are and I'm not trying to pressure you into anything or ask you to change. But you asked about monogamy, so I'll tell you. If I ever make a commitment to only sleep with one person forever, then it's going to be to you. I'm not asking you to do that, I'm just… letting you know. The only circumstance in which I favor a monogamous relationship is one in which you do too. Even if that day never comes."

"Oh," Draco said. He felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him. "I don't know what to say, Potter."

"Don't say anything. It's not something you have to reply to. I have to head back into the office anyway." He got up and started for the bathroom. "Will I see you around tonight?"

"I was thinking of going to Gemini. Or just to the bar."

"Sounds good. I'm avoiding it of course. No telling who will show up hoping to get a look at me after that article. Last thing I need is the muggles asking why there are weird people following me around."

Draco nodded absently, though Harry couldn't see him from in the bathroom. He was still trying to process all that Harry had told him. Regardless of what the man said, he really did feel he should say something in response. But what?

Draco took his time leaving after Harry went back to work. The more he thought about what Harry had said the more confused he became. The one thing he really liked about his life was the way that he could see whoever he wanted, but the past few weeks the person he most wanted to see was Harry. Even when Harry was just sleeping, like he had that morning, Draco would rather be there with him.

Meanwhile, at the Ministry…

Harry had never been one for meetings. It felt too much like being back in class at Hogwarts. When he became Head Auror it was even worse because now, instead of being in the student's position, he was the teacher. He dreaded meetings. It wasn't too bad if he was actually leading a training group, where he could really teach. And small meetings in his office with division leaders wasn't all bad because there were only a few of them and one was Ron. Department meetings were the worst. A room full of aurors, all waiting to go over the mundane details of their daily activities and cases. Harry could barely read through the reports himself without falling asleep, never mind reading them aloud to the entire department. Today would be worse.

The department was already assembled when he made his way to the small auditorium from his office. The four division leaders were waiting outside the door for him.

"Where the hell have you been all morning?" Matthews asked harshly.

"Not that it's your business, but I took the morning off to prepare for this meeting."

"Prepare? Or hide?"

Harry stopped in front of him. Matthews was slightly taller than he was, and several years older. After more than ten years he had never really gotten over the fact that Harry was made Head Auror instead of him. It figured he would cause problems today.

"I hide from no man, Matthews, nor do I have reason to. You took three days of personal time when your daughter ran off with that muggle. I took three hours to deal with deeply personal matters before coming here to have my personal life displayed for all of you to publicly mock. If you'd like to accuse me of neglecting my job, do it formally and with proof. Now if you'll excuse me…"

Matthews stepped aside and Harry continued toward the door where Ron stopped him next.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine. Thanks. Just had to figure some things out."

"And?"

"And I'm fine, Ron."

"What are you going to say?" He gestured toward the room full of aurors.

"I have absolutely no clue. I will be stopping in to see Hermione afterwards though."

"Good. All I've heard from her the last day has been how furious she is with the _Prophet_. I heard you went to Hogwarts yesterday."

"James hates me."

"Remember what you told me about James once? He judges quickly and acts before he thinks. Like you at his age. He'll be fine in the long run. Albus and Rose are on your side." Ron paused. "And you know I am, right?"

Harry clapped Ron on the shoulder. "Thanks." He took a deep breath. "Well, I guess it's time."

Harry led the way into the room with Ron close behind him and the other unit leaders following. The room immediately began to quiet, but Harry still held up his hands to hurry the process along.

"Quiet down everyone. We've got work to do here. There's a stack of paperwork from last week that I'm sure we're all anxious to get through and the case involving the traces of Dark magic left behind at multiple crime scenes is going to require some extra attention. You'll be getting your assignments for that at the end of this meeting." Harry paused, weighing his next words. "But first, though it is not my policy to discuss personal matters in this venue, I feel that it would be beneficial for the sake of speed to get one thing out of the way before asking you to focus on something other than the _Daily Prophet_."

There were murmurs throughout the hall.

"I am of course aware of the article printed yesterday. And while I am used to rumors about myself, I am appalled by the slanderous lies printed about Albus Dumbledore. Only a few moments before coming here I drafted a letter to the newspaper, requesting a retraction and several of my family members have done the same. I hope that they will clear up this despicable lie before it does any further damage."

It appeared as if Harry may move on to other business so a senior auror in the front row stood up. "And the other part of that article? The part about you?"

Harry looked out over the crowd. His eye caught Auror Davis's briefly. It seemed like a lifetime ago that the man came onto Harry in the locker room. Davis could hardly contain his grin.

"Any insinuation about an 'inappropriate relationship' with Dumbledore is an outright lie. There is no truth to it all. But the other… I still do not know who their source is, but I have no doubt that that he saw me at a muggle gay club. I go there often and yes, I date men. Just as my personal life has never affected my work in the past, I continue to maintain those professional boundaries. My private life will remain private. My relationships, outside of the four walls of the Ministry, are my own business. Just as I would never pry into your affairs, I ask that you leave mine alone."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ron smiling at him, proud. He didn't know if his words would be taken seriously, but he would at least make it through this meeting in one piece.

"Now, Auror Matthews will share the recap of last weeks' arrests…."


	14. Long Term Plans

**Author's Note: Yes, I'm still alive! I've just come back from a very dark place, emotionally speaking, and it's caused severe writer's block, among other things. But I find that fan fiction is a good way of working through it, so here I am.**

**Chapter Fourteen – Long Term Plans**

It was only seven in the evening when Draco stumbled into The Stag, only for once it wasn't from having too much to drink, but from the crowd that was gathered around the door. He knew there was a chance that some wizards would scout the gay bars for a chance to catch Harry, but wasn't expecting there to be quite so many. He'd thought ahead and disguised himself, however. A couple quick charms made his hair darker and altered his nose, making it slightly less pointed. Then he darkened his skin a bit and hardly recognized himself in the mirror. Once he managed to push past the unwelcomed guests, he sat down at the bar.

"The usual, Cameron."

Cameron frowned and squinted as he looked closer at Draco. "Malfoy? Is that you?"

"Shh." Draco looked around, but the wizards didn't appear to have noticed him. "Don't use my name."

Cameron looked around at the room. "Who are you hiding from? Don't tell me these people are cops."

"Why would they be?"

"You're acting like you're a wanted man-and not in the usual way- and there are about a dozen men in here I've never seen around before. And I'm pretty sure most of them are straight. I was beginning to wonder if they were about ready to raid the place for drugs."

"No drugs, Cam. But I do need that drink."

He complied and came back over with the glass in hand. "I'll give it to you when you tell me what these men want."

"What have they said?"

"They've just been acting weird and one of them asked about Harry."

"Really?"

"Just if Harry had been around. I told him I don't give out information about other customers even if I knew it."

"Thanks. Harry will give you an extra tip next time he's in, I'm sure."

"So if they want Harry then why are _you _incognito? I could swear your nose is different, but there's no surgeon on earth that can work that fast. And how the hell did you get such a great tan so quick in February?"

"Magic."

Cameron rolled his eyes at what he assumed to be a great way to avoid answering the question. "What do they want you two for?"

Draco sighed. He had to tell Cameron something. "Let's just say that where Harry and I come from he's somewhat popular. Local hero, you might say."

"So they're… reporters?"

"Some of them. Others I think are just… fanboys."

"So how is he so popular and I've never heard of him?"

"It's really complicated. It's just some people in his hometown found out that he's gay and now there's been some new interest in him. It will go away eventually."

Cameron set his drink down finally. "Good. These guys don't spend much money and they're starting to freak out the regulars." He watched Draco carefully as he drank his scotch. "So you came here to what, see if it was safe for Harry?"

"Wanted a night out. That's all."

"But you took the time to come up with this elaborate disguise when you could have stayed home and shagged Harry."

"Harry… I think he wants a relationship."

"I could have told you that months ago. You don't, I take it."

"This is Harry. I've known him since we were eleven."

"So?"

"So… We were enemies that whole time. I hated him and he hated me and we did all we could to destroy each other."

"Sounds like obsession, not hate."

"Oh, it was hate. _And _obsession."

Cameron looked around to see if he was needed, but it was a slow Monday night in terms of actual paying customers. "Why do children hate? What could you have possibly had against him at that age? Maybe he had better toys than you?"

Draco snorted. "I had the better toys, clothes. He looked like a starved little orphan. I guess he sort of was one though."

"So you were a dick to him because you were rich. Why does that not surprise me?"

"Are you going to make a point?"

"Yes. The point is that children have a very limited number of reasons for hating someone, don't they? That kind of hate, it isn't real hate. It's annoyance and it means everything when you're eleven, but it doesn't mean a bloody thing in the long run."

"We fought over everything. And eventually circumstance gave us reasons to develop real hate."

"Still sounds like passion and obsession. Even back then your relationship was full of it. And now circumstance has taken away your reasons to hate each other. But that doesn't mean the passion isn't there anymore." Draco stayed quiet and took another sip of his drink. "Look, Malfoy, you and Harry are connected in ways that I don't get, but I've seen it. I've seen the way you look out for each other. No one would ever know there was anything but that between you."

"I'm not looking to settle down."

"Maybe he isn't either. That doesn't mean that you can't still be in love with him."

"I'm not in love with him."

"Aren't you? You wouldn't be so worried about him wanting a relationship if you weren't."

Draco worked with that logic for a few moments. He'd never thought about his relationship with Harry in terms of passion before, though he supposed it was true. There had to be something that drove the obsession they had with each other. Hate didn't do that on its own, though there certainly was hate. Draco thought back to all the things he felt that last year of the war. The hate wasn't really there anymore. There was a lot of fear, but in it, there was hope. And that was partly because of Harry. Draco often found himself listening to the reports of the resistance movement carefully for news of what Harry was doing. He didn't really expect Harry to be able to defeat Voldemort, but he knew even then that if anyone could, it was him. And at that time, he wanted that more than anything. That was how he learned to stop hating Harry Potter.

He looked back up at Cameron and scowled just because he could. "Christ, you've become one of those cliché barmen, giving out advice with each drink. Give a guy a bar and he thinks he's a psychiatrist." Draco finished off his drink and shook his head. "And you're rubbish at it too."

"Whatever you say."

Draco stood, laying down money for the drink. "Do me a favor and don't tell any of these vultures anything. A few days they'll go away, but don't expect to see Harry in for a while."

"Anything for Harry."

Draco wandered aimlessly for a few hours, thinking over what Cameron had said, though he never really came to a firm understanding of what he really felt about it. Upon giving it up as a lost cause, he let himself into Harry's flat around eleven. Harry was already half asleep in bed when Draco climbed in next to him. In the dim lighting Draco could see him shift, sensing another body next to him, but his eyes remained closed.

"Draco?"

"Yes, idiot," Draco said softly, affectionately. "Who else would it be?"

"I thought you were going out."

"I did. Then I went home and tried to sleep, but then I remembered that your bed is more comfortable."

"Liar. You love your bed." He kept his eyes closed, but pulled Draco in closer. "I'm glad you're here."

"How did work go?"

"Terrible. But better than I thought it would."

"So they didn't kick you out then."

"Nope. I'm still the boss, it's just fewer people like me."

Draco settled under the blankets and wrapped an arm around Harry, surprised at how good it felt to hold him. "So what about your new boyfriend?"

"What?" Now Harry cracked an eye open and lifted his head from Draco's shoulder.

"Davis. Isn't he your boyfriend?"

His tone was teasing, but any idiot could pick out the serious edge to it. Harry smiled and nuzzled Draco's neck happily. "I knew you were jealous."

"I'm not. I just wondered if he jumped you."

"He tried. He came to my office after the meeting and told me he knew it the whole time. Then he tried to kiss me."

"Tried?"

"I told him I couldn't date anyone at work. It would be unprofessional."

"Is that the only reason you didn't kiss him?"

"No. I can't be sure, but there's a very good chance that he's the one who told the _Prophet_ about me. And I think he's a pompous arse. And I only have room for one of those in my life."

"Hm," Draco murmured.

"I'm so glad you came over."

"I can't help it. I like waking up next to you."

"Well I won't stop you."

"Good."

"Go to sleep, love."

Draco smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing next to Harry. When he woke in the morning the smell of breakfast was drifting in from the kitchen, but the flat was oddly silent. He couldn't hear Harry moving around at all and went out to investigate.

Harry was fully dressed, looking quite official and very hot in his Auror uniform. He was reading the paper and didn't notice Draco come in. There was bacon and toast on a plate near the stove and a nearly empty plate in front of Harry. Draco frowned as he noticed the way Harry's brow was pulled together in concentration. The morning paper should not take such effort.

"Did they write about you again?"

Harry looked up and smiled. "Good morning. There's food. May need a warming charm though." He looked back down at the paper and held it up for Draco to see. The headline read _Harry Potter Admits Homosexuality_.

"Creative title. No wonder I stopped reading that rag."

"Some of the Aurors told them everything I said in the meeting yesterday. Though they neglected to print any kind of retraction on the stuff about Dumbledore."

Draco warmed his food and brought it to the table with an amused look. "Were you expecting them to?"

"Hoping, but no, not expecting." Harry pushed the paper away and watched Draco eat for a few moments. "I'm really glad you came over last night."

"Me too."

"I have to go to work in a bit. What are you up to today?"

"Well, I'll have to actually do all the work I've been putting off the last few days. That means meetings with my financial advisors. And you remember me telling you that I'd have to go to France this month?" Harry nodded. "I have to make those plans soon and I was wondering if you'd like to come along."

"What? To France?"

"Have you ever been?"

"A couple times on Ministry business, once with Ginny."

"Well, there are a few areas of muggle Paris that I'm sure you didn't visit with Ginny or the Ministry. I'd really like to show you. Or, more likely, this is an excuse to get you away from work and into an expensive hotel room for four days."

Harry's eyebrows rose, intrigued by the offer. "I have to work."

"You don't have time off?"

"I usually use it when the kids are home."

"All of it? You can take a few days off. You have most weekends off anyway, so all you'd have to take is a couple extra days. Shacklebolt will understand, given recent events. And you need to get out of town."

"When are you going?"

"Two weeks, if I can."

"I'll see what I can arrange."

"Just think you, me, room service. We'd never even have to leave the room if we didn't want to. Except for my business, but that won't take long."

"You never did explain exactly what kinds of contracts you're going to renew."

"It would be hard to explain. Maybe if you come to Paris with me you'll find out."

Harry grinned and stood. "I'm going to be late. Will you lock up?"

"Of course. Will I see you tonight?"

Harry stopped and looked down at him. "How else will we wake up together?" He leaned in for a quick kiss. "But if you want to go out you'll have to go without me."

"How long to you plan to extend your self-imposed exile from all social settings?"

"Until the paper can go a week without writing about me. I'll see you later."

The problem with staying in Harry's flat after he was gone was that there was no one to distract Draco from his depressing thoughts. Harry had pictures up all over his place of his children and other family, which only served to only remind Draco of his own son. His therapist had been encouraging him to work things out with Astoria, and after Harry saw Scorpius at Hogwarts he had been thinking about it even more. How could he heal if he didn't at least try? So after his business in Diagon Alley was completed, Draco found himself standing in front of Astoria's door. The house elf let him in and showed him to the sitting room, which he actually found ridiculous, since it had been his house only a year ago.

"Draco, how lovely to see you," she greeted him with a false smile. She was giving him that look that told him that she was clearly better than him. Ringlets of blonde hair rest on her shoulder neatly, perfectly, as if she was posing for a portrait. The sight of her had never irritated him quite as much as it did this day though. How could he have ever believed that he could spend his life with such a fake, smug bitch?

"I wish I could say the same, Astoria, but I can't even speak that lie with a straight face."

"Or a straight anything else."

"Witty." He sat down in the arm chair across from her sofa. "I've come to speak with you about Scorpius."

The smug smile dropped from her lips. "I have nothing to say to you and neither does he."

"I am his father. I will see him."

"Draco, darling, you know I won't allow it."

"And you should know that I will take you to court if I have to. I will see my son even if I have to have the law make it so."

"Your father could have managed that kind of sway with the courts, but not you, dear. The Malfoys don't have that power anymore."

"But we will have again. I've been too passive about this. I've allowed you to do as you wish because I didn't want to face public scrutiny again. Things have changed. Maybe you've heard that Harry Potter has come out."

She rolled her eyes. "Thrown out of the closet kicking and screaming would be more accurate, yes."

"You convinced me once that the law would side with you because you're straight. If a court said I was an unfit parent because I'm gay then it would be like saying their savior, Potter, is unfit as well. They won't do that. And without that as leverage they will refer back to the old laws. The father has a right to protect his name."

Astoria scowled. "He won't see you. He hates you for being a pervert."

"He's my son. If he hates me then it will be of his choice and not because of some poison that you feed him about me." Draco continued, trying to project and air of confidence. "He will spend Easter with me and half the summer. Any fights from you and I will have you in court faster than you can say 'cock ring'."

"He's my son, Draco, and I will not have you corrupting him."

"Corrupting him?" Draco's voice rose as he stood from his chair. "Corrupting him, you bitch? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just as it sounds." She stood and came toward him, glaring. No longer sitting for a portrait, she now looked like a spoilt child when told to go to her room. Her face was flushed and if Draco wasn't so angry he might have found it amusing. "If I let you have him he'll turn out to be a fag too and I won't let that happen. I saw you sneaking around all those years, making eyes at all the pretty boys. When you stopped sleeping with me I was glad because you make me sick. As if the Malfoy name could get any more soiled, but you had to try."

"No one would have known at all if you hadn't insisted on the divorce, so don't blame me."

"I had to distance myself from you while I could. Before you were caught by someone who mattered. Like that idiot, Potter. You see the trouble it's caused for him. I wasn't going to be a part of that and neither will Scorpius."

Draco took a deep, steadying breath. "He's my son. And you have no say in it. And if you ever imply that I could or would turn him gay, I won't hesitate before taking this to court and making sure you never poison him with your lies again." He turned and marched toward the door, but she called out to him.

"You'd think you would have more regard for how your family is affected by your lifestyle. Especially after it killed your father."

Draco stopped in the doorway, but only turned his head just enough to speak to her. "I'll pick him up from the train for Easter." And with that, he walked out on her.

Unfortunately the conversation with Astoria planted doubt in his mind. He didn't like to think about the possibility that his sexuality was what pushed his father toward suicide, but anything was possible. And Draco knew that he wasn't the best parent on earth. That much was obvious. But the insinuation that he wasn't good for Scorpius just because he was gay made his blood boil. And if Draco was a bad father for that reason then, by extension of that logic, Harry was a bad father too. Draco was insulted enough for both of them.

It was only one o'clock when Draco returned to his flat. But it was empty and he was desperate to get his mind off Astoria and her bigotry. Smiling to himself, he composed a quick note for Harry, asking him to stop by for lunch.

_H- I'm hard and bored. My place. Now. -D_

He paused as he tied it to the owl's leg. After all, wasn't this a little too… boyfriend-ish? He finally shrugged, not caring how it sounded. He was horny and didn't feel like being alone. As the owl flew out the window Draco sat again to compose a letter to Scorpius. It was short, merely expressing his apologies for not really being there recently. He then informed Scorpius of the plans for Easter. He hoped that Scorpius would respond, though he didn't really expect it. He had just sealed the envelope when there was a knock at his door. Harry was leaning against the door frame smiling as Draco opened the door.

"I got the most interesting note just a few moments ago."

Draco smiled. "And I see you rushed right over."

"I left the office so fast my assistant is probably still trying to figure out what happened. So just how accurate was that note?" he asked, with a glance toward Draco's crotch.

"Why don't you come in here and find out?"

Draco walked toward the bedroom, shedding clothes as he went. Harry quickly closed the door behind him and followed. When he got to the bedroom Draco was already on the bed, naked. He threw his Auror robes on the floor. He'd never gotten out of the habit of wearing jeans and t-shirt under his robes. He figured that as long as no one else saw them he may as well be comfortable. He knelt down on the bed next to Draco who sat up and began unbuckling Harry's belt.

"I got that time off if you still want me to go to Paris."

Draco smiled up at him. "Good. Shall I show you what I want to do to you while we're there?" He tugged Harry's jeans and shorts over his hips, revealing his hard cock. Draco took it in his hand and looked up at Harry once more before taking his entire length into his mouth. Harry moaned and grabbed Draco's shoulder to steady himself.

"Fuck, that's good."

Draco pulled away and took Harry's hand, bringing him down onto the bed. "I want to fuck you," he explained, reaching for the lube.

"I suspected that's why I'm here."

Draco worked quickly with the lube and was inside Harry a moment later. With Harry's feet up over Draco's shoulders he thrust at just the speed and intensity that he knew Harry liked, bringing them both to exquisite climax. Afterward, Draco rested his head on Harry's chest as he caught his breath.

"How much time do you have?"

"I can be missing a little longer. I didn't take lunch yet. Did you finish your business already?"

"Yes." He paused, knowing that Harry would want to talk about things if he mentioned the other stuff. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to talk though. "Then I went to see Astoria."

Harry tensed. "Why?"

"I want to see my son, so I told her that. He's coming here for Easter."

"That's great!"

"Yes, I guess it is. Well, you know my shrink has been telling me for weeks to do this. It was time. I confronted her and I think it's all for the best."

"I'm glad." Harry squeezed him tighter.

"I think I want to tell him about… us."

"Okay."

Draco sat up. "Okay? That's it? Just like that?"

"He's your son. I assume you're trying to be honest with him to repair his trust in you."

"Yes, but this isn't just about me. I out you too."

"I'm already out."

"You're not out as part of a relationship with me. That's a whole other issue."

"If you want to, that's fine. Just as long as I know what you've told him so that I can tell my children. They have to find out eventually anyway."

"They do?"

"If we're in this for the long term, yes."

"Hm."

"Are we?"

Draco settled back down with his head rested on Harry's shoulder. He wasn't really sure why he hesitated, but the whole conversation made him uncomfortable. But what was the alternative? He couldn't picture himself without Harry. He took a deep breath before he answered. "Well, I don't invite just anyone to Paris with me, you know."


	15. 3

****UPDATE** I did make some minor changes to the French translations after reader suggestions. Chibi, I stole a couple of your lines. Hope you don't mind! :)**

**Author's Note: Please excuse any translation errors in this chapter and the next. I was relying heavily on translator programs and the tiny bit that I remember from my high school French class. If anyone catches a major error, let me know. Also, thanks for all your wonderful comments on the last chapter!**

**Chapter Warning: R rating, sexual situations involving more than 2 people at a time.**

**Chapter Fifteen – 3**

Harry couldn't get out of London fast enough. The _Daily Prophet_ really hadn't let up on him much since his outing. Nearly every day there was at least a little something written about him. Most often it was speculation on who he was dating, but no one had even come close to discovering the truth about Draco. When it came time for his trip to Paris with Draco, he stopped by Ginny's place after work Friday to let her know how to find him in case of an emergency, but no one else knew exactly what the trip included. She hadn't let the occasion pass without teasing him a little.

"Going out of town with Malfoy? Sounds like this is serious."

"Maybe," Harry smiled.

Her eyes widened before she grinned at him. "Harry James Potter, you are happy."

Harry feigned upset. "How dare you!"

"Deny it, but you are."

"I'm happy to be getting away from London. How about that?"

"Oh, Harry's in love," she giggled.

"Stop it. It's just a weekend that we both need."

"Whatever you say. But when you go out of town with someone it means something."

"Yes, it means that the local newspaper can't stop writing about me and I have to go to another country to get away."

As Harry left the house to meet up with Draco, it occurred to him that he really was quite happy, despite everything. His life was a complete mess, but Draco made him happy. And their relationship could not have been going better. They didn't spend every night together, but Draco was going out with other men much less frequently. And Harry had only gone out once, but that was in part because he was still avoiding public places due to unwanted attention. He liked the way things worked between them, even though he was infinitely more content when Draco was in his bed at night. He couldn't officially say that he was in love, but there really was no other explanation.

The trip to Paris took multiple apparitions. From the Paris Visitors Apparition Location they caught a cab to the muggle sector. There would be less chance of being recognized there. They checked into their hotel room, which was less a room and more like a mansion to Harry. Draco had booked them an entire suite for the weekend, much fancier than anything Harry had ever stayed in before.

"This is amazing."

"Only the best in Paris, Harry." Draco opened the curtains wide, letting in the afternoon light. "And there's a club that is by far the most amazing place I've ever been. Wait until you see it. The music is great, men are beautiful and the drinks are exquisite. It's perfect."

"Sounds great."

"Better than great. And we have until Monday morning before we have to do anything other than fuck."

"I like that."

They'd come into the city late in the evening for anything other than a night in with room service. They were both tired out by the trip and Harry had worked all day before that. Draco promised that the next evening they would venture out to discover the Paris night life and that was just what they did.

The first stop was to a place that Draco swore was the best bar in town. He was correct in stating that the drinks were like heaven. And the men were damn near perfect. One dark haired young man began flirting with Harry in French and Harry noticed the shock on Draco's face when he flirted right back. After the man left, Draco turned to Harry with a look of curiosity.

"I didn't know you spoke French so well. You said you'd only been here a couple times."

"I did. During the war we stayed with Bill and Fleur for a while, but I didn't realize at the time how much of the language I picked up just by being around her. She would sing and talk to herself in French while cooking or cleaning. One day, quite a while after, I decided to actually study it and discovered that I pick up languages really well. It comes in handy at work when we have international cases or there are foreign dignitaries visiting."

"That's not 'really well,' Harry. Many people can speak a second language, but it takes skill to flirt so effectively in one. The things you just said are not things that one learns in a class or book. I had to live here for months before I was that fluent."

Harry shrugged.

"Yes, act like it is not a big deal. You said _languages_-plural; what others can you speak?"

"Spanish, German and a little Italian. I know a few phrases or words in several others."

"How is it that I didn't know this?"

"You never asked. It doesn't really come up in our conversations. Unless you'd like me to use one of those languages to talk dirty in bed."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Let me think about that… yes, of course."

"Which one?"

"Any of them. All of them. Surprenez-moi."

"Tes désirs sont mes orders."

After drinks, it was on to the club that Draco swore was heaven on earth. The beat of the music could be heard halfway down the block and Harry's heart began to pound in his chest. Stepping inside, Harry was struck by how much had missed this. He hadn't been dancing since the paper outed him. There was too much chance of running into someone who would sell pictures- or a story- to the paper. Especially since they still didn't know who the original source even was. But no one from home knew that they were in Paris. And though he was still a recognizable figure in wizarding France, he was completely unknown among their muggles. He was free there.

Draco grabbed his hand, pulling him out onto the dance floor and until then Harry hadn't realized that he was just standing still, taking it all in. Draco got right into it, even closing his eyes as he worked his hips. Harry grinned and pulled him in close.

"Do you remember the first time we danced?"

Draco opened his eyes and smiled. "You were terrible at it."

"I thought you were insane. And hot. Did I ever tell you that?"

Draco shook his head. "I knew it anyway. You were so lost you didn't know what or who you wanted."

"I was terrified," Harry admitted. "And there you were, completely at ease touching me and I didn't know how to react to that."

"Sure you did. You had a huge erection."

"Did not."

Even under the club lighting Draco could see him blush. He grabbed Harry's ass to pull him in closer. "How about now? Do you have one now?" He brought them together, groins rubbing against each other so that he could tell that yes, Harry did in fact have an erection now. He grinned. And the night was just getting started.

Later, Harry and Draco were dancing rather closely when a very young blond approached them. On the dance floor there were several kinds of people. There were the ones just there for the dancing. They went to escape for the evening, but weren't looking for anything apart from the joy and exercise that dancing gave them. Then there were the men who went just to see what would happen. They didn't go out of their way to pick up anyone, but rather just mingled and went along with whatever was going on. Maybe he would find someone to go home with, or maybe he would meet up with some friends for drinks. It didn't matter. The third kind was by far the most interesting. The third was on the prowl. He liked dancing and drinking, but his main purpose in going out was sexual satisfaction. He was looking for someone to fuck and wasn't going home without it. And this young man fell into that third category.

On the dance floor there were no rules. People danced with whomever they wanted and switched partners when someone hotter caught their eye. Harry apparently caught the boy's eye first and he felt hands come around his waist from behind and only half looked behind him when he felt the other man's body touch his. He was muscular and a good dancer. Harry leaned back into his touch but met Draco's eyes quickly. Draco nodded imperceptibly, giving permission, but then his gaze shifted to the man behind Harry with unmistakable lust.

With the young man grinding into Harry from behind, Harry made sure to keep his eyes on Draco's face. He watched gray eyes focus in on the man's hands, which were currently resting on Harry's hips. Draco moved a step closer and put his hand over the man's. His eyes flickered over to Harry's briefly, but then shifted to a spot over Harry's right shoulder. A sort of silent communication was happening and Harry knew the language well. Draco was attracted to their dancing partner and seeing him so turned on was actually making Harry hard too.

And that gave him an idea. Harry reached a hand up to slide across the side of the man's face and reached around to his neck and pulled him in closer. Glancing back at Draco once more, Harry turned his head and kissed the man. He was a good kisser, Harry thought. Not as good as Draco, but he knew what he was doing. As good as he was, the thing that made Harry the most excited was the knowledge that Draco was watching them. Harry could hear him groan in pleasure and desire as he watched.

An hour later Draco was showing their young friend into their hotel room. The boy, for Harry didn't believe he could be any older than twenty, had kept himself glued to Harry's side since they left the club. The cab ride had been a cozy one. The blond man continued to kiss Harry and Draco alternately and there were hands roaming all over each other.

The door swung open and the blond stopped long enough to admire the room. A moment later he was all over Harry, moving them farther into the room. Draco led the way into the bedroom, opening doors and turning on just enough lights to see where they were going. Once inside, Harry found himself pressed against the nearest wall, the man's lips pressed against his own. Draco approached from behind and turned the blond's head to claim a kiss. As his tongue explored the man's mouth, the man's hands moved to Draco's trousers, unbuckling his belt and tugging the zipper. The man broke the kiss, smirking before dropping to his knees. Draco's eyes followed him at first but then met Harry's, asking permission. To his surprise, Harry only smiled. What they were doing grossly violated every rule that Draco thought was important to Harry in a relationship. But there Harry was, giving him the okay to do this, _wanting_ him to do this even. A moment later, the man's mouth covered Draco's cock and all intelligent thought disappeared.

Harry reached out and stroked Draco's cheek, leaning in to kiss him on the mouth. When he pulled away he began unbuttoning Draco's shirt and pulled it off his shoulders so that he was left with just his trousers around his ankles. He looked down at the blond head bobbing up and down on his prick. To the side, he could hear Harry stripping off his own clothes and climbing onto the giant bed. He glanced to see Harry laying on the bed, stroking his dick, eyes glued to the young man sucking Draco off.

A few minutes later, Draco was coming in the man's mouth. He rose slowly from the floor, licking his lips. He looked over at Harry still stroking himself, his cock dripping pre come.

"Is that for me?" The man asked in a thick French accent. "Are you going to put that inside me?"

Harry groaned. Draco bent the man over the bed. Then the lube was being opened. Draco slipped a finger inside the man, then a second, the whole time murmuring, both in English and French, how hard Harry was going to fuck him. And he did. Draco watched from the bed, jerking off, as Harry stood and fucked the man against the bed.

When they had all come, Draco for the second time that evening, Harry pulled back the sheets to get rid of the mess and lay down. Their friend followed his lead and laid next to him. Draco laid his head on Harry's outstretched arm, the closest thing to cuddling he was willing to do with their guest still present. They were all out of breath, tired. They stayed that way for a few moments and just as Draco was wishing that he could be alone with Harry, his lover's hand brushed against his shoulder in a way he sensed was not just a casual touch. Looking up, he saw Harry glance meaningfully toward the blond man and Draco understood. He was being asked to get rid of him. Harry was too nice to do it himself and knew for a fact that Draco enjoyed kicking people out immediately after sex.

After a brief, but stern conversation, Draco stood, still completely naked and showed their guest to the door. The man thanked him for the evening and offered to meet up again sometime, but Draco graciously declined. They had limited time in Paris and he wasn't inclined to waste it with repeat performances. Disappointed, the man, who they never did catch the name of, leaned in close to Draco for one last kiss. Draco returned the kiss enthusiastically. After all, who was he to turn down a good kiss? But when the kiss ended, he opened the door of their hotel room and the man left.

Draco returned to the bedroom reflecting on the fact that although he had just showed a strange man to the door, he was not going to be alone this evening. There were very few people he had ever allowed to stay the night and he was accustomed to an empty bed after an evening of sex. That was the way he had always liked it. But this was even better. He had discovered that knowing Harry was in the bedroom waiting for him was so much more fulfilling than having those quiet hours alone in bed. And as amazing as their young friend had been, laying down next to Harry made the evening complete.

"Did you get rid of him?" Harry asked as Draco crawled into the large bed. Once the man was gone Harry had found his wand and thoroughly cleaned the blankets and was now curled up under them. Draco nodded. "He wasn't too disappointed, was he?"

"Heartbroken." Draco slid closer to Harry and wrapped an arm around his torso. "I was surprised you wanted to bring him back with us."

Harry shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. He was hot and I could tell you wanted him."

"You never wanted this. You want to keep me for yourself. Why would you be okay with this?"

"Are you upset that I am?"

"No. I just think that you'll regret it in the morning. You'll remember your Gryffindor values and completely freak out."

"Gryffindors may stick to their values, but we're hardly the pure innocents you seem to be picturing. For example, I don't believe that in order to be committed to one person forever you must abstain from sex with others. I know people who are very happy in open relationships and have been for years."

Draco's look was skeptical at best and Harry answered the unasked question.

"Charlie Weasley. He's been with the same girlfriend for ages, but their jobs keep them apart a lot. She travels and he mostly stays in Romania. They have an agreement that sex is just sex and it doesn't mean anything if they sleep with someone else when they're apart. But if you saw them together, you would never know that there was anything different about their relationship."

"You want that?"

"I don't know what I want. I believe that sex and love do not have to be a matched set. I believe that trust is more important than monogamy. And I believe that I can trust you."

"But there was no chance your marriage was ever going to be anything other than what it was."

"Probably not. But Ginny, as liberal as she is in other ways, believes that you should love the person you're fucking and that you should only be loving or fucking one person at a time. I'm still working out how I feel about it all."

"So tonight was just an experiment because you hadn't done it before?"

"Partly. Mostly I was just being led by my dick." Harry turned to face Draco, running a hand over his bicep. "And I think it was something we could have let happen a long time ago if we hadn't been so afraid to. I mean, it's one thing to go to bed with different people separately. It means were keeping things distant and casual. Picking up a strange man in a club may not be a typical thing for a couple to do, but it's something we're doing together."

It made a certain kind of twisted sense. This wasn't just some random threesome. It had taken a certain amount of trust to carry it out as they did. They had achieved a level of communication and understanding that was beyond anything else they'd experienced. They each knew that the other wouldn't force him into anything. There was an unspoken agreement from the start that both of them had to be comfortable for it to work. Draco's primary motivation for many years had been his own pleasure and as alarming as it was, he'd begun to notice a shift. He'd started making decisions based on not only his feelings _for_ Harry, but Harry's own feelings as well. He'd actually hesitated before getting his cock sucked to ensure that Harry didn't have a problem with it. It was a foreign feeling, looking out for someone else. This relationship, whatever it was, was something that Draco had never experienced. And as much as it scared him, he didn't know how to give it up.

Harry smiled at Draco's silent reflection. "Or we can just blame it on Paris."

"The city made you do it? That's a terrible excuse. But it works for me."

Harry grinned, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Tu veux encore baiser?"

Draco pulled him in closer and, just before landing a kiss on his lips, whispered, "Oui."

_**French-English translations  
**__**Surprenez-moi. = Surprise me.  
**__**Tes désirs sont mes orders. = Your wish is my command.  
**__**Tu veux encore baiser? = Do you want to fuck again?**_


	16. L'amour à Paris

**Thanks to everyone who helped out with some of the French on the last chapter. Especially chibi. Your in depth comments really helped me figure things out. Some changes have been made accordingly. My problem is that I don't remember much of the French that I learned many years ago. Plus, my teacher was from France and everyone else I've ever heard speak French are from Quebec. And just like any language, there are differences from country to country. :)**

**Chapter Sixteen – ****L'amour à Paris**

When Harry awoke Tuesday morning he was alone. Draco's side of the large hotel bed was cold, but there was humidity in the air, indicating that the shower had been running recently. Deciding to find him, Harry slid out of bed, wrapping a sheet around his bare waist, and padded out to the sitting room. He found Draco seated at the desk with a stack of paperwork next to his arm as scribbled notes in the margin of something. He was wearing the hotel's fluffy white bathrobe and his hair was still wet from the shower.

"Hey you."

Draco looked up with a frown. His secrecy over the business papers was really beginning to annoy Harry, but it was a private matter and Draco really didn't owe him any explanation on it. He'd met some of Draco's business associates the previous day, something that Harry hadn't really been expecting and a huge step for Draco in opening up. Even so, it didn't really provide any further clues as to what Draco really did and Harry tried to tame his curiosity.

A damp bit of hair hung down over Draco's forehead and touched his glasses. He pushed it out of the way. "Hey. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Yes," Harry laughed. "Your papers were just _so_ noisy."

"I have a couple more things to finish before we leave. It won't take long and we can get lunch after."

"What's all this for?" Harry gestured to the papers.

Draco sighed and set down his quill. "That stack is a potions supplies company. They are based here in Paris, but the owner has reached retirement age and wanted to sell. I've been a loyal investor for some time now, so I was his logical first thought as a buyer. All I have to do is complete the money transfer. The lawyers have all signed off on it."

"How big is this company?"

"Huge. They supply potions shops in four different countries. I have plans to start exporting some of it to America. There are things they can't get as easily there and other things they have that we need. I'm hoping to get a trade contract with a company there."

"Wow. I didn't realize it was so involved. And what about this other stuff? The stuff you were reading when I walked in."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Draco sighed again. "It's business reports for the Medical Magical Research Association. They develop magical charms and potions to treat and cure various illnesses."

"And you own part of it?"

"Yes, and sit on the Board of Directors. I help decide what direction their research and business should take for one of the divisions."

"Which division?"

"They specialize in… damage inflicted by Dark spells."

Harry turned away from the paperwork, which he didn't understand anyway, to look at Draco. "What?"

"You heard me," Draco mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"You're trying to… undo Dark magic."

"You can't undo, Potter, you can only fix some of the damage."

"Still… this is big. You, Draco Malfoy, trying to erase Dark magic."

"My father had the idea at first. I only continued his work. And it isn't much. I mean we're the businessmen, not the scientists."

"Tell me about their research."

"You don't want to know about that. It's really boring."

Harry picked up the second set of paperwork that looked to be meeting notes. Scanning it quickly the words "Cruciatus Curse" jumped out at him. He read the paragraph over more thoroughly and looked back at Draco in awe.

"Can they really reverse it?"

"Not anytime soon, if at all."

Harry looked back at the papers. "But there's this muggle drug…?"

Draco shook his head. "No, it's a muggle disease called Alzheimer's. In its advanced stages it really resembles severe Cruciatus damage, so there is a researcher right here in Paris who is looking at the ways that muggles treat it and she is using the same concepts in her magical exploration." He scowled at the way Harry was looking at him. "That's not the only curse they've researched you know. It's just one of many Dark spells that don't have sufficient cures."

"How do you pick which ones they do then?"

"I have a lot of experience with that one. It was Aunt Bella's favorite curse. There's no telling how many lives she destroyed with it. Just seemed like a good idea."

"So you're just going to keep going until you erase everything bad that the Malfoys or Blacks ever did?"

"No. But someone in my family has to take responsibility, don't they?"

Harry smiled. "I love you." He didn't mean for it to come out, but he wasn't sorry that it did. Draco looked up at him in surprise, but quickly turned away, scoffing.

"Don't be absurd, Potter." He stood and started toward the bedroom. Harry followed.

"What if I'm not being absurd? What if I completely mean it?"

"Because my business practices are to your liking?" Draco shook his head and began searching through the closet for his business clothes. Harry stopped in the doorway watching him.

"Because I love you. That's it. I have for a while maybe. Today I just ran out of reasons to not say it."

Draco paused with his hands on his hanging clothes. "I can't say it back."

Harry nodded. "You will some day."

"You're so confident," he replied, completely exasperated. He turned around with his clothes in hand. "One of these days you will get tired of waiting for me to say it. You will get tired of waiting for me to do a lot of things that I'm not ready for."

"I'm a patient person, you know."

"And I'm a very trying person."

"I've known that about you since the first day we met. That's one thing about you that hasn't changed."

"I'll never understand you, Potter."

"You'll just have to stick around longer and try."

Draco threw his clothes down on the nearby chair and walked toward Harry with a sly smile. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

"Good."

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's neck. "You really don't care that I won't say it?"

"You will when you're ready."

"I'll never figure out why you love me."

Harry placed a tender kiss on his lips. "Me either," he murmured.

"I don't actually have to be down to the lawyer's office for a couple more hours."

"Mm. And here we have this big bed and two whole hours. What should we do?" He slipped his hands inside the dressing gown to find that Draco hadn't bothered to put on any clothes when he got out of the shower. And Harry decided that he really loved Paris.

Draco's business dealings that morning didn't take long and then they were saying goodbye to Paris. It wasn't so much about the city though. It was being away with Draco that Harry was really enjoying. What was it about weekends away that made a relationship feel so much more official?

Going back to London had never felt so dreadful. In Paris, where no one knew them, they were free to be open with each other when they had been so used to hiding. Going back home was something like going back to prison. And the whole way back all Harry could think of was having told Draco that he loved him. With that out in the open, with their relationship progressing the way it was, there wouldn't be a way to keep it hidden much longer. Really they'd been lucky they weren't found out before now. Harry knew there would be some criticism of him dating a Malfoy, but it was Draco who objected the most to going public.

The trip wasn't very lengthy. It involved one long apparition and two smaller ones, but by the time they made it to Harry's flat they were both exhausted. Draco opted for returning to his own place to check on things since he hadn't been there in a few days. Truthfully he hadn't been there in a few weeks. For some reason they always stayed at Harry's. And after Harry's confession of love, he figured Draco needed some space just now.

Harry fell straight into bed when he got home, with only time to remove his clothes and pull up the blankets. His dreams were filled of Paris and Draco and young good looking men dancing in nightclubs, quite pleasant actually and he wouldn't have minded if they could have lasted the entire night. Unfortunately, the universe had other ideas for him.

As Harry started to become aware of his surroundings again he could still hear the knocking on the door echoing in his head, though the source of the noise had ceased. As his brain had nearly convinced him to ignore it, another noise entered his eardrums.

"Harry James Potter, I'm coming in!"

Harry attempted to sit up, but gave up and dropped back down into his pillows.

"If Draco is here he better cover himself because I'm coming in."

The bedroom door opened and it took Harry a moment to remember where he was. When he opened his eyes Ginny was standing over him with an amused expression.

"No Draco tonight?"

"He's at his place. What are you doing here?"

"Came to talk," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He sat up and the blankets pooled around his waist, naked underneath. Out of courtesy she looked away. "I wondered if you could take Lily for the entire weekend and Thursday night. I know it's last minute, but I've been asked to go to Denmark to cover their World Cup preparations."

Harry reached for his glasses on the night stand and slid them on his face, still adjusting to this unwelcome level of consciousness. "For the _Prophet_?"

Though she never officially quit the paper after the article about Harry, she hadn't really been doing much work for them either. And she certainly wouldn't go out of her way to accommodate them.

"No. _Quidditch World_ contacted me about working for them from now until the World Cup in August."

"Wow. Yeah, I'll watch Lily."

"How was your trip?"

Harry gave an involuntary smile at the sudden reminder of where he had been only hours ago. "Great."

She grinned. "With a smile like that, 'great' needs to be elaborated on."

He pulled the blankets up higher, blushing. "I'm not going to go into detail, if that's what you're asking."

"Why not?"

"We used to be married. I don't ask you about Dean, do I?"

"No, but you have to admit, it's a little different. I mean, you and Dean are physically not all that different. However, I suspect Draco and I are much more so. I'm curious. That's all."

Harry stared at her for a moment, as if she'd lost her mind. Finally realization struck and he groaned. "No, you're one of _those_ women!"

"What women?"

"One of those… the ones with the gay best friend who hangs out in gay bars hoping to see a little guy-on-guy action." He shook his head. "I'm so disappointed in you right now."

"I am certainly not hoping to see anything. I'm only trying to understand it. I certainly don't want the play by play of your sex life with Draco. I'm still trying to figure out how this works. I mean the part about you suddenly showing interest in men, not the actual mechanics of it of course. I… er… understand that part."

They both blushed a deeper shade of red during a most awkward silence.

"So," Ginny cleared her throat. "About your trip…"

"We had fun. I mean, I've seen Paris before, but not the places that we went. It was amazing. Really it wasn't a whole lot different from how we would spend an evening here, only we were away from anyone who cares who we are. Their wizarding community is a lot more gay-friendly than ours, I noticed. Nothing like how open muggles are these days, but better anyway. We didn't really hide much. For the little bit that I saw Draco's business partners, they seemed perfectly fine with my being there. They knew who I was to Draco and they didn't care."

"That's great. But that's not the part that has you grinning like an idiot, is it?"

"There was a lot to grin about. Saturday we went out drinking, dancing, had a lot of fun. Met some… interesting people. Sunday he took me to some of his favorite places in the city and stayed in the hotel most of the day. Monday he had meetings and I went a long for some of it. And today… I saw a side of him I didn't completely know was there. I knew he was a good person of course, but there was more to it."

"Like what?"

"I told him I love him, Gin."

"What? Really? What did he say?"

"Exactly what I was expecting him to say. Nothing."

The grin immediately slid off her face. "What?"

"He can't say it and I knew that when I said it. That's fine."

"Maybe for now. It won't be forever though."

"No. But who cares? Just the fact that I said it is big enough, isn't it?"

"Yes. It's huge and I'm proud of you, but I also know you well enough to know that you need to hear him say it eventually."

"I'll worry about that eventually then. Don't worry about me, Gin."

"I can't help it. I'm used to worrying about you. I like Draco, as weird as that is to say, and I think he could be good for you. But you have to look out for yourself and your own happiness. You spent too long not being happy to sit by and wait for someone who may never be able to fully love you back."

"Thank you for the lecture. Now can you leave so I can sleep?"

"It's not even ten. Why are you sleeping?"

"You know how long distance apparition gets to me. And for some reason, I didn't get much sleep the last couple nights."

Ginny's cheeks turned pink again at the return to the subject of sex. It wasn't that she usually blushed so frequently, but the idea of Harry and Draco actually having sex was something she didn't really know how to process.

"Harry… I'm not sure how to ask this without sounding… well, like a horribly insecure woman."

"What?"

"Well this is really uncomfortable. And I really don't want to hear about your sex life, but I am still trying to understand, like I said before. And since we were sort of already on the subject… Are you really gay?" He frowned and she hurried to explain. "I mean, are you not attracted to women at all? I just wonder if you were ever really attracted to me, or if somehow your attraction changed to just not include me anymore."

Harry shifted a little on the bed before realizing that there was no comfortable way to have this conversation. "I don't know if I can really answer that entirely. I was attracted to you, but I don't think it's completely about physical attraction. Part of it is. I don't know why it took me so long to be interested in men. I honestly don't know if that's something that can actually change or if I was hiding it from myself. I know that after the war I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have the kind of family that I'd never had as a kid. I suppose it's possible that I was blinded by that, but I do know that I was in love with you and happy."

"But if it's not just about attraction, then what is it?"

"I don't know. I mean, I was attracted to a lot more than your looks or gender. I've always loved your spirit, personality. That's at least part of the attraction. And when we were in love everything was great. Once our relationship started to change… I don't know. Maybe it just allowed me to see what I hadn't before."

"So you're not attracted to women at all?"

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I guess I haven't been around very many women lately." He reached up and touched her cheek. "I still think you're beautiful though."

She smiled. "Well maybe you're… bisexual or something. And I know it really doesn't matter as long as you're comfortable with who you are. I shouldn't push to you to put a label on yourself."

"No, Gin. If anyone deserves an explanation it's you. I just wish I had a better one to give you."

"So you like women, you just like men better."

Harry considered it a moment. "Something like that. Yes."

"Thank you, Harry." She leaned in for an embrace out of instinct. As her arms were encircling his neck she was reminded of where they were and how little Harry was wearing. "I guess I was just feeling insecure. Wondering if you could have ever been really attracted to me."

"I was. Don't worry about that." He rubbed her back in a comforting gesture. "Maybe in some ways I still am."

She pulled back to look at his face, wondering exactly what that meant. He ran a hand over her cheek again. They were still very close and her hands were still on his shoulders.

"Harry…"

There was something familiar and comfortable about having her there. Harry had emotionally been through a lot the past year since their break up, but he still cared for her, still thought she was sexy and beautiful and all the things he thought back when he was sixteen. That hadn't really changed, even if everything else had. On impulse, or maybe out of curiosity, he leaned in to kiss her mouth. Her grasp on his neck tightened as she kissed him back, but it was mechanical, empty. It was a routine that one had done so many times there didn't need to be any thought in it. Like brushing your teeth or tying shoestrings.

The kiss ended naturally, as if on its own. It was slow and familiar, but ultimately a reminder of what didn't exist anymore. They each pulled back at the conclusion, frowning in confusion.

Ginny laughed nervously. "That just doesn't work anymore, does it?"

"No." Harry ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"It was as much my fault as yours. At least that erases any lingering doubts. If there were any."

"I meant what I said: you're still the most beautiful woman I know. All this means is that we really have moved on."

"It's a little sad in a way. But good at the same time. It's hard to explain, but you know what I mean?"

Harry nodded. He felt the same.

"Well, I should let you catch up on your sleep." She stood. "Thank you for humoring me with this. And as far as I'm concerned, this whole… thing… never happened. It would only confuse and hurt Dean and Draco."

"Right. We'll just consider it an official goodbye kiss, even if it was quite a few months late."

"Good. I'll bring Lily over after work Thursday. Good night, Harry."

Long after the door shut behind her, Harry sat contemplating what had just happened. He knew for a long time that he wasn't in love with her, but this final confirmation that it was really over had still been surprising. He'd felt nothing in that kiss. Not love or lust or just animal horniness. Maybe he really wasn't attracted to women at all. Or maybe his relationship with Ginny had just passed that point of no return into friendship. He didn't know why it had to be so complicated. Ginny said he shouldn't have to put a label on it, but since the entire world wanted to label things, shouldn't he at least know what that label was?

He finally put his glasses down on the table and rolled over to try to sleep again. Maybe Ginny was right and it didn't matter anyway. Maybe people are just attracted to whoever they are attracted to. Maybe there weren't any set rules. All he knew is that he wanted to be with Draco. If there was a label for that then Harry didn't know what it was. Just before falling asleep he decided not to care.


	17. Thoughts of You

**Chapter Seventeen – Thoughts of You**

Harry was seated at the kitchen table just finishing his breakfast when Draco invited himself in. He wore a huge grin and greeted Harry with a minty fresh kiss.

"Good mood this morning?"

They hadn't seen each other at all that week because of Harry's insanely demanding schedule. There was a huge case he was working on and as a result he hadn't even been home in two days. When he finally returned to his flat the night before Draco wasn't there and Harry didn't stay awake long enough to care. There had been a few owl notes exchanged throughout the week, but they were comfortable with the distance, even though they missed each other.

It had been weeks since their trip to Paris and though Harry felt like they were closer, not much had really changed. He made a point of not pushing Draco for a declaration of love. He knew that Draco couldn't really let himself love and trust openly and he didn't even pretend to know all the reasons. But he also knew that Draco would be worth it. If Harry could just wait that long.

"I am in an excellent mood," Draco said, sitting down next to Harry.

"Going to fill me in on it?

He frowned. "You look like hell."

"Thank you. For some reason I can't bounce back from twenty-four hour stakeouts like I could when I was eighteen."

"Speaking of eighteen… I went to Gemini last night…"

Harry yawned. "So that's the number of guys you screwed or the age of them?"

"Age of course. I think they get younger and more good-looking every year."

"Or you get older every year." Harry took the last bite of bacon. "Seriously, isn't eighteen a little young, even for you?"

"I admit it's a little crazy. I mean, I am more than ten years older than him."

Harry's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Draco, our birthdays are not even a full two months apart, so you can't really lie to me. You're more than twenty years older than him." Draco scowled. "You're old enough to be his father."

"Yes, alright," he huffed. "Thank you very much for that."

"Just getting you back for the looking like hell comment," Harry smiled.

"So will you be returning home tonight? Or shall I make other arrangements?"

"I'll owl you. This case isn't over. In fact, I'm supposed to meet with an informant in about an hour. I'm hoping we'll be able to finish this today."

"What's the case?"

"There are some people terrorizing muggles. Selling them cursed objects."

"That's all? That's what has you working all hours of the day and night and giving up sex?"

"It isn't just one or two people having some twisted fun. Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department transferred the case to us weeks ago. There's a team. We think it's pretty big and they are some very serious Dark curses, not your average pranks. And we know that it does involve some former Death Eaters, so…"

Draco's hand froze on a piece of toast. Finally he managed to choke out, "Who?"

Harry paused, then proceeded cautiously. "Greg Goyle is one of them. We're not sure about all of the others."

Now Draco was curious. "Who is your source?"

"I can't tell you that," Harry smiled.

"Someone I know, isn't it?"

"I can't tell you that either. Ron is the only one who knows. By the way, Easter is in two weeks."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Smooth change of subject."

"I know. Did you still want to tell Scorpius about us?"

Draco shoved a piece of toast in his mouth to keep from having to answer.

"We need to talk about this. It affects both of us."

"That is why I was thinking about not telling him."

"What? I want you to tell him. I think it'll be good. I just want to know ahead of time so my kids can know too."

"You need to think about this. Remember how everyone reacted when the paper outed you? What do you think is going to happen if they find out that you're seeing a Malfoy?"

"It won't be that bad."

"Harry, I was a Death Eater and you killed Voldemort. Think about it. Picture the headline."

"You weren't really one of them."

"To anyone else I was. To most people, anyone who has the Mark is one of them and therefore not worthy of you. They'll probably say I used the Imperius on you or something."

"That's absurd. Let me worry about it."

Draco let out a frustrated growl and stood up to begin pacing. "The problem is you won't worry about it. You don't care about your reputation, but that's because you don't see just how much it's done for you. Everything about the comfortable way you live your life now is because of the war and what your name means to people."

"I don't think my reputation is going to be that badly damaged by you. And even if it is, so what? I'd rather be honest and be hated than have people like me for the wrong reasons, or for something I did more than twenty years ago."

Draco stopped pacing and turned to face Harry. "I can't be the reason that your reputation is destroyed."

Harry walked toward him and ran a hand over the side of Draco's face. He really did appreciate what Draco was trying to do, but truthfully he welcomed having everything out in the open. He still didn't care for his private life being public, but since it would be eventually there was something to be said for getting it over with. "What if I want you to be? What if I want to walk right into the _Daily Prophet _office and tell them all that I'm madly in love with you?"

"Potter, if you did that, I would have you committed to a mental hospital."

"So you'd try to stop me? From announcing it?"

"Of course I would. It's nobody's business and I think we should just keep it to ourselves for a while longer."

"So you're not going to be honest with Scorpius?"

"Damn it, Harry. This isn't about my son or yours or anyone else. It's not his business who I sleep with, so I don't see the need to trouble him with it."

"It's about building a relationship with him again."

"Well maybe it's not worth it."

Harry froze, then stepped back a little. "Wow. Going public with me is so traumatic that you'd sacrifice your already strained relationship with your son. That's… good to know, I guess. Thanks for clearing that up." Harry left the kitchen and Draco found him a moment later putting on his cloak, jaw firmly set in his pissed off face.

"Please don't sulk, Potter. You're not a twelve year old girl."

"No, I'm a whole other kind of embarrassment, apparently."

"Harry…"

"Really it is good to know where I stand I guess."

"This doesn't have anything to do with you and me."

"It doesn't have to do with Scorpius and it doesn't have to do with us… so I'm a little confused I guess. There has to be a reason."

"I'm saving you from your own downfall."

"No, you're saving yourself from having to ever make a commitment. As long as no one knows you can walk away. Once we tell people then you have to acknowledge that you could possibly care about something other than fucking eighteen year olds in the back room of some club!"

"Well maybe you only want to tell people so I can't walk away. Ever think of that? Maybe you want me trapped and forever labeled by you!"

"I want to tell people because I love you. I want to tell everyone I know that I'm in love with you and why, but instead I lie. I tell people I'm not seeing anyone because that's what we agreed and I respect you. But our own children?" Draco seemed taken aback, but Harry didn't let up on him. "Do you know how many love letters I get in a month? They were rare before, but ever since my divorce I get several a month. Even since I came out they haven't stopped. I don't reply of course, but now and then one of my admirers will find me in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade and then I have to say something. You know what I say? I tell them I'm not looking for a relationship. Or that I'm still looking for the right person. And every single time I want to say the truth. That I found someone who is perfect for me. I want to tell them to give up because they will never come close to matching the person that I love. But I don't say anything because we aren't public. And how can I say that I'm in love with a man who won't acknowledge that he's even friends with me?"

"Harry…"

He sighed, a look of true regret passing over his face. "Look, I really do have to go. I have that source to meet with and I really shouldn't have this conversation when I haven't slept. We can talk about this tonight."

Draco nodded stupidly, still a bit stunned by all that Harry had said. "Don't forget to owl me."

Harry gave a quick nod and when he got to the door he stopped as if he wanted to say something more, but then continued. Draco lingered at Harry's flat for a bit longer, telling himself that he'd made the right decision, but feeling as if he'd do anything to take it back.

Harry's day didn't go much better from there. He met with Ron right on time at a little café in Manchester. It was the preferred location of their source. Ron was outside holding his coat tightly around himself. The temperature had dropped unexpectedly the previous evening and no one was quite prepared for the resurgence of winter when most of March had been quite pleasant.

"She here yet?" Harry asked.

"Inside. And I want to say once again how bad I think this idea is."

"She's the only one who can tell us what we need."

"And it's proven fact that she will sell you out for what _she_ needs."

Harry frowned. "That's why we don't trust sources blindly. No different from any other job. Now can we please go in before I freeze my balls off?"

"Someone's in a bad mood," Ron commented as he opened the door.

"Never ending cases do that to me."

They looked around quickly and found their source in the far corner, where she usually was. Ron approached her carefully, as if only waiting for her to draw her wand. Harry was far more relaxed, despite their history with her.

"Good morning, Pansy."

She grinned like a cheshire cat. "Good morning, Auror Potter. Weasley. What can I do for the Aurors today?"

Harry sat down across from her. "I need to know what you've heard from Goyle's people."

She glanced from one side of the room to the other, ensuring their privacy. One couldn't be too careful. Then she took a slip of parchment out of her cloak pocket and slid it across the table. Harry picked it up and showed it to Ron.

"How do we know this is right?" asked Ron.

"Have I ever led you boys astray before?"

"She has as much to lose from Death Eaters as we do," Harry reminded him.

"I don't buy it. She was as much one of them as any of the others."

Pansy scoffed. "Just goes to show the prejudice in the Auror department."

Truthfully there was plenty reason to distrust Pansy, but since the war she had been a model citizen. She married into a prestigious pureblood family, but one that had done all in their power to distance themselves from Voldemort during both wars. They valued their reputation and Pansy had done her part in keeping it so pristine. When old school friends began contacting her she tried to ignore and conceal it. It had been Harry, during the investigation, who had discovered that they were trying to enlist her help. He went to her, something that Ron still didn't understand. But Harry recognized that she was more interested in her reputation than joining the cause of terrorists.

"This is where they're headquartered?" Harry clarified.

"That's what I was told. I'm supposed to go there tomorrow to meet with Greg, so I'd appreciate it if you'd do your whole Auror thing before then. I have no intention of keeping that appointment."

"We'll look into it, but I can't make promises. If they contact you again let us know."

"Look, I can't risk the family finding out what's going on here. Figure it out or I'm done. I'll tell Greg that other things have come up, anything, but I'm not getting any further involved." She stood and straightened her coat before leaving.

"I still don't trust her."

"Of course not, but can we at least consider the address she gave us?"

After several hours of checking and double checking, all signs indicated that Pansy's address was legitimate. Harry and Ron began to plan the attack. They would take two squads, just to be safe. No one knew exactly how many people were involved and they weren't taking any chances. Ron's team would go in first while Matthews would have his squad surround the building. Their Auror expert in protective charms and hexes, Holly Hildenberg, was also enlisted to clear the way for Ron's team so that they wouldn't encounter any surprises in the enemy's defenses.

They briefed the two teams who were involved and set the disapparition time on the mission for a half hour. Harry and Ron returned to Harry's office to iron out the final details and prepare themselves for the mission. In public Ron was the model second in command Auror. He stood by Harry confidently and inspired the same in his team. Privately, Ron hadn't let up on his assertions that Pansy was not to be trusted.

"Will you just drop it? I get that you don't trust her. I've made a note of it. Now leave it alone."

"What is your problem today? Malfoy not putting out?"

"As if I've been home long enough to get any with this case working us to death."

"That's no excuse. It doesn't matter how late we're working, I just wake Hermione up when I get home, you know?"

"I really didn't need to hear that."

"She wouldn't forgive me if I didn't. She's really demanding when she hasn't had sex in a few days."

"Once again, didn't want to know that."

"Thank Merlin for silencing charms, eh?"

"Ron, if you keep talking I'm going to tell about last Saturday night. Including who topped."

Ron cleared his throat awkwardly. "Sorry. Seriously though, what's going on today?"

"I haven't seen him in days and we fought this morning."

"About what?"

"Telling the kids about us."

"It's a big step. I don't blame him if he doesn't want to."

Harry stared at Ron for several seconds. "You just agreed with Draco."

Ron blinked a couple times. "If you ever tell him, you're a dead man."

"Auror Potter?" Harry's assistant, Natalie, poked her head in the door. "They're waiting for you now."

"Thanks." Harry looked back at Ron. "Let's get this over with."

A group of twenty of them apparated to a farm in the north, the place Pansy had said they would be. The place looked as if it was abandoned. The house was large, almost as big as the barn, and so rundown it was a wonder it was still standing.

Goyle had been quiet since his release from Azkaban until recently when the pranks started up. And they had been getting worse lately. Much worse. The last incident required a team of obliviaters and two muggles spent a week in St. Mungo's recovering. It had been enough to attract the attention of the muggle police.

The Ministry had a number of contacts among muggle law enforcement. Many of them were family members of wizards or squibs, who had known about magic for many years, so that the statute of secrecy would not be violated by working with them. Harry hated having the muggle police involved though. Situations involving muggles were always trickier, but the more muggles were involved the worse it got. Muggle police were simultaneously offended by the intrusion into their territory and demanded that the wizards clean up after themselves. In this case, Harry had convinced the muggles to stay out of it, which was just one more hurdle in getting the mess sorted.

Harry gave the signal for the team to surround the house. Pansy's information had indicated that only Goyle and two others lived there. The rest of the team only came by when they were planning something. The Aurors hadn't prepared for any more than three or four people.

Harry stayed back as everyone began moving in on the farm house. It was supposed to be a simple extraction. Aurors were trained to do things simply and not engage in battle unless it was absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, signs of battle began coming from the little house shortly after they entered and Harry signaled the rest of his Aurors to follow him in.

There were several combatants and it was obvious that they had been waiting for the Aurors. Dark spells were flying haphazardly across the room and Harry saw several of his people go down within minutes. He couldn't tell if they were dead or not, but whatever was going on in this little farmhouse, these Dark wizards meant business.

On the far end of the room Harry spotted Goyle. He hadn't seen the man since he was released from Azkaban years ago, but he hadn't changed much. Still big and imposing. Harry wondered how someone as obviously stupid as Goyle could have orchestrated all the madness that they were currently dealing with. The mischievous nature of it fit, but Goyle couldn't have really gotten smarter in prison, could he?

Harry didn't take the time to fully consider it as he made his way further into the house, shooting off stunning spells and blocking incoming curses. On the other side of the room Ron was dueling with a dark haired man. From the corner of his eye, Harry saw the man fall and Ron turned to look for the next opponent. Ron didn't see the man behind him extending his wand arm, getting ready to make his move.

Harry simultaneously aimed his own hex and called to his best friend. "Ron! Get down!"

Just as Harry called, out an explosion went off nearby, throwing him several feet away. He coughed up the dust that had made its way into his lungs and attempted to sit up. He'd hit his arm badly on the fall, but everything else seemed to be intact. He slowly stood, looking around for the rest of his team. Ron was just getting up, as were a few others. The man attempting to curse Ron seemed to be knocked unconscious.

Harry turned back toward the source of the explosion, wand out, but he wasn't fast enough. Goyle was just making his escape through a trap door in the floor that Harry was certain hadn't been there earlier. Just before he disappeared, he turned back toward Harry and grinned. A moment later a blinding purple light was engulfing the room and hit Harry square in the chest.

He felt the force of it first, before the pain. It pushed him backwards, just as the explosion had. This time, in his mind, time slowed down. Like in a muggle movie. He saw his kids' faces and Ginny's and finally Draco. Thoughts of their brief, complicated relationship flitted through his consciousness. The pain began to radiate from his chest through the rest of his body, but he only wanted Draco. The last morning they spent in bed together came to the forefront of his mind. Words couldn't describe how perfect that morning was or how beautiful Draco had looked in the sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window. On that image his mind lingered, trying desperately to hold on to it even as he felt himself slipping away.

He never felt himself hit the floor again. He didn't feel anything after that.


	18. Waiting for Harry

**Sorry about the cliffhanger… ok, not actually that sorry. But I am sorry that I left you hanging for this long! If I said that this is a really long chapter, would that make up for it? A little? **

**Chapter Eighteen – Waiting for Harry**

Draco burst through the doors of St. Mungo's with impressive force. He marched straight to the front desk where a frazzled-looking witch busily took messages via owl and sent others out through the intra-hospital mail system.

"Where is he?" Draco demanded. "Where is Harry Potter?"

Before the poor witch could respond he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see Ginny Weasley-Potter's face. He'd never seen her so pale and scared before.

"Where is he?"

"Upstairs. In Spell Damage. They're assessing him now."

"What…" Draco's voice caught. "What spell?"

"I don't know. Ron didn't hear an incantation and it wasn't something he was familiar with."

"Well who the fuck cast it?"

"I don't know. He got away. They were on some job in the north. I don't know the details."

"How is he? He'll be okay, right?" 

"I don't know. We don't know anything."

Draco looked up past her head into the waiting room. Ron was pacing in front of his wife who was seated next to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. He wondered absently where Lily was. Did she know what happened to her father? Someone should be with her. He took it as a bad sign they were all still downstairs. If they knew anything they would have moved up to the Fifth Floor visitors' area to wait. So the healers hadn't even checked in with them. Harry could be dying right now and they wouldn't know.

"Did you see him?"

"No," she answered. "I'm sorry, I didn't. Ron brought him in, then sent for me and I sent for you."

"Where's Lily?"

The question caught Ginny off guard for a moment. "She's with Fleur. She's fine."

"The boys don't know? Shouldn't they be here?"

"I thought it best to wait until we knew what was going on. They can't go in to see him yet anyway."

"But what if—"

"Draco, no 'what ifs'. If they can't see him, then they may as well not be worrying about him while they should be in class. He will be fine and then they can come see him this evening."

"But—"

"No," she said firmly. "Pull it together. He's going to be fine."

She put her arms around him then, which he was not at all prepared for. Ron had stopped his pacing to stare at the strange sight. While the feeling was completely foreign to Draco, it was oddly comforting. He was panicking, as much as he hated to admit it, and Ginny actually understood the mixture of complex feelings he was experiencing. After a moment he returned the embrace.

"He's tough, you know," she murmured. "He'll be just fine."

"I didn't tell him…" he whispered, hating the edge of panic that that he could hear in his own voice. "I should have."

She pulled back from him and looked up into his eyes. "He knows."

Draco rubbed a hand over his face. "But I didn't. And then this morning…" He took a deep, shuddering breath, trying not to think of their fight, and stepped toward Ron. "Weasley, what happened?"

"It was a case we've been working on for a while. He had a tip that the suspects were hiding at an old abandoned farm so we went in. There were several of them and they apparently knew we were coming. He wasn't the only one injured."

"And you brought him here?"

"Carried him in myself."

Draco nodded, hoping to convey his thanks. He knew it didn't have anything to do with him; Weasley would gladly die for Harry. But he still felt more grateful that he could possibly ever express that someone had taken care of Harry.

"Come sit down with us," said Ginny.

"I can't. I'll go mad if I just sit. You sure you don't want the kids here? Harry will want to see them."

"There will be time for that later. Right now they have no idea that he's in any danger and I'd like to keep it that way."

Draco nodded.

"Are you all here for Harry Potter?" asked a wizard who had just exited the lift.

"Yes," said Draco. "Is he okay?"

The Weasleys all gathered around to hear. Ginny grabbed Draco's arm and squeezed. This healer looked rather young, Draco thought. Perhaps too young to be taking care of Harry. He was of average height and wore the ugliest glasses Draco thought he had ever seen. His face was flush and it looked as if the mere act of talking to his patient's family caused him to break out in a sweat.

"I'm Healer Pennyworth. We're treating him right now. The spell is a difficult one to pin down. We know that it attacks the nervous system, but we don't know much more. We're consulting with a Dark spells expert in Norway and he hopefully will tell us a more effective way to treat this. Right now we're just using a multipurpose treatment that involves a series of spells and potions to keep the damage from spreading."

"Is he going to be okay?" asked Mrs. Weasley, on the verge of tears.

"That's hard to answer. At this point his life doesn't seem to be in danger any longer, but we don't know how much neurological damage there is. We'll know more in a few hours, but we won't know everything until he wakes up."

"And when do you think that will be?"

"Late tonight at the earliest. A lot of it will depend on what the healer in Norway tells us. He's the best in his field. Right now, I think you all should head up to the visitor's lounge because you're going to be in for a long wait. I will come there with updates as soon as I have them."

He disappeared into the lift again, leaving the small group looking around at each other.

"I'll have to get back to work," Mr. Weasley said. "Ron, who is in charge of the Aurors?"

"Me. Next in chain of command is Matthews."

"I'll inform the Minister of Harry's condition and let him know that Matthews should take command for the afternoon. You'll be back in the morning?" Ron nodded. "Good. You'll all let me know if anything changes here."

Mrs. Weasley gave him a kiss and he left to apparate back to the Ministry.

"Well, we should be heading upstairs then," said Mrs. Weasley. "Merlin knows we've been familiar enough with the place over the years."

"Wait, Mum." Ginny turned to Ron and Hermione. "I wonder if you two might go get my children for me. No sense in risking the news spreading to the school before the boys are told. Just do me a favor and wait until classes are over for the day. Shouldn't be too long. I just don't want a scene."

Ron nodded before taking Hermione by the hand and leaving the building. Now just the three of them, they stepped onto the lift and headed up to the fifth floor. Draco tried to stand as far away from them as he could. Lifts could be awkward enough when they were filled with strangers. But when the people he was crammed into the box with were ones he actually had history with… that was another thing entirely.

"I didn't quite believe it when Ron told me," Mrs. Weasley said suddenly into the stuffy, tense atmosphere. She didn't look at anyone in particular, but was more focused on putting her handkerchief back in her purse. "You were such a miserable little child. Ron and Harry spent most of their time at school hating you."

Draco and Ginny both turned to stare at her. They had both thought at first she was talking about Harry's injury, no his relationship with Draco.

"I don't suppose it's very sensitive of me to discuss it here, but it's true. I didn't think you were good enough for Harry. I still don't. But you obviously care about him, so I'm sorry for that quick judgment."

"Er… thank you?" Draco said uncertainly.

They arrived on their floor, the little bell of the lift breaking the awkward silence that followed the brief conversation.

"Can I get you ladies tea or anything?" Draco asked, trying to be polite. These women were the people Harry considered family. It wouldn't do to be unsociable, especially given Mrs. Weasley's assessment of him. They both declined and the three of them fell into a pattern of sitting, standing and pacing over the next half hour. Hermione arrived then with Lily. She hadn't been fully filled in yet and Ginny did her best to explain without being too graphic. Draco had to admire the little girl's bravery. As scared as she looked she never cried. She sat quietly between her mum and grandmother, seeming to offer them comfort. Draco stayed on the other side of the room. As much as he and Ginny got a long, he still wasn't part of the family and this certainly was a family matter. He was on his third cup of tea when Lily wandered over to him.

"Mr. Malfoy, are you okay?"

"Fine. Just worried about your father."

She frowned. "Me too." She took the seat next to him and put her little hand on his. "I think he'll be okay. James says he's the most powerful wizard in the whole world."

Draco smiled. "Well, your brother is very smart."

"At Christmas you said you'd tell us more stories about dad at school, but you never did."

"Oh. Well, I suppose I did." Though he'd seen Lily a few times over the past few weeks, the subject had never come up again. "Did he ever tell you about the hippogriff in third year?"

"Buckbeak? That's Hagrid's pet hippogriff."

"I reckon that's probably the same one. Well Hagrid was our teacher back then and he decided to have a lesson on hippogriffs. Your father didn't act scared at all. He went right up to the animal and bowed. Now remember, these creatures can kill you with one blow. Your dad did it though and the animal trusted him and let him ride it around and everything. Really showed up the rest of us who were too stupid and impatient to earn a hippogriff's trust."

"Like you?"

"Let's just say, Buckbeak didn't like me much. I guess he knew that I didn't like him either. Not like your father who was so open and treated everyone – even the animals – with respect. That's just how he always was."

"Were you jealous he got to ride the hippogriff and you didn't?"

Draco looked down at her and smiled. "Yes, but if you tell him I said that, I'll deny everything."

An hour later Ron arrived with James and Al. There were a tense few moments after James saw Draco, but Ginny settled him down and he chose to sit across the room and glare daggers instead. Draco wondered if James ever had forgiven his father for being gay. Despite her brother's harsh words, Lily continued to sit next to Draco and eventually leaned on him for support as she tired. He caught Ginny's eye across the room and his stomach flipped uncomfortably at what he thought she must have been thinking. To his surprise she merely smiled.

It was nearly nine when the healer entered the room. Draco stood quickly, still careful not to jostle Lily too much. He laid her down gently across both seats and she remained blissfully unaware of what was happening. Across the room, both boys had fallen asleep out of boredom as well.

"Finally," Draco complained.

"I'm sorry for not updating you sooner, but there really hasn't been much to tell. Mr. Potter has sustained some very serious injuries and it's taken a while to stabilize him."

"Did you figure out what spell it was?" asked Ron.

"Unfortunately, the Norwegian specialist identified it as Neuromortem. It causes extensive nerve damage, I'm afraid. The treatment is an intense regimen of nerve regrowth potion."

Draco gasped at the description.

"You're familiar with it then?" asked the Healer, surprised. Draco nodded. This young healer obviously had no idea who he was. Anyone a few years older would have picked him out for a Malfoy and Death Eater by now. "Well, we are giving him this now, but we have to keep him asleep for it, so we still don't know how much damage there is. At the least he will have a long recovery and some physical therapy ahead of him. We'll know about neurological damage when he wakes."

"Can we get a time estimate?"

"We'll be treating through midnight. After that he'll be weaned off the stronger potions and could wake as early as… I'd say maybe three a.m. if we're lucky. More likely closer to morning. My advice to you all is to go home and get some sleep. Especially the children."

"Can't they see him first?" asked Ginny.

"I'm sorry; we can't risk anyone touching him until the treatment is finished."

"Come get us as soon as that is finished," said Draco. The healer nodded and left again.

"I don't understand," said Mrs. Weasley. "What does all that mean?"

"The spell kills nerve cells," said Hermione. She looked to Draco. "I've read about it before, but there's really been very little research done on it."

"Because no one uses it. It's a very Dark spell, used a lot in the Middle East a few centuries ago. It came back into fashion about thirty years ago, but still isn't used much because of the varying effects. With a Killing Curse, you know what will happen to your victim. This one depends on where the victim is hit, how soon he gets treatment.

"We can regrow nerves with potions, but it has different effects depending on what kinds of nerves they are. If they are in the hands or feet or certain parts of the brain, then when they re-grow the person may have to learn certain functions all over again, such as walking or writing. If the damage reached other parts of his brain before they stopped it, then you're dealing with something else entirely. The cells will all grow again, but, for lack of a better way of describing it, the memories stored in them will be gone forever. We're talking about areas of the brain that control personality, memory, emotion… things that are unique to one's life and experiences. It could be really bad. The good news is that basic functions like control of the heart and lungs must be intact or he would be dead already."

"Good news," Ginny murmured.

"It is. Without that he would have nothing. At least there's a chance."

She stared at him in disbelief. "And a chance that everything that makes Harry, Harry is gone? His memories? He wouldn't even know us!"

"Don't you think I've thought of this already?" Draco snapped.

Hermione put her hands on Ginny's shoulders. "There's no point in arguing hypotheticals. Ron got him here as quick as humanly possible, so he's got a good chance. Right now we need to decide what to do about the kids. They don't need to stay here all night. Ron and I can take them. Hugo will be glad to have company."

Ginny nodded and then told her mother to go home too, promising to floo call with any news. Once everyone had gone she sat down next to Draco.

"I wish you hadn't told me what the spell did."

"Sorry."

She shrugged.

"Won't Dean be wondering about you?"

"I owled him. He knows I wouldn't leave Harry like this."

"Isn't he jealous?"

She turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. "No. Harry is the father of my children. Where else would I be now?"

"It's nice that you all have stayed friends. It means a lot to him."

"Well, we were all family long before I married him, you know. My parents practically adopted him. I wonder if that's why he fell in love with me."

"You think he just needed to officially be part of the family?"

"Maybe."

Draco shook his head. "No. Maybe deep down that was part of it, but I don't think that's all. He loves you too much for that."

"What about you? Why didn't you ever tell him that you love him?"

"It's complicated."

"So?"

"I don't know if I can love. Not really, not the way you're supposed to."

"Bull shit. You love him that way, you just don't have the stones to say it. Why?"

"I… never have said it. Not that way. I said it to my son of course. I said it to Astoria, but I didn't really mean it."

"You've never said it to a lover and really meant it? That's… sad."

"What can I say? I'm just a little ball of misery."

"No. You're damaged, but who isn't?"

"Does he talk to you about me?"

"A little. It gets a little weird sometimes to talk to your ex about your new lover though."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I just wondered."

"I know he told you he loves you. He said Paris made him fall more in love than he already was, but I guess that's just Paris for you."

"Did he tell you that I'm seeing a shrink?"

"No. That seems a little too private to share, doesn't it?"

She was right; it was. But Draco couldn't help himself. It had to be said. "I almost killed myself on New Years. He rescued me. I wanted to be sure that I was really in love and it wasn't something brought on by him saving me."

"And?"

"And the way I feel right now… I can't _breathe_ thinking he might not remember me."

She smiled and patted his hand. "Congratulations, it's love."

"Yeah, well, it sucks."

She nodded. "It sure does."

Several hours later they had been let into Harry's room, but he was nowhere near waking. There was a faint blue glow around him that the healers explained would fade as the potions and enchantments began to wear off. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully. There were some half-healed bruises on his face, but everything seemed to be normal otherwise.

Ginny and Draco alternated between awkward silence and awkward conversation, though the conversation became less awkward with time. They had long run out of basic, general things to talk about and began delving into the weird and deeply personal.

"So, let me get this straight," Ginny began. "You just let Astoria tell you not to see your son?"

"Until recently, yes."

"I never thought of you as the pushover who lets other people dictate your life. At school you would have never let someone boss you around."

"Yes, well I guess I'm just a silly fag."

"Right. Just because you're gay you don't know how to stand up for yourself. I would think you of all people would be a little less eager to promote archaic stereotypes."

He shrugged.

"Is that what you think everyone thinks of you? Or Harry? That you're weak, or an easy target?"

"That's what some of them think. And the others hate us for other reasons."

"That's a pretty bleak view. Is that why you can't say you love him or let anyone know that you're together?"

"His reputation has been through enough without my name being connected to it."

Ginny actually laughed. "Harry doesn't care about that. You must know that."

"Well he should."

"Because you do? Draco, Harry has had to deal with his popularity for some time now. He doesn't stop what he's doing every time someone disagrees with him. Remember when Voldemort came back and everyone said Harry and Dumbledore were both mad? It bothered him, it was a terrible time, but he never once thought about fading into the background because people disagreed with him. He sticks to his principles and he sticks by the people he loves. Only the truly terrible things really get to him, such as what was said about Dumbledore when he was outed. I'd guess that if there is a story about the two of you, he would be much more concerned with how it affects you than him."

"He really does want to tell people. The children at least."

She nodded. "He told me he was thinking of it."

"Are you okay with that?"

"It's a normal part of a relationship. Being with someone means being involved in many aspect of his life. No one's asking you to adopt them, but you do need to have a relationship with your boyfriend's children. And did you see the way Lily reacted to you tonight? She's already accepted you as part of the family. I don't see any reason why I should object. She's a pretty good judge of character."

"She's very smart, Lily is."

"Yes. And I know you care a lot about her."

"I haven't really been around her that much. Just the couple times."

"It doesn't matter. You're so good with her. She gets along with Dean well, as do the boys, but you… fascinate her. She adores you in a way that I've never seen with anyone outside the family."

"James seems to be harder to win over."

Ginny smiled fondly. "James is stubborn, but overall a good kid. What about your son?"

"I don't think they all get on well at school."

"Maybe that will change. Harry knows how to get people to cooperate. Merlin knows he was doing it with Ron and Hermione long enough."

"Well maybe Harry can get my son to actually like me again."

"I'm sure Scorpius loves you. He just needs to remember it. It has nothing to do with Harry."

Harry's arm moved first and Draco watched to make sure it wasn't just a random twitch that had been tricking them all night into thinking he would wake. But then his head moved. His eyes were still closed tightly, as if in pain. Draco moved to his side quickly and Ginny did the same.

"Harry? Can you hear me?" Draco asked. He moaned a little. "Go get the healer. He'll need to be evaluated right away." Ginny did as she was told and Draco knelt down so that his face was near Harry's head. "It's okay. Take your time. I'm here."

Draco took Harry's hand in his and he squeezed back. Harry opened his mouth as if trying to talk, but nothing came out.

"Take your time. Your throat is probably too dry to try to speak right now."

Ginny returned with Healer Pennyworth.

"He was trying to talk."

"Mr. Potter, can you hear me?"

Harry tried to talk again. "Wha…"

"Mr. Potter, you were involved in an incident at work. You're at St. Mungo's. I need you to try to open your eyes."

His eyelids twitched, but it was several seconds before they really began to open. It was a slow process and as low as the lighting in his room was, he blinked at its brightness. Healer Pennyworth positioned himself in front of Harry's face so that it was the only thing he could see and something about that irrationally angered Draco.

"That's it, Mr. Potter. I'm Healer Pennyworth. Can you speak? It's okay if you can't right away. That's normal."

Harry seemed to be working at it more that he should have and Draco cast a worried glance in Ginny's direction. They were both thinking the same thing. Finally Harry forced words out in a raspy, unrecognizable voice.

"Wh-what happened?"

"You were hit with a very complex Dark spell. What do you remember?"

He frowned and swallowed thickly. "With Ron… s-somewhere… Ron…"

"Auror Weasley brought you here and he is fine. It's okay if you don't remember everything right away. That's normal too. We've just been waiting for you to wake up."

It was only then that Harry realized there were other people in the room, despite the fact that he was holding Draco's hand the whole time. He saw Ginny first, standing next to the healer, and smiled. Finally he noticed the person holding his hand.

"You're here."

Draco's breath caught for a moment. From Harry's tone he couldn't tell if perhaps his memory had been affected. It was neutral, with the possibility of meaning either "I'm glad you're here" or "what the hell are you doing here?"

"Where else would I be?" Draco answered hesitantly.

"I d-didn't think… y-you would risk it."

Draco instantly relaxed and he heard Ginny give a little squeal of excitement.

"I'm so glad you remember me."

Harry frowned and he squeezed Draco's hand. "Of course."

Ginny picked up the water pitcher nearby and poured a glass. "Here. You sound terrible." Draco helped him sit up while Ginny put the cup to his mouth. In true mother hen fashion, she fluffed his pillow and added another one under him so he could sit up.

"Is it just…" Harry trailed off with a frown as if he couldn't remember what he was going to say next. "… y-y-you…. Is it just you…t-two here?"

Draco frowned. "The whole Weasley clan was here earlier. It's three-thirty in the morning now though. Just Ginny and I are the only two insane enough to stay."

"Were th-the…"

"The what?" asked Ginny.

They watched him grasp for the word he needed with no luck. Finally he scowled and shook his head.

"Lily? James?"

"The children? Is that what you were trying to say?" He nodded. "They were here. They're worried about you, but went home with Ron and Hermione to sleep."

"It's r-really…"

He trailed off again, once more having trouble saying the word he wanted to use. Healer Pennyworth stepped forward.

"Can you think of another word that means the same thing as the word you're trying to say?"

Harry thought for a moment. "B-bad."

"It's really bad? Your condition? It was, though you're doing better. I'm going to test your memory in the morning. Right now I think you're experiencing Aphasia. Certain brain injuries can affect the way you process language and leads to problems speaking. It can present in a number of different ways and this is one."

"The nerve damage affected the speech center of the brain?" Draco clarified.

"It appears so. But if this is the extent of the damage we should consider that lucky."

"Lucky?" Ginny repeated. "Lucky that he can't speak right?"

"It's fixable," said Draco. "He just has to relearn it."

"W-what?"

Draco squeezed Harry's hand once more. "It's okay. The spell just caused some nerve damage, but we can fix it. It's going to be okay."

Harry nodded uncertainly.

"We also need to test other senses, which we will do at length in the morning. For now, a simple test will suffice. Does anything appear abnormal visually?"

Harry shook his head.

"Raise your right hand." Harry did so. "Left hand." Again Harry did as he was told. "Good." Healer Pennyworth pulled back the blankets. "Now wiggle your toes."

This time nothing happened. Draco looked to the healer.

"That's okay. Let's try this." Healer Pennyworth ran his wand along Harry's left leg. "Feel that?" Harry nodded and the process was repeated for the right let. "I don't want you to worry about this. You have feeling, so we're not looking at a total paralysis, which is more difficult to fix. Your brain is just having trouble communicating with your muscles in your feet and legs. We will run full tests in the morning to determine the recovery process, however, I believe by then you will already have some movement back."

Harry frowned at the healer and then at Draco.

"It's fine," said Draco. "You just need rest and potions."

"I agree," said Pennyworth. "Right now, I think you need to rest. You can catch up a bit with your visitors, but then I want you to sleep some more. In the morning we will do a full evaluation. In fact, I think you're well enough that your friends can go home to sleep."

Draco didn't miss the way Harry automatically tightened the grip on his hand. Once Healer Pennyworth was gone, Ginny began to fuss over him. She straightened his blankets and fluffed pillows and when she finally couldn't do anything else, she picked up her cloak and prepared to leave. "I'll bring the kids back later. You rest. I'm just so glad you're safe, Harry." She kissed him on the forehead and looked over at Draco. "I assume you'll be staying."

Draco smirked. "Just waiting for you to get out."

"Behave. He is not to be overly excited." She giggled. "And that thing that we were talking about? Now would be a good time. So you in the morning, boys."

Draco watched her leave with an amused expression. "How did you tolerate being married to her?"

"She gr-grows on y-you."

"I was so worried about you."

"I don't…"

"Remember?" Harry nodded. "It's okay. Some of it will come back to you. Ron can fill you in on the rest. Ginny owled me as soon as she found out. I've been here since."

"You didn't h-have to."

"Yes, I did. I couldn't have done anything else. When I found out you were injured I didn't think of anything else the rest of the day. And when they said there could be brain damage… I just couldn't…" Draco took a deep breath, willing himself to not cry. He'd made it all day without getting emotional. He could make it just a little longer.

"You n-need to…" With the words escaping him, Harry patted the bed. "With me."

"There's not enough room."

"Want you here." He slid over as best as he could to make room.

Draco couldn't turn Harry down when he stared at him with those big green eyes. He climbed onto the bed next to him and Harry turned onto his side so they faced each other. Draco ran his hand over the side of Harry's face.

"I love you."

Harry's eyes widened and he let out a soft gasp. "Y-y- just saying that b-because …almost…d-died."

"That's true. If you hadn't almost died I wouldn't have seen how stupid I was being. I love you, Harry James Potter. I was being stupid this morning. Of course we'll tell the children. Anything you want. It's not worth fighting over."

"Draco…"

"Don't talk about it now. We have to work on getting you better. The speech will get better over time I think. And then we can talk about anything."

Harry curled up closer with his head on Draco's chest. "I… l-love you."


	19. Still Know How to Love You

**Chapter Nineteen – Still Know how to Love You**

The day after Harry's injury was filled with tests. They had not discovered any other areas of damage and already Harry was beginning to get more control back in his legs, though his speech had not improved yet. Draco stayed through most of it, only leaving long enough in the afternoon to finally go home to change clothes and pick up some items for Harry. When he returned to the hospital he was met with an unpleasant surprise. Ginny had taken the kids back to school, leaving Ron and a new visitor with Harry. Draco knew that Ron and Harry had to discuss their case, but he hadn't been privy to any classified information on who Harry's informant had been or what had happened on the raid immediately after Harry had been nearly killed. So Draco stopped abruptly just inside Harry's door when, for the first time in quite a few years, he found himself face to face with Pansy Parkinson.

"Draco?" she asked, clearly shocked. She looked back at Harry who only shrugged.

"Well isn't this awkward," Ron commented. The words hung in the silence, making it even more awkward. Finally he cleared his throat. "I'm going to excuse myself to someplace with fewer Slytherins. I'll be out in the hall if you need me."

Pansy watched him leave. "So long, Weasel. Well, Draco, of all the people I expected to be nursing Potter back to health, I must say, you weren't on the list."

Draco looked to Harry. "_She_ was your informant?"

"No need to make this personal, Draco."

"No need? Your bad information nearly killed him."

"Aren't we protective?" She glanced suspiciously between them. "It's Potter's own fault. He should have known I couldn't inform forever without Greg figuring out what I was doing. Now I have his whole team breathing down my neck. Not to mention my husband's family."

"You did the right th-thing," said Harry. "They should b-be proud."

"Tell _them_ that. Your injury has put this whole case in the spotlight. Everyone wants to know how the Boy Who Lived was nearly killed. Which has put the family in the uncomfortable position of acknowledging that I have had ties to former Death Eaters. And all because of you, Potter. So you need to fix it. In the meantime, I am going to go back to the world of sanity, where Malfoys do not mingle with Potters. Or whatever is going on here. Have your people contact me about the extra security."

Harry nodded and she left, with just one final smirk in Draco's direction.

"I think w-w-… just outed ourselves t-to P-Pansy."

"Why did you trust her with something like this? For all you know she could have been in on it."

"She's not."

"You don't know her like I did. What if she's lying?"

"She's not this time."

"Right. And I supposed it wasn't really her who chose to sell you out to Voldemort too in front of the entire school. Pansy only cares about Pansy."

"Exactly. She has more to gain b-by h-helping. Are you going to make me… explain the whole th-thing, or are you going to k-kiss me while we're still… alone."

"Well, when you put it like that…" Draco sat on the bed and gave the requested kiss. "Don't think I've finished with this topic though."

He leaned in for a longer kiss. They were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice the door opening again.

"Oh fuck. Merlin's balls, you two can't keep that to yourselves?"

Harry scowled at Ron, but Draco was faster with the response.

"We were keeping it to ourselves just fine. Don't go opening doors if you don't know what's behind them."

"Did you make the a-ar… the plans?" Harry asked Ron.

"She's got two Aurors at their home officially. Unofficially there are two more that are to remain unseen. If Goyle's people make a move we'll get them."

"On Pansy? Why would he?"

Harry signaled to Ron to tell Draco, as his powers of speech weren't up to long explanations.

"He knows that she's been ratting him out. He must have suspected when he gave her the address. That's why they were ready for us; he was testing her. She's a target now. We weren't sure at first, but when we sent someone over to bring her in for questioning we caught two of them breaking into her home. The brains behind it have issued an execution order for her, but we got a lot of intel when we busted into their place. Give it another week and we'll have this cleared up."

"You sound very confident."

"I've been handling these cases for twenty years, Malfoy. I think I can make that call."

"Hey, stop t-talking now… before you start f-fighting again."

"Actually," said Draco. "I was thinking about something ever since you remembered it was Goyle that hit you with that spell. How would he even know it? It isn't something that the Death Eaters used."

"You know about it," said Ron.

"I only know a little, but I've researched the history of Dark magic since I was young. Greg… was never really the studious type. It makes me think that whoever he's working with now isn't from here. It makes me wonder where he went after his release from prison."

Ron nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks for that, Malfoy. I'll have someone look into it when I get back to the office, which I should do now anyway. Everyone was asking about you, by the way, Harry."

"Tell them I wish I was there."

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'd be there now if you could walk. But you're going to rest."

Ron snorted. "Harry. Rest. That's a good one, Malfoy."

Draco and Harry watched him leave and when the door shut Draco sat down on the bed with a sigh. It was their first real time alone all day. Harry reached out for Draco's hand and interlaced their fingers. Draco turned toward him with a sad half smile.

"What's wrong?" asked Harry.

"It's just sad how everything turned out. Greg, you know."

"He ch-chose his… p-path."

"I suppose Pansy turned out alright. She's still a bitch of course."

Harry nodded. "You turned out okay too."

"You think that's why he didn't try to contact me? I was feeling almost a little jealous that he tried to recruit Pansy and not me."

"He just knew you weren't in-interest-st-ed."

"Yeah. I'm not. It's just… I don't know."

Harry chuckled. "That ego."

"Okay, fine. Yes, it's silly. But is it so unreasonable to want to feel wanted?"

Harry put his hand on Draco's leg. "Y-you are w-w-want-ed."

Draco squeezed his hand. "I meant what I said last night, you know."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know. I l-love you too."

"I'm sorry for everything yesterday." He paused. Yesterday seemed so long ago now. "I think maybe you were right about me wanting to run away. I don't consciously, but the more involved we get the more chance there is of it all going horribly wrong. I do still think that we should tell the children. I don't think I'm ready for anything more than that, but I do want to tell Scorpius. But once everyone knows and your reputation is ruined forever you're not allowed to resent me for it."

Harry smiled. "I won't."

"Okay then. We'll tell them over Easter. I'm surprised it hasn't been in the paper yet, with me being here with you. I shouldn't hang around so much or people will start to talk."

"Let them talk."

"The way James was glaring at me last night and this morning I think he may have figured it out already."

"He g-gl-lares at everyone."

"Either way, it's not going to be easy dealing with him. And I don't know how Scorpius will react."

"We sh-should get them all t-t-t-..." Harry shook his head in frustration when he couldn't get the words out. "Play quid-d-ditch maybe."

"You can't walk and already you're planning quidditch games? That's the Potter arrogance I remember."

"I'll w-walk by then."

"Maybe."

"Easier to f-fly than w-walk."

"We're not discussing this. I don't even want to think of you hovering a hundred feet off the ground just yet."

He only smiled and let Draco worry over him for a little longer.

Harry was released from the hospital on Monday. The healers warned him not to return to work right away and Draco made it his mission to ensure that. Harry was still having problems with some words, but most of them came back after hearing them once or twice. Walking was a slow and steady process also and though he was warned not to overdo it he stubbornly wouldn't let Draco tell him to rest. Ginny made sure she was around to help as well and Lily insisted on doing her share. Normally she would stay with Fleur when Ginny had to work, but Harry decided that Lily would be helpful for his recovery.

Having a young girl in the house was something that Draco had never really dealt with, which made the first few days of Harry's home recovery just a little awkward. Draco had spent the night with Harry, but left in the morning to check his messages and get some fresh clothes. He returned with a full bag of groceries and went to work putting them away.

"I'm back," he called out from the door and quickly made his way into the kitchen. "I went to that muggle shop down the street. They were out of the juice you like, but I bought some other things for dinner. I'm starting to actually get sick of take away."

Draco was halfway through the bag when he realized that Harry still hadn't answered him. Curious if he had fallen back asleep or if something was wrong, Draco abandoned a box of pasta and moved toward the hallway. What met him there caused him to stop abruptly and let out a little gasp.

At just about five feet tall and eleven years old, Lily Potter was not an intimidating sight. Or shouldn't have been. He just hadn't been expecting her, Draco told himself. Yes, that was it. It wasn't the way her hazel eyes seemed to pierce him, the way she made him feel like she could read his mind.

"Dad said to come and tell you that I'm here."

"Oh. Yes, I see that. Why are you?"

"Mum dropped me off to spend the day. Why are you here, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Helping your father. He can't walk yet, so I don't suppose he can cook his own meals."

"You didn't knock at the door."

Draco paused. "I believed him to be alone and he can't walk to the door to let me in."

Her eyes narrowed slightly and she glanced past him to the things he had just been putting away. "Do you even know what he likes to eat?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I've eaten with him before."

"What did you buy?"

"Just a few things. For sandwiches, soup, that kind of thing." He gestured back toward the kitchen. "You can inspect the groceries if you'd like."

"That's okay."

Draco walked past her, both of them watching each other suspiciously. He'd gotten along so well with her before, but this was different. They were in Harry's home, a place that Draco had started to think of as home too, but her presence made him feel like a visitor again. He was suddenly restricted in how comfortable he could be there. To her, this wasn't his home; he was just helping her dad out. And yet he knew how smart and perceptive she was. She would see through him if he was not careful.

He found Harry sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to stand. When he saw Draco in the doorway he stopped.

"Fine."

Harry relaxed into his pillows again and Draco threw the blanket back over him. "A little bit at a time is what the healer said. Even if you stood up on your own you wouldn't have made it any further than the night stand. And Lily being here? I am not sure that is wise."

"She's helpful."

Draco scowled and left the room again, grumbling. As it turned out, Lily did prove helpful in several ways. Draco put her to work doing the cleaning that needed done, but when it came to preparing lunch, that was when their true bonding time began.

"Mum does it differently."

Draco frowned, adding the carrots to the stew that he was not preparing correctly in Lily's opinion. "Yes, well I'm not your mother."

He glanced over at the way she was cutting the onions. "No, they need to be diced, not chopped."

"What's the difference?"

"What's the…? Potters," he muttered, shaking his head. He reached over and began showing her the correct dicing technique. "The difference, my dear Miss Potter, is that chopping produces much larger portions than dicing. Which may not seem like a big deal to you, but it has great effect on how the stew is flavored and what the end texture is. You're going to be complete rubbish at potions if you can't tell the difference between chopping and dicing." Draco shook his head. "Just like your father."

"Like this?"

Draco's eyebrow rose as he inspected the onion. It was, he noticed, much better than before and he nodded reluctantly. She was a fast study. "Better. But you need practice."

She continued her work and inspected the stew every so often to make sure that it was up to her standards. Apparently she decided that it did not have to be her mother's recipe in order to be satisfactory. "Maybe you know how to make an okay stew, but I bet you don't know how to make strawberry cake."

Draco glanced back at her, intrigued. He absolutely loved anything with strawberries. His mouth was already watering. But it wouldn't do to show his eagerness.

"How good can it possibly be?"

To his surprise she merely smirked up at him. And in that moment he realized something. He liked Lily. She wasn't bothered by his criticism and she knew how to get to him too.

"Do you want to know the secret ingredient in the stew? I've never told anyone—not even your father."

She nodded. "Sure. And then maybe I can show you how to make the cake. It really is the best cake in the whole world."

Draco smiled and aside from helping Harry with some things now and then, they spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen.

Modifying his behavior around Lily proved to be even more difficult than Draco thought it would be. In addition to editing his more vulgar remarks, he was also careful to never refer to Harry in any way that might imply their unannounced relationship. Until then he hadn't realized how much of their daily lives consisted of touching or other little gestures that only couples did. He knew it wasn't the end of the world if she found out, but he was nervous enough about telling the children without going through it twice.

For Harry's part, he found it encouraging that Draco got on so well with Lily. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell the boys too. And it really made him happy to see the man he loved becoming even more a part of his family. Even though Lily's continued presence was stressing Draco out, Harry could see that a part of him was truly enjoying it.

Aside from the Lily situation, Harry could tell that his temporary disability wore on Draco in other ways. There were multiple daily visits from Ron while Harry attempted to run the entire Auror department from home. While they both were civil to each other for Harry's sake, it was glaringly obvious that they would rather be anywhere but in the same room together. Toward the end of the week Ron had news that his team had tracked Goyle's group to their new headquarters and they were going in.

"I want to go with you," Harry blurted out, starting to pull back the blankets.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Draco put the blankets back in place over Harry's lap. He had only just woken from an afternoon nap and Draco was a stickler for following the schedule that the healers decided on. "You can hardly walk. You're not running after the same Dark wizards who put you in the hospital in the first place."

"I won't fight. I'll stay back and w-watch."

"I hate to say it," said Ron, "but Malfoy's right. Besides, we've got enough people to do it. When you get back you can work on figuring out why they're doing this and who's behind it all. Let your team handle the heavy lifting on this one."

Harry frowned.

"Don't get pouty about it or I'll send my wife over here to deal with you." He sighed at Harry's determined expression. "Look, the whole department is out for blood on these bastards after what happened to you. Their need for revenge is leading to some very productive work on this case. Pretend you're the martyr for just a few more days. Then they'll welcome you back to work and everything will go back to normal."

"Fine. But don't think I'm happy about this."

"Of course not. I have to get back now. I'll let you know how it went."

Ron nodded a goodbye to Draco and went to see himself out. Harry looked up at Draco with a glare.

"Don't give me that," said Draco. "You're not going out. End of discussion." He looked back toward the door. "I'll be right back." Draco found Ron at the front door, pulling his cloak around himself.

"What do you want?"

"I want to go with you."

Ron's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"You're going to bring down the assholes that hurt Harry and I want to be there."

"You're as bad as he is."

"I mean it. These are people I know. Or used to know. I could be helpful. I know the Dark spells they use. I know how they think."

"We have Dark spells experts already."

"But it can't hurt to have another."

"You're not an Auror, Malfoy. And don't take this wrong, but you're never going to be one. We arrest Dark wizards, we don't work with them."

"But I'm not! I haven't practiced Dark magic since I was a kid. I just want to do what I can for Harry. I didn't think you, of all people, would object to that."

"I appreciated your thoughts on where Goyle learned that spell. It did help, but that's where your involvement ends."

"What did you find out?"

"He has connections to some Dark wizards operating out of Iran. These people have been controlling the muggle wars in that region for years. They specialize in the kind of terrorism that Goyle was trying to reproduce here. We need to stop it quickly before it escalates."

"You think he's trying to start a war?"

"I think it's a bid for power and revenge for the years that he and the others spent in prison. But I also think that whatever his motives are, he's being used by people far smarter than he is. The Dark wizards in that region like to meddle with muggle governments. I'd say they're using terrorism among wizards to spread terrorism among muggles. Whenever there's unrest among one world, it spreads to the other quickly. Our wars often parallel each other. They tried it here once before, but they didn't have British wizards helping so we were able to stop it before it got this far."

"See? All the more reason why you need my help."

"Look, I see what you're doing. You want to swoop in to the rescue because you care about him, but that's not how things work." Draco growled in frustration. "You think that if you save him or avenge him that will make you worthy of him. That it will make it okay that you're in love with him. But it won't. People who hate you will still hate you and he isn't going to love you any more or less. There's nothing to gain."

"Pfft. Figures you think I'd have a motive. How about just the satisfaction of knowing that I helped bring down the bastard that almost killed Harry?"

"And what will Harry be doing? He needs you to stay with him through this right now. So stop running away from him and be a partner."

"I'm not running away. I'm doing this _for_ him."

"No, you're doing it for yourself. If you were doing what was best for him you would stay and help him recover instead of putting yourself in harm's way. It hasn't been lost on me that you tend to shy away from commitment and any behavior that may symbolize it, but so what? Grow up and take care of him like a boyfriend should or you're going to end up regretting it." Ron fastened the clasp of his cloak and opened the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Draco stood in the same place for several minutes after Ron left, hating the fact that he was right. He walked back into Harry's room, still sulking.

"What were you d-doing?"

"Trying to convince Weasley to let me kill Goyle."

Harry snorted, but pulled Draco by the hand until he sat down on the edge of the bed. "As romantic as that is, I prefer you here where I can have you to myself."

"Yes. I'm staying."

"You don't sound happy about it."

"I feel rather helpless here. I can't _do_ anything to fix you."

"Everything you d-do helps fix me. B-being here makes me feel better. Besides, who is going to help me walk if you go? Lily isn't quite that strong."

"And Lily went back home hours ago anyway."

"That's right," said Harry. Then a grin slowly spread over his face. "That means we're all alone."

Draco smiled, but then stopped himself. "You're still recovering."

"Yes, I'm not moving very f-fast, but I'm not p-paralyzed. I haven't lost my… s-sex drive. And we haven't had sex in… Merlin, I'm not even sure how long."

"Thirteen days. Because you were working on that case. No sex at all for me in six days and…" he glanced at the clock next to Harry's bed. "…and twelve hours."

"That's like a lifetime for you."

Draco nodded. "Well… I did wank a couple times."

"When?" asked Harry, looking disappointed. "You m-masturbated, but didn't let me help out?"

"I didn't think you'd be up for it yet and you needed the rest."

"Draco, I suffered a t-terrible injury, but I'm not an invalid. I'm still the same Harry that was here last week. If I need rest I will tell you. Until then, take your tr-trousers off and get over here."

He grinned and moved forward. "I don't want to overexert you."

"The healers have s-said that I n-need to exercise"

Inches away from Harry's lips Draco murmured, "I don't think this is quite what they had in mind."

"Well then they should have been more sp-specif-fic."

Harry leaned forward to kiss him. It had been a while. In addition to going without sex, there hadn't been very many stolen kisses that week. With Lily being around so much and Harry sleeping for large portions of the day, displays of affection just hadn't really come into play much. And Harry hadn't realized how much he missed it. He pulled Draco in closer, deepening the kiss, tasting him. Draco climbed further onto the bed, straddling Harry's legs. Finally pulling back he looked Harry in the eye.

"Thank Merlin you can still kiss like that," Draco gasped.

"Like I said, I'm not an invalid just because I had a little injury."

"Little injury? For several hours we thought there was a good chance there would be permanent brain damage. There was a very good chance that you wouldn't remember how to kiss me. I thought you might not remember any of this at all." He put his hands on either side of Harry's face. "You can't blame me for wanting to be a little protective. You can't blame me for just being thankful that you know me."

"Yes, you're allowed to be thankful. Now will you let me show you more of the things I still remember how to do?"

"I think that could be arranged." And all talking stopped for a while.

The next day Ron came by with news that Goyle's team had been captured. Ron had been right about the Iranian influence. The discovery of the new motives of the wizarding terrorists prompted Shacklebolt to invite the Iranian wizarding president to discuss the situation. The president was a reasonable man, unlike his muggle counterpart, who was willing to bridge their cultural differences to work toward peace. The development prompted Draco to make a joke about Harry having to learn another language. Unfortunately, Harry decided to take him seriously and spent the rest of his time off listening to recordings to help him learn Farsi.

Harry returned to work the following Monday, just more than a week after the injury that could have killed him. He used a cane to walk and speech problems still came up at unexpected times, but the healers believed that it would go away gradually. In addition to a strict potions regimen, he was doing two hours of physical therapy each day to regain full control of his legs. At work he kept to paperwork, only walked to and from his office and worked greatly reduced hours. Those were the only terms by which Draco would let him leave each morning.

After making it through an entire week back at work, Harry was more than ready for another break. Not that he would have admitted it. Unfortunately for Harry, Al and James' arrival on the Hogwarts Express for Easter ensured that he wasn't going to get a real break for a while.

**Update: Double and triple thank yous to those reviewers who pointed out my error about the language of Iran. I had mistakenly said that Harry was going to learn Arabic. Of course Farsi is actually the official language of Iran and I missed that typo on my revisions. It has been corrected now. :)**


	20. Family

**Hope everyone has had a great Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Solstice/random day of the week/whatever other day(s) you choose to celebrate this month. :) Thanks, as always, for the reviews!**

**Chapter Twenty – Family**

By the time Easter came along, Harry was almost completely back to normal. With Draco's help, he'd stayed on his potions and therapy schedule that the healers had developed for him. The nerve potions were among the most fowl tastes Harry had ever experienced, but Draco reminded him frequently that a bad taste was a small price to pay for a treatment that would have him healthy again in a fraction of the time that it would take otherwise. If not for advanced magic, Harry would have never walked again. Muggles with similar injuries would spend months in physical therapy and never make the progress Harry had made in just two weeks.

The healer that St. Mungo's had initially consulted had been part of the team that worked out the best potions to have him on. The spell was so rarely used that there had never been a specific treatment created for it. Instead they treated each area of damage with different potions and that seemed to be working better than anything designed to treat the spell itself. Harry's case was being studied by healers and experts in several different fields and Draco predicted that it would lead to great progress in treating a variety of conditions that caused nerve damage.

"Well g-good," Harry had said sarcastically. "I'm glad I could alm-most die to f-further m-medical knowledge."

Though Draco had mostly stayed with Harry after the incident, they made a point of spending the entire night together before the Hogwarts Express was due for Easter. The Potter children were to stay with Harry and of course Scorpius would stay with Draco, so it really was their last chance to be together until the holiday was over. After sleeping in late they went to Kings Cross together to wait. Ginny was there already with Lily, who couldn't wait to see her brothers. To everyone's surprise she was almost as thrilled to see Draco again as she was to spend time with her family. She entertained him with stories of everything she had done that week until the train pulled in. She spoke to him as if it was completely natural to need to fill him in on her life. Ginny caught Harry's eye, asking him a silent question. He shrugged and shook his head. He knew that Lily and Draco had been getting along quite well, but this was new.

Harry and Draco said their goodbyes when the train came to a stop, knowing it would just make things worse if the kids saw them together already. The plan was to tell them over the weekend and then to get them all together during the week for Quidditch, but it would depend heavily on how their news was received.

Harry greeted several of the Weasley clan as they climbed down from the train and searched for their parents. He had seen Fleur there and Angelina was there with George, but he hadn't even see Ron or Hermione yet. The next face he recognized was Scorpius Malfoy. He didn't seem too pleased about being there and looked around the platform with a scowl that only deepened when he noticed his father.

Draco, for his part, was trying to project some confidence about this meeting with his son. It wasn't easy. He certainly didn't want to seem worried, but a blank, stern expression wouldn't do either. Lucius had done that to him for too long and he always felt as if his father didn't really want to be there with him. He had talked himself into being able to handle this until he caught a glimpse of Scorpius' face.

"It's good to see you, Scorpius."

"Yes, well I didn't have much choice, did I?"

"I'm sorry it is such an inconvenience for you."

"I told Mother that I wanted to stay at school for the break."

"And I was tired of being ignored by you and your mother. You are still my son, Scorpius."

"Yes. I remember. Can we go now?"

Draco had his guest room made up just for Scorpius, but nothing really impressed him. Scorpius looked through Draco's flat as if it was servant quarters. Several times he commented on how unbelievable it was that he was stuck there for the week. After dinner Draco decided that he had to stop trying to be agreeable and friendly and start acting like a Malfoy. He magically sent their dishes to the kitchen and turned to Scorpius.

"I know you hate me."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Fantastic."

"I am your father." That earned him a basilisk glare. "I am concerned that you have not heard the entire truth about me."

"What, there's more?"

"Perhaps. What have you heard about the war?"

"That you were a Death Eater. Don't lie about that, I've seen that Mark!"

"That is true. My father was one long before that, during the first war. Back then he believed many things that he abandoned later. He once told me that he had been caught up in big ideas and dreams of power. He was quite young, you see, when he started with Lord Voldemort. After he disappeared, Father looked for him, like any other loyal follower, but eventually he moved on and was a respected businessman with a lot of influence in the Ministry."

"You make excuses for him."

"No. There are no excuses for what we did. When I was just a little older than you, Voldemort returned and all those who followed him before were expected to serve again. Father did out of fear and some misplaced loyalty. In the course of things, he was arrested and sent to Azkaban and my aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange, escaped."

"Bellatrix? Why have I never heard of her?"

"Go read a book about the war and you will know more than you ever wanted to know about her. She was your grandmother's sister and none of us enjoy talking about her. She made me take the Mark and Voldemort gave me a special mission."

"They say you tried to kill Professor Dumbledore."

"That, unfortunately, is true. The part that they leave out is the fact that Voldemort threatened to kill my mother if I didn't do it. Father was in prison still, but Mother was at home when Voldemort began using Malfoy Manor as his own headquarters."

"But you were one of them. You and Grandfather hurt people. People hate you."

"Yes, yes and yes."

"Did you think I would never find out? I can read, you know. Once people at school started telling me things I went and found some old copies of the Daily Prophet in the library. I know what you did. Don't you even care?"

"Of course I care. More than you'll ever understand. But how do you tell your son that you were part of one of the worst things to ever happen to the world? I didn't want to think of it, much less admit it to you. I hated myself for what I did. And so did your grandfather. Unfortunately, he had a lot more to hate himself for. Too much to live with."

A sudden look of understanding passed over Scorpius' face. "That's why he killed himself?" Draco nodded. Scorpius had been told at the time that no one knew why Lucius did it. "And you lied because you didn't want me to know about you."

"I'm sorry."

"Mother said it was because of you," Scorpius said quietly. "Because he found out that you're gay."

"I admit that could have been part of it. My father was an intelligent man. He may not have known about me, but he surely suspected. My affair, the divorce likely didn't help his depression, but it was not the sole cause of it."

"What about you? What about what you did?"

"I… failed miserably at being a killer. I cast Dark spells only when I was forced to and I did what I could to ensure that Voldemort didn't kill my parents. I did some terrible things during those months and there is no excuse for it. But I'm not that boy anymore, Scorpius. Maybe I'm not perfect, but I like to think I've improved at least."

"And you're gay."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why not?"

"Father, I'm being serious."

"I know, I can tell. So am I. But you see that's the way I look at it. I never questioned why I was gay because it didn't seem like something I needed to analyze. I did feel that I needed to hide it, but that's over now. I'm attracted to men and I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore. I hope that will not affect our relationship because I really do want to be a better father. I want to know you."

The boy sighed. "Mother won't like it," he finally murmured.

"Let me deal with her. You should not be caught in the middle of your parents' disputes."

"What if I don't want you to know me?"

"Then I will keep trying."

Scorpius, who had been running his fingers along the edge of the table absently, looked up at his father. "Really? If I keep walking away you'll just… follow."

"Scorpius, you're my son. How could I not? I haven't been there recently I know, but that isn't how things are supposed to be. I would never walk away from you. Not really. Not forever."

Though Scorpius' eyes looked a bit teary, Draco said nothing. He couldn't; his own were watering up a bit in a way that made him hate himself. What was it that his father had said about crying? _A real man would never even consider showing his emotions in such a way. If they see emotion, they see your weakness._ Draco missed his father terribly, but he was becoming more and more aware that he did not want to be the kind of father that Lucius was. He needed a better relationship with Scorpius than that.

Scorpius seemed to react well to Draco's attempt at mending things. The next step would be to actually tell him who his father was seeing, a task that Draco was not looking forward to at all. Fortunately, halfway through a bowl of cereal on Sunday morning, Draco was spared having to think up a segue.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Scorpius asked suddenly.

Draco nearly choked on his tea at the unexpected question. Scorpius had only said a few words to him since their conversation the previous night and he certainly hadn't made any indication that he was interested in knowing Draco's life.

"Um… why?"

"Why not?" Scorpius echoed Draco's own words from the night before.

"Actually I was going to talk to you about this later. I am seeing someone and if you are comfortable with it, I'd like us to spend time with him and his family this week."

"Family? He has children?"

"Yes. And I'm sure you know them from school. That is why I was hesitant to discuss it just now."

Scorpius thought for a moment. "I don't have to be friends with them, do I?"

"It would be nice if you were, but no. I will settle for polite behavior only."

"So who is he?"

"Harry Potter."

Now it was Scorpius' turn to choke on his drink. Draco reached over and pounded on his back as he regained his composure. Finally, with one last cough, he looked back up at his father. "You're joking, right?"

Draco hesitated. What exactly did this sort of reaction mean? "No joke, I'm afraid. We have been friends for some time now, and then… I just fell in love with him. I don't expect you to understand that completely, but I thought you should know."

"I know the Potter boys."

Draco nodded. "Albus is in your year."

"Yes."

"Do you get on well with them?" Draco tried.

"He's nice enough. That brother is a wanker though."

"Don't say that."

"Well he is."

"Has he been rude to you?"

"Not him really. His friends are sometimes. He hasn't even spoken to me since before Christmas."

Draco nodded. He assumed that his presence at Christmas may have had something to do with the change in James' behavior, but he still wanted to make sure that there hadn't been any real animosity between the boys that could ruin relationships going forward.

"What about before Christmas? What was he like then?"

"It was still mostly his friends, but he never stopped them."

"From doing what?"

"Saying things. They said things about you and Grandfather."

"But James never did it himself?"

"No."

"Good. Harry and I really want you all to get along a bit at least."

"Why?"

"Because we'll be spending a lot of time together and we'd like to spend some of that time with our children."

"Are you going to stay together for a long time?"

"No one can know the answer to that at this point in a relationship."

"But you said you loved him."

"Yes."

"So will you… I don't know… live together? Or get married?"

"We can't get married. It's not done under our laws."

"But would you?"

"We haven't talked about that, so you don't have to worry about it quite yet."

"Muggles allow gays to get married."

Draco nodded. "Most countries do now, yes."

"That would be weird."

"I think most children think that it is weird when their parents remarry. Regardless of the gender of the new spouse."

"It would be weirder than that."

"Like I said, you needn't worry about that yet."

"Would he be my step-dad?"

Draco sighed when it seemed that Scorpius was not finished with this line of questioning. "That is generally how it works."

"Would I call him father, too?"

"You call him Mr. Potter until he directs you to do otherwise, although I'm sure he will rather you address him as Harry."

"Does he care that you have the Dark Mark?"

At that Draco paused. He didn't even know the answer to this really. They had never discussed it. There was so much history between them that it would take another lifetime to discuss everything that could possibly seem important to anyone else. They both knew what the Mark was and that Draco would have removed it long ago if he were able.

"I think he would prefer I'd never received the Mark, just as I would. But he knows why it is there and as much as he hates what it meant to Death Eaters, he knows that to me it is just another scar."

"How can he? We've learned about him at school a little now. He hated the Mark. Anyone with it after the war was put on trial."

"Most of them. Myself included. Harry and I have known each other since we were younger than you and we understand the way things were back then and how much we've changed now. We both have our own scars that we overlook. The Mark is just one of those. It's something I did, not who I am."

Scorpius nodded. Finally satisfied, he finished his breakfast.

On the other side of London, the Potter children were sitting down to breakfast, their very nervous father hovering nearby after he set down the plate of toast. James and Al were arguing over which of them was the better Seeker. Lily interjected with her own opinion now and then. All in all, it was a normal morning. But Harry was silently working up the nerve to have a very important talk.

"Dad, can we play Quidditch today so I can show James I'm really better than him?"

"He isn't supposed to play yet," said Lily. "The healer said so."

"I'm just fine. I went f-flying Friday." He was still using a cane to walk, but, as he kept pointing out to Draco, flying is easier than walking. It wasn't necessarily true, but that didn't stop him. "We can go this afternoon if you want." He took a deep breath. "I n-need to talk to you all first."

At the tone of his voice Lily immediately put down her food. Al and James still chomped happily away at their bacon, but Harry could tell he had their attention.

"I have some news. I know you all went through some tough times when the _Prophet_ wrote about me before. I'm trying to make sure you're not caught off guard like that again. I want to be honest with you about my life."

James immediately stood.

"I'm not finished."

"I don't want to hear anymore if it's got to do with that article."

Harry calmly met his son's eyes. He had prepared for this. "James Sirius Potter you will sit down and wait until I am finished. I may be many things that you're not p-proud of, but I am still your father and you will obey me."

Slowly James sank back onto his chair. After recomposing himself, Harry continued.

"It's important to me that I can be open with you. So I need to tell you that I am seeing someone."

Al glanced nervously at James, expecting another outburst. Lily giggled, but otherwise remained silent. It was Al who finally cleared his throat.

"Are we going to meet him?"

"Actually, you already have," Harry replied.

"I knew it!" said Lily excitedly. "I knew it! I knew it!"

"Oh, you do?" Harry asked.

"Daddy, I know it's Mr. Malfoy."

James stomped off into the bedroom without waiting for further explanation.

"Really?" Al asked, having completely ignored James.

"Yes. We started seeing each other after Christmas and I wanted you kids to know before others started finding out."

"Who would find out?"

"The paper, for one. You know how people like to gossip. But I don't want you to believe any of it until I tell you it's true. If there's something that you want to know then I want you to come to me."

"Does Scorpius know?"

"Draco was going to tell him this weekend, yes. In fact, we were hoping that all of us could get together for a game of Quidditch at some point. But we'll only do it if you are all okay with it."

Lily squealed in delight. "Yes, we have to. I've never met Scorpius. And Dad, we need to make that strawberry cake that Mr. Malfoy said he liked when you were still recovering. In fact, we should invite them over for lunch this week and spend the whole afternoon with them."

Harry smiled. Sometimes just being in the same room with Lily was exhausting. "Okay, s-slow down. Yes, we can have them over, if everyone is comfortable with it. What do you s-say, Al?"

He picked at the food on his plate thoughtfully. Harry could tell that he was truly considering it carefully. Finally he nodded. "But what about James?"

That was a good question. James was the only one that had never really come to terms with Harry's very public outing. Harry's letters to him had gone unanswered and he only warmed up a little when Harry saw him in the hospital, but he had been nothing other than merely polite since he came home. Harry knew the news about Draco wouldn't be well received, but he had hoped that it wouldn't be the end of their relationship.

Harry opened the door of the boys' room slowly. Lily was occupying Al with her stories of being around Draco the week that Harry was home from work and Harry needed to get this stuff with James sorted right away. The boy was laying face up on the bed, staring straight at the ceiling.

"May I come in?"

"I want to go stay with Mum." He still didn't look away from the ceiling, but Harry recognized the stubborn frown.

"No. I'm your father and this is my time with you."

"Which you've chosen to make all about Malfoy and your… gayness."

"I've not made it about anything, but spending time with you is not just about hanging out and playing Quidditch. It is about having an actual relationship and knowing things about each other. For instance, I know that your favorite color is blue. You h-hate the Weird Sisters, but like several muggle bands from the same time period. You always snore a little bit when you're particularly exhausted. And you're not really afraid of anything, except possibly for things that you do not understand. And that is why we're having this problem right now."

"No, we're having a problem because you're a fag!"

Harry stiffened, but stood his ground. "I will not have that word repeated here."

James sat up, glaring at him through furious eyes. "Then send me to Mum's!"

"You think she's going to be more lenient than me just because she's straight? I am still the parent here and I will not send you to your mother because you annoy me. I can however, give punishments while you're here. I let it slip once before because you'd had a stressful day, but consider this your final notice. If you say that word in my presence again, or if I hear of you saying it to someone else, you will be punished."

"Whatever."

"I didn't raise you to be so bigoted. Your mother and I raised you to have respect for all people."

"For muggles and werewolves, not gay people."

"Just because we didn't list off all the differences found in the human race doesn't mean that you were supposed to treat people badly when you feel like it. The way I look at it is if what someone is doing doesn't hurt others then we don't have the right to complain about it. I'm not hurting anyone. The rest of the family accepts it and you're the only one who is at all offended. So tell me, how is my life hurting you?"

"Do you have any idea what people say to me about you?"

"I am sorry for that. I really am. But that is other people hurting you, not me. That is other people's hate. I don't believe in hate. I believe in love. I love you and your brother and sister. And I love Draco. I have enough love for all of you."

After a few moments of silence Harry chose to leave James to sulk. It would do no good to fight with him over it now. As much as Harry wanted to make him see the truth, make him accept this, he knew there was little more he could do. Maybe James would see that he was the same father who had loved him his entire life. Maybe he would finally believe that this didn't change anything. James stayed in his room most of the day. When Harry took them to Ron and Hermione's for Quidditch James played, but still didn't talk to Harry. Ron offered to talk to him.

"He just needs someone to be on his side," Ron said after the game was over and the kids were playing in the yard. "He'll listen to his uncle."

"I don't think it's quite that simple," Hermione said with a frown.

Ron scoffed and wandered off to find James. Five minutes later he came back, considerably grumpier than he had left, grumbling about stubborn kids. Hermione put her hands on her hips, "I told you so," implied.

James was still boycotting everything Harry wanted to do by Thursday. Family meals were even considered cooperation with the enemy. By the time Draco and Scorpius arrived at lunch James still hadn't come out of his room more than once for the day. Al and Lily's acceptance was viewed as a form of treason and he ignored their attempts to speak to him.

Al greeted Scorpius and Draco nervously. The two boys said an awkward hello, but Lily greeted Scorpius enthusiastically, without bias. She was the icebreaker of the group, the only one who didn't feel at all tense under the circumstances.

"Mr. Malfoy, Dad and I made that strawberry cake that you liked. We baked it just this morning, so it's fresh."

"I'm certainly looking forward to it. Strawberry was always one of Scorpius' favorites as well."

"It still is," he said awkwardly.

"That's good," said Harry. "There won't be any extras left for me to get fat on."

Draco snickered. "Why don't you all head on into the kitchen." He held Harry back a moment as the children filed past and leaned in close, speaking quietly. "If you get fat I'll have to dump you," he teased.

"You won't." Harry was confident. "You love me too much."

"Merlin, I missed you." Draco closed those last few inches to place a quick kiss on Harry's lips.

"Gross."

They both looked up to see James standing in the hall just outside his room. Apparently he had attempted to come out, only to see the one thing he didn't want to see. Harry cleared his throat.

"James, will you please come here and greet our guests?"

"No thanks. I think I'll just go back in my room and figure out how I can ever show my face in public again." He turned on his heel and a moment later the door slammed shut.

"You weren't exaggerating on how badly he took the news."

"No, unfortunately. Were we ever that dramatic at that age?"

"Fourth year? You were much more dramatic," said Draco. "Always prancing around waiting for the _Prophet_ to write about you. The year of Rita Skeeter and the Granger-Chang-Potter love triangle. Those were good times."

"The year of the ferret," Harry countered.

Draco scowled. "Let's go eat."


	21. The Kids are All Right

**As always, thank you for all the reviews! ****And thank you for your patience with me during these long breaks between updates. **:) 

**Chapter Twenty-One – The Kids are All Right**

James snuck out of his room long enough to grab food and sneak back in, but he didn't actually join the others until it was time to leave for Quidditch. He may have been angry with his family, but he was still a Potter and Potters don't pass up Quidditch. They were using the pitch on their own property, technically it belonged just to Ginny now, but she would never have stopped Harry from using it. In fact, in the year since he had moved out she encouraged him to fly out there, but he always felt guilty when he did.

"I get to play beater," James announced when they arrived and he headed straight to the shed for the gear.

"No beaters today," Harry said. "There aren't enough of us. We'll do teams of three. A chaser, keeper and seeker each. James, you want to be seeker?"

Now it was Al's turn to object. "But I'm always seeker."

Harry slowed down a bit, letting James get further ahead. He was leaning on his cane a lot less, but it provided a handy reason for falling behind. When James was far enough away, Harry leaned in closer to Al. "Given James' mood today, do you really want him in a position to interact with other players?" Al shook his head. "Let's just keep the peace this afternoon, eh?"

Scorpius volunteered to be the second seeker and picked Lily and Draco for his team. Though James was none too happy to be playing with his father, he also saw it as his best chance of winning. Lily, on the other hand, seemed entirely too pleased to be playing alongside the Malfoys. Harry caught her looking at Scorpius now and then and what he noticed was disturbing. She had only just turned eleven years old, surely still too young for boys, but it appeared that his little girl was smitten. It made him feel old. How could his baby be suddenly interested in boys?

Perhaps it was this knowledge that distracted him from the match. Or at least he could use that excuse. Maybe he could say he just wasn't fully recovered yet. He needed a good excuse for that disaster of a game. Lily and Draco actually made a good team and Draco was still a very good flyer. Harry and Al usually played well together, but Harry had to admit he was distracted. James' behavior made him nervous because he was all too familiar with what the boy could do when he was angry. Twenty minutes into the game Lily and Draco had already scored twice. It should have been a sign right then of what Harry was up against. He and Al held their own and tried not to embarrass themselves too much, but Lily and Draco were the better team.

James was enjoying himself playing seeker, but it wasn't his usual position. He really did do better as a beater. While Harry knew that Scorpius didn't play on his house team, he could tell that he must play seeker often enough to really know what he was doing. He had a good eye for the snitch. Twice he led James on a chase for the snitch, only to change directions midair and give himself an advantage. James seemed to be a faster flyer and that was the only thing that stopped Scorpius from ending the game early on. Eventually though, Scorpius found a way to manage it. He had been following the snitch visually for some time, careful to see that James still hadn't spotted it. He had a way of flying around casually, keeping track of the snitch, but without giving it away to James. Knowing that James would out-fly him without trouble, he didn't go into a full dive for the snitch until he knew he was close enough and far enough from James. The game ended after an hour with Scorpius' team the clear winners.

Harry caught up to them celebrating on the far end of the pitch and had to summon his cane in order to stay up. He wouldn't have admitted it, but the flying had taken a lot out of him. Al came to congratulate them as well, with James lingering behind, still sulking. Lily was praising Scorpius on his technique with the snitch when Harry caught Draco's eye. He could tell they were thinking the same thing; she was not holding back the flirting at all.

"Good match," Harry told Draco. "Scorpius, that was amazing. I hate to say it because you know how I feel about Gryffindor, but I really think you should try out for the Slytherin team next year."

"You think so?"

"Is the Flint girl still your seeker?" He nodded. "She's a seventh year, if I remember right. That means they'll be looking for a new seeker next year. You really should go for it."

Al approached and shook Scorpius' hand. "We'll see if you can beat _me_ next year," he said with a smirk.

"I'll think about it."

"You should listen to Harry," Draco advised. "He was nearly undefeated as seeker in school."

"Nearly undefeated? Third year doesn't count. There were dementors. I nearly died."

"Excuses, excuses. I assume you have some for today."

"Er… I don't usually play chaser?" Draco laughed. "Hey, I'm still recovering too! I can hardly walk!"

"A fine excuse. Convenient that you started using that one only after you lost so badly. What happened to 'flying is easier than walking'? Just admit it. Your daughter out scored you." He glanced to Lily who looked up at them with a smug smile.

"Admit it, Dad."

"Fine. You're better than me. I bow down to your almighty Quidditch powers." Harry noticed movement out of the corner of eye and looked up to see Ginny walking toward them with a huge smile.

"I saw the match from inside and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time."

Lily ran toward her mother, dragging Scorpius by the arm. "Mum, this is Scorpius."

"Yes, I figured as much." She smiled at the boy. "You look just like your father. Except even more handsome."

Scorpius blushed from the attention and worked his way back over toward his father. Ginny invited them up to the house for tea and the children, minus James, grabbed snacks and went back out on their brooms while the adults chatted on the back porch. James had gone inside, still sour about the game and everything else that he saw as wrong with his life.

"He'll come around," Ginny said, sipping her tea.

"I wish everyone would stop saying that. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. No one can know what's going to happen."

Draco reached over and squeezed Harry's hand. There wasn't much else to say, but Draco knew it would be comforting to Harry.

"I suppose I should just consider myself lucky Lily and Al haven't disowned me too."

"And they're getting along so well with Scorpius," said Ginny.

"Maybe too well." Harry eyed the way Lily was flying so close to the boy.

Draco laughed. "I don't think Scorpius really knows how to handle her. He's so quiet usually. I'm not really sure if he's been interested in girls yet."

"He better not be," Harry murmured. That earned him amused looks from both Ginny and Draco. "You know what she reminds me of a little? When I was about twelve I visited my best friend's home for the first time and there was this silly ginger haired little girl who couldn't stay in the same room with me without blushing…"

Draco only laughed while Ginny slapped Harry hard on the arm.

"Ow! Jeez, and she turned into a horribly abusive ogre and beat me."

"I'll show you abusive Harry Potter." Another blow landed on his shoulder.

"Oy, aren't you going to help me here?"

Draco shook his head. "I've learned not to interfere in family business."

"I was not that bad," Ginny pouted.

"You were. You couldn't even talk to me for two years."

"Fine. But enough about me. I want to know your plans."

"Plans for what?"

"Your plans with Draco, silly. Now that the kids all know, and they're obviously getting along- except for James- you're free to be a couple in public now. How are you going to make your big debut? Because you know I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Draco and Harry looked at each other. They hadn't really given it any thought. Neither of them really wanted the attention of a big public outing, but Ginny was right. Now that the kids knew, there was nothing to stop them. Suddenly something occurred to Harry. The big twenty-first anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts was just weeks away. Harry always received a special invitation, followed by Kingsley's insistence that he show up, at least for a little while. Harry almost always declined. He hated the attention from the people who still insisted on thanking him for killing Voldemort—even after all those years. However, Draco on his arm would drastically reduce the number of people who would be willing to approach him. And it would announce their relationship to the wizarding world. Two birds, one stone.

"You want to be my date to the Hogwarts Victory Day Ball?"

Draco stared at him. "That ball is hosted by the Ministry."

"Yes… and I'm a Ministry employee, so I'm automatically invited."

"But it won't just be public. It's the _most_ public event of the year. It's… Harry, all your friends, family and coworkers will be there."

"Good. They'll all find out at once then. It will save having to repeat the announcement."

Draco looked at Ginny desperately. "Talk some sense into him."

"Not my job anymore. And besides, I agree with him. It's perfect."

"Come on. Be my date." Harry batted his eyes at Draco flirtatiously and grinned. Draco laughed at that, but shook his head. "This is going to play out one of two ways. Either I go with my super hot boyfriend who is not ashamed to be seen in public with me, or I go alone and the _Daily Prophet_ ends up writing up some insane story about Harry Potter, the eligible gay bachelor. Imagine the fan mail I'll be getting."

"Fine. I'll go." Seeing Harry's grin widen, Draco immediately hated himself for giving in so easily. "You sneaky bastard." He leaned in for a kiss. "But I guess I'm stuck with you now."

Ginny clapped her hands together happily and stood up. "Well that settles it. You two are so cute I want to vomit. I'm going to go play some Quidditch with my kids. You two behave."

Harry and Draco watched her go, but then Harry turned to him worriedly. "Are you sure you want to go? I really don't want to pressure you. I want you there with me, but not if it makes you uncomfortable. And after all, who really needs a big debut? Maybe we should just walk down Diagon Alley together one afternoon and let people figure it out on their own."

"I can go to the silly ball. If you are intent on destroying your reputation, I may as well be there to witness it. And really it will do the same amount of damage whether we do it in Diagon Alley or in some big, over the top event. And you know me, I like over the top."

"Good."

Behind them the door opened and James stepped out, staring at his father.

"I can leave…" Draco started.

"No, Malfoy, stay." There was no hatred in James' words, he was just blank.

Harry stood, with difficulty, to face his son. "What is it, James?"

"You're really going public?"

"Yes."

"And it doesn't matter what I say?"

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry if you disagree, but I have to do what's right. It isn't fair to Draco and I to hide and never have a normal relationship. And if I hid and lied about who I am, that wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be a good example for you and Al and Lily."

"Right. So it's all about being a good role model."

"No. It's about being happy. Draco makes me happy."

"And it doesn't matter what makes me happy?"

"Of course it does. I just don't think that my staying in the closet will make you happy. You'd rather have a father who hates himself and hides who he is? Would that make you truly happy? Or would it just protect your ego to not have anyone know your dad is gay?"

James looked at Draco then back at Harry. "Whatever. I'm staying with Mum the rest of the week. She can take me back to Kings Cross Sunday." He started to head down the steps.

"James."

He turned around and shook his head. "Don't. Just… I can't do it right now."

Harry nodded. "It's up to your mother whether you stay here or not."

"Then I'll go stay with Teddy. I don't care. I just don't want to see you right now."

"You're not going to avoid me all summer too. Take the rest of the school year to cool down. Then we talk."

James nodded and went out to the yard to talk to Ginny. Draco stood immediately to help Harry back into his chair.

"You're overdoing today. An hour of Quidditch and now all this? You should be in bed."

"The children are only home for a week. I'm not going to sleep through it," Harry said. The self hatred was plain in his voice.

"You handled that well with James."

"Then why do I feel like shit?"

Draco stood back with his hands on his hips. "Because you want to throw a little pity party. Well I'm not attending. Whether or not James starts behaving as he should or not, you will make it through this. Don't dwell on it or you'll ruin the time you have with Al and Lily."

James did stay with Ginny the next few nights and she promised Harry she would talk to him. Harry, Draco and the kids all went back to Harry's flat again for dinner and chess, much like it had been on Christmas. Their afternoon of Quidditch had made Al and Scorpius much more comfortable with each other, though not entirely friendly and Lily was still glued to Scorpius' side. It was like they really were a family. It was just another evening at home with the kids and it felt right, even if James was missing. Harry believed that eventually James would come back, but in the meantime he tried to find joy in what he had and this evening with Draco and the kids made him happier than he had been in a long time.

Finally the time came for Draco and Scorpius to leave for the night. And it was rough saying goodbye, knowing that they wouldn't have any real time alone until the kids went back to school. Harry waged a silent war in his mind. He had to say goodnight… but it couldn't hurt to have them stay over… yes, it could and it would be beyond awkward… but he just didn't want to sleep alone again. He'd gotten far too comfortable with Draco staying over nearly every night. But he had to let go eventually.

"So I'll owl you tomorrow. And you'll come over at the end of the week, right?" Harry asked. The kids were finishing up their own conversation just a few feet away, near the door.

"You couldn't keep me away if you tried." Draco ran his hand along the buttons on the front of Harry's shirt and hooked a finger between them. "But I don't see you trying anyway."

He tugged on the shirt, pulling Harry closer to him for a kiss. The children momentarily forgotten, Harry ran his hand through Draco's hair and just enjoyed the electricity of touching Draco again. Their lips met and it was like a drug; Harry needed more. With one hand on Draco's waist and the other on the back of his neck, Harry deepened the kiss. After a moment there was the sound of someone clearing her throat and Harry jumped back, remembering their audience. Lily was smirking while Scorpius and Al seemed somewhat shocked.

"Ew," said Al. "You could have at least given us warning."

Lily hit him on the arm. "I think it's romantic."

"Because you're a girl." That earned him another hit.

Draco took that as his cue to leave and he and Scorpius said goodnight. Once outside they walked in silence for several moments. Scorpius preferred walking to floo or apparition, and since it was a nice night Draco figured they needed the quiet time. Finally Scorpius broke the silence.

"I've never seen you kiss Mother like that."

Draco looked down at him with a frown. How to explain this to a twelve year old boy?

"I didn't love your mother the way I love Harry. It makes a difference."

"So you didn't… You never really loved her, did you?"

"I cared for her, but no. I wasn't in love with her."

"So you only had me out of… obligation?"

"Scorpius, I understand what you're trying to ask, but I don't think that's the answer you want." The boy stopped and looked up at his father defiantly, daring him to speak the truth. "If you truly want my answer I will say yes. You wouldn't exist if I hadn't felt obligated to have an heir. In fact, I would have never married your mother if I hadn't. There were a lot of bad decisions that went into making it to that point in my life. But I will say this, out of all those stupid things that I've done, the only good thing that came of it was you. I had you for the wrong reasons, out of obligation and shame and so many other things I don't even know them all. I regret my reasons, but I don't regret having you."

"How can you say that? You were miserable with Mother and you were only there because of me."

"No, I was there for many reasons. You… Once you were born, that made me want to be happy there. Until then, I didn't care who I hurt with my affairs. I didn't care if I hurt your mother because I was stupid and selfish. And then I met my son and I wanted things to work. For the first time, I really wanted to be a good husband because I wanted to be a good father."

"But you hated it. You hated living with us. Even I could see that."

"No. I hated it because I was doing it wrong. I thought that to be a good father I had to love your mother and when I couldn't do that, she said you were best off with her and I believed her. Everything I've ever touched has been destroyed, except business. I can do business, but when it comes to my personal life… I just figured you were better off with anyone but me. I didn't realize that walking away from her didn't have to mean walking away from you and that was stupid of me. And even more than that, doing what was best for me could have been what was best for you. You could have had a father who was there for you and who was happy, instead of constantly looking for an escape.

"Scorpius, you have to understand, in my family we hid everything. Thoughts, feelings, beliefs. We had to be careful in everything we did or said. We didn't say the word love. I couldn't say that I was gay. I didn't know how to be anything other than what my father had taught me to be. I loved him, but he was a difficult man when I was growing up. I think I tried at first to raise you the same way, but I'm not my father, so it didn't work. I knew I wasn't happy with things as they were, but I didn't know how to change them and be a good father at the same time. Obligation or not, I love you and all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I just thought I had to leave for that to happen."

Scorpius was silent for several minutes, his eyes filling with tears. "Okay," he said finally. But behind that little word was an entire world of meaning and unsaid emotion. It was thank you and I love you and forgive me all in two syllables. Draco couldn't help the feeling of relief washing over him. There was so much built up tension and fear and pain that he didn't even know he was carrying with him, but it was just falling off of him now. He didn't even think about it first but pulled his son into a hug. How long had it been since they had a proper hug? Too many years. When he finally pulled back his eyes were moist and Scorpius was gracious enough to not say anything. Simultaneously they started walking again toward Draco's flat.

The next few days passed quietly. Nothing more was said about Harry or Draco's failures as a father. They went to see a movie, since Scorpius had never seen one before, did some shopping and Scorpius spent an afternoon with his mother. Sunday came too quickly and Draco didn't want to take Scorpius back to the train station.

"Maybe when you visit in the summer I'll have your room decorated better," Draco said as they prepared to leave for King's Cross. Scorpius looked up at his father with worried eyes and Draco quickly made an interpretation. "Or not. You don't have to stay over all that much if you'd rather be with your mother."

"No! I mean… I think I really would rather stay here. With you. For the whole summer."

"Really?"

"If it's okay."

"I… yes. Of course. Anything you want."

Scorpius nodded. "Well, I guess it's early to plan for that, right?"

"Yes. Just let me know."

Draco couldn't help grinning all the way to the train.

Harry was having a rather different morning experience. Already disappointed at having to say goodbye to Al and send Lily back to Ginny, he was even more depressed to find Ginny standing alone on the train platform when they arrived.

"Sorry. James insisted on boarding right away."

"He didn't even say bye to me," complained Lily.

"He told me to tell you bye, if that helps," her mother answered.

"No, it does not. He tried to ruin the whole week. I thought Scorpius was quite pleasant, personally. Al, tell James he's being a little baby and I'm angry with him."

"He just needs some time," said Harry. "It's no excuse to be rude to your brother."

"There's Scorpius," said Al.

Harry smiled over at Draco and noticed a glow about him that he'd never seen before. Draco appeared to be completely happy.

"Dad, do you think Scorpius will be friends at school, or are we just holiday friends?"

"I don't know. Those things are complicated. Just be nice and if he wants to be your friend he will."

"Right. Well, I better go." He turned to Lily to say goodbye, but noticed that she was smiling across the platform at Scorpius. "Never mind. Bye Dad. Mum."

"I'll write you next week," said Ginny, waving to him as he ran to board the train. "Well, Lily, are you ready to go home?"

"Mm-hmm." She was still visually following Scorpius as he stepped onto the train.

Ginny looked over at Harry, who shrugged. "Don't ask me, she gets it from you."

As the train pulled away from the platform Draco made his way over to Harry, still smiling. Harry stared at him quizzically. He'd seen Draco smile, but usually it was a sly grin, indicating he was up to something. Other times it was an amused smirk that let Harry know that someone had just done something that was funny, but Draco wouldn't just laugh outright. Then there was the satisfied smile of a man who had just orgasmed, or who was laying in bed with his lover. This smile was something entirely different. It was completely open; there was no worry or concealed emotion under the surface. Draco was so good at hiding his emotions that Harry didn't really appreciate how much work must go into it. This was Draco with all the layers peeled away.

"What's going on?" asked Harry.

Draco only grinned wider and greeted Ginny and Lily.

"And how are the Potter ladies doing this morning?"

"Great."

"Fine, Mr. Malfoy. And how are you?"

"Very good today, Lily."

"Would you like to play Quidditch with me again sometime? I think if we practice this spring we can beat my dad and brothers by even more next time."

"Maybe I will soon. You keep practicing on your own and we'll have a rematch when the boys are home for the summer. Same teams."

After she and Ginny left, Harry and Draco made their way out of Platform Nine and Three Quarters and through King's Cross. When they were a little way from the magical entrance Draco reached down and held Harry's hand.

"Someone will see us."

"Perhaps." But he made no move to prevent that from happening.

"You're happy." Harry squeezed his hand.

"Yes. I think I am. Now let's go home so I can enjoy it for a little bit longer."


	22. Don't Give Up on Me

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. And without further ado… **

**Chapter Twenty-Two – Don't Give Up on Me**

The week of Hogwarts Victory Day, Harry could see the tension creep back and Draco started getting downright crabby with him. He hardly ever went home anymore, opting to stay with Harry as much as possible, but their time together became strained when his attitude soured. They both knew the happiness wouldn't last entirely after Scorpius returned to school. Draco's shrink had tried to pre-empt the emotional crash by reminding him that he had taken another major step in the direction of mental health and healing, but he may as well have been talking to a rabid hippogriff for what good it did.

Harry was trying to be understanding. Draco had been through a lot and was only just trying to put it behind them when their relationship turned sexual. And for Draco, any kind of commitment was a huge step, but Harry had been asking him to make leaps instead. Perhaps it was too much far too soon, which made Harry second guess his decision to drag them out of the closet. Draco insisted he was fine with it, but it was obvious he was stressing out.

The night before the ball Harry made him go out for drinks to loosen him up. After several hours at Gemini, they headed over to The Stag for drinks and were greeted warmly by Cameron. Exhausted from dancing all night, Harry settled in at the bar with his drink while Draco disappeared to his other friends. A moment later, Harry was disturbed by a presence right in front of him. He looked up to see Cameron standing with his hands on his hips.

"What?"

"Playing house with Malfoy?"

"Maybe."

"You're smarter than this, Harry."

"He's not nearly as evil as you want to believe. He's doing a lot better."

"Yes…" Cameron trailed off, looking past Harry. "Is that why he's over there hitting on Ben?"

Harry looked and sure enough Draco was laying on the charm thick. He was always naturally flirtatious when they went out, but there was a distinct difference between Draco who was having fun and Draco who was trying to get laid. Harry frowned, but quickly switched to an expression that he hoped was neutral, trying to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach.

"So what? He's free to sleep with whoever he wants. It's not like I own him."

It was true. They never changed their arrangement, but Harry had gotten used to Draco staying with him. Since his injury Draco hadn't gone out and, to Harry's knowledge hadn't had sex with anyone other than him. But nothing had actually changed.

"Don't fuck with me," said Cameron. "I know that look. He's a slut and you're looking for true love. I give it another month before you end up killing each other."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

That wasn't entirely true. Harry hated the little bit of jealousy that was bubbling up inside him. He shouldn't be this jealous. He really had no claim on Draco. He loved Draco and Draco loved him, but that didn't mean that they were exclusive. Their relationship had been designed that way intentionally.

"You know, I wonder," Cameron began quietly. "I wonder what would happen if you made a move on someone."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Draco doesn't have a problem looking at all his options, but what would he do if he saw you checking out_ your_ options?"

Harry snorted, thinking of Paris. "Probably ask for a threesome."

"It's a possibility," Cameron admitted. "But I'd guess there's a good probability that he would react a little differently. Either way, you either have a hot night with a couple hot guys, or you get him to wake up and see that he's not the only person who's noticed you. You could have anyone in here and it's time that he remembered that."

Cameron had a point of course. At least with Paris, they had picked up that man together. There hadn't been any awkward situation of one of them having to watch the other pick up another man, so he didn't really know how Draco would react.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Well first, you need to lean in closer." Harry did as he was told. "Now you need to smile more. He can't see most of your face from this angle, but if he looks over here he'll be able to tell if you're just talking about the weather."

Harry smiled. "I've never faked flirting before. How am I doing?"

"Fabulous." Cameron leaned onto the bar, grinning. "Oh, I think he's looking over here." To add to their flirtatious appearance, he ran a hand along Harry's arm. "Oh he definitely saw now." Cameron was careful to not look directly at Draco, but he could still see movement from the corner of his eye.

"He's not coming, is he?" Harry was suddenly very worried that Draco's temper might be a bit much for Cameron, who was only trying to help.

"Actually, he is." A moment later Draco appeared at Harry's side. "Hey Malfoy."

"What's going on?"

"Cam was just telling me about the drink of the night."

"We'll stick with the whiskey, thanks."

From the tone in his voice, Harry could tell he wasn't happy. Cameron shrugged and began to move away, but before he did he winked at Harry. To Draco it would be seen as more flirting, not the coded signal to a private conversation.

"Drink of the night my arse. He was trying to get you into bed."

"You think so?" Harry asked, trying to sound as interested as he could.

"Since when are you into Cam?"

"Didn't you always say he was the only one in this place that you hadn't been with? Maybe I should see if I can get the one person you couldn't."

Draco pursed his lips. "Cam doesn't date patrons here. He never has."

"Well obviously he's changed his policy."

Draco moved in closer to him and slipped his arms around Harry's waist. Harry's eyes closed as Draco nuzzled his neck. He would have to remember to thank Cameron.

"Let's go home," Draco whispered.

"But I thought you had something going with Ben over there."

Draco pulled back suddenly and Harry squirmed under the mind reading. He was trying desperately to keep his face blank, but his words had given Draco the clue he needed. Draco's eyes narrowed slightly, the sign that he had found what he was looking for. He knew now that Harry had no intention of sleeping with Cameron. He had to know that the two of them staged the whole thing.

"Bastard," Draco muttered.

"What?"

Draco stared into his eyes for several more seconds. Finally he shook his head. "Let's go home."

"Um, sure."

Harry finished his drink and set it down on the bar along with some money to pay for it. While he was doing that Draco moved even closer and whispered in his ear.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard…"

And he did. First on the floor of Harry's flat, just inside the door, too impatient to make it to the next room. Then in the shower when he decided they needed to clean up from round one. And finally, in Harry's bed. Harry wasn't complaining of course, but he knew it was Draco's way of avoid the conversation that they both knew needed to happen.

"Draco, I think we need to talk."

"Now? Can I recover a bit first?"

"I want to talk about our relationship. And what this is."

"Well we're going public tomorrow, so apparently it's something rather important."

"Do you really want to go public, or are you doing it because that's what I want?"

"I think you're being ridiculous wanting to do this, but I don't care either way."

"But what am I to you? How would you introduce me to someone? Boyfriend? Partner? Guy that you fuck?"

"Do you need another title, Auror Potter, Boy Who Lived, Chosen One?"

"Draco…"

"I want you. I love you. Isn't that enough?"

"If I hadn't distracted you tonight, you would have gone home with someone else."

"Babe, that was just some flirting."

"Don't lie to me. I know you well enough to know when you're trying. I honestly don't feel jealous about you fucking other men because I know it's just sex and we have something more, but I don't want you to do it right in front of me."

"It didn't bother you in Paris."

"Paris was Paris. We went there to do something different and we did it together. Watching you hit on another guy… it didn't feel right."

"You want monogamy."

"No. I just want to feel like you're really with me when we're out together. We were doing well when it was just the two of us when I was recovering, but I think the closer we get to the ball, the more trapped you feel. I think you want to fuck other guys just to prove I don't control you."

"So?"

"So, I think that we need to discuss that. This doesn't change anything about our relationship, just makes more people know about it. You agreed to it and if you're having second thoughts about that then tell me. We can talk about it and I certainly don't _need_ to do this public stuff. But at the least, I need to know what I am to you. Just saying we love each other isn't enough."

Draco pursed his lips, eyebrows pulling together in a frown. Finally he threw back the sheets in frustration. "Fuck this. I thought we had something good going as it was."

"And I thought that what we had was evolving."

"Don't ruin this with labels and rules."

"I love you, Draco. I want to be with you for a long time, but I can't feel that way when we go out. I can't feel like you're going to dump me for the next hottest piece of ass."

Draco stood up and started pulling out some of the extra clothes that he kept at Harry's place. "So we're going through this so you can introduce me as your partner? Or wait, let me guess, you'd prefer the term 'lover'? Or maybe I can just be Harry Potter's little housewife."

"What the hell? No! Are you even listening? I don't want to change us."

"Well that's the way it feels."

"You already practically live here, so I know you're not having issues with me personally. I know we love each other and I'm not trying to force you into something that I know you may never be ready for. That's not what I want. So this freak out has to be something about tomorrow night."

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Where are you going?"

"Home. My home. It's nice and quiet and I can hear myself think there."

"Draco, come back to bed."

He grabbed his wand from the nightstand and headed to the door. "No, thanks."

Harry sighed and rubbed his forehead. "How pissed off at me are you?"

"Very."

"Are you still coming to the ball?"

He stopped and turned around with a look of regret.

"I don't know. I guess you'll know if I show up."

Harry ran a hand through his messy hair before collapsing back into his pillows. Fighting again. Everything ran on Draco's timetable and if that included when they could define their relationship, then so be it. Harry wasn't really sure when he had developed such patience for people. It must have come from the years of his job and raising children, because he certainly wouldn't have stood for it before. He laughed to himself as he thought of a younger version of himself, maybe twenty years ago. How different things would have been if he and Draco had been attracted to each other back then. They fought a lot now, true, but back then? Someone surely would have ended up in the hospital wing. They were both hot tempered and intolerant and Harry wondered briefly if their attraction had always been there and they'd just been too stubborn to see it.

He didn't hear from Draco that morning. Every time an owl came in at work he jumped to see who it was from, but had been repeatedly disappointed. By evening Harry still wasn't sure if Draco would show up. He mentally prepared himself to go alone, but there was still a twinge of sadness at the thought of not having Draco by his side.

A year after their separation Ginny was still helping Harry pick out his clothes. She insisted he buy new dress robes for the occasion and helped him pick them out. She was attending with Dean, but they had agreed to all meet there at the same time. This year it was being held at the Minister's home, a mansion that each Minister had lived in since the 1800's. Kingsley had often held the ball in the past, but it was not a requirement of the event. Harry had been to Kingsley's home many times for Ministry functions. He and Ginny had been asked to receive foreign diplomats with him from time to time and their families had visited frequently. It had been a while since Harry had been there though. Out of courtesy, Harry informed Kingsley several days beforehand who he was planning to bring as his date, since it was sure to attract attention. Kingsley had only shown a moment of surprise, but then chuckled.

"You don't do anything halfway, do you?"

"Excuse me?"

"The papers have only just stopped talking about you. You're not even taking a break before throwing yourself to the lions again?"

Harry laughed nervously. "I guess I just like the abuse."

Suddenly Kingsley turned serious. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and leaned forward against his desk. "I've known you for a long time, Harry."

"Since I was fifteen."

"I never said I was sorry for how I reacted after that article."

"You were concerned about how it would affect the Ministry. I never held anything against you."

"Still, as a friend, I should have asked how you were doing. I should have given you my support instead of acting like it was an inconvenience."

"But it was."

"Never mind if it was or not. Are you happy?"

"Yes, I think I am."

"Then bring whoever you want to the party and I will welcome him as a friend."

Harry smiled as he put is dress robes on, thinking that despite the commotion coming out had caused, nothing had really changed all that much. His friends were still his friends and he was still himself. The world hadn't come to an end. Yet more proof that they could recover from this, even if Draco was still unsure.

The plan was to meet Ginny and Dean just down the street from Kingsley's home. It was designed that way so that Harry and Draco wouldn't make their big debut alone. There was safety in numbers. But the plan seemed to be moot now as Draco still hadn't shown up. Harry waited around his flat for several minutes—just in case—finding little things to do to keep busy. But eventually, he had to go.

Harry apparated to the designated meeting spot, as planned. Ginny and Dean were there already of course, but to Harry's surprise, so were Ron and Hermione. That detail had not been discussed, not that Harry had any objections. There was, after all, safety in numbers. He was just about to comment on the change in plans when a voice from behind him spoke.

"You're late."

**Several hours earlier….**

Draco hadn't slept much at all after he arrived home, but around dawn he had finally drifted off and stayed that way most of the morning. He had been dreaming quite peacefully when he was awoken by a presence directly over his bed. A startled gasp escaped his lips as he stared up at the shadow above him.

"Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"The thought occurred to me," Ginny Weasley Potter answered.

"What the fuck are you doing here and how the fuck did you get in?"

"I was married to Harry Potter for fourteen years and you think I can't work my way around a deadbolt lock and one very weak security charm? Really, Malfoy."

"Okay, but that still doesn't tell me _why_ you're here."

"To get you ready for the ball."

"Thanks, but aren't you a little young to be my fairy godmother?"

"Harry told me what happened and I'm here to tell you that you're being a complete arse. And if you hurt him I will rearrange your face for you."

"I'm terrified."

Actually, he kind of was. To avoid that fact though he stood up, not bothering to cover himself though he slept nude, and headed toward his bathroom. Just as he was walking past her he caught a brief wide-eyed stare directed toward his crotch. He chuckled.

"See something you like?"

"Don't flatter yourself. You're penis doesn't impress me; I'm with Dean." Draco briefly wondered exactly how big Dean was to make Ginny so smug, but abandoned the thought quickly. Ginny continued. "But at least now I see what interests Harry."

He rolled his eyes and continued walking. "The mystery is solved."

"Oh he claims that there's more to his attraction than just your big dick, but right now I can't imagine what that would be."

"Me either."

"Don't walk away from him. If you can't continue the conversation then say so, but don't run out like an idiot. You love him, but you're fucking it all up for nothing. It's stupid and juvenile."

"Thank you for that assessment."

She followed him right up to the bathroom door, but when he went to the toilet to pee she turned to face back into the bedroom out of courtesy. It still didn't stop her from giving him a piece of her mind though.

"Back and forth. _I love you_, _I'm scared to be with you_. Then it's _I love you _again. Can you see where this might be causing a problem?" Finished with taking care of business, Draco pushed his way past her, glaring. "Harry is patient. Far more patient than I would be. But it won't last forever."

"So Harry went crying to you first thing this morning?"

"Harry cries to no one. He is also unable to pick out his own clothes for any formal events. When I went over there to help, he mentioned it."

Draco sat down on the bed heavily. He still made no move to get dressed or even wrap a blanket around his waist. "What else did he say?"

"That you make him crazy."

"Well, maybe this wasn't meant to work out."

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, I'm going to say this once. So you'd better listen." She waited to make sure that she had his attention. "You make him crazy. He makes you crazy. That's the way it's supposed to be. You're scared to commit and honestly that's understandable. But sometimes fear is good. It means we have something to lose. And if you never face that fear you will never have the things that make life worth living. You'll always be the lonely, depressed person you have been trying so hard not to be. And if you lose him you will regret it for the rest of your life."

"You speak from experience?" he sneered, irrationally hoping that the words hurt her.

"I don't regret anything with Harry. I got three kids out of the deal. Not to mention years of happy memories and some really great sex. When I lost him… by that point he wasn't mine to lose anymore. Somewhere along the way we lost each other. So no regrets from me. But you're different. I can't guarantee you that it will work out. Maybe you'll break up next week or next month. But if that happens, then let it be because he just isn't right for you. Not because you were too scared to give it a real shot."

"I don't want him to resent me when people start talking about us. You know what they will say about me. I can't go through that, can't put Scorpius through that, for something that…"

"That what? That may not last?" She sat down next to him. "Nothing lasts forever. Whether you're together for a month or a century, there will be an end. It is the beginnings, middles and ends that make up a life. Some parts are easier than others, but it's all survivable. And that is what Harry is there for. You lean on him when times get difficult. That is what a relationship is."

Draco sat on the edge of the bed, letting that soak in. It really hadn't occurred to him in several minutes that he was actually completely naked sitting just inches from Harry's ex-wife, which might seem awkward to some people. "I fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Not yet. There's still time to fix it."

He ran his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes. "So what do you suggest I do, oh wise one?"

"I say get dressed up, look gorgeous and go to the ball. Then grovel, because Merlin knows you've put him through enough today. And stop running away every time he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Harry is a romantic. He needs to say it and hear you say it. Running away… it's getting old."

He nodded reluctantly.

"And Draco?" she asked softly. Her hand rested on his shoulder gently. He turned his head toward her, curious at the change in her tone. "For Merlin's sake, cover your penis when I'm in the room."

**Back at the Hogwarts Victory Day Ball….**

"You're late."

Harry spun around so fast his robes whipped around his feet. His heart was suddenly in his throat. He hadn't dared hope that Draco would show up; he had been preparing himself for disappointment. Now that Draco had shown up, how was he supposed to react? Be grateful? Be angry? He was irritated with Draco for running out on him that morning, for not considering his feelings when they had conversations. So how was Harry supposed to feel now that he had gotten his way? He didn't know what else to say, so he settled for stating the obvious.

"You came."


	23. Call Us Whatever You Want

**Chapter Twenty-Three – Call Us Whatever You Want**

"You came."

Draco stood there smirking, projecting confidence, but underneath there was a nervousness that Harry found endearing. He already knew he wasn't going to stay angry with Draco. He knew that all Draco had to do was speak and Harry would forgive the whole thing. That didn't mean he was going to make it easy for Draco though.

Ginny spoke up. "Found him wandering like a lost puppy, figured you might want him."

"I don't know," Harry said, still looking directly at his lover. "He's the one that ran away."

The group was silent for several awkward seconds. Harry and Draco were both keenly aware that there were four sets of eyes trained on them and neither one was willing to have this conversation in front of others. Ginny was the only one with the courtesy to leave them be.

"Well, we'll meet you inside," she said, with pointed looks at her companions. They reluctantly followed. Ron actually had to be pulled away and they all walked slowly, hoping to see a bit of the interaction. Draco waited until they were out of earshot.

"I'm sorry."

Harry crossed his arms. "And?"

He took a deep breath. "And… I love you. And I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"Fucking things up. I know I've been doing this a lot. There was the 'I love you' and then telling the children and you keep wanting to take it a step further and it is… fucking terrifying. What if we go in there and cause an uproar and you decide that you can't handle it after all?"

"That won't happen."

"How do you know?"

Harry ran a hand through his untamable hair. "What am I going to do? After tonight the damage is done. I can't take it back. I don't _want_ to take it back."

Draco thought about it for a moment and glanced toward Kingsley's house nervously. He looked back at Harry.

"I can't promise I'll never sleep with anyone else."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Then… we're not monogamous… But you were right; when we're out together, we're together. If either of us wants to exercise our right to non-monogamy then we'll go out alone."

Harry nodded. That was all he really wanted anyway.

"And you're not allowed to fuck Cameron—neither am I. He's off limits." Harry laughed at that. "And you can call us whatever you want to: partners, boyfriends, even lovers if you must."

"I need to know that you're really with me. That you're not going to run off next time you get scared. If we're in this together then you have to tell me when you're scared. We have to talk."

It occurred to Harry as he was speaking that Draco probably had never experienced that kind of relationship. He'd had more lovers than he could count, but none of those were a partnership. His marriage certainly wasn't. Harry wasn't used to being the experienced one in their relationship, but that was one thing he'd had: a loving partner.

Draco took his hand. "I'm here, Harry. I'm in this."

"No more running away?"

"No more. But I can't make promises about being scared to death."

"Well I'm scared too."

"_You_ are?"

Harry nodded. "You think I don't get scared? I'm scared of a lot of things."

"You hide it well."

"I know that I have to face it. If I'm going to be with you, I do want to hide it. I don't want to pretend like you're some dirty little secret. You're not. You may be thinking of the bad things that people will say, and I'm sure you're right about some of that. But I don't care about that. I'm proud to be here with you because I know all the amazing things about you that they can't see."

Draco smiled a little at that. He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Harry, leaning in for a kiss. It was amazing, Harry thought, that one kiss could push away all of his nerves. He'd been jumping out of his skin all day, worrying about Draco and taking their relationship public and it was all gone now. Draco ended the kiss, but rested his forehead against Harry's.

"Can we go get our public humiliation over with now?"

Harry turned and held out his arm for Draco to take and grinned. "Let's go, lover."

They walked arm in arm up the path to Kingsley's house and along the way Harry came across some Ministry workers that he knew. Auror Matthews paused in walking along side his wife to openly stare at them. Harry said a quick "good evening" and kept walking and Matthews only continued to gawk. Harry was grinning as he walked briskly with Draco.

"You're enjoying this," Draco accused.

"I hate that guy. Anytime I can shut him up, I'm happy." He turned to Draco. "Have I told you yet that you look fucking amazing this evening?"

"No, but I already knew that."

Harry leaned in for a quick kiss. Nearby they heard a gasp and turned in time to see one of the senior members of the Wizengamot. Hilda Higgendorf. She was more than ninety years old and a traditionalist in following wizarding law. It wasn't that she was prejudiced really, but she was much more hesitant to embrace muggle culture than some of her younger counterparts. It had put her at odds sometimes with Minister Shacklebolt. It was only at that point that Harry worried that this might cause some problems for him professionally. She could be a powerful ally politically, but Harry had always hoped he never made it onto her bad side.

"Great Merlin's ghost! Auror Potter, is that you?"

"Yes, ma'am," he answered, swallowing his nerves.

She wasn't a very tall woman, but her personality was overpowering.

"This is that boy you've been seeing?" She held her glasses up to her eyes and squinted through them. "Merlin's beard. Is that the Malfoy boy?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is Draco Malfoy."

"I knew your father."

Draco was immediately on guard. All the social training he had received in his life came flooding back to him. "Madam Higgendorf, he spoke of you often when I was young, always with high esteem."

"Such a shame what happened." Draco glanced to Harry, unsure if she was referring to his father's post-war social status or his death. She continued. "I was told that you have taken over Lucius' business dealings."

"Yes."

"Very good. Someone should. Pity no one ever knew what he was really up to. May have gone a long way in healing his damaged reputation."

"Ma'am?"

"Don't play coy with me. Lucius was a viscious snake, but he had a redeeming quality or two. He could manipulate anyone he wanted with his charm, but when it came to his more honorable characteristics he left them secret. Though, in retrospect one could say that the secrecy was a sign he had truly changed. The Lucius I knew would have used every seemingly good deed to his advantage." She sighed. "Have your people send over the information and I shall see what I can do about putting some Ministry funding behind that spell research. I should think you would want your name attached to it, especially with the prospect of bringing your potions enterprise into London."

"I am sorry, Madam Higgendorf, but how do you even know about that?"

"My boy, when you become my age we don't waste time on ignorance. Send the papers over next week." She began to walk past them, but stopped and leaned in close to Harry. "Nice choice. Reasonably intelligent and even better looking than his father was." She looked wistfully at some point past Harry. "Ah, Lucius. If only I had been twenty years younger." She shook her head and continued on her way into Kingsley's.

Harry stood there next to Draco for some time just staring after her. That was not what he'd been expecting at all.

"If only everyone reacted like that," Draco commented.

"That was just weird."

A few moments later they had reached Kingsley's door, which was magically opened for them. Harry led Draco through the front room and into the dance hall. Couples were already dancing. Others were lingering around the edges of the room with drinks. Hermione and Ron were speaking with Kingsley and his wife, while Ginny and Dean danced nearby.

They were getting more stares now that they were in the well lit house. People were whispering and a few even stopped what they were doing to openly stare. The shift in the atmosphere of the room drew Ginny's attention and when she saw what was going on she also stopped dancing. A few people nearby watched her closely for her reaction. She nudged Dean and they both walked toward Harry and Draco. All four of them were aware of the eyes on them. No doubt people were hoping for some kind of major confrontation. They were disappointed when Ginny smiled and greeted Harry with a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm glad you two made it in."

Dean shook Draco's hand and then Harry's. He looked around at their audience. "Is it always like this?"

"Yeah, has been for a while anyway."

Dean shook his head. "Were they expecting a fight?"

"I think they wanted Gin to scratch my eyes out or something and hex Draco into next year."

Ginny grinned. "Well, they will just have to settle for a well behaved lady. Now, if you don't mind, since everyone has seen that I have no desire to scratch or hex, I'm going to go dance with my date."

Harry watched them go.

"She's amazing, you know?" Draco commented. "She understands what her opinion means to the public in this situation and instead of being angry and using it to bury your reputation forever she's going out of her way to help you. Not many ex-wives would do that."

"Ginny was never spiteful or overly emotional about our divorce. I know I hurt her, but she didn't let that emotion dictate how she saw things. How she saw me. She's quite logical actually." He studied Draco for a moment. "You really like her, don't you?"

Draco didn't bother denying it. "I respect her. There's a difference. She's strong and commanding, but gentle at the same time. I'm not sure I know how she does it."

"It's genetic. It's not something you can learn. Lily is a lot like that. And Molly Weasley. They all have it." Noticing movement to his right, Harry turned then. "Oh, there's Kingsley."

Draco immediately tensed.

"Relax," Harry murmured. "Kingsley."

Draco watched as Kingsley and Harry shook hands, smiling.

"Glad you made it."

"And this is Draco Malfoy."

Kingsley reached his hand forward to shake Draco's. "Of course. Good to see you Mr. Malfoy."

"And you, Minister Shacklebolt. The celebration looks wonderful."

"You'll have to thank my assistant, Roma, for that. She was in charge of it this year. Last year was a bit of a disaster, but Roma hasn't let me down yet and I have to say she outdid herself this time."

"I will have to make a point of congratulating her then. The decorations are impeccable."

Harry smiled at Draco's natural ability to flourish in any social setting. As nervous as Harry knew he was, he seemed completely at ease.

"Well, I had best see to my other guests. Harry, the Iranian ambassador will be arriving shortly. I was wondering if you might stop into the drawing room with us a little later. I don't want to talk too much business tonight, but he was interested in meeting with you. The head of his Auror department will be here as well."

"Whatever you need."

"Thanks. You both enjoy the evening."

As Kingsley walked away, Draco stared after him.

"That's it?"

"What?"

"I just shook hands with the Minister. After twenty years of trying to make the Malfoy name respectable again all I had to do was date you and I'd be back in?"

"Convenient, isn't it?"

"I wish I'd thought of it ages ago."

Harry laughed. "I don't think it quite works like that.

"Well, now that we're here, shall we dance, or get drinks?"

"I'm not dancing. If you want to do that we'll go to Gemini later."

"Well mate, I didn't think I'd ever see you back here again." Harry looked toward the voice to see Ron coming toward them with a big smile.

"What's it been? Ten years?"

"At least that," said Hermione. "I remember leaving Rose and Hugo with you when they were quite young so that we could come. Every year you come up with some elaborate excuse. Last year you were avoiding questions about the divorce."

"Last year I found him drinking alone in a bar, feeling sorry for himself," said Draco.

Harry looked over at him with a scowl. "That's right. This is sort of the anniversary of when you came back into my life, isn't it?"

"And you've had nothing but trouble ever since. If you'd just gone to the ball you could have avoided this whole mess."

"Well, Draco," began Hermione, "you have my support if only because you've gotten Harry to go out in public again. I had been wondering whether he would be a hermit for the rest of his life."

"Don't get used to it. I'm only here to make my obligated appearance and then I'll be leaving."

She shook her head. "Well, as long as I'm here, I'm going to at least enjoy myself. Ron? Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

"I promise I will later," Ron said with a look that clearly indicated he would not be dancing at all if he could help it.

"Oh never mind. I've given up on asking you. You boys feel free to be wallflowers for the entire evening. Never mind your dates."

"Granger," Draco smiled. "I was wondering if it would be alright if I asked you to dance?" He gestured at Ron. "I know you would rather dance with your husband, but I would be happy to fill in for the time being."

Caught off guard momentarily, Hermione quickly regained composure and accepted Draco's invitation. Draco caught Harry's eye and winked before turning his attention on his dancing partner. Hermione was regarding him suspiciously, but allowed him to place a hand on her waist to lead them in the dance.

"Why did you ask me?"

"I like to dance."

"Why else?"

"Weasley accepts what Harry tells him, for the most part. You are the type who needs to know the answers, figure me out. So this is your chance."

"You love him."

"Yes."

She nodded. "I see it when you look at him, though I can't say that I actually trust you."

"I would not expect you to. Trust is something that comes with time and I have many years of untrustworthy behavior to make up for."

"But Harry trusts you. You were many things when we were children, but stupid wasn't one of them. Therefore, I can only conclude that you have good intentions. Only and idiot would try to hurt him when you must know how many highly trained wizards would make you suffer for such an action."

"I fear I have already come far too close to doing something that would incur that wrath. But all you could do to me would not come close to how I would feel just knowing that I hurt him."

Hermione studied him for a moment. Apparently deciding that he was telling the absolute truth, she nodded.

"Thank you for dancing with me. The last time Ron and I danced was our wedding. And surely you know Harry doesn't dance unless you force him."

"Actually, I have managed to get him to loosen up a bit in that area, though formal dances like this are still off limits."

"You will have to share with me some day how that is done, but I believe Ron is a hopeless case."

Harry and Ron watched their dates dance together.

"You don't have a problem with this, right?"

Ron shook his head. "If it means she stops nagging me to dance for five minutes, I'm all for it."

Harry laughed, taking another sip of his drink until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"The Minister would like to see you in his office."

Harry nodded. "Tell Draco I'll be back in a bit."

"What's going on?"

"Iran."

Ron nodded. "Let me know."

Harry followed Kingsley's assistant to his office where the Iranian ambassador was waiting, along with his translator, the French president, a man Harry did not know and another man who he recognized as the head of the French Aurors. The downfall of Voldemort was something that had affected many other countries and it was quite common to see foreign dignitaries at the anniversary celebration, but this was different. The relationship he and Kingsley built with these men could set the course for all future diplomatic relations. It was moments like this that he hated being Harry Potter.

When Harry went to rejoin his friends some time later, Ron and Hermione had disappeared, but Draco was waiting for him near the corner. He had his back to Harry, watching the dancing, and Harry was able to sneak up on him.

"Hello, stranger," he whispered in Draco's ear. "You come here alone?"

Draco half turned toward him. "I had a date around here somewhere, but he seems to have dumped me."

"I can take you home."

Draco grinned and kissed him quickly on the lips, for once not noticing who might be watching.

"Where have you been? Weasley said it was work stuff."

"Iranian ambassador and his people. He's loaning us some support for a case."

"Goyle."

"We're not talking about this tonight."

"I'm only worried. He nearly killed you once already."

"I'm still alive though. Let's talk about something else. What do you think of your first Ministry ball?"

Reluctantly and with a pout, Draco agreed to the subject change. "I'm glad I came here with you tonight. Even if your reputation is lost forever."

Harry nuzzled Draco's neck, pressing a soft kiss there. "Do you want to do one more thing with me tonight?"

Draco smirked. "Right here? I didn't think you were such an exhibitionist."

"Not that. Though perhaps later. What I meant now was something a little different."

Draco nodded and allowed Harry to lead them out of the house and just outside the apparition wards. Harry apparated them to the edge of a forest and it took Draco a moment to realize that they were at Hogwarts. He cast Harry a questioning look that was met with a mysterious smile. Harry walked forward and Draco followed. While the castle itself was closed after curfew, the grounds were always open on this night and many of the guests of the Hogsmeade parties would wander up there to remember and pay their respects. Harry always waited until revelers had dispersed some before making his trip. He walked straight to the white tome, with Draco following closely.

"I come here every year. I know he actually died the year before, and on a different date, but it feels right to honor him on this night instead. If not for him, we wouldn't have won."

"It's funny, when I was a child I always thought he was an idiot. It took a while to understand how amazing he really was. I wish I could have told him how wrong I was."

"You can still tell him. I believe the dead can hear us if we want them to."

Draco considered for a moment telling Harry that he was a sentimental fool, but thought better of it. "It's a nice thought."

"We have one more stop to make."

"Another cemetery?"

"Yes."

Harry's blunt response told Draco that he didn't feel like elaborating. Draco guessed they would go to his parents' grave, but he was surprised when they arrived at the War Memorial Cemetery. Harry pulled the hood up on his cloak and didn't wander enough to let people recognize him, for the grave yard had quite a few visitors on this particular evening. He knew exactly where he was going and didn't slow down. As they approached the grave in question a figure in black turned to face them. Draco didn't know much about his cousin, Teddy Lupin, but judging by the blue hair, this was him. He greeted Harry with a half smile then his eyes turned to Harry's date.

"You must be Draco." He held out his hand and Draco took it. "I'm Teddy. Good to meet you."

"Same here." Draco looked just past him to the headstone which read "Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin and Remus J Lupin Loving Parents, Brave and Loyal Friends." Teddy followed his gaze.

"My parents," he explained. "I don't even remember them, but I come lay flowers anyway."

"They would be proud of you," said Harry.

Teddy rolled his eyes. "You tell me that every time they're mentioned."

"It bears repeating. I wish someone had been around to tell me that when I was growing up. I was eleven before I heard anything good about my parents. It's important."

"Yes, I know," he responded with the tone of a young child who had been lectured too many times. "Are you headed to his grave?"

Harry nodded.

"I'll see you at work then, yeah?"

Harry nodded once more and continued.

"Whose grave?"

Harry turned and smiled. Instead of responding, he pointed forward to a spot twenty fee away. One grave stood apart from the others underneath an old oak tree. While many others were surrounded by flowers, this one was not. It was a slightly larger stone, but not overly fancy. As they drew closer Draco could make out the bold lettering:

_Severus Snape_

_Teacher, Headmaster, Hero_

"I didn't know he was buried here."

"You wouldn't believe what it took to make it happen. I had to go to a special hearing to testify he was on our side. He hated his home where he grew up and didn't have any living family, so this was really the best place for him. I think I'm the only one who comes here."

"You hated him at school."

"Before I knew all he'd done for me, yes. He gave his life for mine, even though I was the reminder that the woman he loved married someone else. But it didn't matter because he really did love her and he gave his life so that a part of her could survive. That kind of loyalty should be remembered, honored. To this day, many people don't acknowledge the good he did."

"They remember how he acted toward people. It's hard for me to remember whose side he was on. He played his part well."

Harry knelt down next to the stone and conjured a vase and flowers. Lillies.

"Until next year then, Professor."

Harry stood and held out his hand for Draco.

"Want to go home?"

Draco nodded, smiling. It was so peaceful there with Harry. When Draco had experienced death it was somewhat different. He didn't grieve the way Harry did and maybe that was the problem. He hadn't been allowed to grieve. When he was young his grandmother died and his father made a point of telling him how a man should handle death in a dignified manner. Tears and dignity had no place together. It was a good lesson to remember during the war, for his ability to hide his feelings saved his life in a house where Voldemort was master. But after, when the danger was over, had he allowed himself to really mourn his losses? He moved on as his father had, with his head held high. Had he even cried when Lucius died? But by suppressing the tears, hadn't he also suppressed the feeling? And that was why Harry had survived and Draco was a mess. Harry felt _everything._ It was unavoidable. And Draco… well what he did feel he had a hard time making sense of.

The one thing he did know was that he was completely in love with a man who never failed to amaze him. And it wasn't the hero thing or the Auror thing. It was Harry's ability to still be so open after everything he'd been through. He'd seen more horrors than most and he'd lost more loved ones than anyone, but he still allowed himself to love and be loved. He remained strong. Not perfect, no. Harry had plenty of flaws. He had a horrible temper, hated cleaning his flat and had the worst sense of style of anyone Draco had ever known. But that didn't stop Draco from being completely amazed by him.

"Do you really believe the dead can hear us?" Draco asked later in bed. They'd been quiet for several minutes and he was reasonably sure that Harry hadn't fallen asleep yet. They'd decided to go to Draco's flat and he never fell asleep as quickly there.

"Yes."

"What do you tell them?"

"To Dumbledore, I tell him thank you, for making me the man I am today. I didn't know my father, and though I don't think of Dumbledore as a dad, he's the closest I had to one, you know? My uncle was worthless as far as male role models go, but I felt close to Dumbledore. To my parents, I tell them about their grandchildren. I tell them I love them."

"I've never done that. Well, just once. Where do you suppose the dead go where they can still hear us? Heaven? I doubt my father would be there. He's probably in Hell with Voldemort."

"Or maybe he paid for his sins already through his years of self hatred and regret."

"There's no way of knowing, I suppose."

"There's always hope. I'd like to believe that God, or whoever, takes into consideration how we live our lives, even after we've done something terrible. He knows if we've truly repented. I want to believe that he is fair. That as long as our intentions are pure we will see those we love again." He pulled Draco closer. "I'd like to believe that even death wouldn't keep me away from you."

Draco scoffed. "You're such a romantic."

"Perhaps." Harry kissed him on the forehead. "I need to ask you something and I don't want you to freak out."

"That sounds… ominous."

"Well, it isn't meant to be. I wanted to know if you'd like to move in with me."

Draco sat up and turned to look down at Harry. "Are you serious?"

Harry shrugged. "You said I was a romantic."

"You do remember who you're speaking with, right? Just a few hours ago I was panicking at the thought of coming out."

"Which is why I don't expect you to answer right now. I only bring it up because I've been thinking about getting a different place—something that's better for the kids when they visit. Especially since I'm pretty sure they'll be staying with me for the summer. Ginny is going to be busy covering the World Cup for the magazine, so it's better if they're with me. I haven't gone looking for a house yet, but I was thinking of someplace in the country. Enough rooms for the kids. Last summer they didn't appreciate being squished together at my flat. Maybe some land to go flying on."

"So you want to move that soon? Before school lets out?"

"I was considering it. You stay at my place most of the time anyway. Last night was the first one you spent here in weeks, so I figured if I move you should have some say in the matter. I was hoping that you would come with me, but I understand if you can't."

"How did you become so damn understanding? How do you know exactly what to say?"

"I know you, Draco."

"Yes. And yet you still want to live with me. That is what I find confusing."

"Nothing confusing about it. You can even keep this place as an escape. Or for your nights out."

"You want to keep our current arrangement and live together?"

Harry shrugged again. "Unless you've changed your mind about that part within the past few hours. I was under the impression that we wanted to keep our options open."

"I didn't think you would. Not if we're living together."

"I don't see any reason why not. We only just agreed to it, so I'm certainly not going back on it. Besides, at this point you don't really leave my flat for anything other than clean clothes anyway. I don't think much would change. Except for when the children are home, and then things would be very different. It wouldn't be like Easter."

Draco offered a small smile. "It would be… almost like we were a family."

Harry nodded and pulled Draco by the arm until he lay down again with his head on Harry's chest.

"Do you really think we can live together without killing each other?"

"Yes," Harry answered without hesitation. "We would find a way."

Draco didn't answer immediately. There were two sides of him at war with each other. His instinct to protect himself was screaming to say no, to crawl into a bottle of scotch and forget Harry ever said anything. But this was Harry. Could he really not take this chance to stay with Harry? What had Ginny said about Harry's patience running out? But it wasn't really that. He knew he shouldn't rush into something just to make Harry happy or out of fear of losing him. No, it was something else. It was how waking up next to Harry made him feel. It was the thought of being a family with Harry. It was huge and scary and so completely sudden. Draco just wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

**A/N: So what do you think? Is he going to do it? :)**


	24. Slytherins and Gryffindors

**A/N: A little bit different point of view in this one….**

**Chapter Twenty-Four – Slytherins and Gryffindors**

Scorpius sat alone on one end of the Slytherin table. It was nearing the end of lunch and most of the Great Hall had been cleared out. It was a perfect day outside and many students were taking advantage of it. Scorpius preferred it indoors. Or anywhere else that ensured minimal interference from classmates. It wasn't that he didn't have any friends at all, but he wasn't extremely popular and the last few weeks had taken their toll on his reputation. The day after Hogwarts Day, an article appeared in the _Daily Prophet_ exposing the relationship between his father and Harry Potter. He and Al had both endured their share of snide remarks throughout those past four weeks and now some of the troublemakers had begun to find other things to occupy their time. But not all of them.

"Look there, boys, it's that Malfoy ponce."

Scorpius looked up from his book at the sixth year Slytherin who currently stood before him. His name was Seth Rogers. No one liked him, but no one really stood up to him. He had a couple goonish friends by his side at all times who did his bidding. They went out of their way to make life miserable, especially for the younger students. Scorpius tried to maintain a look of disdain, but in truth he was scared and knew that he couldn't show it. It would be all over if he showed any weakness. He sneered and looked back at his book.

"Whach'ya readin' about there?"

Scorpius continued to ignore him. Next there came a rough shove from Rogers.

"I'm talking to you, faggot."

Scorpius took a moment to reign in his anger and then calmly flipped a page in his book, though he most certainly wasn't reading any longer. He didn't look up at Rogers when he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I don't answer to derogatory remarks. Particularly not to those ones that do not even apply to me."

"Think you're funny?"

"I also don't answer pointless questions."

"Come on Malfoy," Rogers said, grabbing Scorpius by the arm and pulling him out of his seat. "Let's see how mouthy you are when we take this outside."

Scorpius looked down at the hand on his bicep and then back up at Rogers' face. "Let go of me," he growled.

"Or what? Will you have your fag father teach us a lesson? I'd like to see that."

"I don't need my father to kick your arse for me, though he could, without even thinking about it. He would have all of you hexed into oblivion before you could even get it together enough to draw your wand."

"Oh, did I touch on a nerve? Did I upset you? Maybe you're a fag too?"

"Let him go."

Scorpius stopped glaring at Rogers to turn toward the voice. There was Al Potter, wand already drawn and his cousin, Rose, standing beside him.

"Or what, Potter? Will you try to defend your family honor too? Because really it is pointless now, isn't it?" A slow grin spread across his face. "Or have you come to protect your boyfriend? You a poof like your dad?"

"He's not my boyfriend. But he doesn't have to be. You're a jerk and a bigot and we're not going to let you push us around just because you don't like our parents."

A few of Al's Gryffindor friends and a couple Weasley cousins noticed what was going on and gathered behind him.

Scorpius smirked up at Rogers. "You see, our dads might be fags, but they taught us how to stand up to filth like you." He roughly pulled his arm out of Rogers' grip. "Now run along. You know how those Weasleys get when some holier-than-thou Slytherin messes with one of their own."

Rogers looked down at him. "This isn't over, Malfoy," he said quietly before stalking away.

Al watched him go through narrowed eyes and then turned to Scorpius.

"Well done, Potter. Now everyone thinks you're my boyfriend." He finished with a smirk and Al grinned at him.

"Think we'll make the _Daily Prophet_?"

"It might be interesting. I think our fathers would die of heart failure if it happened though."

The assembled Weasleys had begun to disperse and Rose leaned into Al and whispered something before leaving. Al joined Scorpius at the Slytherin table.

"Thanks for the help, Potter. Saved me the trouble of hexing him myself."

"He's a jerk."

"Not the first time he's started something with me."

"Why don't you tell someone?"

"Because I can take care of it."

"Yeah. Looked that way."

Scorpius scowled. "Look, I appreciate you're helping, but you only stopped it this time. It doesn't do anything about next time or the time after."

"Well, he shouldn't just get away with it!"

"Can we talk about something else? Please?"

Al stared at him for several moments before conceding defeat. "Fine. Did you get a letter from your dad today too?" Scorpius nodded. "I guess we'll be living in the same house this summer then, huh?"

"I have to visit Mother too, but yeah."

"Do you think it will be weird?"

"It almost has to be, doesn't it? I mean, they're living together. That's totally different than how it was at Easter."

"Until Easter I'd never seen my dad kiss anyone but Mum."

"Me either."

"At least no one here knows about that yet. It's gotta be only a matter of time before that's in the paper too. I think the stories are getting nicer now though. Almost like it's not that big a deal."

"Has everyone in Gryffindor been okay with things?"

Al shrugged. "Not too bad. After the Hogwarts Day Ball they started saying stuff, mostly just shit about your dad from the war. I told them all to get stuffed. What about the Slytherins?"

Scorpius imitated Al's shrug. "Well there's not much bad they can say about your father. But the thing about Slytherins is that most of them are all very traditional, particularly the ones from older pureblood families. Most of them accept that people can be gay. They just can't accept that anyone who is gay would flaunt the fact socially."

"It's not like they're really flaunting it though. I mean, they haven't done anything any other couple doesn't do. They went to a dance, they're living together. It's not like they're_ asking _the paper to run stories on them."

"Of course not, but there's a double standard, I've noticed. If a straight couple does something it's because they have a happy, healthy relationship. If a gay couple does the same thing then it's only to shove their lifestyle in our faces."

Al frowned in concentration. "That… doesn't make sense."

"To some people it does, I guess."

"It's stupid."

Scorpius laughed. "Well then you can lead the crusade to change the way the wizarding world thinks. Maybe they'll give you your own holiday too, like your father."

"I don't think so. But at Easter, my dad told me about something that muggles do. They actually have whole weeks or weekends called 'gay pride'. He said it started out as a way to protest unequal treatment and it eventually became an annual celebration, even after the muggles started allowing gay marriage and people started changing their beliefs. They still do it. Now it's just a celebration of diversity and freedom. Why couldn't wizards do something like that? Maybe it would start to change the way wizards feel about gay people."

"Sounds… ambitious. Too ambitious. And I don't think it would go over well."

"Why?"

"Because most wizards hate gays. And even more, they hate gays who won't stay in the closet. It's just the way it is."

"But our dads aren't the only gay wizards. Rose says it's statistically impossible."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "That cousin of yours is an obnoxious know-it-all."

"Yes, but she's not wrong. And if there are more gay wizads then there is support to change people's minds. That and everyone sort of loves my dad. Once they get used to him being out, they'll see it's not so terrible."

Scorpius appraised Al for a moment, wondering why they were even having this conversation. "Why is this so important to you?"

Al glanced away as his cheeks reddened. "It's not," he muttered. "I just figured that it wasn't fair that my dad is being treated like this. And us. Rogers nearly beat you up because he's offended by your dad's choice of date."

"Which is troubling, but not worthy of the careful thought and consideration you have put into your little 'gay pride' plan."

"But don't you ever think about that? I mean, what if our dads wanted to get married? They wouldn't be able to under wizarding law. Don't you think they should if they want?"

"But they don't, so it's irrelevant."

"You never know. A month ago you probably didn't think they'd want to live together either."

And with that, Al stood and made his exit. Scorpius frowned. Al had a point. His father had always been cynical when it came to relationships and more so since the divorce. Scorpius hadn't really thought about whether he would ever remarry, and it certainly hadn't crossed his mind since he discovered the truth about his father's sexuality. What if he did want to marry Harry? Would they even consider it since it wasn't actually legal?

Scorpius sat quietly mulling over all the possibilities. Living together was practically the same as getting married anyway. And as much as he liked Harry, it was a lot to get used to. The homophobia impressed upon him by his mother left him with a lingering discomfort about the whole situation, though he wasn't actually opposed to their relationship. He could tell that his father loved Harry and the feeling was returned. That much was obvious. He wasn't really sure what the doubts remaining really were or where they were coming from.

And what would it be like to live with the Potter family? Not that he had to worry about it too much. They only had summers and holidays together. It would be different if they were younger. Would that make them like siblings? He tried to picture growing up with James, Al and Lily and failed. Obviously he had never had the experience of living with anyone other than his parents and dorm mates. He used to wonder what it would be like to have a brother or sister, but somehow he always knew that his parents would never have another child. Lily seemed to be okay and Al was great. For a Gryffindor. James was a problem though. The thought of spending an entire summer with James was like taking History of Magic every day. But maybe Al was okay. Yes, if Scorpius had to have a brother, Al wouldn't be so bad.

"He just seems so weird in class. He hardly talks to anyone," Rose said later that evening.

Al frowned at his cousin. Rose had very firm opinions about Scorpius, as he was the only student in their year who could match her marks in any class.

"You wouldn't talk to anyone either if they all thought your dad was evil."

"I just can't imagine him being any fun to be around for the summer."

"I told you he was okay over Easter."

"I can't believe they're living together."

"Shh." Al glanced around to make sure they weren't overheard. Everyone in the Gryffindor common room seemed to be busy with their own activities. "Keep it quiet. I only told you because I figured you could keep a secret."

"Now, now. You had best be careful or I'll think you are ashamed after all."

"I'm not ashamed. I just really don't want to go through all of the crazy attention again. Not right away."

They were quickly interrupted by James, who happened to be just coming in from dinner. He separated from his friends and approached Al and Rose's corner.

"I heard what you did with Malfoy earlier."

"And?"

"Better watch it or people will start talking."

"I don't care what they say. I'm not going to let him get bullied. We're all in the same situation here. We should want to look out for each other."

"If you think I'm going to look out for Malfoy, you're insane. And if Dad thinks I'm going to share a house with him he's even more delusional than you. It's not going to happen."

"I don't see how you could stop it," said Rose. "It's already happened, hasn't it?"

"She's right," said Al. "They already found a house. Unless you can figure out how to talk them out of moving next week, it's going to happen."

"It doesn't mean I have to be part of this disaster. They can't make me go along with it. Sorry, little brother, but you're on your own if you're going to save Malfoy's arse every time someone decides to put him in his place."

James stalked off then to join his friends.

"Why is it that I don't see any family resemblance right now?" asked Rose.

"Because my brother is an arse."

She nodded.

One week later, Draco and Harry apparated to the boundaries of Hogwarts and Draco practically ran up the path toward the front doors. Harry was having a hard time keeping up. When they received the letter from the headmistress that Scorpius had been injured Draco was out the door so fast that Harry couldn't even insist on coming with him. Harry burst into the Entrance Hall just behind Draco and followed him up the steps.

"Harry?"

He glanced up the stairs to see Neville ahead of them on the next landing.

"I was just getting ready to owl you."

"Why? Were Al or James hurt?"

Neville frowned. "Not exactly." He looked at Draco. "Scorpius is well. He's resting."

"What happened?"

"From what I've gathered, an older boy has been giving him trouble lately. They got in a fight today. Madam Pomfrey will likely let him go back to his dorm in a few hours."

"Why were you owling me then?" asked Harry.

Neville sighed. "This is where it gets a bit complicated. Al wasn't there when Scorpius was attacked, but he heard about it right after. He knew the history with this kid, Rogers, and went after him."

"What do you mean 'went after' him?"

"He found out Scorpius was in the hospital wing and attacked Rogers. Now Rogers is in the hospital wing too."

Harry was too shocked to speak.

"Well, we wanted the children to get along," Draco commented.

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind. How badly was Rogers hurt?"

"I've seen worse. I haven't decided what Al's punishment will be."

"Whatever you decide, I know it's what he deserves. Can I talk to him?"

Neville nodded. "He's at the hospital wing, waiting outside."

"Thanks."

Harry hurried past him, but Draco paused, looking directly at Neville.

"Thank you, Longbottom. I really appreciate it."

Harry turned around in time to see the look of surprise pass over Neville's face. He finally nodded. "Any time, Malfoy."

Draco followed Harry up the stairs.

"You'd think I'd never been nice to him before."

Harry snorted. "I don't think you've ever been."

They turned the corner and Al came into view. He was sitting rather dejectedly on the bench outside the infirmary doors. Even from the distance, Harry could tell that he was feeling some remorse for what he had done. Al must have heard them, for he looked up and his eyes widened immediately at the sight of his father. He stood, hands suddenly fidgeting out of nerves.

"Professor Longbottom called you?"

"No. I came with Draco to see Scorpius."

"Oh." There was a hopeful glint in his eye then. "Well Madam Pomfrey won't let me in to see him yet. She says he's fine though."

"I ran into Neville on the staircase and he told me what happened."

Al's gaze dropped to the floor. "Oh."

"Yes."

Draco cleared his throat. "I'll just leave the two of you to it then." He leaned in close to Al and murmured, "Just between the two of us, amazing work putting the boy in the hospital. Next time work on not getting caught."

"Draco!"

"I'm leaving now."

Al turned to watch Draco leave with a small smirk. Harry waited for the door to close behind Draco to address his son.

"You stood up for Scorpius and I'm proud of you for that. And Draco is allowed to be thankful for your actions today because Rogers hurt his son. But as your father I'm disappointed that you felt that you had to resort to violence to settle things."

"What should I have done? Just ask Rogers politely to leave us alone? I'm sure he would have gotten right on that."

"Of course not, but should you make yourself just as bad as him by attacking him?"

"He snuck up on Scorpius in a deserted hall. At least I did it out in the open and gave him a chance to defend himself. I'm just faster than he is."

Al finished with a cocky smirk that reminded Harry all too much of James. "No, you will not justify this. I understand that you got carried away when you found out about Scorpius and, frankly, I'm really glad that you feel a bond with him, but acting out this way is unacceptable. Neville is going to have to punish you. I don't know if it's detention or something more, but you will serve it and you will be a perfect gentleman for the rest of the term. If there's any more trouble from you, there will be consequences this summer."

"Yes, Dad."

With his fatherly duty out of the way, Harry just had to ask. "So, exactly what did you do to Rogers?"

"Just a couple jinxes. He… may have looked a bit like a slug for a little while. But I think Professor Nooly got him transfigured back right away…. Madam Pomfrey is just trying to figure out how to get rid of the mucus."

Harry stifled a laugh. "That's… terrible, Al. Very wrong. That's… Fourth Year level transfiguration though. It would be impressive. If it wasn't so wrong, of course."

"Of course." Al allowed himself a small smile.

"Everything else goes though. You're going to take Neville's punishment and you're going to stay out of trouble."

"Yes, sir."

Meanwhile, just inside the hospital wing, Draco resisted the urge to look around the curtain at what he knew must be Al's victim and went straight for Scorpius' bed.

"I can't believe they owled you. It wasn't that big a deal."

"The note said there were broken bones."

"And those were fixed. Good as new," Scorpius said, waving his arm around in demonstration.

"Scorpius, someone intentionally hurt you badly enough to break bones. This isn't something that you can just shrug off as nothing. I wanted to be here for you."

"It's not a big deal. Rogers got worse." Scorpius nodded toward the curtain. "I saw them bring him in looking slimy and green."

"You have Al to thank for that."

"Al?"

"Yes. Word of your injury got around fast. Al wasted no time getting revenge for you."

Scorpius smiled. "Sounds like him."

"So the two of you are friends now?"

"I think so. He's nice, he gets what's going on here. He'd be getting the same kind of treatment, only it's easier to harass a Malfoy than a Potter."

Draco looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry for that. I feel partly responsible."

Scorpius shrugged. "It'll stop eventually."

"It shouldn't have to be this way though. They shouldn't be bothering you because of how they feel about me. I wish I could change their minds, but I can't. Maybe someday."

"You sound like Al now. He wants to change everyone's mind. Maybe he just wants life to be normal again."

"That's not unreasonable."

Before Scorpius could answer his father the door to the hospital wing opened again to admit a furious-looking Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy.

"Thank Merlin you're okay." She spared half a glance full of disgust for Draco as she passed him. "I would have been here sooner, but was out shopping and only just got the owl." She took over the chair next to his bed and put her hand on his. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."

"I'm fine, Mother. Besides, Father was here."

She scowled over at Draco. "Yes. Good of you to come, Draco. So glad you could tear yourself away from you life of debauchery long enough. Though I did see that you couldn't tear yourself away completely; Potter is out in the hall."

"Harry was concerned for Scorpius. And as it turns out, his son is the reason that the boy who did this to our son is lying over there on that cot," he finished, pointing across the room.

Astoria rolled her eyes. "How sweet of him. Isn't it amazing how Scorpius was never attacked until you started parading your private life on the front page of the paper?"

"You can't be implying that this is my fault."

"Oh, I'm more than implying it. I'm stating it outright. And if you think that I'm going to sit by and let this happen to my son then you've got another think coming. Maybe the courts would have been on your side before, but they're going to see quite clearly now that no child needs to go through this. They'll give me custody without question."

Draco glanced at Scorpius worriedly and then back to Astoria. "This has no bearing on custody disputes, but we will not discuss this now."

"You're right. There's nothing to discuss. Scorpius belongs with his mother. You can't provide a stable home for him and your reputation is going to get him killed."

"Enough. We're not having this fight in front of Scorpius."

"We're not having this fight at all. It's going to be decided in the court. Then Scorpius and I can go away to France or anywhere that people don't know what his father is!"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Scorpius yelled. "Mother, I'm not going anywhere. I don't want you to either, but if you're so set on getting away from Father then you're going to have to go without me."

"Scorpius, you don't know what you're talking about. Look at what he is doing to you, to your reputation. You were beaten because of him."

"I was beaten because Rogers is an arsehole. If it wasn't over Father then it would have been something else."

"I know what's best for you."

"No you don't. You think Father is worthless because of the war or because he's gay or a whole load of other reasons. But he's still my father and you can't change that."

Draco couldn't quite describe the feeling of pride he was experiencing at hearing his son stand up for him. Had it been only months ago that they weren't speaking?

"You want to be a big happy family with him and Potter?" Astoria sneered.

"Harry's not that bad. For a Gryffindor."

"Harry? It's 'Harry,' is it?" She looked back at Draco incredulously. "I will not have this."

"Well I don't really want him around that riffraff that you generally date, but I don't say anything because as his mother, I know that you would never do anything to harm him. I wish you had the same trust in me."

"Draco, you gave up the right to my trust when you fucked everything with a penis while we were still married."

"That's true. And I have apologized for it repeatedly. But that doesn't have anything to do with Scorpius; that is between you and me."

"Well I don't want him exposed to your life."

"Mother, stop," the boy said tiredly. "Whatever you think Father's life is, is not as bad as what you're trying to do right now. You're using this as a reason to turn me against him. It's not going to work. I don't think there's anything wrong with his life or Harry."

She nodded to Scorpius, but turned to Draco. "This isn't over yet."

A short while later Madam Pomfrey shooed everyone out of the hospital wing so that she could check Scorpius over and send him back to his dorm. Draco had to do a double take when the medi-witch first entered the room. She didn't appear to have aged a day in the twenty years since he was last under her care. He wondered briefly how long she had actually worked there and if she was just one of those things about Hogwarts that never really changed.

Astoria didn't speak to Draco as she prepared to leave. She walked briskly down the hall, slowing only enough to glare at Harry as she passed. Draco followed a moment later.

"You were actually married to her?"

"Yes. And no, she wasn't any less frigid then either. Where's Albus?"

"He went back to the dorms. He said he'll find Scorpius later." Harry grabbed onto Draco's hand as they headed down the hall and toward the front of the castle. "I still can't believe Al did that."

"He's a good boy. He's loyal," Draco responded.

"While I'm glad they're getting along, I would have rather it ended without Al attacking another student."

"It's no more than you would have done at that age. If someone hurt a person you cared about you had your wand drawn in seconds and an hour later you had been handed a week of detention. It's the Gryffindor way. I'm just glad Albus and Scorpius are becoming friends."

"Practically like brothers."

"Astoria is not happy about our living arrangements, however. She made that perfectly clear."

"What is she planning to do about it?"

"Nothing I can't stop."

Harry frowned at Draco's tone and the positively malicious smirk that was spreading across his face. "What are you doing to stop her? It's not illegal, is it?"

"I have a private investigator. I may have him stop by her home tomorrow with an envelope of photographs. If she sues for custody then her photos get dropped off on Rita Skeeter's door step."

"That's blackmail!"

Draco rolled his eyes. Harry could be funny sometimes. "Yes, but aren't you going to ask me what's in the photos?"

"No. That's illegal and immoral and a whole host of other things. I'm not listening to it. As an Auror, I am sworn to uphold the law."

"You're so cute when you're indignant. Let's just say that Astoria's latest bedmate can't afford to have the Ministry or his wife find out about his little secret."

Harry paused. "The Ministry? So that means he's…?"

"An elected official. Yes. Looking to be voted back into his current position soon and can't have a scandal right now. He's been overlooking some of her brother's more questionable activity because of their relationship, so she can't allow him to lose his power."

"Well now you have to tell me who it is."

"Nope. As an Auror, you have the duty to uphold the law. Remember? And in this particular case, that would be bad for me. Just let me handle this. I know how to deal with Astoria."

"You're such a Slytherin."

Draco smiled. A real, honest to goodness smile, with just a tiny glint of evil in the eyes. Harry loved seeing him happy like this. Really and truly happy.

"I'm not just a Slytherin. I'm a Malfoy. And we do not let anyone stand in our way." He sighed and adjusted his robes importantly. "I feel like me again. Draco Malfoy is back."

"I hope being back doesn't include making life hell for all Gryffindors and generally being an evil prat." Harry smiled. He thought he knew what Draco meant though. He'd come back from the outer edges of sanity. He wasn't the same Draco Malfoy who had been ready to end his life just a few months ago. But he wasn't the same Draco who Harry hated in school either. He'd gotten his confidence back, but all the parts Harry loved about him were there too.

"No." Draco gave him a kiss. "Back to being on top."

"Being on top? Is that strictly metaphorical?"

Draco grinned. "Well, let's go home and you can find out."


	25. A Place to Call Home

**I've been loving all the comments on the last chapter. Especially the ones about Al and Scorpius and what exactly their relationship is. You'll find out soon enough. :) By the way, we are nearing the end. There will be a total of 28 chapters.**

**Chapter Twenty-Five – A Place to Call Home**

The house wasn't really impressive by Malfoy standards. It was large enough for the four children and two adults in the summers, but not really fancy. It was, if Draco had to describe it, cozy. It was cozy in the same way that Harry was. It was simple, the way Harry liked things to be, not flashy. At one time Draco might have been annoyed by the country quaintness of the place, but it felt right because it felt like Harry.

With that thought in mind, and with no small amount of disgust with himself for thinking something so ridiculously sentimental, he resolved to make at least his office as un-Harry as possible.

He and his decorator, Paul, started with the windows. Draco loved the way the morning light filtered in, the way he could stare out at the lawn and trees. But the windows needed something for those days when he didn't want sunlight. He may not be as depressed these days, but he wasn't exactly perky either. The answer was heavy, dark green drapes. The rest of the room kept a very modern feel. The walls were adorned with Draco's own eccentric taste of art, along with a portrait of Lucius Malfoy over the dark marble fireplace. Harry wasn't particularly keen on that, but since it was Draco's father, he had little room to argue.

Of course, the very first order of business, before office equipment or sofas, was getting a new bed. Draco had it picked out before they had even officially bought the house. It was, after all, the most important piece of furniture in the house and he was very particular about it. Draco had waxed poetic about the bed for days leading up to its purchase. "Harry, this is the bed in which we are going to fuck for many years," he had said. "We cannot just pick the first piece you come across. It can't be like that monstrosity in your flat."

"My bed is comfortable. I sleep well on it."

"Yes, it is comfortable. But that's all it is. The frame is very boring. A bed should inspire one to be better, to be creative. To be a sex god. Your bed, while adequate for sleeping, is uninspiring."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I can think of quite a few inspiring moments we've had on that bed."

"Yes. And just think of how many more we can have with a bed that inspires one to creative genius!"

And so Harry had handed over all control of their bedroom décor to Draco, who wouldn't have had it any other way. He was taking his time choosing the perfect pieces to compliment the bed. A week after they started sleeping in the new house, they still only had a bed and a mirror. Nothing to put clothes in, which was a problem for Harry, but not as much for Draco, considering he insisted on hanging almost all of his clothes up in the enormous closet so as to avoid unsightly creases. Harry, who really didn't care about creases, teased that Draco should have special hangers made for his socks and underwear. It worried Harry just a little bit when it appeared that Draco was taking the suggestion under advisement.

The closet was something that almost made Draco pass on the house altogether. It was decent size, to most people. To Draco, it was scandalous. Harry actually had to remind him that it was very little trouble to use magic to expand the closet and that was the first thing he did after the sale was final. He gave everything its own place: accessories, muggle clothes, robes and especially shoes. No one really realized that he had a shoe problem until they had to move them out of his flat. Harry watched it all in amusement.

"You could be Carrie Bradshaw's twin," he had commented.

"Who?"

"She was a character on _Sex and the City_." Draco stuck his head out of the closet, staring at Harry with confusion. "When we first left school Ginny moved into my flat in a muggle neighborhood and she soon became addicted to TV, particularly that show. She had to watch it every week. Even had to see the movies they made after the show ended."

"And of course you had to watch it with her." Harry nodded. "Let me guess, you thought Carrie and Aiden were the perfect couple and were only moderately satisfied when she ended the series with Big."

He laughed. "You know me too well. Anyway, you are the only man I've ever known, gay or straight, who comes close to the same kind of shoe and clothing addiction as Carrie."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "Good story, Harry, really. First of all, I can't believe you'd admit to being old enough to remember that show. Secondly, you know what just boggles my mind? How, given your television preferences, no one ever figured out that you were gay."

And with that, Draco went back to his closet remodeling, leaving Harry to ponder that last comment.

One down side of the decorating process was that Paul was around. Constantly. Harry didn't mind Paul all that much, except for the knowledge that Draco had slept with him. But then, Draco had slept with everyone they knew at one point or another. It was unavoidable. Paul didn't seem to get the hint though. Harry made it clear that Draco was off limits in their house, but Paul still hung all over him. He had a way of putting his hand on Draco's at every available opportunity. Harry accepted that Draco was free to be with whomever he wanted. And he knew that to Draco, Paul was nothing more than a friend and former lover. There was absolutely nothing between them anymore. It was more the fact that Paul insisted on making his move right there in their home that really bothered Harry.

And what was more, Lily had noticed too. Paul, for the most part, acted as if she wasn't even there and she was smart enough to pick up on the flirting. She was old enough to understand the basics of how relationships worked; Ginny had "the talk" with her ages ago. So Harry cringed one morning in the kitchen when she asked him about Paul.

"He just likes Draco. That's all."

"But Draco is yours."

Harry snorted. "I don't claim ownership over any human being. Draco is my partner, but I don't have any say in who his friends are. I accept Paul as Draco's friend just like Draco has to accept your Uncle Ron as my friend. They don't like each other, but they do it for me. And Draco would have fit if you implied he was owned by anyone."

"But this is different. I'm pretty sure Paul wants to have sex with Draco."

And then it was out. Harry's eleven-year-old daughter had just said the word "sex" to him. Harry froze in shock, which was awkward since he was halfway through swallowing a spoonful of porridge at the time. After coughing for several seconds, he collected his wits enough to respond to Lily.

"What makes you think that?"

"Dad, I'm not an idiot. I know what sex is."

"Yes, I get that. Now will you please stop saying it?"

"You need to do something that shows that Draco is yours."

"Moving in with him pretty much does that."

"No, I mean a big, romantic gesture. A ring would show everyone that he's got someone. They wouldn't flirt as much."

"Trust me, it wouldn't stop Paul."

"So you're saying you don't want to marry Draco?"

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. It was really too early for this conversation.

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something because if you're old enough to say the word sex in a sentence you can follow some of this. I'm not going to marry Draco. It's not legal under wizarding laws, first of all. And I don't feel like I need a ceremony or piece of paper to tell me that we're together."

"You married Mum."

"Can you picture your grandparents letting us get away with not having a ceremony? Besides, your mum is very traditional. Honestly though, I would have been happy to skip the wedding." Harry shrugged. "But that's just me."

"So you don't care that he just flirts with Draco?"

"I care, but Draco and I trust each other. Paul is… annoying. I'll admit that. But every relationship has its rules. We've finally found how we fit together, I think, and I'm happy with things the way they are. I don't need the unnecessary attention drawn to myself that a wedding would produce."

"I still think you should get married."

Harry rolled his eyes, thinking of the massive freak out Draco would have if the "M-word" was mentioned. "No, you just want to be in another wedding. Wait a little longer and I'm sure Victoire will let you be in hers when Teddy finally gets the nerve to ask her."

The subject was closed for the time being. She seemed happy with that idea, but Harry figured she was just the first of many who would ask. He didn't feel like he should have to answer to anyone on it. People were too nosey. He could still remember being harassed for years about when he and Ginny would get married. And once they were, people began asking when they would have children. It never stopped. He supposed it wouldn't be much different with Draco. Except the having children part.

Despite the talk with Lily, the worst of moving week came when Draco's mother stopped by. Harry had only seen her once since he started seeing Draco. The day after their official appearance as a couple she arrived at Draco's flat quite unexpectedly and Harry got the feeling that she was actually reconsidering her decision to save his life twenty years ago. She didn't say much to him, but even if Harry wasn't a highly trained Auror, he would have been able to read the body language.

Draco's relationship with his mother had been strained for months. She had alternated between smothering him and pushing him away ever since Lucius' death, but once Astoria began trying to turn Scorpius against Draco, Narcissa had taken her side. It was only because she knew Astoria would keep her grandchild from her, but Draco was still bitter about the betrayal. As such, he didn't feel the need to give his mother any warning that he was in a relationship with the most famous wizard in the world. She found out about it the same time as everyone else: in the _Daily Prophet_. Needless to say, she was not happy about it.

Lily answered the door when Narcissa arrived, and though no one ever found out the exact exchange that occurred between them, Draco appeared in the hall to find the older woman looking down at the girl with an elegantly arched eyebrow and the smallest of smirks on her lips.

"Mother! What are you doing here?"

"Is that any way to greet me? I had to see where my son would be living, didn't I?"

"Sorry. So what do you think?"

She made a point of glancing about before answering. "It's… quaint."

"Well it's not finished yet. Still a lot of decorating to do. Lily here is helping do the boys' rooms."

"I am sure she is a big help."

Harry's footsteps above became louder as he reached the stairs. He practically skipped down the stairs, beginning to say something about the color of Al's walls, but the words died on his lips when he caught site of Narcissa Malfoy.

"Hello," he said awkwardly. "I'm sorry. If I'd known you were here I'd have come down sooner."

"You see, Draco? _ That_ is how you should greet your guests. I am surprised that Potter has to teach you manners."

"I said I was sorry. Come in. I can show you around. Paul and I were just going to do a walk-through to make a list of all that we still need. I know how much you would love to include your opinion on it."

"Paul?"

"My decorator." He glanced at his mother's robes. Light blue and gorgeous, but not something that Paul would likely accept as normal clothing. "He's actually a muggle, so you may want to change."

"Of course." She took out her wand and in one fluid movement that Harry had to admire, her clothing was altered. She was now in an ash gray pencil skirt and white blouse with very expensive looking black shoes.

Draco looked her over again. "Paul is going to love you."

"Great," Harry muttered.

Draco spent the next several hours showing his mother around the new house with Paul and making notes on what still needed to be done. Narcissa seemed to be a natural at choosing colors and patterns. She must have gone through a hundred paint and fabric samples and by the end of the afternoon and most of the decorating plans had been made. That taken care of, Draco sent Paul home, made some tea and sat down with his mother at the kitchen table, since the sitting room had not yet been furnished. They made small talk for a few minutes and Harry was in and out of the kitchen himself fixing some plumbing under the sink. He tried not to listen to their conversation, but it was hard at times.

"Paul seems nice." Narcissa said suddenly, almost offhandedly.

Harry and Draco both froze, considering her tone. Harry's head was still inside the cupboard under the sink, using a ratchet charm to fix a loose pipe, but his hearing was quite good and it sounding like she was up to something.

"Yes," said Draco carefully. "He is."

"You know, I think he fancies you quite a bit."

"Yes, I know. But we're friends. That is all."

Narcissa nodded. "Do you remember my friend, Hera?"

"Vaguely."

"I saw her last week. You remember her son, Damien?"

"Also vaguely."

"There were some rumors that he was not all that interested in women, you know. Well Hera confirmed that it is true."

Draco shifted in his seat, noticing that Harry's work had gotten very quiet. He was hearing every bit of this too. "Oh?"

"He is quite handsome. And I remember how the two of you got along so well when you were children."

"Mother…."

"Well, you know I've never understood your desire to be with men, but if you must…"

"Mother," Draco whispered harshly. "I cannot believe that you are trying to set me up with someone the same week that I'm moving in with my boyfriend."

"You are moving in, you can just as easily move out one day. It is not as if you're bound to him forever."

She wasn't bothering to keep her voice down, knowing that Harry could hear her. Draco could see his fist clench before standing and walking stiffly out of the room. Draco took a deep breath, willing himself to not get upset. He needed to keep his cool. Maybe a few months ago he would have allowed her to say what she liked and complain about it later, but not now. If this was going to work he had to be direct with her. She didn't have to like his choices, but she had to respect that they were his alone to make.

"You're wrong, Mother. I am bound to him. Forever. Or until he sends me away. I love him. Even Scorpius loves him and you know how particular he is about people."

"Draco, you can't be serious."

"Did you think I'm not? That I'm just doing this to upset you? He makes me feel… like me. I've been just wandering through life, wondering when it was going to be over. I have tried everything I know to numb the pain and anger I felt, still feel, toward myself and the world. I lost so much of myself to that. And because of that I almost lost my relationship with my son. I almost took the same way out Father did. But Harry reminds me of who I am, or at least who I am capable of being. He understands me and makes me want to be better. He saved me… in every sense of the word. And I think… maybe… in a way, I saved him too. So yes, Mother, I am completely serious. And though you have the right to your opinion, I have to ask that you not insult him in our house."

She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "I apologize. I will do my best to accept him, but it will not be easy. I am only concerned for you."

"I know." Draco smiled a little. "But for the first time in probably my whole life, you don't need to be."

Draco found Harry twenty minutes later out in the storage shed polishing his favorite quidditch broom. Draco had come to notice that he only did that when he was particularly frustrated with something. Even though Harry had never shown anything other than complete patience with Draco, he knew that it took great effort for Harry to keep his temper under control. Anything that kept his hands busy helped the cause. Draco knew he left the kitchen because he was dangerously close to an outburst and he was trying desperately to get along with Narcissa.

"Are you pouting out here?" Draco asked.

"No." He most definitely was.

"Ignore my mother. She is an acquired taste and she only acts this way because she is protective of me."

"I can tell."

"You know if it was anyone but me you would win the parents over without a problem. I mean, who wouldn't want their son dating the great Harry Potter?"

"With us, with your family, there's just too much history." He nodded. "I understand. It's just… She's doing everything she can to convince you that you can do better."

"I've spent the past few years deliberately going against her wishes and loving it. I can disappoint her once more. Once she sees that this is for real she will accept you."

"You think so?"

"Case in point: Mrs. Weasley is the stand-in for your mother. How long did she tell you that you could do better before she came over here with a cake and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek?"

Harry thought about it. Molly had been not so subtly hinting that Draco was not good for Harry ever since she found out about them. The protests had lessened some after Harry's injury, but she started again full force when she found out they would be living together. As soon as the papers were signed on the house she mysteriously changed her tune. Harry suspected Ginny had something to do with it, but couldn't be sure.

The first day they spent in the new house, just fixing odds and ends and painting, Molly showed up out of the blue, shoved a plate of food at Harry and had Draco taking her on a tour of the house. It was as if none of her objections mattered any longer.

"So you're saying with a little time Narcissa will warm up to me and start baking cakes?"

"Certainly not. But she won't look as if she wants to curse you."

"Well that would be nice. Quite frankly, she scares me." Draco laughed at him. "I know she just needs to be protective of you. That's her job and it doesn't change just because you're grown up. I just… I don't know. I'm being stupid probably." 

"Yes, you are. You have the right to have doubts though. I've given you plenty of reason for it. But I'm here because I want to be. And because I'm done running away from you. My mother isn't going to change that."

"But all of this is scary still. Moving in together is… probably stupid. Probably moving too fast."

"Harry, do you know why agreed to this particular stupidity?" Harry shook his head. "Well, aside from the whole thing about being done running from you and trying to change my views on relationships and commitment, there was one other thing that made me say yes. I want you to know that this is extremely beyond my normal level of sentimentality, so you're only going to hear it once. The morning after you asked me I woke up next to you. I realized that there was no other way I ever want to wake up again. My flat doesn't feel like home anymore unless you're there. The night before the ball, when I had my little fit and left your place, I just didn't feel right. I couldn't sleep and when I finally did it wasn't restful. The home wasn't _our_ home. The bed wasn't _our_ bed. I like that when we're out and you say 'let's go home,' you imply that it is _our_ home, that it's someplace that I belong. So ignore my mother, because I know that I am where I am meant to be and where I _want_ to be. I've never felt that in my entire life. I'm hanging onto it."

They shared a kiss that was meant to be tender, but soon became much more serious. Soon Harry was pressed against the wall of the shed.

"We shouldn't do this now," he gasped. "Don't you have guests?"

Draco placed kisses along his jaw, pausing between to speak. "Paul has gone back to the city hunting for fabric for the study and Mother went home."

"Lily is still here… Ahhh…"

Draco grinned at the reaction she was getting. Harry had very sensitive ears.

"Yes, but she is in her room with a stack of catalogs to choose her curtains and linens."

"Oh." He tilted his head to the right to allow Draco full access to his neck and shoulder.

"It will keep her busy for another half hour at least."

"Oh?"

"She won't miss us at all."

"Well, if she's busy then I guess there's no harm…" Harry flicked his wand toward the door for a quick lockin charm and then grabbed Draco's hips and pulled his boyfriend flush against him. "I could really get used to this living together thing."

"Me too."

All in all, the transition from their places in the city to the new house was quite smooth. Lily and Draco went a little mad with the decorating, but it was nothing that Harry hadn't already expected. What he really hadn't expected was how easy it was to live with Draco. He was practically Lily's best friend and the three of them felt completely comfortable moving around each other.

The only exception was the sex. When Lily was with Ginny then sex was just as amazing as it had ever been. But when she stayed with them, Harry found himself reluctant to get too romantic. It was completely ridiculous, he knew. After all, he and Ginny never had a problem having sex after the children were asleep in their rooms. It felt different with Draco. Maybe he was just used to it being just the two of them. Maybe it was leftover awkwardness from only just recently coming out. But he didn't have a problem with other displays of affection in front of the children. They kissed or held hands when Lily was in the room, but for some reason he found himself holding back. Even after he knew Lily was asleep, he was careful not to be too loud and always had a feeling that she was about to walk in on them. Not the best way to feel in his own house and it didn't take long for Draco to do something about it.

It was the middle of the week and Harry was half way through an extremely boring case report, written by Auror Matthews, when Natalie's voice came over the intercom on his desk.

"You have a visitor, Auror Potter."

"I thought we agreed I shouldn't be disturbed until the paperwork is finished." They did this every week to ensure Harry wouldn't put it all off until the end of the week. He had done that occasionally and it made for very hectic Fridays.

"I'm sorry, he's not taking no for an answer."

"Unless it's Minister Shacklebolt, then…"

Harry trailed off when he heard Natalie giggle quietly. He'd heard the same giggle once when the Russian ambassador flirted with her, but normally Natalie was all business. Occasionally someone would make eyes at her, trying to get in to see him, but she was firm. That was what Harry loved about her. It took a master of flirting to get past her defenses and he didn't have to worry about being disrupted throughout the day when Natalie was on the job.

"Natalie?"

"Sir, I'm sorry. He's very persuasive and I'm ninety percent sure you want to see this one."

"Can I at least know who it is first?"

Instead of a response from Natalie, Harry got his answer when the door swung open to reveal Draco. He grinned at Harry.

"Security is terrible around here. They'll let anyone in."

"What are you doing here?"

"Stalking you." Draco greeted Harry with a kiss and sat down on the edge of the desk. "Actually Lily sent me to deliver a message. She has new plans for Albus' room." He pulled some papers out of his robes pocket and unfolded them, handing them over to Harry. "She wants to do something like this."

"I don't see any reason why not. We're already spending a fortune, we may as well go completely broke."

"What fun is decorating if you don't spend a lot of money?"

"You came all the way down here to get my approval for this when you know she will have changed her mind by the time I get home tonight?"

"I may have had… other motives for coming here."

It took Harry a moment to realize what Draco meant, but then his eyes widened.

"No. Not in my office. I will never be able to get any work done in here again if I keep picturing you bent over my desk."

"Come on. We've hardly done it this week because of Lily more or less living there."

"Well, now you know what it's going to be like this summer."

"Exactly. I will be coming to see you on your lunch break every day."

"No. Some of us actually have to work at work."

"Well then you're going to have to get over the thought that the children are in the house. Christ, didn't you and the wife do it in the same house as the kids? This isn't any different."

"You're right. I know. It just feels different."

"Silencing spells still work, you know."

"Yes, you've made your point. We're still not doing it in my office."

"We'll see about that, Potter. You have now made it my mission in life to fuck you at work." Draco smiled widely with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows before leaving the office. As the door clicked shut behind him, Harry shuddered. For he knew it would not take long to break his defenses. Draco Malfoy would have his way.

It only took him three more weeks to make it happen.


	26. Hard at Work

**I lied. It will be 28 ½ chapters. I originally wasn't going to write office sex, but I couldn't resist. And I apologize in advance for the shameless pun in the chapter title. That I also couldn't resist. Chapter 26 will be long within the next 24-48 hours hopefully.**

**M rating on this chapter. (And I blame my best friend entirely for this fact. I borrowed his dirty, slutty mind for a few hours.)**

**Chapter 25.5 – Hard at Work**

"Auror Potter, you have a visitor. Again."

"Tell him to go away." Harry quickly scribbled his signature on the bottom of a very important document. At the moment he couldn't have said exactly what that document was, however, because Natalie's message had just put him on alert.

This was the sixth time Draco had visited him at work since they moved in together. Draco really wasn't clingy, but he was getting the reputation for it at the Ministry. Harry's co-workers figured that he couldn't deal with being away from Harry for the day, and that was why he would show up randomly. Maybe he had trust issues and wanted to make sure Harry wasn't cheating. The rumors ran wild. They even came close to guessing the real reason for the visits.

Harry's resolve was quickly crumbling. Last time Draco showed up in his office he was wearing nothing under his robes. It was getting more difficult to say no to sex in the office. Harry knew if he just did it to get it over with then Draco would leave him alone. But his office was the only place that he had always considered off limits for the sake of professionalism. And he meant what he said to Draco that first day. If his mind was filled with various sex acts and naked Draco, there was no way he would ever have another productive day at work again.

"He's very persistent," Natalie said. Harry could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Don't let his flirting get to you. He's gay, remember?"

"Yes, Auror Potter."

Silence.

"Natalie?"

A giggle preceded her response this time, so Harry got up and went to the door. Draco was seated on the edge of Natalie's desk in a very relaxed manner. He was smiling down at her, laying on the charm. She had seemed to take a liking to him right away, but with each of his visits she got friendlier. She hadn't gone soft on any other visitors. Anyone short of Ron or Kingsley still had to have an appointment and she guarded the appointment book with her life. Draco had become the exception. Maybe, Harry thought, she figured he was safe to flirt with. He obviously wasn't really interested and she knew that Harry wouldn't actually be upset that Draco was there. And, he reasoned, Draco was really fun to flirt with. He knew that from experience.

"Natalie, why don't you go ahead and go to lunch?"

"Are you going out for lunch?"

"I may. I have to have a talk with my visitor first. After lunch I have to go out to the training site, so I'll need you here to take messages. Go enjoy your lunch and I'll hold down the fort, eh?"

"Yes, sir." She stood and picked up her purse, smiling at Draco. "Good to see you again, Mr. Malfoy. Enjoy your lunch."

"I will, Natalie. Thank you." And if that wasn't enough, he winked at her.

Harry pushed his office door open all the way. "In. Now."

Draco went inside and sat down in the chair across from Harry's desk while Harry went quickly to his own chair. Almost without even thinking about what he was doing or planning anything out, Harry cast a quick locking and silencing spell on the room.

"This needs to stop. The entire department is talking about you."

"Well, as a great man once said, 'the only thing worse than being talked about is _not_ being talked about.'"

Great. He was quoting Oscar Wilde, which meant that he was in a very particular mood. It was a good mood and under any other circumstances Harry would love seeing him like this: sarcastic, witty, relaxed and absolutely charming. Harry often thought of Wilde characters when trying to describe Draco. Perhaps Algernon Moncrieff when he was happy and playful. Lord Henry Wotton in his darker moods. Or maybe he was a combination of characters rolled into one, much like the playwright himself. But whatever the character, Draco was at his most Slytherin at times like these and Harry had a hard time saying no to him.

"And the only thing worse than either of those is having every Auror in England talking about you."

"I thought you didn't care what people said," Draco responded innocently.

"About being gay. Not about my partner being a clingy, obnoxious twit."

"That's a horrible thing to say." He didn't seem offended though. "They talk because they are jealous. And who wouldn't be? Even the photos they ran of us in that nasty article after the ball were gorgeous. Lesser beings can't help but cry out at their own misfortune." Harry rolled his eyes at that. "Besides, my dear, gossip is the main ingredient in a healthy society. Repressing it is unnatural."

"Amazing how in favor of it you are now after months of anxiety over it before we came out."

"A man can change his opinion."

"You need to stop flirting with my assistant."

"She started it."

"And you don't even bring lunch with you when you come here."

Draco licked his lips hungrily. "I suppose it depends on what you want."

"Draco…"

"Fine. I know I have to give up. You're obviously not giving in to my little scheme, so I'm moving on. Besides, I don't really fancy being thought of as clingy." He stood up and sat back down on the edge of the desk, right in front of Harry's chair. "I know when I'm bested."

Harry looked up at his face. He was so close, just inches away. There hadn't been very much sex in the new house. Harry had begun getting over his awkwardness with having Lily in the house, but things weren't quite back to what they had been. Maybe, Harry reasoned, he was testing Draco on some level. He'd happily agreed to non-monogamy, but there was a little part of Harry that was intensely curious as to how much Draco would take advantage of the agreement. Not jealous really, but curious. They both had the right to go out and have fun with someone else if they chose to, but Harry worked so much that he didn't often go out at all and when he did it was with Draco. The last time he was with anyone else was shortly after they'd returned from Paris, but he couldn't say the same for Draco. Maybe a small part of him wanted to know how easily Draco would be persuaded to satisfy his needs elsewhere.

But Draco was here, in his office. He was playful and persistent and they still wanted each other. The only part of their living arrangements that gave Harry pause at all had been the thought that they would get bored with each other too easily. And if that happened, their non-monogamy agreement would make it easier to distance emotionally if and when one of them found his entertainment in another's bed. That was what truly bothered him. Not the sex. He liked the excitement of meeting someone new. He liked the threesome in Paris. But he would turn it all down if it could cause him to lose Draco emotionally. But for the first time he really knew that Draco wasn't going anywhere. Draco was his. Without a ring, without monogamy, without some grand romantic gesture that his daughter was sure was the answer to everything.

Without really giving it much thought, Harry reached a hand out and rested it on Draco's knee. Slowly he moved forward, up his thigh. He never took his eyes off Draco's as his hand moved over the bulge in Draco's trousers and he smiled when Draco's eyes fluttered shut briefly.

"I thought you weren't interested today," Draco commented faintly.

"Well… I have to have something for lunch, don't I?"

Draco smirked and glanced down at Harry's hand covering him. "Anything you like is on the menu."

Harry squeezed him through the layers of clothing. A moment later he was unzipping the trousers and Draco stood long enough to pull them down and then leaned back against the desk. Harry's hands went to Draco's hips as he stood. Very slowly he leaned in, brushing a light kiss against those perfect lips. His hands began to move, caressing his arse. He could feel Draco's hard cock against him. And suddenly he knew exactly what he wanted for lunch.

Harry dropped to his knees in front of his lover. If Harry had to choose his favorite sex act, it would be this. How did he live all those years without knowing this? He moaned as he took Draco into his mouth, and Draco did too. He loved the feel of Draco's dick in his mouth, the taste, everything. Why didn't everyone want to do this? He'd gone nearly his entire life without over thinking blowjobs. Now, he wondered how he ever could have thought himself straight when he liked this so much. Tasting just a little pre-cum stirred his own cock until it was straining against his trousers.

He didn't just like this; he was _good_ at it. He was quite proud of his skills, especially considering he hadn't really been doing it that long. Of course he had fit quite a bit of sex education into the months since he stopped lying to himself about his sexuality, but he liked to think that he was a natural at it. And the sounds Draco made drove Harry right to the edge. There wasn't any place he would rather be than on his knees in front of his lover.

Soon Draco was coming in Harry's mouth and the combination of several days without sex and the intensity of listening to Draco's own ecstasy had Harry nearly ready to explode. He stood immediately and had his own trousers down at near lightning speed. Draco smirked at the urgency of it all and turned around, bending over the desk.

"Come on," Draco whined impatiently. He wiggled his arse slightly. Apparently Harry's pace wasn't urgent enough.

As punishment for his whining, he only got a moment's notice, signified by Harry's hand on his hip, before Harry was pushing inside him with his fingers. He gasped, but the sound quickly changed to a moan. Yes, Harry thought, he was good at this too. A few moments later, and after more impatient whimpers from a certain blond, Harry was fully inside him. He willed himself not to come already, but it was challenging. Draco always felt good, but today the intense pressure and heat was enough to finish him right then.

"God you're tight," Harry moaned. They'd fucked more times than he could count, but it still amazed him at how good—how absolutely fucking perfect—this felt. He held tightly onto Draco's hips and could see Draco gripping the edges of his desk for support. Pieces of parchment, previously scattered across his desk, were now fluttering to the floor as the only sounds in the room were of paper and rough grunts. The desk may have shifted several inches, Harry didn't care. So long as he was coming inside Draco, none of it mattered.

He thanked the gods for silencing charms as he shouted Draco's name as several profanities when he came. Draco sagged over the desk in exhaustion and it was all Harry could do to not immediately collapse down into his chair as the last waves of his orgasm tapered off. His forehead dropped down to Draco's back as he panted. He was feeling a bit dizzy as all the blood returned to the rest of his body from his dick. Draco looked back at him, amused.

"You're never going to get any work done in here again."

As if he needed the reminder that he'd broken his own rule. "Get out."

Draco's shoulders shook as he chuckled. "You can't kick me out of your office while you're still inside me." Harry groaned in frustration against Draco's back. "Don't worry; I'm not in any rush. If they insist upon talking, they can at least say that I stayed for the entire lunch hour."


	27. Pride and Prejudice

**Chapter Twenty-Six – Pride and Prejudice**

Together, and with the firm resolve to ignore the stares they were receiving, Harry and Draco arrived at Platform Nine and Three Quarters just moments before the Hogwarts Express was scheduled to pull in. Lily had come with them as well and as usual, she was completely oblivious to the looks. Perhaps not oblivious, but certainly unconcerned. Nothing really bothered her.

The children began exiting the train all at once and Harry was scanning the crowd for the boys when he caught a glimpse of Rose first. She kept looking behind her and talking nonstop. Harry smiled, thinking of the way that Hermione would do that to him and Ron when they were young. He reflected on that a moment and realized that aspect of their relationship had never really changed. Following closely behind Rose was Al who was rolling his eyes at something she said. The identity of the next person behind Al caused Harry to blink and wonder if he needed new glasses. Scorpius was laughing at something that Al said in response to Rose. Al grinned back at him, the two boys looking as if they were the best of friends.

Draco nudged Harry and pointed to their sons. Harry only nodded back, not taking his eyes off the boys. Finally gathering his wits, Harry waved them over. The flirting from Lily began at once and though Scorpius didn't immediately seem to understand what it was, Al's eye roll indicated that he knew exactly what his sister was up to.

James eventually wandered over, but every step was made with reluctance and his posture was that of an angst-ridden teenager. The whole world was against him. He answered his father's questions about school with one word sentences and a glare that made Harry reconsider keeping the kids all summer.

They had hardly stepped in the door at the new house when James asked loudly where his room was and quickly disappeared to it. They'd set up James and Lily's rooms on the third floor while Al and Scorpius' rooms were just down the hall from Harry and Draco's on the second. The sleeping situation had been carefully planned. James was far enough from Draco and Scorpius that he could have the space he needed, but Lily's presence ensured that he wouldn't be too isolated.

Another plus for that arrangement was that she was away from Scorpius, who she had begun to ask questions about in the weeks leading up to the summer holidays. Harry was not ready for whatever might happen if their rooms were closer. Of course Draco teased him about his worry over it. At thirteen, Scorpius had only just begun showing interest in girls, but nothing that was too worrisome.

After dinner on the first night the children were home, Harry knocked on James' door and was reluctantly invited inside. The boy was lying on his bed looking at a magazine and did not look up at his dad.

"Do you like your room?"

"It's fine."

"Can we talk?"

"If it's about Malfoy, no."

"I told you at Easter that we were going to have this conversation."

"And then you went and moved in with him!"

"I understand your frustration, but I can't stop my life completely just because you disagree with it."

"Whatever."

"I don't want this to cause problems between us. I want us to be close again. How can I help make that happen? Besides breaking up with Draco?"

"What makes you think you can?"

"Something must work. We can talk about what exactly your problem with me is. Is it just being gay, or is it that I divorced your mother?"

"Do you have any idea what it was like at school after you divorced? Everyone asking me so they could sell the story to the _Daily Prophet_. But fine. I can handle that. But this? Now I have kids asking me if I'm a fag too."

"I know that's difficult, but you can't let their opinions shape how you feel about things."

"They ask what it's like to have a pervert for a dad." Harry winced at that and would have responded, but James continued. "How could you be married to Mum and then decide you're gay?"

"I still don't understand it entirely myself. I can only guess that I was so desperate to be happy that I made myself believe that I was. I accepted life as I thought it should be without questioning that I may want something different. I loved your mum. I don't want you to think that I only married her to hide the truth. I still love her very much. I'm just not_ in love_ with her."

"But you are with Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes."

James nodded, looking thoughtful. His anger had faded some, but Harry could still make out the resentment in his face. It would take a while for him to adjust. Finally James turned back to his magazine.

"I still think it's disgusting," he muttered.

"Well I still expect you to be polite with Draco and Scorpius. They live here now, same as you."

"Fine."

James couldn't see, but Harry smiled. It was a start in the right direction. Even if the war wasn't over yet, this small battle had been won.

__

Harry laughed at the amazed, shocked looks plastered on the children's faces. "Well, is it everything you imagined?"

"Wow," said Al, taking in his surroundings with wide eyes. "So this is Pride. Have you been here before?"

It was the day of the London Pride parade. The kids had only been home from school for a few days, but Al had been asking questions about Pride and how muggles felt about gay families, so Harry finally decided that they could see it for themselves. Most of the events that Harry and Draco had attended in the past were for adults, but there were plenty of family activities. In fact, many couples brought their kids. James, of course, opted to stay at home. For the entire week he had remained antisocial, but had kept his word to Harry that he wouldn't cause trouble. Harry couldn't help but feel that disaster was just around the corner, but there really was nothing to be done about it. James operated on his own time schedule.

Lily, Al and Scorpius however couldn't wait to see what the big deal was about Pride. The celebration had been going on all week and though Draco had slipped out of the house to attend some of the more adult events, the parade was family friendly and a good way for the children to become more comfortable with having their fathers out and bond a bit more with each other. They were able to see other families with gay parents. In the wizarding world, it was easy to feel like they were the only ones. Harry only wished James would have come so he could see how normal they were really were.

"I did come last year," Harry answered Al. "I mostly just watched from a distance. I was still pretty timid, scared to admit who I was."

"I've been here," said Draco proudly, linking his arm through Harry's as they walked.

"Yes," Harry responded. "You're a bit of a local celebrity here, aren't you?"

"You said it." Draco smiled brightly and kissed Harry on the lips.

"You are in a particularly good mood."

"Pride does that to me. Even if I didn't get to wear my first choice of ensemble today."

Harry rolled his eyes. A few of Draco's muggle friends had been talking for weeks about what they were wearing to Pride. They'd had sequined dresses and high heels picked out for a while. Unfortunately, Harry had nixed the idea, saying that taking the children to Pride already had the potential to be stressful without adding cross-dressing to the mix. Wasn't it enough that everyone else would be in drag? So Draco settled for his second choice, tight jeans and his equally tight black shirt with a thin, horizontal rainbow stripe across the chest.

Leaning in close enough so only Draco could hear, Harry whispered, "You can wear that other outfit for me later if you like."

"Harry! Draco!"

They turned to see Cameron walking toward them holding hands with some guy they'd never seen before.

"It's so strange seeing you in daylight without a drink in your hands."

"Well it is _the_ place to be," said Draco.

Cam looked around at the new faces. "And with your children, too."

Draco pointed to each child as he said their names and turned expectantly to Cameron.

"Oh, this is Robert."

"Good to meet you," said Harry. "I see you got the day off, Cam. How do you manage that? The pub must be busy today."

"Not that busy; everyone is down here instead. But I always have Pride off. You see, it's also our anniversary. Robert and I met at Pride exactly eight years ago and we've been together ever since."

Harry felt his jaw drop open. Cameron had never let on that he had a serious boyfriend. Everyone knew about his strict no dating customers policy, but no one had ever known that it was because of a significant other. Cameron knew everyone else's troubles, but none of them had the slightest clue about his own life.

"That's great," Draco said.

"We think so." He smiled at Robert.

Draco was pulled away by Lily then. She had been looking at something in a shop window and desperately needed Draco's opinion on it. With an apologetic glance to Cam and Robert, he went to join her. They watched him go and Cameron turned back toward Harry.

"He seems close with your daughter." Harry nodded. "You know, it doesn't happen often, but I think… I may have actually been wrong."

"Oh?"

"That opinion I shared with you back on New Year's."

"Oh, that one. Yes. You've shared it several times since then too."

"I just wanted you to know that I'm glad I was wrong."

Harry smiled. "I'll give you a pass. You were half right that night."

"But everything has a way of working out."

As the adults stood chatting, Al wandered a little ways away, watching all the activity around them. There were so many different things to see. Some people appeared what he thought of as normal, in regular denims and t-shirts. They were with friends or partners or even their children. But there seemed to be a high percentage of people in costume. Some appeared to be regular drag queens, which fascinated him because he'd never seen one before. Others just seemed to have woken up that morning and decided it was a good idea to put on women's clothes and makeup.

And the men in women's clothes were just the start of it. Many of the other men hadn't bothered to put on much of anything. It was a hot day, but not hot enough, Al thought, to justify walking about practically naked. But they did and didn't seem at all self conscious or embarrassed. Al couldn't take his eyes off of it all. Suddenly there came a voice from just next to him.

"It must be difficult to hide all the drooling."

Al turned to Scorpius scowling. "There's no drool."

"I don't know why anyone would want to strut around in their undergarments," Scorpius said, glancing at a particularly well built young man wearing only a gold, shiny speedo. "But I suppose if that's what you're into…" He shrugged.

"I'm not."

Scorpius smiled and turned to face him. He seemed almost smug. "Al, since we've arrived I've looked around some, Lily has commented on the colors and costume styles and you have been staring obsessively at the half-dressed blokes and in the general direction of their crotches." He took in the petrified look on Al's face, but smiled. "Don't worry. Our fathers were too busy looking for themselves to notice that you were too."

"I wasn't," Al responded weakly.

"Sure you weren't. You're secret is safe with me. Wouldn't want your homophobic arse of a brother finding out."

"There's nothing to find out."

"Don't waste your time denying it to me. I don't care either way. I mean, after your father comes out, goes through a horrendously public divorce, then gets his picture in the paper for dating the world's most famous wizard, you just sort of decide to not care anymore."

"Well, that's fine, Malfoy, but there's nothing to care about."

"Right. Have it your way."

For the rest of the afternoon Al was careful not to look at anything for too long and continued to look over his shoulder as if Scorpius were still watching him. It was just normal curiosity, right? Who wouldn't stare for a bit if someone was walking around the middle of the city in daylight in nothing but a pair of knickers and a feathery headdress?

They met several more of their dads' friends after Cameron. There was Mark, who didn't have time to talk and Ben, who had all the time in the world and stayed with them for some time, filling their dads in on local gossip and flirting back when Lily complimented his clothes. And then there was some guy named Blake, who had a very brief and cold conversation with Harry. Al missed the first part of it because he'd been with Draco buying some ice cream, but when they came back his dad looked extremely uncomfortable.

"You would hardly talk about anything personal with me, but Malfoy gets to spend the day with your family? Thanks for really giving us a chance."

"It's not like that. Draco and I have known each other for a long time. We've known each other's families since school."

Blake glanced at Draco as he approached. "Good to see you sober. Considering last time you couldn't stand up on your own."

Draco nodded. "Drinking a bit less these days."

"So everything you said to me before. Was that true, or was it your drunken way of getting rid of the competition?"

"If it was, it must not have been a well thought out plan, because I don't remember it. Amazing what a little bit of ecstasy will do to one's memory."

"Well, glad you can joke about it at least. Good seeing you again, Harry."

Harry watched him walk away and then looked at Draco. "What did you tell him anyway?"

"Not a clue. You know how I said stuff about you when I was high though."

"Father, what was all that?"

"Nothing. Harry's ex-boyfriend doesn't like me"

Al and Lily looked at each other. "You had a boyfriend before Draco?" Al asked.

Harry sat down next to him and Draco followed, laughing. "Did he have a boyfriend? Oh the stories I could tell about your father and the dozens of—oofh!"

Harry withdrew his elbow from Draco's ribcage with a scowl. His children may know what the word sex was, but they certainly did not need to hear about how much of it he'd had with near strangers. "Yes, I did. Briefly."

"But what was all that about ecstasy and being sober," asked Scorpius.

Harry and Draco glanced at each other. "It's nothing," said Harry. "He was just being spiteful."

"No, Harry. I think they should know the truth." He turned back to the kids. "Up until very recently, I was known among some of our friends for being a bit of a drunk. I was depressed and used alcohol and muggle drugs to make it better, which was very wrong."

"But you don't do it anymore."

"No. I've been clean for nearly six months. And I'm telling you this because I'm realistic enough to know what teenagers get into and I'm telling you that it is certainly not worth it. It almost killed me." He said that last part quietly, so much so that Harry wondered if the kids really heard it. "So if any of you are ever tempted to try illegal substances, come to me first and I will tell you the story of when I woke up in that hotel room in Edinburgh. That should be enough discouragement for a lifetime."

Harry frowned. "Yes, thank you for that Draco. Let's not scar the kids for life, eh? So who's ready to head home?"

After everyone was in bed for the evening, Harry crawled under the covers next to Draco. "Did you have to bring up the Edinburgh story? I've never even heard the whole thing, but I know it's not a story fit for children."

"That's why I said I'd only tell it if they were considering drugs. I thought you'd approve. I was so high that night I'm still not sure who I fucked. Or how many of them there were. I only know that my arse hurt for a week and a few days later I needed an antibiotic potion. Trust me; it's enough to scare them away from drugs." He thought about it for a moment. "And it also doubles as a safe sex lecture."

"And you, preaching against the evils of illegal drugs." He scoffed.

"What? I'm clean now. Seen the error of my ways and all that."

"You talk as if you don't currently have a stash of pot down in your office right now." Harry grinned and slid closer to Draco. He wrapped an arm around Draco's waist and snaked a hand up under his shirt.

"Pot is _not _that bad. When I say 'clean' I mean the more serious stuff. And don't act like you don't smoke it too."

"Only when you make me."

"It helps me relax."

Harry moved in for a kiss. "I can think of other ways to help you relax." Harry began nibbling on Draco's ear, loving the soft moan he heard come out of his lover.

"Yes, let's relax. That's a good start."

"Just wait until I'm finished."

Meanwhile, just down the hall Scorpius was on his way back from the bathroom when he heard what could only be described as a giggle from behind his father and Harry's bedroom door. He shook his head. That was something that he did _not_ need to hear. They'd only been in their new home for a few days and it was still a little strange to see his father disappear behind the door with Harry at night. It would take some getting used to, but whatever was going on in there now was not something that he wanted to know anything about. Instead of going back to his own room, which was across the hall from his father's, Scorpius headed down to Al's room, which was next to his own, but a little further away from their parents.

Al was sitting up in bed, looking through a magazine when Scorpius entered without knocking. He looked up, surprised at the intrusion.

"Thought you might still be up."

"What do you want?"

Scorpius shrugged. "Didn't want to hear my father have sex."

"They're… doing it right now?" he asked with a frown.

"I suppose I can't be sure, since I've never actually heard two men having sex, or anyone else for that matter, but I made an educated guess."

"Gross."

"Indeed. So what are you reading?"

"Oh. Uh, _Quidditch World_. My mum writes for them sometimes."

Scorpius sat down on the end of the bed and peeked at the page Al was on. "But that's not her article, is it?"

No. It was, in fact, a bio on a very popular player and a full page photo of said player, posed with his broom in a way that could only be described as provocative. Not overtly sexual; it was after all just a Quidditch magazine. But the photographer certainly knew what he was doing.

"Henry Wallerby, huh?" He played for Puddlemere for just two seasons. Young. Fit. Al closed the magazine with a frown.

"What are you really doing here?"

"Just as I said. And wondering if you're going to stop denying it."

"Get stuffed, Malfoy. Why do you care?"

"I'm interested. I want to know what it is that makes a guy like another guy and you're my chance to find out."

"Oh, so I'm like the human equivalent of a potions experiment or something."

"Right."

"Leave. Now."

"Oh, come on."

Al sighed. "You've never thought about it? Not once?"

"About…? Boys? No. Not once. You have, I take it."

"Just… say what you need to say and get out."

Scorpius cocked his head to the side. "Say what? I'm not here to mock you. I'm honestly just curious about why you like boys. No judgment."

Al let out a humorless laugh. "Can't you just ask your dad and leave me alone?"

"No. The last time I asked my dad why he liked other men he responded with a five minute speech that involved things like muscles and stubble and something about penis sizes that I still don't want to think about."

Al blushed. "Well, how should I know?"

"Al, you only looked at the men. There were plenty of women at the parade today, and quite a few that were worth looking at. I noticed. You didn't."

"I just… I just would rather look at them than at girls. I can't explain it."

"But girls are so much… I don't know, softer. Why wouldn't you like them?"

"I don't know! I know I'm supposed to, but I just… Maybe I'm just not interested yet, but I will be."

"You don't fancy me, do you?"

"What? No! Even if I did like boys, it doesn't mean I like all of them. Doesn't mean I like _you_."

Scorpius' eyebrows pulled together. "What's wrong with me?"

Al's laugh contained true mirth this time. "God, you are so vain. Do you want me to like you?"

"No. Actually I think that would be more than a little awkward, but I think anyone attracted to boys should like me. What's not to like?"

Al shook his head. "For one thing, I was under the impression that you're straight."

"I am. Although I suppose your father didn't figure it out until he was in his thirties, so there's always a chance I will wake up gay someday. But no, I'm pretty straight at the moment."

"I don't think you just wake up gay one day. It doesn't work that way. At least I don't think so."

"So how did you figure it out?"

"I… I'm not…" Al frowned and looked away. He suddenly felt trapped and, to his horror, as if he may start crying any moment. "I'm not. Just because I was thinking about it… I mean, my dad just came out. It's only natural to wonder. Right?"

He looked back over to Scorpius then, but didn't get an answer. After all, what could Scorpius really say? He wouldn't know any more than Al. Less, since he didn't seem to have any experience with it.

"I… don't know."

"Just because I've thought about it, it doesn't mean I'm gay, does it?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I'd say it means you're not all the way straight." He was quiet for a moment. "It doesn't matter, right? I mean, obviously you want to figure it out. But it's not like it's going to matter to your family. And I meant what I said earlier. I don't care either way."

Al nodded. Scorpius, feeling rather awkward now with the turn the conversation had taken, went to the door.

"Scorpius?" The boy turned to face him. "The answer really is no. About liking you."

He thought for a moment. "The only reason I asked is… the way you hexed Rogers after he attacked me… I just thought… But you're right; you wouldn't like _all_ boys, just like I don't like _every_ girl I see."

"I hexed him because you're my dad's boyfriend's son. And Rogers is a homophobic prick."

"And that bothers you. The homophobia part."

"And the bullying part. When he attacked you he was really attacking all of us. Our dads included. You're a good friend, but I don't have a crush on you. Even if I was… you know."

"Oh. Okay."

Scorpius left then and Al let him. He'd worked hard, harder than he should have to, to keep everything he'd been feeling secret, but Scorpius saw through it. And it scared him. It scared him more than any other aspect of this. If Scorpius, who really hardly knew him, figured this out, then who else would? And it wasn't that he thought there was anything _wrong_ with being gay. When he first realized that he wasn't as interested in girls as some of the other boys were, he was terrified of what it could mean. But then his dad came out and he realized that right or wrong, he wouldn't lose his family over it.

The problem was that everything he'd seen his father and Draco go through was enough to scare anyone into the closet permanently, but seeing Pride had given him hope. It made him think that he might be able to have a normal life, regardless of his sexuality. It wasn't too long ago that the values of the wizarding world were shared by muggles when it came to homosexuality. And yet somehow that had all changed. Who said it couldn't change for wizards too?

Not that he was really gay. And not that he needed to put a label on himself so soon. There was plenty of time for all that and it took more than a single afternoon at Pride for the pieces to fall into place. He could live in denial a little longer.

Al looked down at the photo of Henry Wallerby again. The photo waved and winked up at him. Muscles flexed as he shifted the broom from one hand to the other. Al sighed. The denial wouldn't last long.

The next week was relatively uneventful. Fleur had always watched Lily when Ginny and Harry were at work, so Al went with her. It was better for them to spend the day with their cousins than to be left unattended all day. Some days Draco was home working out of his office, but no one, including Draco himself, was quite ready for him to have that level of supervision over them. James opted to stay home on the days that he knew Draco wasn't around. He was free to go to his friend's house or just about anything else as long as he let his dad know where he was. Unfortunately, being the oldest child in the family didn't always mean that James was any more mature or trustworthy.

Harry didn't normally leave his office until five in the evening, though he tried to be home as much as possible in the summer. He could shave an hour or so off the work day if he really tried. But there was nothing that could have prepared James for his father leaving work four hours early on one lazy Friday. The only warning he had that his father was home was the sound of the floo activating from the next room. Unfortunately that wasn't enough time to conceal what he was doing or where he was.

Harry walked into Draco's office almost as soon as he arrived home. He used the office himself from time to time just for a quiet place to think, but it was generally Draco's territory. Which is why he was shocked and more than a little upset to see his oldest son there.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Given the fact that you hate Draco, I have to think you're up to no good in here."

"I'm just looking around. Tryin' to figure him out. You know."

"You could try actually speaking to him. That would give you a much more thorough understanding of him. All you're going to gather from sneaking around in here is that he is obsessive compulsive about keeping his things in order. So if you touched anything, then move it back right now because he will notice and you don't want to see one of his temper tantrums."

"So… you're not going to tell him?"

"Not this time, but you're not to come in here again. If you do, I will sit back and watch the show when he gives you a piece of his mind. It won't be pretty."

James gave him a small smile and that was the end of it. Maybe he was going too easy on James, but Harry was feeling pretty good about the progress they were making. It seemed almost like they were on the same page again. Maybe James was finally starting to adjust to everything. He should have known that nothing worked out that easily.


	28. The Ultimatum

**Sooooo sorry for the long break. But I'm back. And it's a long, drama-filled one :)**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven – The Ultimatum**

Much of Draco's daily business was conducted from his home office, but he had begun to set up an office in Diagon Alley for the potions business. There was a lot of work involved in it and instead of just hiring someone to do all the work, Draco decided to take a more direct approach to it all. He bought an old building in Diagon Alley and hired some contractors to make it look presentable again. His office was to be on the second floor and all the paperwork involved in the trade business would be done and stored there. Below was the shop where the rarest potions ingredients in the world would be sold. He was still working out the details, but so far promising deals had been struck with companies in North America and Africa. There were many valuable magical plants and animals that were native to other continents and so far the only way they made it into England was through independent traders, which made them uncommon. If Draco could import those items he would have a near monopoly on the market.

The shop wouldn't be ready to be opened for several weeks, but Draco was hard at work organizing his office and picking out the perfect furniture for the place. He claimed it was just to give himself something to do while Harry was at work all day, but Harry saw the pride he took in his work. When he was working he came alive and seemed content.

It also gave him a chance to spend time with Scorpius. While the Potter children usually spent their days with family, Scorpius found himself learning to sort legal documents and categorize ingredients. In exchange for his help Draco paid him a small salary, which was rather pointless considering that he never really said no if Scorpius asked for money to begin with. But the money wasn't the goal anyway. The job was an easy one and it allowed a lot of extra bonding time for father and son. One boring afternoon Scorpius was watching his father read when he had a question.

"Lily goes to Hogwarts this year, right?"

"Mm-hm," Draco responded, not looking up from his papers.

"Do you suppose she'll be in Gryffindor?"

"Most likely. They all are, aren't they? It might destroy the fabric of human existence if a Potter or Weasley weren't in Gryffindor."

"Oh."

It took a moment to register the full conversation and the hint of disappointment in the boy's voice and Draco pulled himself from his paperwork to look at his son curiously.

"Why were you asking about Lily?"

Scorpius shrugged. "I don't know. She's nice."

Draco's eyebrows shot up. "Nice?"

"Well, yeah. And it would be great to have another friend in Slytherin."

"Oh?"

"Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you want us to get along?"

"Of course. I'm glad you and Lily have become friends."

"She's a lot more fun than most girls."

"Oh Merlin," Draco mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just remembered I need those files from earlier. Just the June records."

Scorpius left to get them, unaware of his father's looming panic attack.

When they got home that afternoon, the house was bustling with activity. Harry was in the kitchen preparing dinner and the Potter children were all in different parts of the house, busy with their normal routines. There was a pattern to the way they all scattered after Harry brought them home from Fleur and Bill's in the afternoons. Predictably, Scorpius ran off upstairs to find Albus as soon as they got in the door. Draco continued into the kitchen. Harry was mixing something in a bowl and Draco gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Harry, we have a problem."

"Not again! I told James he wasn't allowed in there without permission."

"What? In where?"

"Oh… er, never mind. What's wrong?"

"Well, I was talking to Scorpius, and…" He trailed off, noticing a pile of paperwork next to the stove. He'd gotten used to Harry bringing home documents and staring at them while he cooked or cleaned. There was sometimes just too much to take care of during the workday. But some of the words caught his eye.

Harry looked up when Draco stopped talking and followed his gaze. He sighed. He didn't have to say anything for Draco to know what he was thinking. So maybe he'd been a bit more protective since Harry was cursed and nearly killed. Maybe he'd taken a little more interest in Harry's job. It really was only logical for him considering what had happened and who had done it. But they'd had this conversation before.

A week before the children came home, Draco had seen Goyle referenced in some of Harry's papers and started asking about it again, but Harry had stopped him.

"Ginny had the same trouble at times, you know." Draco had looked up at him, startled that he was being compared to Ginny. "After the war, when we were rounding up what was left of the Death Eaters, Ginny was finishing school and then she moved in with me. Every time we found another one or followed another lead, she had to know. I started hiding the missions, hiding the injuries because I couldn't take the questions and the look she'd give me, like she thought I was never coming home again."

"This was serious though, Harry. They nearly killed you. They were planning some sort of… terrorist attack or something, from what I gathered."

"Do you think that's news to me? There's always someone waiting to kill me and there's always someone planning something sinister. It's my job to prevent it. For every raid that goes wrong, that you hear about, there are dozens more that go right. Last year we stopped three major attacks. One was to target the Ministry. The other two were muggle locations. Each one could have killed hundreds, if not thousands. What happened to me is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And if you're going to live with me without losing your mind, you won't ask questions about my job. Because if you look at every piece of paper I bring home, if you ask about every case, if I told you even half of it, you would never let me leave this house."

Those words had echoed in Draco's mind for weeks. He knew, of course, what the Aurors did, knew that Harry had a dangerous job, but somehow he had still come to think of what happened to him as an isolated incident. He'd shared the opinion that Harry shouldn't be on that case because he thought it would keep him safe. He failed to recognize that it was just business as usual in the Auror Department.

That night Draco had come to a very important conclusion; their lives could _not_ be about Harry's job. Only small parts of their lives were about that, even though the injury had made it seem like so much more. When they got home in the evenings, they both shared some of the highlights and lowlights of their days. It wasn't that Harry was keeping him totally in the dark. It wasn't that Harry didn't think he had the right to ask about his partner's day. He was just trying to save Draco's sanity.

In the end, Draco conceded that he had to trust that Harry knew how to do his job as safely as possible. They hadn't lost an Auror in the line of duty in more than ten years, but that did little to make Draco feel better. Living with Harry made him see all these things that he had overlooked before and he had to train himself to overlook them again.

At Harry's knowing look, Draco sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying to let go, but it's hard." Harry offered a sympathetic smile. "I worry about you too much, I know. I'll try to care less whether you live or die."

Harry smiled a genuine smile this time and brought an arm around his boyfriend. "I like you worrying about me, just not to the point where it causes an ulcer." After a quick kiss on his lips, Harry turned back to the food. "So what were you saying before?"

"Oh…" Draco fought to get his mind back to where it had been. Oh yes, Scorpius. "Your daughter is making eyes at my son."

Harry laughed. "You've known that for a while."

"Yes, well _he_ has noticed now."

Harry put his big mixing spoon down and turned toward Draco fully. "What does that mean?"

"He was asking questions about which house she would be in at Hogwarts."

Harry frowned. "Well we both know where she'll be. And he had best stay in Slytherin."

"It's not like we can control them when they're away."

"We can try."

"Harry…"

"If you had a daughter you would understand."

"Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm."

"Really."

"It's not like he's going to _do _anything," Draco laughed. "Lily, on the other hand…"

"Exactly what is that supposed to mean? She's barely eleven years old and is not capable of-"

"Of what? Of flirting shamelessly? Of batting her eyes and making the entire male population of Hogwarts turn their heads? Please, Harry. She may be younger, but she's not quite as innocent as you like to believe."

"Now you're saying that she's… what? A…" his voice dropped to a whisper, "…a slut?"

"Merlin, no. She's eleven. But if anything were to _eventually_ happen, it certainly wouldn't be Scorpius initiating it."

"Well maybe your son isn't as innocent as _you_ want to believe."

"I… This is going nowhere. All I was saying is that I'm concerned that we are dealing with a two-way crush and I don't want it to affect how the children all get along."

"That's not a problem. James will continue to be pigheaded and Al already adores Scorpius."

"So you're just concerned about what? That Scorpius is going to try something with her?"

"I remember what went on at Hogwarts after curfew."

"Neither one of them is going to do anything; he's only thirteen. And you're becoming one of those crazy fathers. You're worried over something that probably won't happen and definitely shouldn't be a concern for several more years. They're too young for that."

"Yes, and when exactly did you lose your virginity?"

"Fourteen. But that was with Pansy, not some little first year. Lily is only eleven and though it seems that you find it hard to believe, Scorpius can restrain himself."

"Well he certainly didn't learn restraint from you."

Draco left Harry to grumble about the situation, smiling to himself. Harry was rather cute when he was flustered. Picking up the papers that he brought home from Diagon Alley, he headed toward his home office to put them away. But upon opening the door he caught the distinct scent of marijuana. It was faint, but someone had certainly been smoking it that day. He already knew that it wasn't Harry, who never smoked it alone and certainly not while the children were all around. In fact, neither of them had touched the stuff all week. All other occupants of the house had alibis for the day, except James.

Draco suspected that someone had been poking around in there. He'd seen several things out of place and after a momentary panic attack, realized that in a house full of children it was unrealistic to expect everything to stay pristine. There had also been a faint scent of cigarettes just a few days ago, but he hadn't worried about it. He usually smoked in the evenings and if James had been curious and tried it once, well he wasn't going to get Harry all worked up over that. Nothing had been missing and it was only the once, so he didn't confront anyone, but this was another matter. James had been looking through stuff enough to find Draco's stash. What else might he have gotten into?

Draco glanced up at the porcelain jar he kept on the shelf. Most of his money was in Gringott's and what he kept in the house was generally in the safe tucked away behind a portrait in the wall. Harry had laughed at him when he installed it, saying that it was like something out of muggle film and he didn't think anyone actually put safes in walls like that. But it was handy to have some money in the house, both muggle and wizard, to cut down on the extra trips to Gringott's. But even the safe wasn't extremely convenient for everyday use, so small amounts of cash could always be found in the jar. Just a few galleons and maybe thirty or so pounds. The amounts varied day to day, but Draco always knew how much was in there. He grabbed it and opened the lid. As he feared, two galleons were missing. He looked over to the bottle of firewhiskey and could tell, even from the distance, that someone had been drinking.

Draco glanced up at the portrait of his father. "You couldn't have mentioned this?" Lucius merely sneered and walked out of the frame, likely to go to his portrait at Malfoy Manor. He hadn't actually spoken to Draco since he first learned that his son was sharing a home with Harry Potter. It didn't really surprise Draco that Lucius would watch James stealing from him and remain silent. As furious as he would have been that a Potter would take from a Malfoy, Lucius likely found it fitting, considering Draco's choice of partner.

He spent the evening contemplating how to handle it. Tensions were already high between him and James. And while Harry and James were not actively fighting, that would change quickly once their tempers flared. By morning he decided to handle the situation himself. Scorpius was going to spend the day with his mother, while Al and Lily were going to Ron and Hermione's home for the afternoon. James would be home alone again. Draco went to Diagon Alley, just as he normally would, but didn't stay for the whole day. He left at lunchtime and returned home, hoping to catch James in the act. He wasn't disappointed.

The boy was sitting at Draco's desk with his feet up, joint in hand. Draco entered the room silently and observed for a few moments.

"Everyone is going out of their way to not arouse your temper and you really don't care, do you?"

Startled, James jumped up and smashed the joint against Draco's glass ash tray.

"You're enjoying this attention. You're enjoying the fact that your father is reluctant to punish you because he doesn't want to fight you. I have supported his decisions in regards to you, but there are some lines that cannot be crossed without consequences and this is one of them."

"You're not my father! You can't tell me what to do!"

"I live in this house and I can ask that you keep out of my private things. I don't go digging through your room, do I? The office is off limits when your father and I are not home. You know that and yet you still disrespected me by coming in here."

"Upset at what I might find in there?"

"I have nothing to hide. I simply ask for privacy."

"Nothing to hide?" He held up what was left of the joint. "Then why was this stashed all the way in the back of your bottom drawer."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You caught me. Yes, most mind-altering substances are tucked away a little better than other items. But your father's firewhiskey is kept in this room too and I don't see you calling him out on it."

"You've got drugs in a house full of children. How do you think that looks, Malfoy?"

"It's marijuana, not heroin. There is no wizarding law against it. It's no worse than the firewhiskey to the Ministry. And considering this is not the first time that you've gotten into my pot or the firewhiskey, I don't think you are in a position to judge."

"You can't do anything to me. I'd just say I got it from you and everyone would believe me because you're a lying, worthless Malfoy."

Draco wanted badly to scream at him and tell him to get his smug arse out of his office. This boy was confident and he knew how to get the reaction he wanted. Draco was determined not to give it to him.

"Who do you think you're going to tell? Your father is the only person that cares about your little rants and I'm fairly certain that I can convince him of the truth, given the evidence. I will, however, also be putting a locking charm on this room from now on. It's a pity I can't trust a fifteen year old not to behave like a toddler getting into everything he sees."

James scowled and took several steps forward, coming just inches from Draco's face. "One of these days my dad is going to wake up and realize that you're nothing. You're worse than nothing. He's going to wonder what he ever saw in you and you'll go back to being a pathetic reminder to everyone of every last failure of you and your kind. And I'll be glad to see you go."

Draco used every last ounce of resolve he had to keep his face impassive. He would not show weakness to a teenager. "Perhaps you are right. Until that day, keep your arse out of my things. Now leave."

He watched James storm out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He stood there for several moments before sinking down into one of his large armchairs. Leave it to the boy to speak one of Draco's own worst fears. All of his insecurities that he worked so hard to keep buried flew back to the surface.

With Harry it didn't matter. Harry made sure that he never felt like anything less than perfect, but outside of that bubble, what was he to anyone else? There was a voice inside him that said it was only a matter of time before Harry stopped lying to himself and realized that this was the last place he wanted to be.

_You're nothing. You're worse than nothing._

It kept playing over in his mind, threatening to drive him mad. His first instinct was to head out to the bar and forget it all, but he stayed. Wasn't that what he had always done before? When he felt worthless or trapped or just excessively bored, he would go to the bar and drink until he found someone to go home with. It was tempting now to fall back into old habits.

Draco's grip tightened on the armrests, fingernails digging into the leather. He didn't move, afraid where his motions might take him. He had been trying so hard to not let Harry down. He was trying to change and a regression now would only prove James' statement true. If he ever had any chance of being worthy of Harry it would be shot to hell if he fucked up now.

Draco wasn't sure how long he'd actually been sitting there. He could tell it had gotten later because the shadows in the room had changed, but he still hadn't left the chair. Not even to pour a firewhiskey. He did shift a little when he started getting sleepy and let his eyes close, just for a moment or two. Or so he thought. But soon dreams were taking over and Draco was powerless to stop them.

He found himself sitting on a barstool at the Leaky Cauldron. Dreams were always odd, for there were things that he knew to be true in a dream that he couldn't possibly know, having not actually experienced them. But in this dream he knew that he was working his way through his fifth glass of firewhiskey. He knew that he was alone and extremely depressed. He could feel every bit of it. Dream Draco noticed a copy of the _Daily Prophet _on the bar and pulled it over to read the headline. There was a picture of Harry and Ginny together, out at some big social event. She had her arm through his and was smiling widely at the reporters taking their picture. Harry was wearing his typical pasted on smile that he used when he had to make a public appearance. Draco had always thought it was rather adorable, but this was different. As he watched, the picture changed slightly and Harry smiled at Ginny. It was one of his real smiles, the way that he looked at Draco now.

Dream Draco put the paper back down with a soft grunt of annoyance, attracting the attention of someone sitting nearby. The stranger looked down at the front page and laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sick of them too. Ever since the Potters got back together they can't step out of the house without the _Prophet _snapping a picture of them. You'd think they were the bleedin' royal family."

Draco looked back at it, his heart breaking just a little. They did look like royalty, but more than that, they looked as if they were born to be that way. They were stunning together, the perfect public figures for people to look up to. They looked… like a family.

"Hey, wait a minute," said the stranger, "aren't you… that Malfoy guy that Potter was with?"

"No," Draco replied. He threw back the rest of his drink. "I heard Malfoy went the same way as his father a couple months ago and good riddance."

The stranger nodded in acknowledgement at the information, but frowned, studying Draco more closely. It wouldn't do to be noticed, so he set down his glass and stumbled out of the pub. By magic that only exists in dreams, he was suddenly home. It was his flat in London and it looked a bit different. There were a lot of empty bottles around, along with pipes and other evidence of a fairly steady drug habit. He'd never been so careless with these things before, but whatever had happened in this world had changed a lot of things.

Dream Draco sat down on the sofa and picked up a photo lying on the coffee table. A couple tears escaped his eyes as he gazed upon the picture of two happy men with their arms around each other. He curled up on the sofa, clutching the picture to his chest and began to cry.

The next thing Draco was aware of was a hand on his shoulder and he startled awake, still sitting up in his chair. He looked around with wide eyes. Sunlight was still filtering through the window, but it was coming from much lower in the sky. He looked and breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed Harry standing over him.

"Hey sleepyhead. I was just going to start dinner. Any special requests?"

Draco sprang to his feet and ignored Harry's "oomph" when he was pulled into a tight embrace.

"What's going on? I mean, not that I didn't miss you too, but I was only gone for eight hours." Harry pulled back and frowned when he noticed the moisture on Draco's cheeks. "Are you crying?"

"No. Allergies. That's all."

"What's wrong? Al and Lily said you've been in here since Hermione dropped them off."

"It's nothing. I just had a tiring day and Scorpius wasn't around to help me."

"No, it's more than that. Something happened."

He stepped away from Harry, knowing that he wasn't up to the full act that would be required if he wanted to hide what had actually happened. "I'm just having an off day. I had a lot of work and then I got home and just kept thinking depressing thoughts. It's better now that you're home."

"Did something happen with James?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Well he was the only one home when you got here and he's been talking to me even less than usual."

Draco sighed and sat back down. "I caught him snooping around the office and we exchanged some words."

"What was he snooping for?"

"Drugs, maybe money. It wouldn't be the first time."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I know he's taken things from here before."

"He wouldn't _take_ anything."

"Yes, he would actually. He has. I came home early just to catch him at it."

"I told him to stay out of here."

"And a boy like James at his age, I'm sure he is so eager to listen. He was smoking pot when I got home, Harry, and it wasn't the first time."

Harry shook his head. "No. James wouldn't do that."

"He was mid exhale when I walked in. There was once before that I smelled cigarettes in here after he'd been home alone all day. He does it early enough in the day and leaves the window open, so the room airs. And there was some money missing from the jar on the shelf."

Harry ran a hand through his hair. It was just too much. "Okay, we'll deal with this, but that doesn't explain why you've been crying."

"As I said, he and I exchanged words."

"He said something that made you cry?"

"Not at first, no, but then I just sat in here for a while… I don't know, maybe it got to me a little."

"Whatever it was, I'll talk to him about it."

"No. If you do then he'll just say that I need to you to stand up for me and I don't. I'll deal with that part. But we ought to do something about the drugs."

Harry nodded. He hated this part. He wasn't good at discipline. The only example he had of it as a child was Uncle Vernon's screaming fits and that was certainly not what he wanted to put his own children through. Reluctantly he stepped out of the office to find James lying on the sofa with a magazine.

"James, we need you to come in here for a moment."

James rolled his eyes before putting down his reading material and stomping into the office. Draco was casually leaning against his desk, facing the door. All evidence of tears had disappeared. Harry shut the door behind them.

"Wow, both of you. I guess I'm in trouble," James said, completely unconcerned.

"Quit the attitude," his father scolded. "You know what you did and you know damn well that you're in trouble."

"What did I do?"

"Smoking marijuana? Ring any bells?"

"That?" James shrugged. "Malfoy gave it to me. He said it was okay."

Draco made a soft snort of amusement.

"Don't you even think of lying to me, James! Draco would never have given you drugs."

"You believe him and not me?"

"In this, yes. What possible motive does Draco have for giving you drugs or lying to me about it?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's just sick. Maybe he's trying to get me high. I just don't know. But it's pretty bad when my own father won't believe me!"

"You, on the other hand, have plenty of motives to lie about all of it."

"This is stupid. I don't have to listen to this. You don't care what I think anyway. You don't even want me here."

"Yes, that's why I chose to have all you kids for the summer. That's why I bought this house for you all. But I really don't want you here."

"You don't care if I'm here or not. And you certainly don't care what I have to say. You've proved that already when you moved in with this Death Eater trash."

"James…" Harry said in warning, but the teenager continued, letting out all the hate that had been building up inside.

"That's what he is!" he yelled. "Trash. You think just because you picked him up at some fag club that the rest of us should forget everything he is and be some big happy family? Sorry if I'm not playing along in your little game. But don't worry, we'll be gone back to school soon enough and then it'll go back to being just you and your whore here."

Before Harry really knew what he was doing he had raised his hand, wanting nothing more than to slap the smugness from James' voice. He saw the boy's eyes widen and heard Draco coming forward too. He froze, staring at his son. His hand dropped slightly. What the hell was he doing? He felt Draco's hand on his back, ready to stop him from doing something very stupid, but he didn't need the back up. He knew he wasn't going to hit James. Apparently James didn't think so though.

"Do it," he glared at his dad. "I dare you."

Harry's hand dropped completely to his side. "You are going to apologize to Draco and you're going to be grounded indefinitely."

"No!"' James yelled.

"No? I wasn't asking, I was telling you. Start acting your age and apologize."

James turned away in response and stalked out of the office. Harry followed him out into the hall and to the kitchen. Lily and Al were both in there doing their chores as they usually did before dinner. Lily held the broom still, confused by the way her brother had stormed into the room. Al opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when the kitchen door swung open again.

"Don't you walk away when I'm speaking to you."

"We're done speaking."

Harry struggled to keep his voice calm in the face of James' shouting. "I'm the adult here. I will tell you when we're done. You owe Draco and I both an apology and you are not getting away with this behavior without a punishment."

"I'm done with this," James screamed. "It's him or me."

"Wha… what do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm not going to be in the same family with a Malfoy." He glanced at Draco and back at his father. "You pick. Your boy toy or your son."

Across the room Lily gasped. "James, no!"

He ignored her. "It's up to you, but I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not living in a house with _him._ I'll be at Mum's house if you make a decision."

When he left the room no one made an effort to go after him; they were all too shocked to move. A moment later they heard the floo activate and the sound of James leaving for his mother's house.

"I can't believe he said that," Al commented quietly.

"Well he didn't mean it," Lily reasoned. She looked at her father. "He'll be back. You know how he is."

Harry nodded. "I'm sure you're right. How about you two go in the other room? We won't worry about your chores tonight. We'll call for you when dinner is ready."

As soon as they were gone he sat, or rather fell, onto the nearest chair. Draco hurried to his side.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize for James' attitude."

"But his problem is with _me_."

"I think he would have done this no matter who was here."

"Still, I am the problem." He sighed. "I guess nothing can last forever."

Harry looked up at him, confused, studying his face. "What do you mean?"

"What do you think? I can move back to my flat in the city and James can have his father back."

"No. You're not going anywhere."

"Harry, James was very clear. He won't come back until I leave. Regardless of the lie you just told Lily."

"That is probably true. But I'm not… I can't give in. The thought of going back, of hiding it's…" He trailed off, panting slightly in his panic. "I can't breathe. And I can't go back to what I was before."

"You won't. You know the truth about yourself now, and so does everyone else. Once you're out of the closet, you can't entirely go back. This would just be keeping the peace. He's your son, Harry."

"I can't…" He leaned into Draco, tears pooling his eyes. "Am I a horrible father? I can't just not choose him, but it feels like I fought too long to get to this point. How can I retreat for anyone?"

"We can still see each other. He can't control that. He can't change how you feel about me." Draco began rubbing soothing circles on Harry's back. "When they go back to school I can come back. It won't even be an issue then."

"It will though. It doesn't matter what happens at this point. Whether James comes back right away or not, nothing will be the same. Am I to let my son tell me how to live my life? Aren't I supposed to be teaching him how to be a man? What kind of lesson would that be to hide and give in to prejudice?"

"I understand all of that, but you're going to end up hating and resenting me and yourself if you lose him because of this. It's no trouble for me to stay in London until school starts, if only to keep the peace."

Harry sniffed and pulled back to look Draco in the eye. For a moment Draco believed that Harry would listen to him, but he shook his head. "No," he said firmly. "This is your home. We picked it out together. You decorated it. This is _ours _and I won't allow my own son to chase you away from your house."

Draco touched his cheek lightly. "You're so stubborn, Potter."

"I know. I believe he will change his mind. He's having a rough time with this, but he's a Potter."

"Contrary to popular belief, Potters are not perfect. It may take more than this."

"He will change his mind. We just have to wait."

As unlikely as Draco thought that was, he nodded. It was all Harry had to hold onto at the moment.


	29. Heroes

**Sorry for the wait… Final chapter, but stay tuned for a special author's note at the end.**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight – Heroes**

After James' ultimatum Ginny said that he could stay with her for the remainder of the summer and this arrangement seemed to work for a time. James was unwilling to take back what he said to Harry and Draco, even after conversations with Ginny and most of the rest of his family. Not only that, but he was completely against further discussion of it at all. He claimed the only person he would talk to was his father and only if it was with news that Draco had moved out.

Life had continued awkwardly at the Potter-Malfoy home after James left. Scorpius had been filled in on everything that he had missed that evening by Lily and Al. While all three children were rightfully horrified by what had happened, they avoided mentioning it at all to their fathers. In the days immediately following James' departure Lily tried to remain positive for her father, but it quickly became obvious that was not the best way to go. Every time she brought it up Harry stopped whatever he was doing and left the room.

Draco, though he knew that he was not truly to blame, could not escape the sense of guilt that he felt over it all. His months of therapy had done wonders, but old habits die hard. He still had trouble believing that not everything James had said to him was true. Harry's family meant everything to him and though Draco had a hint of the pain this was causing him, he couldn't really know the full extent of what Harry was feeling. Shouldn't that be enough for Draco to realize that James' words were empty? It wasn't. A part of him still doubted and he didn't think he could really live with himself if Harry lost his son because of their relationship.

It was a quiet evening in August when Harry received a call on his mobile phone. He didn't often get calls at all. Most of his wizard friends floo'd and the muggle friends rarely had reason to contact him. The entire family was cleaning up after dinner, all in the kitchen still. Scorpius and Al had been discussing their Seekers only quidditch match that Al won that afternoon as they cleared dishes from the table. Harry threw in his advice about playing for their house teams while Draco helped Lily with her new hobby, folding origami. She'd been making little cranes all week, mostly to distract herself and everyone else from the continued tension. Realizing that the phone call must be something urgent, Draco stopped his folding and set the partially finished bird on the table to listen to Harry's conversation.

"Chief Inspector Harris? What's going on?" … "No, it's not a bother." … "_What_?"

The children all turned toward the change in Harry's tone. It was no longer polite and inquiring, but hard and angry.

"You're sure?" … "Of course." … "No, I understand. I'm glad you did. I'll be right down to get him." … "Thanks."

Harry pressed the end call button and set the phone down.

"What's wrong, Dad?" Al asked.

Harry looked up at Draco when he spoke. "That was my contact in the London police department. James has been arrested."

"By muggles?"

Harry nodded and left the room. A moment later, Draco found him tying his shoes near the door.

"I'm coming with you."

"No. I'll deal with this."

"Judging by the look on your face, I really think someone should go along. For James' safety, if nothing else."

"I'll be fine. I'll collect him and leave him with Ginny."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest. There were many things in the world that he was uncertain of. Harry Potter's temper was not one of them. When it got to the veins bulging out on his neck stage, the slightest trigger would set him off. And knowing James and his inherited inability to control his tongue, it wouldn't take long.

"You're angry and irrational."

"Stay with the kids." Their eyes met briefly, but without any further good-bye, Harry disapparated.

It took Draco all of five seconds to decide what to do. He left instructions with the children to not destroy the house while he was gone and then apparated to Ginny's house. She deserved to have some warning as to what was going on and Draco hoped that Harry's temper would hold out until they at least made it there.

Harry materialized in the alley behind the police station where James was being held. He had gotten a lot of attention in the Ministry when he made a point of making connections in muggle law enforcement, but it had come in handy in quite a few cases. His contacts were all squibs who had chosen to live primarily in the muggle world or muggles who had wizards in the family. These people, the squibs especially, could recognize when magic may be playing a role in muggle affairs and knew the proper people to alert. It saved time in getting criminals prosecuted and cut down on having to obliviate muggles after everything else was settled.

Chief Inspector Harris' sister was a witch currently working in St. Mungo's. While they were not particularly close, Harris at least had a basic knowledge of magic and the Ministry, making him a good source over the years. Apparently James and his friend, Jacob, hadn't volunteered any information when they were arrested aside from their names, but that had been enough. Harris heard the name Potter and noticed some of the odd details his police officers were mentioning about the arrest and asked directly if he was Harry's son.

A small part of Harry wanted to smile at the look of fear and horror that passed over his son's face when he walked into the police station. James may hate him at the moment, but at least he still saw Harry as a formidable authority figure. Jacob's face showed similar panic, but Harry didn't speak to them. Instead he went to the counter to ask for the Chief Inspector. Moments later he was led away, out of sight of the scared boys. Twenty minutes later he returned and nodded toward the door. He apparated them to Jacob's house first. As the boy was headed inside Harry finally spoke.

"You are to tell your parents everything that happened tonight. I work with your father and I will know if you did not come clean."

Jacob's eyes widened and he glanced back at James before scurrying into the house. Wordlessly Harry apparated he and James to the boundaries of Ginny's anti-apparition wards.

"I'm disappointed in you."

James finally overcame his fear. "Yeah, well now you know how _I_ feel about _you_."

"Don't you turn this back onto me. I'm the adult here and you're the child and today you showed worse judgment than a toddler."

James rolled his eyes and started stomping toward the house. "So ground me. Tell mum to give me hell for the rest of the summer. I don't care."

"Well you better start caring." James kept walking. "I should have left you there. Then we'd see how smug you are after sitting in a muggle jail overnight."

"It's not like they could have kept me on anything."

"You were drinking!"

"They couldn't find any trace of it when they tested me!"

"Because your magic was blocking it somehow. It doesn't mean that it's okay."

They had reached the door to Ginny's and James pulled it open with more force than was strictly necessary and stomped through it. He looked back with annoyance when it was clear that Harry was following him.

"You can go now. I can fill Mum in on everything without you here."

"I don't think so."

James shook his head, grumbling under his breath. Ginny exited the kitchen then, looking worried. To their surprise, Draco was right behind her.

"Great, him too."

"What are you doing here," asked Harry.

Before Draco could open his mouth, Ginny spoke up. "Someone had to tell me what was going on." She turned to James. "I thought you were going over to Jacob's house."

Harry snorted. "And I'd be willing to bet that Jacob's parents thought they were coming over here. Instead they decided to go into London and get drunk. When a pub owner tried to kick them out, there was a fight, the police were called and luckily for all of us Chief Inspector Harris _just happened _to be working late and noticed when they were brought in."

Ginny's mouth dropped open. "You were drinking?"

"We just wanted to taste it," he answered defensively.

"We talked about this. You agreed that the drinking and smoking were a mistake. And how did you get into London?"

"Good question," said Harry. "Either you had an accomplice, or yours and Jacob's brooms are stashed somewhere near the pub."

James scowled.

"You rode your brooms all the way into the city? You could have been seen! You could have been hurt!"

"You and Dad did it, didn't you? And you were flying all the way from Hogwarts."

Harry stepped forward. "And it was one of the stupider things we did at your age, but it was under completely different circumstances. It was during the war. We weren't going for a joy ride to get wasted and kicked out of a pub."

"Forgive me, oh great hero Potter. I forgot you only ever have the purest motives."

Harry could feel his face heating up and his resolve to remain calm was cracking. With the last shreds of control that he possessed he took a deep breath. "James, go to your room."

"Glad to."

Harry watched him leave. "I thought he was still grounded."

"He is. The only reason I let him go to Jacob's was because he agreed at the beginning of the summer to help Jacob's mother with her garden. She's busy this year with the new baby, so I figured if he was working… I thought it would be good for him to work and not be completely isolated." Ginny shrugged in defeat. "What are we going to do?"

"Next time I will leave him in jail."

"I meant what are we going to do so that there will not be a next time?"

"Lock him in his room?"

"I'm serious."

"Me too."

Draco stepped forward and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "He's just going to keep defying you until you do something about it."

"You're one to talk. The way he was talking about 'hero Potter' I could have sworn I was talking to you."

Draco smiled. "I never would have gotten caught out drinking. We Slytherins have more control than that."

Harry sighed. "I can't keep fighting with him like this."

"Then talk to him again," suggested Ginny.

"I did. I keep talking, but it doesn't change anything because I'm still his disappointing, fag father."

"Harry."

"No, Gin. I'm always going to be. I don't know how to be anything else anymore and James is always going to be ashamed to have a gay dad. And fighting me, talking back, that was one thing, but this… getting arrested!" Harry stopped and ran both hands through his hair. "No. I'm not doing this. If he's not going to listen then he can just sit in his room for a while. I can't talk him into accepting me anymore than I can the rest of the world, but there are three other kids at home that we need to get back to. Call me if he wants to talk."

Without another word, or waiting for Draco, Harry stomped out of the house. Draco glanced at Ginny who was looking pointedly from him toward the door.

"Shouldn't you go after him?"

Draco shrugged. "He needs to cool down. He won't even notice I'm not there for another hour."

"This has been difficult on him."

"He's tried to remain positive with Lily and Albus, but this with James has nearly destroyed him. He feels that he should be able to fix it, save the day, you know. But what can he do? You can't go back in the closet once you're out."

She nodded. "And he shouldn't have to try. James should not have made him feel that there was a choice between him and the rest of Harry's life."

Draco looked down, ashamed. "James actually made it a choice between him and me. Do you still think Harry chose correctly?"

Ginny took a moment as she digested this detail. "I can't say I would have made the same choice. But I wasn't there and I'm not Harry, so I'm not about to judge him. And I can tell you for a fact that James is not devastated that Harry chose you, only upset that his plan did not work. It was a bluff and as far as he knows his father merely called it."

"That's interesting," Draco murmured. After all, James couldn't have possibly known how Harry would take it. He had no way of understanding the absolute horror Harry felt at the possibility of hiding everything again. Harry needed to feel free of those secrets, something it had taken Draco some time to understand for himself. And once that door was opened, the thought of going back was suffocating. James would never understand that because he had never felt trapped in that way.

"James has always been the difficult child," Ginny continued. "Even as a baby. He was so terrible I swore I wouldn't have any more children. Of course we know how that turned out."

"Maybe I could talk to him."

Ginny's eyebrows shot upward. "Do you have a death wish?"

"He can't be worse than Harry was at that age. I remember being on the receiving end of that temper. Besides, I'm the only person who hasn't talked with him yet. Everyone else has tried, but I'm the one he hates. If I can get through to him, even a little bit, it will go a long way to fixing things."

"By all means, have a go. But don't say I didn't warn you."

With one last smirk sent in her direction, Draco stood and made his way upstairs. He felt a bit silly for not having asked Ginny which room belonged to James, but it didn't take very much detective work to pick out the right one; it was the only room with the door shut. He knocked at the door and when there was no answer he tentatively opened it.

"James?"

"They must have got desperate if they sent you up here." He jumped up off the bed to face Draco. "Go away."

"I think we should talk. We haven't really talked, just the two of us, even though we were living in the same house. I think your father went out of his way to make sure there was a buffer between us all the time and we should have been getting to know each other. You don't know anything about me and I don't know much about you."

"I don't want you to."

"I think we could get along, if we tried. We have a lot of similarities. We both like Quidditch, we both are stubborn. I've had my share of problems with the law too."

The saying about "if looks could kill" came to Draco's mind when James glared at him. "I'm not like you just because I got arrested once."

"We've both done things we're not proud of."

"I haven't done anything as bad as you."

"Probably not. But we all make mistakes. Tell me at what point a person's bad actions reach the point of no return? What cannot be forgiven?"

"Having that Mark on your arm, for one."

Draco automatically ran a hand over the sleeve that covered the Dark Mark. "I agree, that's bad," he said quietly. He pulled the sleeve up, showing James what was left of Voldemort's Mark. It had faded dramatically over the years, beginning immediately after the monster's death. Draco didn't miss the way James leaned in closer to get a better look. The boy was curious, fascinated even, and that was his way in. "Tell me something. Would you get a tattoo on your arm if it saved your mother's life?"

James' eyes left the Mark and narrowed on Draco's face.

"That is how it happened to me. I'm not saying that I was an innocent person, even before, but the day I had this placed on me I was told that my mother and father would both die if I refused. I did it and many other things because of that threat. I did things that I will never forgive myself for, things that people have the right to hate me for. But if I had it to do over again… even knowing the guilt that I would live with, I really don't know what I could do differently. After all, how could I watch my own mother die?"

"A lot of other people died in the war and I know enough to know that anyone with that Mark had a part of it."

And something hit Draco quite suddenly as he took in the direction the conversation had taken. It was so simple and he should have seen it even before.

"That's really what this is all about, isn't it? It doesn't have anything to do with your father, or even the fact that he's in love with a man. It's that he's in love with _me_." Draco smiled. "Everyone thinks you're homophobic, when you're actually just appalled that I was a Death Eater."

"I knew," James said quietly, looking away from Draco. "I figured out he was gay last summer after the divorce. Then at Christmas, the way he was looking at you… I didn't need some article in the paper or him to tell me. I already knew it was you." James took a deep breath and turned back to face him. There was a defiant pride in his eyes as he began. "My dad is a hero. He did more by the time he left Hogwarts than most people do in their entire lives. He was the youngest Head Auror the Ministry ever promoted and if he ran for Minister he would win, even against Shacklebolt."

"Yes," Draco agreed. They were finally getting somewhere now that they could speak rationally to each other instead of yelling, which is what usually happened between James and Harry. "He's an amazing man."

"So then why would he be with _you_?"

That stung just a little, but Draco waited for James to continue.

"He hated you and your father and everything your side stood for. He and my mother barely even escaped the war with their lives. My uncle was killed by someone with that Mark and yet he goes to bed with you as if it's not even there. The Mark represents hate and death. So it's great that you feel guilty, but it doesn't change the fact that people died because of you."

Draco nodded. He couldn't deny that. Nothing would ever change that. So he decided to try a different angle. "Yes, they did. It was war, so people died. I didn't kill anyone myself, but I admit that people died as a result of my actions. I wonder, have you ever asked your father about the war? What it was like? The details? Have you ever asked what it feels like to make decisions that kill people?"

"He only killed Voldemort."

"True. And he likes to remind people that, if you want to be technical, it was Voldemort's own rebounded spell that killed him. But many more died as a result of his actions and he still lives with that guilt. Loss of life is unavoidable in war. In fact, many more would have died if Voldemort hadn't been stopped. But regardless of the nobility in your reasons or how you justify it, the fact remains that your actions resulted in death. It's been twenty-one years and he still wonders if he could have done something differently. If he could have taken Voldemort out without putting those at the school in danger. I don't expect you to fully understand what I'm saying, James; you weren't there. He saw and did things that you wouldn't believe. He lied, cheated stole, cast Dark curses. He almost killed me once and I still see the guilt in his eyes every time he looks at the scar, even though he's saved my life several times since then."

"What scar?" James asked, looking curious again.

"It's just here." Draco pointed to a spot above his heart. He unbuttoned the top two buttons and pulled the shirt over so James could see the white diagonal line.

"Didn't you get it healed? Why'd it scar like that?"

"It was healed almost immediately. But it cut too deep to not leave a mark."

James's eyes widened. "My dad did that?"

"We were fighting at school and he hated me enough to try out a spell that he didn't know the effects of. Ask Moaning Myrtle some time and I'm sure she'll tell you all about it. The point is people and situations are not always as you believe them to be and in war the line between right and wrong can become blurred. Even heroes do things they are ashamed of and a human will do what he must to survive. None of us who lived during those times are truly innocent. You hating me for something that happened so long ago doesn't do anyone any good. It doesn't bring back the dead, as much as I wish it could. And I'm not the same boy who took this Mark any more than your father is the same boy who let me nearly bleed to death on a bathroom floor. It's a lesson that took us both a long time to learn."

James nodded and they were silent for several moments. Then, "Why were you fighting?"

"I was scared and he was angry. Never a good combination."

"Why were you scared?"

"I was trying to keep my mother alive and to do that I was doing things I did not want to do. He was trying to stop me. He was always trying to stop me in school. I started the fight. He finished it. I remember looking up at him, blood all over the place, and seeing that look of pure horror at what he had done. Professor Snape came in and took me to the hospital wing in time, but for a few moments he and I both thought I was going to die."

"Were you afraid to die?"

It was hard to judge James' tone. It was not angry or smug, but not pity-filled either. Merely curious perhaps?

"No. Being around Voldemort, seeing what he did to people… I was already in Hell. How much worse could death be? I _wanted_ to die. That was my way out of everything I didn't want to face."

"I'm not going to change my mind about you just because you have remorse now."

"That is your choice. You have many choices, James, and a family who will forgive your mistakes. I did not."

James rolled his eyes. "Don't act like you had such a terrible childhood. I know the Malfoys are rich and you got everything you ever wanted."

"So are the Potters and so did you," Draco countered. "I did. Up until the war. I was spoiled and selfish and I loved the power our money gave me over other people. And then my father went to prison, Voldemort took over my family home, my mother and I lived with the constant threat of our execution and I saw my first boyfriend murdered in front of me. I may have had choices technically, but deciding between survival or watching your family tortured and killed isn't much choice.

"I wonder just how different we are, James. You love your family. You would do anything to keep them safe. I imagine you wouldn't do much differently from me."

James studied him silently for a few moments as if deciding if Draco was telling the truth. Draco figured he must have passed inspection when the boy spoke again.

"All that you just said doesn't make you a good person. Or deserving of my dad."

"No, it doesn't. It doesn't make me a terrible person either. I don't blame you for having doubts, because I have the same doubts. You don't have to tell me that I don't deserve your father because I already know that. But for some reason, he loves me. He has more reason to hate me than anyone, but somehow he doesn't."

"Why? You hated him too back then. How can you suddenly be in love now? It doesn't make sense! You should be trying to kill each other, not shagging!"

"I think perhaps we were always more alike than we wanted to admit. Stubborn. Proud. Skilled wizards, each in our own way. But circumstances set us against each other from the beginning. When we grew up we realized that those circumstances are gone now."

James sighed in a tired sort of way. Maybe he still didn't like the situation, but the fight was gone. "He's not going to break up with you because of me, is he?"

"He is a very stubborn man."

"And you're not going anywhere."

"Not as long as he wants me there."

James sighed again. "I don't want or need a second father, especially you, so don't expect me to start treating you like one just because you live with my dad."

"Well don't expect me to treat you like a second son. I respect you for the person you are and as Harry's son. I only request a certain amount of respect in return. Do you think we can coexist peacefully?"

"I still don't like you."

Draco smirked. "I would never ask you to. I will ask that you apologize to your father though. You'll never understand what the last few weeks have been like for him and you both need to make peace with each other."

"You're not demanding an apology for yourself?"

Draco shook his head. "I'm not going to force you to say something we both know you don't believe. Someday, James, I hope to prove to you that I belong in this family, that I deserve your apology. If that happens and you feel that you need to say it, then I will accept it. And if that day never comes, then I will settle for merely co-existing peacefully in the same house."

James appeared to contemplate this for a moment. Draco had no interest in making James like him and he hoped the boy could see that truth. If James was ever to accept him it had to happen gradually as they got to know each other.

"Well, I won't steal your drugs anymore. Or the firewhiskey."

"You bet your arse you won't. You'll also be working at my office to pay back the money you took."

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's just what me and you need is more quality time together."

"We'll survive it."

James appraised Draco once more and grudgingly nodded. Yes, they would survive it.

"Spend the evening here with your mother and we'll expect you home tomorrow morning. Don't think you will be avoiding some form of punishment for this stunt, but that is entirely up to your father."

James only nodded again and Draco stood, looking around fully at James' room for the first time. "The Cannons? Really?" James rolled his eyes in response and Draco smiled before exiting the room. He couldn't help the smug smirk that took over his face as he made his way out of Ginny's house. This war would continue, but a huge battle had been won this night.

When Draco returned home that evening the other kids were already in bed. He found Harry sitting in his office with a glass of firewhiskey. He was still extremely tense after his encounter with James and didn't bother looking up when Draco came in.

"Where were you?"

"Thought I'd stay and chat since you didn't want to."

He shook his head. "I just don't know what to do about him. He's impossible."

He slouched back in the wide armchair, drink still in hand. Draco calmly removed his cloak and laid it over another chair.

"I think he'll be changing his mind about some things soon."

Harry looked up at him questioningly, but Draco's only response was to kneel down on the chair, knees on either side of Harry's legs and settled himself on Harry's lap. He leaned in to place a kiss on Harry's neck, then along his jaw line. Harry's eyes drifted shut.

"Not that this isn't great, but it isn't going to get my mind off things. Not tonight."

"Like I said, James will be coming around soon."

"How do you know?"

"I talked to him."

Draco leaned in closer for another kiss, but Harry blocked him with his hand. His eyes were wide open now.

"What did you say?"

"We just had a real conversation—man to man—and I think it helped."

"Really. James spoke to _you_."

This time Harry didn't stop him from kissing, still processing what Draco had said. Draco placed kisses along his chin and neck and his arms came around Harry's neck.

"Draco, will you stop that and talk to me?"

"I've been talking too much tonight."

"Seriously."

Draco sighed. He knew he had to tell Harry the whole story, but these were not his favorite conversations. He was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and he just wanted to take Harry to bed and forget the last several weeks. "You're son is quite reasonable when his temper doesn't get in the way. And he loves you very much."

"He said this?"

"No, not in so many words. But I can recognize a boy who is proud of his father, of his family."

"Proud?" Harry asked with wonder.

"Yes. And he's quite particular about who enters his family. He looks at me and sees what everyone else sees, which isn't good enough for his father. Regardless of my inadequacy, he has agreed that shutting out his family is not the answer. He will be back tomorrow." He watched as Harry's face went from confused to shocked to happy. But it was bittersweet for Draco because James had unintentionally stirred up all of his insecurities once again. Most of the time Draco accepted that he and Harry were happy and in love, but now and then he had to question his own good fortune. Draco smiled sadly and asked the one thing that he had never dared ask Harry. "Why the hell do you love me? Because I still don't get it."

"I…" Harry frowned, surprised by the question. "I love you because… Look, you once said that you wanted to be with me because I see you instead of the Mark and your past. Well it goes both ways, doesn't it? You see me for things other than being the Chosen One. The war… those were just things we did, not who we are." Draco still didn't seem convinced. "Why would you ask me this?"

"Because James asked and I didn't know what to tell him. Why would the hero love the villain?"

"Oh Draco, you've never been the villain to me. There were times when we were children that I thought so, but we were children and I had to have some excuse for being so obsessed with you. For seven years of my life there were two things I focused on: escaping Voldemort, and fighting you. And that second part was what kept me sane between the Voldemort parts. We were rivals, but there was never a villain in our battles."

Draco smiled. "You were obsessed with me?"

"As if you didn't know already. I think the obsession was mutual."

"Perhaps. So were we secretly attracted to each other do you think?"

"Maybe. Maybe some part of us knew, even then, that we would be in each other's lives. That's not something that can be explained to James or anyone else. We know the truth and that should be enough."

"Most of the time I don't think of you that way. As a hero, I mean."

"That's part of what attracts me. Why is it so hard to believe that I don't think of you in terms of the war when you know you don't think of me that way?"

"I don't know. James sees it too. Sometimes I look at us the way everyone else does and I wonder if I'm just imagining the whole thing. Like I'm going to wake some day in St. Mungo's with some crazy mental illness."

"James and the rest of them don't know the truth." Harry placed his hands on either side of Draco's face. The tips of his fingers played with strands of blond hair. "The truth is that I know the real you, the you that they don't take the time to understand. I know what you've done and what you're capable of, but I also know what is important to you, what you believe, what you look like when you sleep. I know where your true loyalties lie, Draco, and that means more than anything that happened so many years ago. You are so… frustrating and infuriating, but we fit together. And I've waited all my life to feel the way I feel when I'm with you. So maybe in a way, you're _my_ hero."

Draco couldn't help himself and he kissed Harry hard on the lips. When he pulled back he smiled. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I don't. I just say what I feel. You're not the bad guy, Draco, and if James would take a chance to get to know you then he'd learn that."

"Maybe he will, maybe not. I talked him into coming back. Maybe I can talk him into liking me. But I think it will take time."

"Well we have plenty of time. And you can talk anyone into anything. I have faith in you." Harry smiled and pressed his forehead against Draco's. "How can you doubt I love you when you are willing to face the wrath of my teenage son just for me. That's a real hero."

Their problems weren't all solved just yet. Life, it seems, is more complicated. It would take a while to heal the wounds resulting from James' decisions. It would be messy and difficult and there would be more fights, but the healing had begun. Draco let out a tired, happy sigh. Life wasn't perfect, but for the first time Draco felt as if he fit perfectly into it. He had been working too hard to convince himself that he belonged there, with Harry and he finally felt like he could go to sleep without worry that he would wake up back in his flat in the city, having dreamt it all.

"Well I want you to be happy. That means your son and I have to start getting along and I'm going to do all I can to ensure that happens." Draco placed another kiss on Harry's lips and when he pulled back moments later he was grinning. "Of course there are other things I'd like to do to keep you happy too."

Harry smiled in return, his mind finally moving from the problems that the evening had begun with. "Well you're more than welcome to do anything you want to me."

"Oh," Draco groaned. "You have no idea what you just volunteered yourself for." He leaned in and whispered in Harry's ear, "I think I still have my handcuffs in the desk drawer."

THE END

…**or is it the end? Perhaps if you go to my profile right now you will find a very brief (2 parts) sequel entitled "Other Fairytales" that might focus mostly on Harry and Draco's children during and after school with guess appearances by H/D. It's hard to say. :)**

**Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this story (especially during my long breaks between updates) and those who sent in all the fabulous reviews. I love you all!**


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